Well, at least we aren't all tied anymore. Here's the standing heading into Week Ten:
Point 23: 23-36-4
Zero: 27-37-4
Mr Em: 27-37-4
Kilcs: 26-38-4
Onto the picks...
Kansas City (-1.0) at Miami
Point23: Kansas City. The Trent Green Corollary is just too powerful. See ya in the Super Bowl, Houston.
Zero: KC. The Dolphins played well but Larry Johnson isn’t Thomas Jones and Damon Huard is at least consistently serviceable, eeeehh hmmm. Suck it Rex.
Mister Em: Dolphins. This game will be put in the hands of Damon Huard, whoages ago believe it or not, backed up Marino. Huard is good enough to reallytake advantage of teams that can't stop run because it opens up things inthe passing game, but he'll struggle against a team like Miami who willsomewhat contain Larry Johnson and force Kansas City to make plays in thepassing game. Miami will pound the ball with Ronnie Brown, and rely on theirdefense to win a close one at Dolphin Stadium. With all that said, gimme thepoint!
Kilcs: Miami. Here's my strategy for this week. Pick the opposite of what I convince myself is gonna happen. Vegas is so smart and they prey on people like us who think we know what we're tlaking about because one team played bad last week or the other has a rookie QB or whatever. They know what we know and use it against us. I think KC is gonna win this game, but Vegas knows better.
Houston at Jacksonville (-10.5)
Point 23: The Trent Green Corollary is just too powerful. See ya in the Super Bowl, Kansas City.
Zero: Jackonsville. No seriously Rex, suck it.
Mister Em: Jaguars. Garrard's a solid player, and he'll win the Jaguars alot of games this season if he continues to start, but he's not taking thisteam to the Super Bowl. Jaguars are hot. Houston, you have a problem.
Kilcs : Houston. Jacksonville has been playing real well with Garrard at the helm. You would think that Jacksonville, trying to solidify a playoff spot will be firing on all cylinders and taking advantage of the Texans being the Texans.
San Diego (-1.0) at Cincinnati
Point 23: San Diego. Cincinnati is in the midst of imploding. There's just too much bad stuff going on there. I can't believe the frickin' Ravens are running away with this division.
Zero: San Diego, I think it means whale’s vagina. Wouldn’t it be funny if ocho-cinco had that on his jersey this week. The Bungals just aren’t getting it done this year.
Mister Em: Bengals. Give me the point! because 1. at Cincy and 2. it's amust-win game for them.
Kilcs: Cincy. Ladanian Tomlinson is hte best player in the NFL not named Peyton Manning. HE scores more TDs than everyone else, but he isn't doing it Jerome Bettis style, he's busting off 30 yard scores and making moves and dominating games. Cincy's run defense is suspect. Cincy.
Baltimore (-7.0) at Tennessee
Point 23: Baltimore. In a route, too. The Ravens have several things going for them: the best lucky streak since Ferris Buehler decided to skip school, Brian Billick's ego is growing exponentially, and Ray Lewis thinks that racists locked the door on Steve McNair in Tennessee (and then those same racists went and drafted Vince Young ahead of the poster child for the white race, Matt Leinart). I love how Ray Lewis can just make up racist allegations and no one bats an eye. Whatever; he'll play out of his mind. This could be a shutout.
Zero: Ravens. Vince Young meet Ray Ray. And I think the Ravens get the most bullshit points on defense, but every week they get them so I guess it’s a little more than luck.
Mister Em: Titans. Man Law: Do not bet against a home team getting 7+POINTS!!!!!!!!!!!
Kilcs: Tennessee. Baltimore'sa way better team than Tennessee is and Tennessee was exposed last week. Confuse Vince Young, make him beat you with his arm and he won't. Baltimore's defense is one of hte best in the league even with the status of Ed Reed and Ray Lewis up in the air.
Cleveland at Atlanta (-7.0 )
Point 23: Atlanta. I want to believe in Michael Vick. Make me believe, Mike, make me believe.
Zero: Atlanta. Mike Vick returns to form as serviceable Mike Vick, not I missed my herpes meds Mike Vick. I hope that Charlie Frye takes a page out of LBJ23’s book and throws a pick with 1:00 left in a seven point game and walks directly to the locker room.
Mister Em: Falcons. If the Browns keep playin' like this they're gonna turninto Ravens again.
Kilcs: Cleveland. Atlanta is very good, way better than what we saw last week against Detroit. Mike Vick will show up and be the Mike Vick that everyone is afraid he might be for the rest of his career and Cleveland's defense will continue its impressive ineptitude. Cleveland.
