Friday, May 12, 2006

Who is Voting for the MVP?

Who votes for the NBA MVP award? Is there a list somewhere? Is it made public? What qualificiations do you need - any? Because I am fairly certain there are more than a few idiots voting this season. I think I even had proof.

Did you kno that not one player was on every ballot this year? Not one. How can this be? Is there an acceptable answer other than "several morons who did not watch basketball this year were given ballots and allowed to vote?"

Its perfectly understandable that the MVP wouldn't be unanimous, especially this season. But there are five places - five! - on that ballot. Surely everyone can agree that Steve Nash should be in the top 5? LeBron? Kobe? And its even more ridiculous when there were votes cast for Allen Iverson and Shawn Marion - Marion wasn't even the best player on his team!

This just really bugs me. Keeping in mind that 125 people were told to vote, look at the leading vote getters, in terms of total votes, regardless of place:

  • Steve Nash - 123 total votes
  • LeBron James - 120
  • Dirk Nowitzki - 114
  • Kobe Bryant - 103
Now...this is just baflfing to me. So there are two people out there who honestly feel Steve Nash was not one of the five most valuable players in the league this season. Really? As crazy as that is...the madness increases the farther down the list you go. Five people think LeBron wasn't in the top 5? Jaw dropping. Eleven people think Dirk wasn't one of the 5 best? Irrational. But wait...22 people (22!!!) thought Kobe wasn't in the top 5. If someone were to say that to you in person, you would be well within your rights to kick them in the shins. If someone actually said that to you, you couldn't even argue with them. That is turn-around-and-walk-away stupid.

Which is why these votes need to be made public. I assume most of these people are members of the media, right? So shouldn't each of them be forced to list their top 5 and then write a column explaining why the hell they thought Shawn Marion was better than LeBron James this season? Or why Allen Iverson was more valuable than Steve Nash? (To be fair, whoever game Marion and Iverson votes could also have voted for Nash, LeBron, Dirk and Kobe...but I'm doubting it.) This is their jobs - to watch basketball and then write intelligent, well thought out pieces about what they watched. Clearly, there are at least 22 people - and probably more - not doing thier jobs.

And just to be safe, let's make everything public. Anytime there is a vote, print it. MVPs, NCAA hoops and football rankings, the March Madness selection process, Heisman voting - everything. Just let us know. If there are idiots out there, we should at least be allowed to know who they are.

Read the Rest After the Jump...

Tuesday, May 09, 2006

Figured I'd Get Around To It Eventually...

After going 6-for-8 on first round predictions - in which every single top seed advanced, expcet the Nuggets, who shouldn't have been a high seed, anyways - I figured I needed a little help in making my Round 2 predictions. Not too much, though - just a game. So now that all four series have played one time, here goes...

In order of easiest to predict to toughest...

Pistons vs. Cavs. After that game one debacle, its painfully obvious the different classes the Cavs and the Pistons are in - kinda like in third grade how there was always that little table of the "advanced" kids reading their books with "hard covers" and then the rest of us drooling idiots trying to color inside the lines. Man, I hated that table. Buts that's the Pistons. Excluding LeBron, they are superior in basically every meaningful facet of the game: defense, rebounding, passing, shooting, execution, cohesiveness...and plenty more, I'm sure. The LeBron Factor is good for one game, maybe two (hey, if the Bucks can pull of a W, I think Bron Bron can snag at least one at the Q). Although the Pistons are pretty upset over being relagated to NBATV for three games (Why, though? They were playing the Bucks. And when they watch game film of themselves, are they ever jumping up and down? Chauncey looks pretty sleepy in the commercial where he's watching film.) But still, they're pissed, so they could turn this into a statement series.
The call: Pistons in 5.

(OK, screw that "easiest to hardest" thing. The next three series could go either way...)

Heat vs. Nets. In my humble opinion, Game 1 was an anomoly, for a few reasons: 1) The Nets aren't going to continue shooting like that. 2) The Heat will stop being idiots and play hard. As much as you can talk about strategy and whatnot, it comes down to one thing with the Heat: do they play hard? When they give their top effort, they are very, very good, but they don't always do that, probably because their alleged leader will "make his free throws when they matter" (hey, Shaq? They always matter.) and will "decide when he wants to get mean." I think Game 2 sounds like a good time to start. Flip the switch, Big Daddy.

Plus, why are the Heat doubling ball screens with Shaq? Why not go under every screen? Make Carter, Jefferson, Kidd shoot over screens? The Heat perimeter is full of more holes than a pound of Swiss cheese (there's my best Rick Reilly impression), so why not play off them and force them to shoot? If the Nets are going to consistantly drill long range shots, you aren't going to win anyways. So make 'em shoot, Miami, and sure up that perimeter D, and take your chances. Reilly should be able to figure this out, although he seems to just be chilling during games and then all depressed after them, so who knows.
The call: Heat in 6.

Suns vs. Clippers. First and foremost, thank God the "hallway series" never happened. That's the one and only time that monstrosity is ever getting mentioned.

I think I'm a little dissapointed in Sam I Am. Kenny had it right on TNT: he let the Clips fall for the bait. The Clippers were running at weird times, forcing tempo, taking pull up jumpers without numbers...it was just, um...disconcerting. I think they'll figure it out. Plus, if Kwame Brown was able to eat these guys up inside, what can Elton Brand do? Even Kaman? Elton's 40 point game should be a good indicator. Plus, when you throw the ball inside, it forces you to be patient on offense. You put it inside, wait for the double team, play of that...maybe you end up taking a jumper, but it's going to be an open one, and it's going to be later in the shotclock. Which is how you beat the Suns. And the Clippers are going to have 2 very good guards on the court at all times, which means the MVP is going to have to play defense at all times for the first time this playoffs (thank you very much, Smush).

But as much as it is about taking advantage of the Suns lack of D, it's more about stopping the Suns on offense. You are gonna get your points. You need to make sure the Suns don't get yours...and you do that by controlling tempo. By being patient on offense, you slow tempo. Make Phoenix score in the halfcourt. They are still very, very good at that...but the opportunities are limited. The Suns want more attempts. Limit those attempts, and you've won yourself a ball game.

