Friday, April 07, 2006

Favre making costly the field this time

Brett Favre is taking his sweet time deciding whether or not he wants to retire. It's a tough decision, especially for someone who has invested themselves so deeply into the game for as long as Brett has. Still, the feet-dragging has gotten a little out of hand, especially since anyone with a TV show or a column has decided to blast him for it.

Hey, maybe Favre has earned the right to drag his feet a little. Who's given the franchise more during his tenure? Say what you will about what he's doing, but if anyone has earned the right, it's him.

There is plenty of evidence to despise Favre for what he is doing to the Packers. He needs to make his plans clear, so the Pack can make preparations either way for the upcoming season. Last season, he ripped Javon Walker for holding out, and now he is in effect doing the same thing. When pressed on the issue, Favre said he would continue to take his time. His exact words? "What are they gonna do, cut me?"

Sounds like a couple of dick moves to us. But really, when you think about it...does it even matter? Say Favre screws over the Packers and retires a month from now. What changes?

They don't get to sign a "veteran" quarterback to run the show for a while. Who are they going to get, anyway, Joey Harrington? Plus, it's not like they are going to draft a QB. Worst-case scenario: Aaron Rodgers has to play on opening day and the remainder of the season. Why is this bad? Honestly, could he do worse than Favre last season? Could he throw more than 29 picks? Could his atrocious decision making cost the Packers some more games? Could he lead them to less than four wins? (Well, I suppose he could, but it would hardly matter.)

The bottom line is, it doesn't matter who is playing quarterback for the Packers, they are still going to suck. Their D is atrocious, their running back situation is going downhill and fast (anyone who owned Ahman Green on a fantasy team knows exactly where that career is headed and Samkon Gado...well, that was fun last year, but he was a fourth-string RB for a reason) and their best wide receiver wants out. Tom Brady would have a hell of a time leading this team, let alone Favre.

Favre's biggest hangup is that he wants to play for a "winner." Well, I hate to break it to him this late in his decision making process, but this is the same team that won just a single division game last season.

By the way, Favre's skills have eroded so quickly over the years, I'm not even sure the Packers want him back, but they have to be polite and wait Favre out. Honestly, would you want someone who has a good chance of throwing over 30 picks in one season QB'ing your squad? His vision is still there, but his arm strength is zapped. He's been forcing throws since the beginning of his career, but now that he has Chad Pennington's arm, he just can't squeeze those same throws in there anymore. That 40-yard bomb throwing across your body into double coverage, Brett? Might wanna hang that one up. But that's just me talking.

The thing is, Packer Fan isn't even worried about this. Why? Is he ultra-confident Brett will return? Is he so brainwashed into adoring anything the man does? Nah. He just knows they are going to suck next year, regardless who's under center.

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Qabster: The Debut

We attend a small college where the social scene is, shall we say, less than desirable. House/dorm parties are the standard. A little while ago, one room in particular became more popular than it should have been, and it was quickly dubbed "QABster" by a smart-ass friend of ours. QAB was short for Questionable at Best. We knew going in it was at best, questionable and at worst, very, very bad. For some reason though - lack of options? Yes. - we continued to make this decision which we knew was probably not going to work out.

Well, in that spirit, we are going to start a little thing (gimmick, feature, running trend - you pick, we really don't care) called qabster. It seems to us that every so often, a decision is made that raises a few eyebrows (more than a few if you are running an NBA franchise in the New York City area). No one can really figure out the logic behind the move, but its made anyways.

To get the ball rolling, we submit the Patriots decision to sign Martin Gramatica. Now, to be fair, the Pats have made a handful of moves over the years that at first glance were questionable, but turned out to be for the best. Still...there is no way this works. None.

Replacing the greatest clutch kicker of all time with one of the Gramatica brothers? Let's just replace Fruity Pebbles with Corn Flakes or March Madness with 8th grade girl's basketball. Yea, I guess they are similar...but not really.

Here's how we're going to work things around here. Since the decision in its best-case scenario is questionable, that means it's worst-case scenario is just devastating. Let's walk through a season under both assumptions.

QAB: Gramatica hits 2-3 on Opening Day; luckily no late-game heroics are needed when Brady leads come from behind victory by himself.
Worst: Game tied at 21 on Opening Day. Gramatica shanks 38-yarder for the win. Pat Fan grumbles about the days of Vinatieri.

