Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Point 23's Pretend Draft. Its Worthless.

Here's my mock draft. Few things to keep in mind.

I'm going with who I think the team should take - not who they will take or are likely to take. And once I say that player is drafted, he's off the board. Onto the draft...

1. Toronto.
Bargnani seems to be the guy here, I guess, but I don't really get why they would take him. They got two up-and-comers down low - why take a 7-footer? Why not take a perimeter guy, someone who could play the 2 or 3, then try like hell to sign Mike James? That would be my line of thought anyways - seems like a pretty good young lineup to me. So draft Morrison, and let him kill teams from the outside and run off screens.

And while we're here, can we get a definitive pronunciation on Bargnani? It took us how many years to get Dirk's last name right - and half the people still say it wrong. One more reason not to draft him: he has a girl's first name. I don't think that helps. The Raptors are probably going to take him, but they should draft the 'stache.
The Toronto Raptors select...Adam Morrison.

2. Chicago
This much is clear: no one out there can really help the Bulls right now. They need a polished post guy. Maybe Aldridge is some day, but not right now, I don't think. So if no one is there for immediate help, why not take the guy with the most upside and can ball in the L right now? Take Rudy Gay. If it doesn't work out, so what? What did you lose? You were playing with house money anyways. You got the 16th pick to grab a "solid" guy. Roll the dice, Chicago. At the very least, you get some nice trade bait for when you make your "splash" trade. At the best, you get the best player in the draft. I see no downside.
The Chicago Bulls select...Rudy Gay.

3. Charlotte.

Lock up that backcourt, MJ. Get someone who can ball with my man Raymond Felton. Roy or Foye, who really cares? I'm kind of partial to Foye, but only because of his 'Nova ties (they were fun to watch). But Felton and Foye, thats a tiny backcourt. So take the bigger guy - and allegedly the most complete guard in the draft. No arguments there - Roy is tough and strong around the rim, gotta love that. Man can he finish, he has to be Bill Raftery's favorite player.
The Charlotte Bobcats select...Brandon Roy.

4. Portland
Cripes, now these clowns have the 4th and 7th picks. Who they hell knows what they are gonna do now? But that backcourt is awful - they have Maryland's crappy backcourt from 5 years ago. Best guard available has to be picked now. No questions asked. Snag Foye. Now.
The Portland Trailblazers select...Randy Foye.

5. Atlanta

Oh boy. You know they are dying to draft another 4. Lamarcus Aldridge, c'mon down! Ty Thomas, we want you! I guess they already promised Sheldon Williams they were taking him, which I guess makes sense. (Picking him, not making that promise. And what if they break that promise? What happens? Will Sheldon give them cooties? Are we in fourth grade here?). That said, Sheldon is a traditional back to the basket guy, which they could use. Maybe he could be good, but I'm really doubting it. "The Landlord" got away with murder in college - he committed 12 fouls a game. But you aren't dying for a big guy - you need a PG. Get Marcus Williams. He seems like one of those dudes who can just play. I see him walking by a court in jeans and boots, the guys yell they need a tenth, and he plays as is, and just kills dudes. May not look pretty, but he's just a baller. Take him, Atlanta. Don't take the orc. Trust me.
The Atlanta Hawks select....Marcus Williams.

6. Minnesota.
The T-Wolves need some one to play with KG, because apparently they ain't trading him. But I think he scares the hell outta most players. I mean, carrying around all those tech-nines and hand grenades, why wouldn't he? That said, who in those draft won't wither under his pressure? Ty Thomas or Rodney Carney seem the most likely to be able to ball with the big ticket. I think I'd take Carney - who could (will) be a better Spree, getting out in transition, knocking down 3's - and find a solid PG and try to recreate that season they went to the Western Conf. Finals. Is Carney good enough to take 6th? I don't know, but no one else really is, either.
The Minnesota T-Wolves select...Rodney Carney.

7. Portland (again)
That Telfair trade is really perplexing me. Why would you want two lottery picks in this draft? Bassy was better than any guard in this draft, anyways, but that trade forces them to take a guard. So now its just best player available, right? And clean up that image at the same time? Take Andrea - I think she's the pick here. You got a post player in Randolph, now a guard in Foye...get some one who creates mismatches for defenses, can play in and out...yea, I think that fits. I think.
The Completely Insane Portland Trailblazers select...Andrea Bargnani.