As long as the Clips stop falling for the bait, this series is theirs; they clearly have a superior, deeper team. During stretches last night, when the Clips didn't fall for it, they led. But that bait is so tantalizing. You don't think that carton of milk looked good at first to Ron Burgundy? And we all know how that worked out..."milk was a bad choice." Don't drink the milk, Clippers, and you'll be fine.
The call: Clips in 6.

Spurs vs. Mavs. There is no logic here. None at all. But I think this is Dirk's coming out party. And he really didn't have an exceptional game one...and Bowen pretty much locked him up on that last shot...and he kinda flipped out to the press...I dunno. Just a hunch. Pretty insightful analysis, eh?

This is probably just because I hate the Spurs. Well, mainly Manu. Freakin' balding flopper, I can't stand him. And Bowen is dirty as hell, putting his feet underneath jump shooters...that's so damn wrong, I can't even talk rationally about it. And only Tony Parker could make me hate some one like Eva Longoria. Thanks, "TP" (as in, "old man johnson called the cops on us for playing football in the street, lets "tp" his house.) Duncan and Horry are OK, I guess...but they don't really make me like the Spurs, just not hate them any more than I already do. The sooner they are out of the playoffs, the better. Let's go Mavs!
The call: Mavs in 6.

Read the Rest After the Jump...

"The Greatest First Round Ever" Recap.

Odds and ends from the Greatest First Round Ever...

- Aren't you glad the first round is a best of seven format? I am.

- If I was Boris Diaw, I would switch my first and last names. Doesn't "Diaw Boris" sound much cooler, not to mention about ten times tougher? I think he'd average 3 more rebounds and 1 more block per game just by doing this. And his first name wouldn't be "Boris." It's a win-win.


- I am officially off the Manu Ginobili bandwagon. I still had a pinky toe on just cuz I liked when Barkley yelled "GINOBILI!" but enough is enough.
He is Vlade Divac's little brother. The flopping is borderline ridiculous; you get anywhere near him, and he goes down like a sniper's bullet just shredded his hammy. Next time he does this, someone run at him with a yellow card. Please. (Also, I'm sick of looking at his bald spot. He looks like Freddie Prinze Jr.'s dad.)

- The Grizzlies will never win a playoff game. Ever. And you know why? Mike Fratello's hair. We all know that isn't your real hair color, Mike. Listen...I have no problem with a guy getting up in his year's and not wanting to show his grays. Fine. But...that's a little excessive, no? Just trick us a little bit; at least give us the illusion that that may be your real hair color. Kinda like seeing the tissue paper sticking out of the bra. (Unbelieveably, Fratello is only second on the That's Not Your Real Hair Color List. No one was ever, ever born anywhere on this earth with hair the color that Doug Collins is currently sporting. No one.)


- Too bad Michael Redd didn't sign with the Cavs in the offseason. Really.


- Why does Smush Parker have that line shaved down the middle of his head? It looks like the stripe on a football helmet. He lives in L.A. for God's sake; couldn't someone tell him he isn't on the set of Boys 'n da Hood?


- Does it seem like Steve Nash lost the ball an unnatural amount of time? Have I just not seen him play enough? Not even on those memorable traps in the corner...just in general - little bobbles here, a fumble there. Seems like something to be concerned about, maybe.


- While the Kobe vs. LeBron debate rages on, maybe an even more important debate surrounding those two should start: Who's supporting cast is worse? I'm going to give a slight -
slight - nod to the Cavs, because the Lakers have another bonafide player on their team in Odom. Cleveland's second best player is..who, exactly? Hughes? Z? I don't know...worth exploring though, and I'm not sold either way. Convince me.

- Best pass of the first round, of the top of my head: Shaun Livingston's no look, lefthanded, underhand flip through traffic against the Nugs. When it's all said and done, his name will be up there with LeBron, Kobe, Wade, Melo, and all the other defining players of this era. If he plays one, maybe two more years under Cassell and then takes over that team...look out. Is there a more promising budding nucleus than him and Brand? Maybe the Baby Bulls, maybe what the Bucks are trying to put together...but for my money, I'm going with Dr. Livingston.

- Heard Kenny say something interesting on TNT after the Bucks blew a close, late game against the Pistons. "The Pistons are comfortable in a close game late." Any other team feel that way? The Spurs perhaps. But that's the list. And that's probably why those two are going to be playing in the Finals.

- I got nuthin' on Pacers/Nets since it was always relegated to NBATV - and rightly so. Seems like Jermaine O'Neal is really good at spinning baselines and dunking with his left hand. Must have done that at least twice every game. I'd sit on that if I was guarding him.

- LeBron telling Gilbert that he better make his FTs or the game was over...wow. I mean, he probably shouldn't have touched him, but to make that kind of statement -
when you are losing - is just incredible. Imagine the pressure LeBron put on himself? I think that had to freak Gilbert out more than anything. How could anyone be that confident? And especially since he didn't end up taking the GW himself? Unreal. If I was Gilbert, I woulda missed, too. Probably an airball. To the left. And short. And then peed myself. A lot.

- And if LeBron had done that to someone he didn't know, then it might have been out of line. But Gilbert was in the Cavs' locker room after Game 5, joking around and saying that since he didn't get to be Mr. Game 5, he would have to be Mr. Game 6. So it's just a little gamesmanship. Some freakin' ballsy gamesmanship, but gamesmanship nonetheless.


- Not to sound like Seinfeld here, but
what's the deeeeaal with players being so chummy after games? This is the playoffs, isn't it? And I understand they all know eachother and they played AAU ball together and All-Star teams and whatnot...but its the playoffs! Jason Kidd and Anthony Johnson hugging and smiling after the Nets bounced the Pacers; players going out to dinner with eachother in between games, Arenas in the Cavs freakin' locker room? I don't know..something just seems wrong there.

- Call their name before throwing them a pass: Anderson Varejeo and Kwame Brown. Those two are where assists go to die.