Buffalo at Indianapolis (-12.5)
Point 23: Buffalo. I don't think indy has been covered one of these huge spreads all season, but people must still be picking them to cover, because Vegas won't stop posting them. With that historically atrocious run D and no real running threat, Indy just can't blow teams out. And London Fletcher-Baker will have a huge day.
Zero: Buffalo. This will be a ten point game. Why? I don’t know. Little bit of a let down week for the Colts after the big W last week. Plus its about time for Payton to only throw for about 220, 2 touches and 2 picks. Both touches of course to Reginald Wayne.
Mister Em: Colts. Willis McGahee is out, which negates the only advantagethey had over the Colts, which was running the football. Peyton Manning isamazing, it's so incredible when he throws an incompletion.
Kilcs: Buffalo. Indy at home against Buffalo will put up 35 points at least, right? And JP Losman playing from behind seems to spell interceptions for me. No McGahee either. And the Colts are one of the best regular season teams ever. 22-2 their last 24 regular season games or something, that's off the top of my head, it might be better.
Washington at Philadelphia (-7.0)
Point 23: Philly. Coming off a bye week? After all those close losses? Against an overrated washington secondary that let Byron Leftwich throw all over it? Donnie Mac is ' bout to go off. If he's done one thing his whole career, its bounce back. He'll bounce back this week.
Zero: Redskins. This would be a great week for Clinton Portis to pull out another character. Like say maybe, Rufus Merriweather, newly elected Senator that wants to be a special advisor to Portis in his spare time. Donovan F. needs to get his head out of his ass too.
Mister Em: Eagles. Andy Reid has never lost after the bye week with theEagles. And that has nothing to do with covering but it's a step in theright direction.
Kilcs: Washington. Washington just came off a huge win last week, but Joe Gibbs doesn't care. He's been watching Tony Stweart make left turns better than anyone else and wants to get back in that action. He was so emotionless after one of the craziest finishes I've ever seen. He's done. They're done. And Donnie McNabb @ home after laying an egg last time against Jax.
Green Bay at Minnesota (-5.5)
Point 23: Green Bay. For some reason, I find myself cheering for the Pack. Don't know why. Maybe it's Greg Jennings, maybe it's Favre's salt-and-pepper beard.
Zero: Sex Boat. Steve Hutchinson has really made the difference. Poison pill be damned.
Mister Em: Vikings. That hot girl on "The Fantasy Show" with the implants said the Packers will make a run at the playoffs. Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat? Mewelde Moore will find the endzone in this game and Chester Taylor will run for 100 yards.
Kilcs: Minnesota. They've not played wlell the last two weeks, including an embarassing performance against the 49ers. This is really a nothing game. Neither of these teams matter at all. So I don't really care, but I think I would pick GB normally, so I'm going Minnesota this week.
New York Jets at New England (-10.5)
Point 23: New England. I think Belichik hates Mangina and is mad his son is smoking pot. I think he takes it out on the Jets. And whatever happened to Jericho Cotchery. I was deciding who to add to my fantasy team this season, and I picked Marques Colston over Cotchery - barely. Good move by me. I still suck, but it was a good move.
Zero: Pats. Well, the newly acquired Thomas V. Brady will bounce back with huuuuuge numbers this week. Plus the 2 headed monster of a RB will get them to the goal line everytime and then Brady will either throw it to one of this 6 TE’s or Mike Vrabel.
Mister Em: Patriots. New England hasn't lost back-to-back games since 2001(Mike and Tommy, just to remind you that was the year I said they'd make itto the Super Bowl over the Steelers and you said 0.0 percent chance). 2 more reasons: at New England, and Tom Brady is jacked.
Kilcs: Jets. New England is one of the best teams in the league. They've lost to Indy and Denver. They don't lose back to back games, esp at home. Plus the Hooded One is pissed at Mangina. Real pissed. He's gonna give it to him. Hard. Jets.
San Francisco at Detroit (-6.0)
Point 23: Santa Clara. That Detroit offense is kinda scary, but I've been picking the Niners irrationally all season. Why stop now?
Zero: SF. They have to win again sometime right. And they should go back to the old jerseys like they wore last week, those were always classics. Santa Clara what?
Mister Em: Lions. Roar! I just wanted to put "Roar" and leave it at that,but let's talk about something: 49ers throwback uniforms. They wore themlast week and of course they played awesome and won. Only the powder bluesof San Diego are better. John York has ruined this team and I guarantee he'sthe uniform picker guy.
Kilcs: San Francisco. Detroit just beat Atlanta, surely they can beat San Francisco by a TD, right? SF is horrible, they haven't played well for a while and Martz offense is clicking and Roy Williams is suddenly maybe the best receiver in the NFL (Marvin Harrsion for my $).
