Monday, February 28, 2005

Words People Thought and Then Made Into Sentences and Then Actually Said Outloud

If there is one thing that is for certain in the sports world - well, other than the fact that Isiah Thomas will turn whatever he touches into a catastrophe - it is that people will say ridiculous things.

Wouldn't it be a good idea to keep track of them? Yea, I thought it would too. So let's do that. If you come across a good quote - preferably from sports, but if it is that good, it really doesn't matter where it is from - just post it here and then I'll make sure it gets added to that list in the sidebar.

Doesn't matter if the quote is new or old. You can even paraphrase it if you just heard it and can't remember it word for word. I'll take care of the rest.

What kind of quotes are we looking for? Well, for a full list, take a peek at the sidebar. But here are some to get you started...

"The Bears are who we thought they were!" - Dennis Green

"He worries about what people say about him and he Googles himself." - David Wells on Bud Selig

"I'm hunting for little Mexican girls." - Karl Malone

"Terrell has 25 million reasons why he should be alive." - Kim Etheredge

"Wells Fargo will contribute $5,000 to the 49ers Foundation to help under-served youth in the Bay Area for every 49ers touchdown scored this season. [Pause] There's going to be a lot of sad kids." - Joe Starkey, 49ers radio broadcaster

There you go: there are coaches, athletes, announcers, p.r. reps. Anyone will do. Basically, if they fill any of these requirements, they are golden:

1) If the speaker makes a statement and you can then imagine the person who signs the speaker's paychecks slamming their head repeatedly off of his or her desk, the quote is in.

2) You read a quote and have to ask yourself, "Wait...some one actually said that? Nu uh. That's made up." That's a quote I'd be interested in.

3) Anything that isn't a standard "We take 'em one game at a time" quote. Although Rasheed Wallace answering 102 straight questions with "Bof teams played hard my man" definitely qualifies.

So from now on, the second you hear someone say something ridiculous, you know just where to go. Word.

1 comments so far. Might as well add your own.:

jeffrey said...

'Those ceremonies -- 'Oh, let's bring back those guys from 2005,' we're all crippled and fucked up, pushing wheelchairs, kids crying because his dad was on the ballclub -- fuck that,'' Guillen said. ''I don't need that bull. A bunch of fat guys, another one is broke. 'Hey, where's your ring?' 'Oh, I don't know, I sold that son of a bitch two years ago.'''

Ozzie Guillen