- This has been bothering me: Simmons rips the Heat fans for wearing white t-shirts, then lauds the Clip fans for wearing red ones? Plus, the Clippers fans did the wave. During a playoff game. No explanation needed. Those in glass houses shouldn't...ah, I forget the saying, but that's a little hypocritical, methinks.

- Things I will never get sick of: Ben Gordon's tear drop runners...LeBron throwing chalk in the air...Steve Nash running a pick and roll...Steve Nash's fake drive, pull up for a J move...Dwyane Wade create in mid-air...Dirk's stroke (not a classic beauty, but still can't take my eyes off it - it's the Angelina Jolie of jumpshots)...Tayshaun Prince chase someone down and swat their layup to halfcourt while the shooter stands there with a "where they hell did
he come from?" look on his face...being scared to death whenever Kobe has the ball...watching Gilbert flick on shots from 40 feet like he's at the free throw line...watching Jason Kidd place passes perfectly...watching Vince Carter get his ass put on the floor...

- The All-First Round Team. Unbelievably, two players from losing squads make the team:

  • Steve Nash, PHX
  • Kobe Bryant, LAL
  • Gilbert Arenas, WAS
  • LeBron James, CLE
  • Dirk Nowitzki, DAL
Honorable mention: Bonzi Wells...Rip Hamilton...TJ Ford...Dwyane Wade...Kirk Hinrich...Andres Nocioni...Jason Kidd (1o assists per)...Elton Brand...Raja Bell.

Coach of the First Round? Pop, solely for that sweet baseline pass play he drew up in Game 2 of the Kings series. It was so pretty.


Anything memorable I forgot?

Read the Rest After the Jump...

Monday, May 08, 2006

Fake Playoffs: The Quarter Finals.

Time for Round 2 of the Fake Playoffs. (The Fake Playoffs are matchups based on the premis that there is no divisions or conference in basketball. Just seed everyone one through sixteen, they giddy up!)

Something interesting to only me, probably, and frankly, I have no idea how this happened: Seven of the teams that are stil alive in the real playoffs are alive in the Fake Playoffs as well. The lone exception: the Lakers are into Round 2 of the Fake Playoffs (must not have been a 7 game series. Ba-zing!). The team that is out: the Nets, who, ironically enough, lost to the Lakers. OK, enough of that - onto the matchups!

(1) Pistons
vs.
(9) Clippers

Hell of a second round matchup, no? This has a legit chance of being a Finals matchup in the "real" playoffs.


Free polls from Pollhost.com
Who will advance: Pistons or Clippers?
Detroit Pistons L.A. Clippers

(4) Suns
vs.
(5) Heat

A slow, grind it out, typical playoff series. Both teams have excellent perimeter defenses - expect low point totals, but clinics on how to play D at the NBA level.


Who will advance: Suns or Heat?
Miami Heat
Phoenix Suns
Free polls from Pollhost.com


(3) Mavs
vs.
(6) Cavs

Nos. 2 and 3 in the MVP voting go head to head. If it comes down to better head coaches, Mike Brown is a lock. Wait - dumb looks on your face at all times is a bad thing? Oh. Better go with the other guy then.



Free polls from Pollhost.com
Who will advance: Mavs or Cavs?
Dallas Mavericks Cleveland LeBrons

(2) Spurs
vs.
(10) Lakers

Kobe is guarded by Bruce Bowen, somehow who "really makes him think out there." And doesn't clothesline him, either.


Who will advance: Lakers or Spurs?
San Antonio Spurs
L.A. Team Players
Free polls from Pollhost.com

Read the Rest After the Jump...

23 > 8 (and 24).

Well, you can stop the MJ comparisons now.

There is a ton of uncertainty surrounding Kobe after he took only three shots in the second half of the Lakers/Suns Game 7, but one thing is now abundantly clear. He's not the next Michael Jordan.

Anyone even vaguely familiar with basketball knows exactly what would have happened if that would have been MJ wearing that purple number 8 Friday night. MJ would have lit Raja Bell up for 55 and advanced his team to the playoffs, strategy be damned. He would have owned Raja Bell, to the point that it was better for the Suns that Raja not even be in the game. Even if Phil had MJ convinced he needed to involve his teammates, MJ would have scored his and found a way to get the W. Its as simple as that.

What was Kobe thinking, shooting only three times in the second half? Sure, he scored 23 in the first and all it got his team was a 15-point hole. But the main reason the Lakers were down by so many was because no one in a Laker uniform could throw in the ocean. (Well, that and that fact that their defense was biddy-league bad. I mean, the pick and roll D was pointless; whoever set the screen knew they were getting a layup. All they had to worry about was choosing between layup or dunk, because the help D was no where to be found. And Leondro Barbosa dribbled through the Laker defense without being even mildly challenged. If Smush Parker is on an NBA roster next season, consider me stunned.) What better time to start gunning than when everyone one of your teammates can't buy a bucket? Sometimes Plan A doesn't work. There is a reason for Plan B, yes?

And yea, I understand that the Lakers probably weren't going to win unless they got above average contributions from a number of people, and they weren't getting them. But it was the way Kobe went about not shooting that was troublesome. He almost looked disinterested, like it was a lost cause not worth his time or energy. Why not penetrate a little, get some teammates some easy buckets? Why not post up, force a double team and get some open looks from 3? Why not try to create some offense yourself? WHY NOT SHOOT OH, I DON'T KNOW, FOUR TIMES? For all intents and purposes, Kobe became a role guy, someone to reverse the ball: he wasn't even a threat. Total FGAs isn't the problem; the reason for the low FGAs is.

So Kobe isn't the next MJ. Big deal. He's not the greatest player ever to touch a ball - doesn't mean he still isn't great. But it makes you wonder what exactly motivates Kobe.

Kobe, at least to me, seems very sensitive. He has said nearly every time he's been asked that Raja Bell doesn't concern him. Kobe "has bigger fish to fry" and he "can score on Raja any times he wants" and he doesn's consider him in the same class as an Artest or a Bowen. But you know what? We know that, Kobe. Really we do. We heard you the first time - and every time after that. We know you can score whenever. We know you are better than Raja Bell. Just do it then, alright? You sound like someone who claims they are over an ex, but then won't stop talking about how much they hate them. If he's not big deal, why talk about him to such an extent? Thou protest a bit too much, Bean.