Denver (-9.5) at Oakland
Point 23: Last time they played, Denver kept it close. I see them doing the same thing again, which amazed me, considering how much Shanahan hates them. You think he'd blow them out, just for bitterness's sake. I guess that is the power of Jake Plummer.
Zero: Denver. I think Oakland blows a lot more than they showed the past couple weeks. Gimme Jay Cutler, he would make this team more exciting, I just don’t like Plummer.
Mister Em: Raiders. If Walters doesn't act like a little you know what Iactually like Oakland in this game. Doesn't he just remind you of a bleepinbleep. Raiders have a playoff defense and they played the Broncos toughearlier this year at Mile High, losing 13-3. If Oakland upgrades their linein the off-season (it's really surprising to me that their line is THAT badwith two hall of fame offensive lineman as coaches in Art Shell and Jackie"don't you dare call me AC" Slater) they could be a .500 team next year.
Kilcs : Oakland. The Raiders are so bad. A. Walter makes Raiders fans long for Aaron Brooks. Their D has played alright, but Denver has that running game that's great and Javon Walker's come back witha vengence and that play action game that they have is frightening.
New Orleans at Pittsburgh (-4.5)
Point 23: Is Myrone Cope setting these lines? How they hell is Pittsburgh favored? What do they have to do for people to realize they suck, lose to the Raiders?
Zero: NO. I can’t trust this Stiller team. I would never bet on them. They turn it over sooo much and you just don’t know what team is gonna show up. Kinda like the Heat. I take it they are only favored because they are at home.
Mister Em: Steelers. I just talked to Cowher's brother, Doug, on the phone. Sounds pretty upbeat.
Kilcs: Pittsburgh. I don't understand it. The Steelers are supposed to be good, but they aren't. They turn the ball over, they don't stop people on 3rd downs, they turn the ball over, they don't establish the running game the way that they should, they turn the ball over and they get burnt. New Orleans is a really good team and Pittsburgh hasn't beat a really good team, much the less by 5.
St. Louis at Seattle (-3.0)
Point 23: Seattle. Seneca Wallace and Mo Mo Morris rule.
Zero: St. Louis bounces back and stays in the play-off hunt. Seneca Wallace and Mo-Bam Morris can’t get it done this week. Sorry for these shits being so short, I haven’t had a chance to watch too much football lately and I apologize.
Mister Em: Rams. This is another one of those fantasy picks. I have Wilkins,my opponnent has Bulger and Holt, 9-0 Rams.
Kilcs: Seattle. No Hasslebeck, no Alexander? I'll take my chances with Bulger and Jackson and Holt. (Wow 3 great fantasy players, which is what people follow most maybe, I bet people bet on the Rams way more than they should). Seneca Fallacy is exposed.
Dallas (-7.0) at Arizona
Point 23: Arizona. Matt Leinart owns Tony Homo. Plus, he went on a "date" with Jessica Simpson. If that's not the touch of death, I don't know what is. Romo will be writing crappy loves songs in a month.
Zero: Dallas. They beat the Suns the other night, the Cards have too many ouchies on D too.
Mister Em: Cardinals. See: Man Law.
Kilcs: Arizona. I still think Dallas is a way better team with Romo than with Bledsoe. TO dropped a ball last week that would have put the game away. The handled the Panthers, who are a very good team, on the road. Arizona just isn't that good and Edge James, man what happened to him? ACL injuries are crazy. Before he got hurt back in like 2000, he was freaking unbelievable. He had a few good years since then but a shell still, and now he's a shell of the shell.
Chicago at NY Giants (Even)
Point 23: Chicago. There's so many players out, I don't even know what to make of this game. Tiki annoys me to no end, so I'll say the bears. And yes, Grossman can suck it.
Zero: Giants. Did I mention Rex Grossman can suck it?
Mister Em: Bears. Giants are banged up at a number of positions, mostnotably at wide receiver with Toomer and Plax hurt. You have to be at fullstrength against a physical team like the Bears. Watching one your fantasyplayers play the Bears is scarier than Nightmare on Elm Street. You don'teven want your guy to score, you just want him to get outta there without abroken torso.
Kilcs: Chi-Town. Mark it down.
Tampa Bay at Carolina (-9.5)
Point 23: Tampa Bay. Gruden will keep it close. And the chances of me watching Studio 60 instead of this game is about 1:1.
Zero: Panthers. Steve Smith shows the entire nation who the best receiver in the L is. My guess is Mike Jordan in the booth.
Mister Em: Panthers. Nothing beats watching football and Child's Play at the same time. Here's to hoping this week's MNF game is as good as last week's!
Kilcs: Carolina. My love for Carolina trumps all. Steve Smith for life.