8. Houston

OK, you've got two good players - and that's it. They play center and 2/3. So PG or the 4 is the priority. Aldridge fits here. He won't have to face any double teams, so he'll be able to develop against single coverages in the early goings. Plus, he doesn't need to score as a rook to be effective here - Yao and T-Mac will take most of the shots. He can be an "energy" guy - guard the other team's best player, crash the boards and get putbacks, etc. I like this pick here - a lot.
The Houston Rockets select...LaMarcus Aldridge.

9. Golden State
This team is just a complete dice roll...Baron at the 1, Dunleavy at the 3...yea, maybe that could work...but it could also completely blow up. Either way, I'm seeing them back in the lottery. So why not roll the dice again? Take Ty Thomas - who knows what the hell he's bringing, but at least you know he'll be all over the place. He'll be good on the defensive end and on the glass - and finishes of oops from Baron and collecting J-Rich's misses.
The Golden State Warrios select...Tyrus Thomas.

10. Seattle
You gotta grab O'Bryant here. You're bed is pretty much made with your back court, for better or for worse. Sheldon may be an option inside, but you already have a bruiser/rebounder in Fortson. Get someone back there challenging and changing shots, getting fast breaks opportunities started. Get a threat down low, to free up outside looks for your guards, where they thrive. Your 1, 2 and 3 are the keys here - you are going to win or lose with them. O'Bryant helps here more than anyone else.
The Seattle SuperSonics select...Patrick O'Bryant.

11. Orlando
I think they need a two or a three who can score. I think Ronnie Brewer is that guy. I've only seen him play a couple of times - in March - but he impressed me a lot (and I know my opinion really matters). If you look at what they have - The Man Child that is Dwight Howard, up-and-comer Jameer Nelson, and The Dark Horse that is Darko, a 2/3 type is their best bet. But I mean, you are banking on Jameer being a stud and Darko not being a joke. But that isn't as far from the truth as it seems.
The Orlando Magic select...Ronnie Brewer.

Um...I just read Scoops "mock" (why the hell is it called a mock draft?!?) draft, and he has ORL taking Quincy Douby. Same reasons as me though, but Douby is just better. Which is true, he was killing people in the Big Easy tourny. At least I was on the same page as Scoop, though. So we're going to call it quits at 11, because I was trying to do this without looking at anyone else's mock draft and I just peeked. So I'm done.

Enjoy Dan Patrick, Greg Anthony, Stephen A. Smith and Jay Bilas tonight. Dan will make his smug comments to everyone and ask questions until he gets an answer he wants. Greg Anthony will profess his "love" to at least 8 guys, which will make everyone uncomfortable. Speaking of uncomfortable, that is what Stephen A. specializes in. Here's my theory: when he starts his whole screaming thing and dramatically pronouncing every syllable of every name, everyone becomes incredibly uncomfortable and does a little giggle things just to make up for it. Stephen A. completely misunderstands this as the rest of the room thinking him funny, and then he amps it up to another level, and the process repeats itself. Its just a vicious cycle. At least Jay Bilas will be there to calm everyone down, even if he is a little "smart" some of the time. Such a shame Hubie won't be there. And dear lord, please don't let Stu Scott handle the player interviews. Things will be awkward enough as it is.

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The Debut of Zero. I Know I Will Always Remember Where I Was. You Should, Too.

Since this comment - which form now to eternity will be referred to as "The Greatest Comment Ever," TGCE for short - was too good to be relegated to the comments section, here it is in all its glory. We'll call it the debut of Zero, although he's been around since day one.

Zero now has the privelege (Too strong of a word? Yes) of writing a guest column whenever he sees fit. And if anyone one else wants to write a guest column, just let me know, and we can work it out. We just have to take care of a few logistics first, that's all. In fact, that isn't just a suggestion, that is highly encouraged. Don't be shy, kiddies. I'd really like to get some regular or even once-in-a-while entries on here.

Without further ado, here is Zero's debut effort, which includes multiple laugh out loud moments. Enjoy.

Well, since I can’t get my own column around here I guess I have to take things into my own hands. Some know me as rockchalkin or Who Do You Think, but from know on it will just be zero, actually Zero. Enough about me, let’s pick.

The First Annual Baked Lays Mock Draft
Presented by Grey Goose

1. Toronto Raptors - Well, they need a 1. Too high to take one in my opinion. They need a 2, Roy’s the right pick, but young Colangelo disagrees with me and apparently he knows more about running a franchise than I do. They need a five and unless they feel like drafting someone named Hilton with the first overall pick then I doubt they fill that need. I say trade, as a matter a fact I'll go out on a limb here and say they send this pick to the Charlotte MJ's for the number three pick and Brevin Knight. Charlotte selects G Brandon Roy and puts this line-up on the floor on opening night.

