Don't pull the thang out, unless you plan to bang. We mean you, Jose.

Fresh off the beanfest that was the Nats-Mets series last week, MLB has stepped in to tell the two squads to "just play ball."

Now, Major League Baseball is normally all over this kind of thing. Look how quickly and tidily they cleaned up that whole steriod mess. Frankly, we are stunned it even came to this. The Metropolitans and the Nationals should know better.

MLB giving the two teams a stern warning reminds us of growing up in our household, which contained six kids. The house was just small enough that everybody was always all over the place. Things got chaotic, especially during our more formidable years. You'd get smacked around, and then you'd smack the little brother around. Sometimes you got away with it, most of the time you didn't.

But when things got too crazy, Mom or Dad would come over and say, "Hey - knock it off," and give that look that you really didn't want to get. The ante got upped. You had to be sneaky about what you were about to do, because if (read: when) you got caught, you were in big trouble. But the fact remained: you were going to smack him back. Oh, please believe that.

Same thing with the "just play ball" warning from MLB. "We let you mess around, but if you start plunking people in the helmet again, you are really in trouble." Now, our parents were alot scarier than MLB. You think either the Mets or the Nats are scared of any retribution from Selig Fife (can't tell you how much we love that nickname)? Well, they aren't. That warning will have no bearing on any beanballs either team was planning on throwing. If anything, it upped the ante even more. Knowing the suspension will be even greater, its now more of a badge of honor to "defend" your teammates.

We predict a hail of beanballs, suspensions galore, fans loving it and not one player caring in the slightest that they were suspended.

And if Jose Guillen has any nuts at all, he'll charge the mound like a man when he gets drilled. That was such a sorry exhibition of mound-charging, he should be ashamed of himself. No one thinks any less of you if you don't charge the mound. But if you are going to walk out there, THEN GO. None of this walk out halfway, point your bat and wait for everyone to grab you. "Hold me back! I swear to God, I'm gonna...hey, why isn't any one holding me back? Oh, there we go...I'm gonna kill you, you're lucky they're holding me back!" I'm sure Pedro was shaking. The man took on Don Zimmer for God's sake.