What about his Raja Bell comments? Calling him "this kid" and "maybe he wasn't hugged enough as a kid." What are you talking about? I get that you are trying to demean him, but resorting to calling out his family...um, necessary? Kobe's life was so hug filled, apparently, in between his pickup games on the streets of Philly, where, he delighted in telling us time and time again, he grew up and played in some brutal pickup games. The games were so brutal, apparently, that Raja's take down of Kobe was nothing, at least not to him. I just find myself wondering where Kobe found time for these games on the playground while being raised in Europe?

And his reaction to the chant from the Suns' crowd was even more telling. When the fan's started an impromptu "Kobe sucks!" chant, Kobe held up a cupped hand to his ear and made a frowning face, implying, "What? I can't hear you." But the message he sent was just the opposite. Everyone knew Kobe heard it loud and clear, and everyone saw just thow much it bothered him. When does a player ever acknowledge boos or negative chants? Ever? Why give the fans that kind of fire power?

Kobe just seems way to sensitive. Every little thing bothers him. And I don't know why this bothers me so much - maybe because of how damned good he is, and how much I want to like him, but just can't. I really do try to like him, and I think he's the best player on whatever court he steps on. But his sensitivy kills me. Its unbearable. And he's so contrived, I can't stand it.

Alright, that's it. That's the last thing I'm writing about Kobe Bean Bryant. Until next season, at least.

Read the Rest After the Jump...

Friday, May 05, 2006

Best of 7: Experts weigh in on the 'best first round ever'

From ESPN.com...

We asked our writers seven questions (and a bonus) about what many are calling the best first round in NBA playoff history:

1. Who is the defining player of the playoffs so far? Which player, other than Kobe Bryant and LeBron James, has been most compelling to you?

Chris Broussard: I think Kobe is clearly the defining player, just because of his incredible shift from gunner to facilitator. The most compelling player has been Bonzi Wells. Talk about being motivated in a contract year! Wells, a free agent this summer, has abused Bruce Bowen like no one alive ever has.

Ric Bucher: Defining player? Kwame Brown. Compelling? Bonzi Wells. The theme of these playoffs has been redemption. Complementary players dismissed or discounted have loomed large while the stars have canceled each other out. Wells, who was not even on the All-Star ballot, has exposed a weakness in the defending champions' arsenal and made good on his tantalizing talent.

John Hollinger: The defining player of the playoffs has definintely been LeBron James, just because he's been under such a microscope in his first playoffs and delivered so hugely. Other than Kobe and LeBron, I would say Dirk Nowitzki. He dominated the Memphis series and showed why he merited being in the MVP discussion.

Chris Sheridan: While the defining players have been Kobe and LeBron, the most compelling player has been Andres Nocioni of the Bulls. I've been covering him since '99, and I knew he was good. But not this good.

Marc Stein: It's been a first round of surprises and so I go with my biggest individual surprise: Luke Walton. He probably wouldn't start for any coach in the league besides Phil Jackson, but he's as important to what the Lakers are doing to control the tempo against Phoenix as Kobe or Lamar Odom. And he tied up Steve Nash in the most controversial play of the playoffs so far, setting up the wildest of numerous wild finishes. Luke is the poster boy for this script-shredding Round 1.

Point23: The most defining player - so far - has been Kobe, but jsut barely, over LeBron. The two most memorable plays so far this postseason both involve the soon-to-be No. 24: Kobe's game winner after the improbable jumpball, and Raja Bell laying him out. Plus, Kobe's willingness to change his entire philosophy is the storylines of the playoffs. But if the Lakers blow a 3-1 advantage - which they are dangerously close to doing - then most defining goes to LeBron. Two game winners and a triple-double in your playoff debut as a 21 year old? We' re all just witnesses - truly. As for most compelling - I'll take Dirk. Remember not so long ago when he was yeling at teammates at midcourt and his leadership was under fire? Not anymore. The Greatest German Ever (and not even grreatest baller ever - the greatest German, period. Can you think of a better one?) pulls off the only sweep off the first round and has his team playing better than anyone right now. Throw in the clutch three and the very real potential of winning an NBA championship, and it's a no brainer.

2. Which team has been the most pleasant surprise? Most disappointing?

Broussard: The most pleasant surprise has been Chicago, because with their lack of power inside you'd have thought the Bulls would be dead men walking against Shaquille O'Neal. The biggest disappointment has been Phoenix. To get pounded inside by the likes of Kwame Brown is just unacceptable.

Bucher: Pleasant surprise? Lakers. Watching any team make itself greater than the sum of its parts is always captivating. The Lakers have done that. Most disappointing? Nuggets. Denver, conversely, has disintegrated before our very eyes, shredding reputations and damaging careers in the stroke of a single series.

Hollinger: Most pleasant surprise has been the Lakers, because they're playing much better defensively than I thought they could. The most disappointing has to be Denver -- they had chemistry problems, took terrible shots and completely gave up in Game 5.

Sheridan: Pleasant surprise is the Clippers, even to those who missed out on the bandwagon when I started it. Most disappointing is the Grizz. Throw a couple of games late in the season if it'll get you the train wreck Nuggets in the first round. There is no chivalry in being 0-12 in the postseason.

Stein: I heard (and cracked) lots of jokes about Ron Artest coexisting with Bonzi Wells when the Artest trade went down. So I'd have to say Ron-Ron and Bonzi emerging as the leadership tag-team behind Sacramento's bid to stun San Antonio has to be the most pleasant surprise. Denver is the easy answer when it comes to disappointments, because the Nuggets didn't even show up for the playoffs, but Memphis extending its streak of playoff futility to 0-12 was just as tough to watch.