1 - Felton
2 - Roy
3 - G. Wallace
4 - Okafor
5 - Primo Brezec

I say not bad for a young squad in the East and apparently Jordan wants to spend, spend, spend so if they can go out and get say...a more serviceable center (say, Ben Wallace or Prryzbilla, I know I’m reaching here) and some backcourt help (Speedy Claxton). Anyway, enough about a team that will still probably finish last in the Southwest. They’re young, give ‘em two years.

2. Chicago Bulls – This is my favorite pick of the night because its not their pick, it’s the Knickerbockers. I want them to ship this to Minnesota with some of the youngbloods they have been stockpiling and take back KG, but they won’t and McHale probably wouldn’t take them. Now that Roy is gone, they’ll take Aldridge and try to sure up the center position, boring pick. They finish fourth in the East next year and play seven great games with the Wiz.

3. Toronto Raptors – Mike James who? who? who? Mike Jaaaaaaames doesn’t have any plans of staying in America Jr. so that’s why the took Brevin Knight and traded down. Opening Night line-up

1 – Knight
2 – Mo Pete, Flintstones what
3 – Charles V.
4 – Bosh
5 – Rasho

Looks like they need help at the 2, oh wait they could have just taken Roy at one and been done with it and had a nicer young core than Charlotte but nahhhhhhhhh that’s no fun. They take Andrea Bargnani and play him at the five. Who knows, maybe they can be the dumpster version of the Suns. Whatever, another boring pick. You may not think so but I am having fun.

4. Portland Trail Blazers, formerly the Jail Blazers – Adam Morrison, if they don’t there might be a riot. He’s gonna be fine in the NBA, they say he can’t play D, but then again who can. He’s not Larry Bird, but he’s not Trajan Langdon either, yes I hate Duke.

5. Hotlanta Hawks – This is where things get fun. Apparently Billy Knight has promised Sheldon “Ork” Williams to draft him. You know what, he’s right, take another power forward that’s somewhere around 6’8’ because you solved the PG problem you created by not drafting my favorite young player Chris Paul last year.

Side Note: That’s one place that Point 23 and Zero disagree about. He hates CP3, I love. Moving on….

Because I want to be right I say they take Williams, when in reality they should take Randy Foye.

Which of these lineups do you like better?

T. Lue, Johnson, Childress, Harrington, Sheldon

I don’t know why I just typed that it doesn’t even make sense, I just want you to see how absurd it is.

Foye, Johnson, Childress, Harrington, Zaza Pachulia

That backcourt runs things in the East for the next ten years. Whatever Billy Knight, whatever.

6. Kevin Garnett’s team – I am not recognizing them as their real name because they don’t deserve to be recognized by that. They have failed to give KG, who arguably helped reinvent positions 3 – 5 any help except for the year that had Cassell and Spree and took the LakeShow to the limit. They can go two ways here: Foye or Gay. I say Foye and then they trade for K-Mart to give it one last run. Foye is Rookie of the Year, they finish 7th in the west and are swept by the Suns.

7. Boston Celtics – Paul Pierce and Rudy Gay: not enough balls to go around. They draft Marcus Williams and everyone gets new Apple laptops. Sho’ nuff.

8. Houston – Redick gets picked here and becomes boys with Paul Wall and gets a grill. Wall’s next album called DUI’s and Poetry. Houston = complacency. Sounds like a perfect fit for young JJ.

9. Golden State - Tyrus Thomas continues to slip, just for you point23. GS rejoices, grabs Gay with the number 9 pick. He fits in perfectly, actually he doesn’t but know one thought that he would be here at 9. They take him because he’s the best available and trade who ever is playing his position, I think Mike Pietrus for a center. Next.

10. Seattle – Wanted Sheldon, shame they didn’t get him. He would be playing in obscurity up there and I wouldn’t have to see his face ever again. Don’t be surprised to see either Rashard Lewis or Ray Allen moved on draft night or shortly there after. The Sonics are in rebuilding mode, they draft Ced Simmons to play alongside Collison. Ask me if I care.

