Monday, February 28, 2005

Please Go Away. Now.

I really don't like Mike Patrick. Not too many people realize this, but he is a worse Duke-slurper than the aptly named Dookie V.

It's hard to notice at first, because Vitale is so over the top that he is basically doing an impersonation of himself the whole time, but if you really pay attention, you notice than Patrick does nothing to stop Vitale from proclaiming Dook the reason behind all things sacred and in fact he actually promotes it.

He will praise anything Duke does, regardless of importance or circumstance. Dive on the floor up 30? Only a Dukie would have such heart. Take a charge down 30? Only Duke would continue to play with such vigor in so dire circumstances. Then he will make excuses everytime Duke screws up - it has been a pure joy hearing him search for reasons why Greg Paulus just dribble off his knee for the third time this half. And then he will slyly underhand anything Duke's opponent does. By the end of the game, he has ripped off his shirt to reveal a huge Duke-blue D painted on his chest and starts jumping in rhythm with the Cameron Crazies. It's pretty unbearable.

But he isn't the only announcer I can't stand. Paul McGuire comes to mind. ABC was so sick of him they stuck him in a crane and they still couldn't get rid of him. Or what about Skip Bayless? The man hates everyone and everything. Why so angry Skip?

But hey, it isn't just the media. Athletes are guilty, too. T.O. is a no brainer; but sly little pricks like Bruce Bowen aren't to be forgotten, either.

Once the names started piling up, I decided it was time to make a list of people who, for one reason or another, would probably make the world a better place if they would just go away. Now. Hence, the Please Go Away. Now List. We're very polite about it, which is all you can really ask for, I think.

So if you've got someone to add to the list - and really, who doesn't have at least ten - just post 'em here and I'll make sure they take their rightful place in the sidebar.

Oh, and Barbaro, too. I hate that damn horse.

2 comments so far. Might as well add your own.:

Lily said...

Dugly, I mean Dudly from BC.

Anonymous said...

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