Point23: The most pleasant surprise has been Chicago. Has there been a more fun team to watch in the playoffs? Not with the Suns being slowed down, there hasn't. The Baby Bulls play a beautiful style of basketball - push the ball, drive and kick, knock down threes, get in the lane and find people. Plus, they completely exposed Miami's perimiter defense. How geeked are Kidd, Jefferson and Carter right now? I think Shaq just picked up his second foul thinking about Jason Williams or Gary Payton getting beat off the dribble. And no one was more dissapointig than the Nuggets - it wasn't even close. The whole K-Mart debacle was ugly, and Reggie Evans grabbed someone's cookies. Blow it up, Kiki.

3. Which series other than Lakers-Suns has been most enjoyable to watch?

Broussard: Cleveland-Washington has been a blast because it's LeBron's postseason coming-out party, and he's in a shootout with Gilbert Arenas.

Bucher: Bulls-Heat. The two teams have such contrasting styles and personalities.

Hollinger: Cavs-Wizards has been great, especially yesterday's Game 5, but the others were hardly chopped liver either. The LeBron vs. Gilbert shootouts have been reminiscent of Bird vs. Dominique.

Sheridan: Wizards-Cavs, cuz it's fun to see two neophytes kill each other to earn the right to be swept by the Pistons.

Stein: Spurs-Kings. It's more competitive than expected, it's given us multiple great finishes already and it's posing an interesting question to take into the next round: Has Sacramento exposed unforeseen vulnerability with San Antonio or merely sharpened the Spurs up for Dallas? I'm leaning toward the latter.

Point23: For drama's sake, nothing tops the Cavs/Zards. But no team so far has been as fun to watch as the Baby Bulls. Kirk Hinrich's quiet battle with Dwyane Wade has been intense (how many times has one of them stopped the other only to have the favor returned immediately?). And I could watch Ben Gordon shoot those tear drops in the lane all day. Have you seen how high they get? Then swish - pure.

4. What's the best coaching move you've seen? And worst?

Broussard: Phil Jackson has been spectacular. His ability to convince Kobe to share the rock and forego his attempts at scoring 50 is the best coaching move. The worst? D'Antoni's failure to adjust and find a way to run against L.A. (until Game 5).

Bucher: Best? Posting up Luke Walton, Lamar Odom and Kwame Brown. Or, basically, everyone except Kobe. The Lakers' floor balance and the Suns' energy expended defending the paint has short-circuited Phoenix's vaunted offense and, for the most part, neutralized Shawn Marion. And worst? Alienating Kenyon Martin. Pushing K-Mart aside didn't galvanize Denver the way punishing Kwame did last year for the Wizards. As inconsistent as Kenyon has been this season, the Nuggets had little chance of winning without him, reflected in the multiple starting lineups in his absence.

Hollinger: Best? The play Gregg Popovich ran against Sacramento at the end of Game 2 -- it caught the Kings completely by surprise. The worst has to be Mike Brown's play-calling at the end of games -- completely, utterly predictable.

Sheridan: I'm biased in favor of Wiz-Cavs, cuz I've been covering it a lot, but the play the Cavs ran for LeBron at the end of OT in Game 5 couldn't have gone off better. So Mike Brown gets my vote. The worst is George Karl suspending Kenyon Martin. Why does Furious George always feud with guys?

Stein: Phil letting Kobe do whatever he felt necessary to get the Lakers to the playoffs and then getting total commitment and focus from Kobe -- and your Kwame Browns, Smush Parkers and Brian Cooks -- to buy into a totally new game plan for the playoffs. The worst would be an otherwise sharp Rick Adelman not subbing out Bonzi late in the fourth quarter of Game 2 and then bringing Bonzi back when the Kings got the ball back in offense-defense mode. Instead he left Wells on Manu Ginobili to pick up his sixth foul when he didn't even need to be on the floor, forcing Wells to watch all of overtime from the bench in a game that, had Sacramento stolen it, might have had us talking about a historic upset.

Point23: It's not technically a move, but Dr. Phil getting Kobe to buy into this new philosophy and then trusting that Kwame flippin' Brown could control the paint is hand's down the best thing a coach has done in Round 1. Although Pop's baseline kick play to tie Game 2 was brilliant, just brilliant. The worst? Anything involving Eddie Jordan. What a train wreck. Make up your mind on how you're playing LeBron. And call a timeout after he hits the next game winner instead of heaving up a 60-foot airball.

5. What's your quick take on the officiating, rough play, suspensions, etc.?

Broussard: I don't have the stats but it seems like the refs are calling more offensive fouls than ever before, and it seems like they're calling charges on plays that have been blocks in previous years. This is clearly throwing players (Shaq, Jermaine O'Neal, LeBron) off.

I think the league had to suspend Raja Bell after the precedent it set by suspending Artest, James Posey and Udonis Haslem. But I think some of these suspensions could have been limited to flagrants without suspensions. Finally, on a positive note, the officials have been consistent -- every team feels like it's getting shafted.

Bucher: The more competitive the series, the more physical confrontations and heated emotions there are -- and this year we have an extraordinary number of competitive series. The postseason fracases also could be a by-product of the regular season. Referees were instructed by the league to be judicious with their T's and talk through conflicts. Players and coaches subsequently became more demonstrative about calls knowing they wouldn't pay a price. Add the do-or-die emotion of the playoffs to the wider boundaries and you have the spillage the refs are now trying to clean up.

Hollinger: Actually, I think the league is doing a great job of keeping this stuff to a minimum. There's always going to be some chippy play when teams see each other seven straight games, but the NBA has reduced greatly the incentive to vent frustrations against opposing players.

Sheridan: The arc beneath the basket has opened up a can of worms in terms of block-charge interpretations. It needs to be addresssed by the competition committee.

Stein: I can't even answer this until someone explains how Reggie Evans went unsuspended after what he pulled.

Point23: I may be alone here, but I think the NBA needs to take a chill pill. The only person who deserve to be suspended - the cookie monster, Reggie Evans - only got fined. Is Violet Palmer running the NBA disciplinary office? Does Stu Jackson pee standing up? Good Lord, that's atrocious. Every other instance was punished fairly enough when the player was ejected and assessed his tech. This is the playoffs, fellas - expect and allow more contact. Don't tamper with the intensity.