QAB: Midway through the season, Gramatica is hitting 80% of his kicks. Pats don't need him for any close games. Pat Fan still weary.
Worst: Hits meaningless first-quarter FG in Week 8, celebrates like brother Bill. Tears MCL, ACL and PCL. Out 'til playoffs; Bill jealous of celebration.

QAB: Hits first field goal against Colts in playoffs, celebrates like Bill, retears ACL, cements status as biggest jackass in family. No small feat.
Worst: Vinatieri drills kick in playoffs to put Colts up 2 with 1:00 to go. Brady drives Pats to within FG range. You know the rest. Pat Fan hangs himself.

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Charlie Villanueva regrets leaving early...

We are aware the NCAA Tournament ended on Monday, and that today is Friday, and so any talk of it is incredibly untimely, but you know what? We don't care. We didn't exist Monday, or else we would have done this then. So we're going back in time to give you our now-annual "Point 23's March Madness All-Ugly Team." We get goosebumps just thinking about it.

Perennial MVP Charlie Villenueva left early to ball in the L (where he was instantly First Team All-Ugly, joining Sam Cassell and Popeye Jones) so that left all-ugly honors wide oen this season. This year's squad has a few returners, a couple sleepers and someone that came from so far out of no where - but
was so hideous - we are considering naming the team after him from now on. To displace Charlie in only your first year? Better start wearing a mask, my man.

Without further ado, here are the five players in this year's tournament who completely waste the ability to pick up groupies with a Cameron-esque line, "Yea, I play major D1 ball. You gonna suck it
or not?"

Josh Boone, UConn. Replaces last year's MVP and former teammate Charlie Villanueva. Why is he so ugly? The forehead...ah, no..maybe its the flopping rows? Yea, that's it. Maybe if he shaved his head...nah, not even then. Damn, Josh.

Jared Dudley, Boston College. A shorter, pudgier, filthier Josh Boone. There's no way to be tactful here: Just get a shower, homie. Hop in a bath. Grab a hose, something, anything. It looks like the filth could just be scraped off him. Defenders have to see his name on the scouting report and just dread the assignment - and not because of the man's skills.

Major Wingate, Tennessee. This picture doesn't really do him justice. You need to see Major after he hammers home a two-handed dunk (success rate: 50%), then lets out a ridiculous, over-the-top scream, showing off all five of his teeth and the cracked face of a 54-year old. Remember when Kramer lives in a smoke-filled room for a week? Think that, times...a lot.

Sheldon Williams, Duke. The hands down favorite heading into this season. Among rumors of actually eating babies, Williams has managed to look like both an Orc form The Lord of the Rings and the underside of a rock. The hideousness is amplified whenever Sheldon screams, which he only does 67 times a game. He was able to carry on the time honored Duke tradition of choking, however, and lost his should-be crown to...

Lorenzo Mata, UCLA. Words fail me. Good God. Usually, he wears a mask - albeit a clear one - but at least that was something. This is just horrific. There's ugly, there's train wreck ugly - bad, but for some reason you have to look - and then there is Mata-Ugly. Mata is cover-your-eyes and fight off tears ugly. Sadly, there is just nothing you can do here. Perhaps a circus...but even they might not take him. Just make it stop.

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An inauspicious debut

August 16, 1954 – Sports Illustrated hits newsstands for the first time. September 7, 1979 – Sports Center makes its debut. August 1, 2005 – Stephen A. Smith earns the right to yell during the lowest-rated show on television.

There have been some important firsts in the world of sports coverage. Well, this isn't one of them. “Point 23” debuts today (that’s what you’re reading right now, by the way…) with about as much fan fare as the second episode of “Quite Frankly.”

Since we really don’t have anything like goals or objectives in mind, we thought it wouldn’t be a terrible idea to give you a peek at our Mission Statement. Only a peek, though, so read quickly.

First things first: we’re biased. Unlike ESPN, who doesn’t know the difference between being objective and not (see: Bonds on Bonds), we think we have a pretty good handle on the distinction. And we’re biased. Certain teams are going to get hammered more often than Vin Baker.

or starters: anyone associated with Duke, Barry Bonds, the Yankees, Terrell Owens, Billy Packer. Bascially, you really have to try to be a jackass. This list is by no means exclusive,
and expect it to grow – quickly.

Also, anything associated with the word “Tar Heel” will get a free pass.

Aaaaaaaaaand that's pretty much it. Basically, we just wanted to get something up on to see how it looked. We hope its pretty.

Oh, and by the way. "Hotness" is what's hot. Pretty simple, eh? No? OK, well here's what to look for:

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