Monday, April 10, 2006

Phil wins. We grumble.

So Lefty won his second Masters. Congratulations, Phil. We guess.

For some reason - and honestly, we can't even articulate it - we just don't like the guy. Which is strange, because we were all about him winning his first major. But now that he's won a couple...well, not so much. We genuinely can't figure out why we aren't feeling him anymore, but somewhere between his first Jacket and his second, we fell off the Lefty Bandwagon. Har
d, too.

Maybe it's the man boobs.

Maybe it's the mullet he's trying to grow.

Maybe it was that gawd
awful, some-one-save-him-from-himself, I-can't-believe-I-was-cheering-for-someone-who-did-that leap after he won the Masters in '04.

Maybe it was him wearing the Green Jacket for an absurdly long time after the win (Yea, Phil, we got it. You won. After
48 tries. Now take the damn jacket off).

Maybe it's that his wife is so out of his league, it makes us want to ram a spoon in our eyes, Houston-style, out of petty jealousy.

Maybe it's our general despise of dynasties, or anything even remotely trying to approach that (although we were cheering for Tiger, hard core. Someone get us to a shrink).

Maybe we are buying into the rumors that most of the players on tour can't stand the guy. (Or maybe we just love the alleged nickname his peers have given him: FIGJAM - Fuck I'm Good. Just Ask Me.)


Maybe its the cumulative effect. Who knows? All we know is, our Sunday was a little less enjoyable because Lefty got to rock The Jacket for the second time in three years. And we really have no good reason not to to like him.

You know what? On second thought...yea, it's definetly the man boobs.

And please, please, please don't let "Mickel-Slam" enter the lexicon. We cannot and will not deal with such a term. That will top "paralysis by analysis" and "upside" as the single word in sports that just causes immediate cringing.




Why is Lefty so annoying?
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2 comments so far. Might as well add your own.:

rockchalkin said...

Yeah, we don't give a damn about Hefty (gotta love Rome's nicknames) plus what the hell is Bearing Point? It doesn't even come close to touching Retief's Grey Goose sponsorship.

thebabysister said...

you're a pretty funny kid