(And in case you missed it, reread Stein's answer. I don't know if it was intentional, but that was the best double entendre I've heard in a while. 'Atta boy, Stein! Way to sneak it past the big boys!)

6. What's the most underreported story of the first round?

Broussard: Pat Riley's playoff struggles. First, few have mentioned that this potential debacle on South Beach is all Riley's doing (revamping the roster, replacing Stan Van Gundy). Then, Riley's last four playoff appearances entering this season ended with his Heat being beaten by lower seeds. What's it say about him if this year's star-studded club falls to a far inferior Chicago club?

Bucher: How the Nuggets, eliminated in five games last year, went from a promising force to be reckoned with, to a team, eliminated in five games this year, that is poised to sink back into lottery hell. When a franchise's front office is in disarray, the trouble eventually will filter down to its team. This should be a cautionary tale for every NBA team -- and every organization of any kind. Underreported Story II: The conflict in the Kings' organization over acquiring Ron Artest and growing speculation that the Maloofs want to both re-make and relocate the franchise.

Hollinger: Dallas kicking the pants out of a very good Memphis team. We've reflexively made San Antonio the favorites in the West, but the Mavs played better than anybody else in Round 1.

Sheridan: Phil Jackson's game plan against the Suns, although I'll opine that underreported is too strong of a word. Is under-understood a word?

Stein: I'd still rather see best-of-fives in the first round. But for the first time since the NBA went to best-of-sevens from the start, nobody's complaining about how long the first round is. Because it's been so good.

Point23: How good the Kings are. They are arguably the third or fourth best team in the West right now. If they played with that roster for 82 games, they could have realistically won the Pacific over Phoenix. Look at that roster: one of the best, playoff-tested PG's in Bibby, the best perimiter defender in the L (and not too shabby a scorer, either) at the 2 in Ron Artest, Bonzi Wells eating people alive at the 3, Abdur-Rahim being the vet that he is at the four, and a versatile shooter and passer at the center spot in Miller. Look out next year. And if Barry doesn't hit that corner three, SA might be goin' fishin' a little early this season.

And as a runner-up: the Wizards making fun of LeBron (Caron Butler mocking his chalk in the air routine; Gilbert Arenas saying "we're all just witnesses" and then LeBron lighting them up. Honestly - they asked for it.

7. Two No. 7 seeds and a No. 8 seed are making serious challenges -- a sign of increasing parity or just a blip?

Broussard: Increasing parity wrought by injuries. Tim Duncan's not himself because of the plantar fasciitis, so S.A. is no longer invincible. Phoenix is without Amare Stoudemire and Kurt Thomas, and Miami's just never gelled and Shaq is aging fast.

Bucher: Fortuitous matchups. Low-seeded teams have been paired with teams they're ideally suited to create problems for. This year also points up the illusion a robust regular-season record can create.

Hollinger: Just a blip -- this has happened before. Three years ago San Antonio had the league's best record but was tied 2-2 after four games; so were the top-seeded Nets in the East. Of course, they both ended up in the Finals.

Sheridan: Blip. The Kings are good, period. They got an 8-seed cuz they stunk before they got Artest. Think they'd rather have him, or Peja Stojakovic and his mysterious swollen knee?

Stein: It's a sign of favorable matchups more than anything. The Lakers, Kings and Bulls have all found the favorites' flaws and (here's the rub) they're all exposing those flaws repeatedly.

Point23: Just a goofy set of circumstances. The Kings snuck into the playoffs after they acquired Artest - if they had him all year, they wouldn't be an 8 seed. The Heat can't guard a soul of the dribble - guess what Chicago thrives on? Perimiter penetration. Plus, it was always effort with the Heat - when they play hard, they win. They just didn'y play 48 minutes in Games 3 and 4. The Suns had to deal with the Mamba factor: 'nuff said.

AND THE BONUS: Are we in a new Golden Age of the NBA?

Broussard: That's hard to say, but there are reasons to believe that. With the Lakers and the Cavaliers emerging as strong teams, a few Finals matchups between the league's two best players (Kobe and LeBron) could be a distinct possibility, starting in a few years. That would be like Magic vs. Bird. Then with other great youngsters like Amare and D-Wade, Dwight Howard, Chris Paul … yeah, this could be the dawn of something special.

Bucher: Only time will tell. The presence of LeBron, the impact of Phil and Kobe reunited, the quiet emergence of the made-over Dallas Mavericks, the resurgence of Jason Kidd and Vince Carter certainly offer an array of interesting story lines moving forward.

Hollinger: Seems like it. With the draft class of 2003 entering its prime and several other young studs stepping forward, the league looks like it's finally over the post-Jordan hangover.

Sheridan: LeBron is going to change things, and Kobe is special, but Golden Age? We're in a transitional age, and we'll appreciate the "team game" more and more as long as we keep seeing the Pistons and Spurs win championships and Argentina win gold medals.

Stein: It's way too soon to talk about Golden Ages. It might be the Best First Round Ever, but it's still only the first round.

Point23: Oh, go out on a limb, fellas! This absolutely is the dawning of the new Golden Age. Look at all the different clashing philosophies trying to win a ring: run like Phoenix, have the single super-duper star like L.A. or Cleveland, be a great team like Detroit or SA? When have their ever been more MVP candidates? Kobe and Lebron and Dirk hitting buzzer beaters...this is The Best First Round Ever for a reason: it's the start of something huge. Plus, look at all the great names not in he playoffs: KG, Amare, Iverson, Chris Paul, Dwight Howard, T.Mac & Yao...yikes. Get ready for an NBA Renaissiance. I'm rambling like an idiot I'm so excited.

(In case you were wondering, ESPN held a little round table with its "experts" on their website, and somehow, they forgot us. Simple miscommunication, we're sure. So we took care of it. How'd we do?)

Read the Rest After the Jump...

Who Had May 3 in the Office Pool?

Barry Bonds got drilled in the head with a baseball during batting practice. So how's the ball? Ba-zing!

Couple of thoughts here:

1) This makes me happy, so: yay!

