Monday, April 10, 2006

A Tradition Unlike Any Other

The Masters has possibly one of the coolest slogan's in sports - "A tradition unlike any other." It's simple, it's powerful, it's inviting, and it's damn-near intimidating. Plus, it's better than the slogan for the NBA Finals: "We can't believe how long it took to get to this point, either. Was that first round series between the 4 and 5 seeds going seven games really necessary? Frankly, we're tired. Let's hope for some close games, but perhaps a sweep." Just a bit on the lengthy side, we think.

But the Masters really does have a tradition unlike any other. The winner gets his Green Jacket (one of the most badass pieces of clothing in sports, by the way, right up there with NBA players wearing tights, the Laker's title jackets and the Mavericks shiny uniforms) placed on him by last year's winner.

Now, this might get taken for granted just a little bit. Imagine if this was how champs were crowned in every other sport? Could you see Rasheed Wallace handing a trophy to Bruce Bowen? Hell no. The Patriots showing up in Indianapolis to give the Lombardi to the Steelers? The White Sox being crowned by the Red Sox? Whoever won the NHL last year being given the trophy by whoever won it the year before (if they even had a season)?

Take it a little further, to the divisional level. How about Peyton giving the AFC trophy to Tom Brady, or Jonny Damon being handed some hardware by Curt Shilling? While we're at it, let's have the Pacers presents the Pistons with a trophy any time they play eachother in the playoffs.

Can you imagine that happening? Of course not. It would be so incredibly akward, and there is an above average chance a fight would break out. At the very least, we'd get some spirited trash talk. The trophy might even get smashed. Who knows? The possibilities are endless.

Which is exactly why it needs to happen. We vote for The Masters tradition to no longer be unlike any other - we want it for all sports! Winner take all, then humiliate whoever won it before you!

Just look at the fake smile on Tiger's face in the picture (above). He's thinking to himself, "You little mulleted bastard. You know I'm better than you, right? You do know I could kick your ass, and my nanny is hotter than your wife, right? You're aware of this? You're aware that if this wasn't in public, I would be giving your man boobs the biggest titty twister ever, right? K, just makin sure."

Just think: if Tiger can work up that kind of animosity, can you imagine 'Sheed?

1 comments so far. Might as well add your own.:

Jonny said...

this is a little like an idea i heard about a year ago. Do you remember sheed carrying a makeshift wrestling title belt named roscoe to commemorate their NBA title? Well what if he had to hand it over to tim duncan in a Hulk Hogan/ Ultimate Warrior style ceremony after the clincher....now that would be classic