11. Orlando – Patrick O’Bryant, Dwight Howard is a man and will show him the ropes and serve him some humble pie. I would love to go to the club with Darko, Howard and O’Bryant. It would be interesting to rank the teams that you would like to go to the club with in the NBA, you get three players and $5,000. What team would you have the most fun with. If you don’t do it point23, I will. That’s how bored I am.

12. OC Hornets – Ronnie Brewer.

13. Philly – Rowdy Rodney Carney. Please trade Iverson to the Hawks or the Celtics or the Bulls or Minnesota.

14. Utah - Saer Sene. Chad Ford and Andy Katz are both high on him. Upside, check. Name you can’t pronounce, check. Ladies and gentleman meet this years Desagana Diop. In four years he’ll look great starting at Center for the Heat. From Provo to South Beach, you can’t beat it.

15. OC Hornets – Hilton Armstrong, I like this pick, they are building a nice young team.
16. Bulls – Shannon Brown. They just keep stockpiling more young talent.
17. Pacers – Danny Granger last year. Kyle Lowry this year. Give them a couple years. They’ll be back.
18. Wizards – Thabo Sefolosha. Just another guy to be Gilbert’s man servant.
19. Kings – Sergio “Spanish Chocolate” Rodriguez. Why not. He joins Artest on the crazy train. Nice back up to Bibby.
20. Knicks – HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHHAAHAHAHA. Don’t they have the second pick? No, you sure, you’re positive about this, well then, who? what? Oh, Isiah Thomas HAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Knicks take Rajon Rondo. They will put out a team of Point Guards next year. Look for them to go after Sam Cassell and Jason Terry in Free agency.

21. Suns – Some Foreign guy. I can’t go wrong here.
22. Nets – Mo Ager. He makes beats and balls.
23. Nets – Pittsnogle. He’ll fit in real well.
24. Grizzlies – Quincy Douby
25. Cavs – Jordan Far-mar. UC – LA. Lebron will be real happy about this.

26. Lakers – Mardy Collins. He fits perfect in the triangle. He won’t say a word when Mamba24 starts jacking again.
27. Suns – Already took a foreign guy. Now they take PJ Tucker. Good back up at the 3. Plus he fits the system because he can just roam.
28. Mavs – Joel Freeland. He’s from England. He’ll be staying there for at least 3 years.
29. Knicks – No HAHA’s this time, I promise. Josh Boone. Good one coach. Hope this helps you toward your one year goal. Me and point23 should run this team.

30. Blazers – Mike Gansey. Reshaping their image. Him, Morrison and Jack are the future.

Well that wraps up my first ever mock draft. I’ll be back in the comments later this week to sum up how teams did and how I did. For now, I’m out. Let me know what you think.


Of course something had to go wrong.

Tyrus Thomas goes at 13 to Philly, which bumps Carney to the Suns at 21. Sorry Memphis fans

(As I throw my TV through a window)
"I knew I should have proofread this."

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Two Random Baseball Thoughts. This Probably Isn't Worth Your Time.

I was just wondering...

Common situation: Runner on second, pitcher trying to hold him. The short stop and the second baseman take turns running back and forth, trying to keep the runner close, since a base hit likely scores him. But then the fielders can be caught out of position. Tricky situation.

So here's my solution: run the center fielder in and pick him off. Play your SS and 2B real far away, so the runner gets all confident, starting inching away, then footing away...bam! Center fielder out of no where. Can you imagine how stunned the runner would be? And the opposing bench would be so caught off guard, I don't even think they could warm him. What would they yell? "Look out! Here come's the center fielder!" Would you believe that if you were on second? I'd spend so much time thinking about, I'd be picked off in a heart beat.

(Also, why do they have to throw to the bag? Why can't they just throw it to the SS kinda far off the base, given that the runner is pretty far off, too? I guess it would give the runner time...I dunno, maybe that's not such a good idea. But that center fielder idea...I'm telling you, that's golden. You gotta save it for a special time, though. Like in Rookie of the Year when they pull the hidden ball trick. You just can't teach timing.)

Thought No. 2. Remember in Little League, if you had runners on the corners, you could steal second by basically walking there because if they threw down to second, the guy on third would easily score? Do they still do that in the majors? Is second base basically just guarenteed with runners on the corners? Just asking.

(Sidenote: The one trick there was when they guy took off for second, whip it to your short stop, who cuts off the throw and then throws home. Sadly, I fell for this. My coach screaming "GOOOO!" probably didn't help, but I was still DOA. I was out by about 15 feet. Pretty embarressing.)

That wasn't a bad way to waste three minutes, was it?

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