2) It took this long for Barry to get drilled in that noggin? I didn't even think he wore a batting helmet at this point; his skull is like a slab of concrete with a bedsheet barely spread over it. It's well established 'roids make your head swell up, but does your skull get real thick or does it stretch itself out? Does it get real thin, like a newborns? Or does the skull actually get thicker? I need to know this.

(This brings up the age old question: Would you rather have a head the size of a watermelon or an orange? I used to think watermelon was the way to go, but if it measn you get hit in the head all the time, I may have to reconsider.)

3) After he got hit, he layed on the ground for like 10 minutes. Remember when Canseco got hit on the head with a fly ball? That thing was hit from like 400 feet away, surely that hurt more than a ball that was slowed up by the batting cage net? And isn't it kinda funny Canseco and Bonds got hit in the head? (I think the baseball know who is on the juice, and they don't like it. Good for them.)

4) Why does he need days off? What is he so tired from? Jogging to first three times a day? Chasing down a pair of fly balls? If the Giants play a night game followed by a day game, he takes the day game off. Why?!?! I can see resting for an injury or something, but it seems like he's just too tired to play two games in less than 24 hours. How bad of shape do you have to be in to not be able to do that? I really don't get this. Somone explain it to me.

But hey, Bonds got drilled in the head. Good day, good day.

Read the Rest After the Jump...

Is LeBron Great or are the Wizards Morons? Whole 'Lotta Both.

Alright, Bron Bron. You're starting to get silly.

LeBron's second game winner of the series was a ridiculous display of balance and body control. He got put in probably the worst spot on the court and somehow tight roped his way down the baseline before hitting a twisting, contorted layup at the buzzer. And yea, he got a layup, but there isn't a long list of guys in the NBA who could pull off that drive and that finish.

He made an incredible play look easy. The question is, Why did it look so easy? Because Bronny is that good, or because the Bullet...er, Wizards' D is that bad? A little of both, methinks. But more Bronny being half-diety.

The Wiznutts are atrocious defensively; no one is arguing that. There was a ball screen in the third quarter, I think, at the three point line and Gilbert Arenas went under it - all the way to the charge circle. That's not even an exaggeration: he was literally standing by the charge circle. I'm pretty sure it was the worst defended ball screen I've ever seen (except for this one time I didn't see a ball screen and spun around twice before I could find my man, who was already running back down the court after mkaing an uncontested layup by the time I located him. Bad times for me.). You could put together a lowlight reel on how to play horrendous defense.

And on LeBron's last shot, they ran three guys at him - who all decided it was best to just get the hell out of the man's way. Jamison actually threw his hands up in the air. UNBELIEVABLE.
And then Arenas - the fourth guy to "challenge" (and I am using that term as loosely as possible) him - completely avoided him. And Gilbert only had four fouls, too. Is it that bad of an idea to, oh, I don't know, make LeBron earn it at the free throw line? Make two shots from 15 feet away with the game on the line instead of a lay up? I think it has some merit. One man's opinion.

And then (I'm running out of italics here) Jamison inbounds it to Arenas, who heaves an airball up from three-quarters court. Um, Antawn? You know that in the NBA if you call a time out, they let you take the ball out in your own front court? Then you get to try to shoot from pretty close to the basket. It's kinda neat, actually. I'm not even kidding! It's true, I looked it up. Actually, I saw someone do it before...who was it...oh! It was the Cavs on the play they just scored on. I suppose you can't put that entirely on Antawn. A coach may or may not have TO responsibilites; not sure how they work it on the Wiz. They might wanna go over that for Game 6, though. Again, one man's opinion.

But as bad as the Wiz screwed up, the Cavs didn't exactly have the game plan of the century, either. Mike Brown is known for having a playbook slightly thicker than the Cleveland telephone book, and that's the play he draws up? "Alright guys, here's what were gonna do. LeBron, you run right to the corner. It's the easiest place to get trapped, so that's perfect. They are going to run their entire team at you, so we'll give them two extra defenders in the sideline and the baseline. We don't want you anywhere near the wing though, where you can see defenders coming at you and have the option to go either right or left, LeBron, so make sure you catch it as deep in the corner as possible. OK, Cavs on three - one, two - what? No good?"

So both coaches did their best to screw it up, and Eddie Jordan won. Congratulations.

And Caron Butler: make fun of LeBron's Chalk in the Air routine some more. I think it's a good idea. Do it every play. It's really worked out well so far. And Gilbert - make fun of the whole "we are all witnesses" thing. Because you know what? You aren't funny and you are a witness.

How stupid are the Wizards? The openly taunt arguably the best player in the game - certainly the best player in the series - who then promptly shreds them all series, draining buzzer beater after buzzer beater on a poorly designed play that they are too stupid to guard. I can't wait to see what they have lined up for Game 6.

Read the Rest After the Jump...

Wednesday, May 03, 2006

Draft stuff. It's a little late, but it's still faster than the Vikes making their pick.

Thoughts on Saturday's NFL Draft:

  • Know this: I hate Chris Berman. I loathe him. He hasn't made an original joke since about oh, i don't know, 1983. He has forced Tom Jackson into being his little lackey, made to laugh at his lame ass jokes and sing "San Diego Super Chargers" twice a broadcast. His nicknames aren't funny anymore ("The Beer Man!" We know, Chris, we know. Go away now). He knows less about football than anyone on any NFL broadcast he's ever worked on (noteable exception: Paul McGuire). Maybe because he knows he's at the short end of the stick and his shtick is starting to wear thin and he needs to look like he knows what he's talking about, he tips every draft pick before the Commish read them. EVERY ONE. And it's not even like he knows; someone is telling him through his head set. I know this isn't an original thought, and I'm not the first one to say it, but I really can't think of anything that annoys me more. Does he think people are tuning in to hear him tell them who their team is taking? Why does he do this? One reason. That's all I want.
  • If one more person compares Mario Williams to Sam Bowie, I am going Reggie Evans on them. I mean it. You want your cookie jar tampered with? Say Bowie. In fact, just to be safe, don't even mention David Bowie around me. Or Sam Perkins. Better safe than sorry.
  • Honestly, though...say what you will about picking Williams over Bush, but the deciding factor was money. The Texans didn't want a hold out, so they took a player they wanted less. I've never run an NFL team, but my gut is telling me that wasn't the smartest way to make a fairly important decision.
  • Last thought on Super Mario: he played on a D line that had two other prospects go in the top 26, plus two other defensive players who were drafted, and Bush, Leinart, et al get punished for being surrounded by too much talent? That adds up. By the way, NC St. had five (5!) defensive players drafted, but they still went 6-5 this year (which, incredibly, Mel Kiper Jr. knew off the top of his head). At least USC won with all their talent.
  • Jet fans applauded their pick, which wasn't all that sexy a pick (I love sexy picks. If I was a GM, all my picks would be sexy). What's stranger, that or Kobe pulling a Steve Nash?
  • And the Niners, my team, take Vernon Davis, who's apparently a monster, so that's cool. He cries, though, so that's not cool.
  • Overall, I enjoyed the Niners draft. Except for a few WR, every pick was on the defensive side of the ball. No complaints there. Plus, they drafted Michael Robinson, who was responsible for this hit, which was harder than any hit a defender the Niners had last season:



  • Leinart falling to the Cardinals at the 10 spot: That offense could be something special in a few years; they have weapons galore. And Leinart has to be geeked with all his new toys. But he has to wish he came out last year, right? No national title, dropped 9 spots, lost millions, and all to not go to class and chill with groupies...he coulda done that in the NFL, right? Course, he would have all of Alex Smith's concussions for the next 4 years, but still. And no, I'm not bitter he stayed when he coulda went to the Niners a year ago. Not at all.
  • Move of the draft: the Steelers moving up to get Santonio Holmes. They replace Randle El, last season's X factor, with someone better than Randle El, although he can't throw like Randle El. Although I'm sure he doesn't throw random laterals and do that stupid reverse backwards spin every time he catches a punt, so maybe it'll ever out.
  • I know he has a torn hamstring, but how fat did LenDale White look? You could barely read "Got Robbed" on his Chauncey Billups t-shirt (interesting choice) because it was stretched so thin. And running backs should have just one chin, yes?
  • How are Trey Wingo's two primary responsibilities the NFL and the Women's Final Four? How did that happen? Could there have been two more random assignments? Does Karl Ravech cover softball? Who does he hate more, Merril Hodge or the blonde Mrs. Steven A. Smith from the girl's Final Four? Am I out of questions? Yes, yes I am.
  • The Giants drafted a DE. Lions and WR jokes, anyone?
  • Players Who Will Be Better Than Expected: Anyone from USC: LenDale, Leinart, Winston Justice...Maurice Stovall.
  • Players Who Will Be Worse Than Expected: Jay Cutler, Sinorice Moss.
  • Three teams drafted teammates within the first three rounds: Bills (Donte Whitner and Ashton Youboty, Ohio St.), Jags (Marcedes Lewis and Maurice Drew, UCLA) and the Cards (Leinart and Lutui, USC). Just thought that was cool. Plus, I wanted to say "Youboty."
  • My boy is the biggest Dolphins fan I know. Actually, he's the only Dolphins fan I know. But he's hardcore. So this is for him. And oh, they just signed Marcus Vick to a tryout. Ladies and gentlemen, your 2006 Miami Dolphins!




  • The Patriots drafted a kicker to replace the greatest clutch kicker off my lifetime, maybe ever. Um, I know Belichek's a "genius" and all, but...I dunno, he better be good.
  • Basketball players with NFL teams: Ed Nelson, Jai Lewis. Thought that was interesting.
Aaaaaaaand i'm spent.

Read the Rest After the Jump...

In defense of Raja Bell.

The NBA needs to take a few deep breathes.

They need to count to 10, destroy a stress ball or two, rub their earlobes and say "woo-sah," something, anything. They need to take a few steps back and realize exactly what the Raja Bell foul on Kobe was. They need to make sure Raja Bell isn't suspended and that he's in the starting line up for Game 6.


Why? Well, first of all, Raja Bell didn't clothesline Kobe around the neck and then throw him to the ground. Hit hit him in the chest with a forearm and then didn't catch Kobe as he was falling to the ground. There's a difference. A big one. Yea, eventually, Raja's arm found Kobe'e neck. But he didn't hit him there.If he would have clotheslined him around the neck, then sure, suspend him. But thats not what he did, and it wasn't as bad as everyone is making it out to be.

He hit Kobe in the chest with a forearm. He hit him hard in the chest with a forearm. It was intentional, and it was flagrant. But that's all it was. It was dealt with properly at the time (Bell got the gate), and that's it.

I mean, this is the playoffs. The fouls are going to be harder - and they should be. You can't let teams waltz around out there, and when necessary, you foul hard. You aren't "sending a message," but you're letting the other team know that you'r going to be there all night, and if they want to win, they're going to have to do more than just show up. If the NBA isn't going to allow harder fouls in the playoffs, then the playoffs aren't going to be the same. The intensity is tampered with. You can't even have a hint of that, not with the perception that NBA players don't always play hard.

(This is an enirely seperate issue - or maybe not - but the NBA needs to chill with the suspensions, alright? It's the freakin' playoffs. Its basketball, not bocce ball. There's going to be contact, and it's going to be physical. It's a contact sport. Let's all get off our high horses and let 'em play some basketball, contact included.)

There is something to be said for where the NBA has set the bar so far this postseason in terms of handing out suspensions, but that's no reason to suspend Bell. And as for that "bar," you have to look at the circumstances surrounding each instance (and being wrong the first couple of times isn't a good enough reason to be wrong the third or fourth time, either).

Artest didn't deserve to be suspended - if anyone else touched up Manu like that, it wouldn't even have made Sports Center - but since he's Ron Artest, he got a game on the sidelines. Fair or not (fair to me), that's what happened. And Posey's foul was just stupid on his part; you could see it coming a mile away (well, as long as you aren't Kirk Hinrich). It was cheap and not a "basketball move," a saying the league has fallen in love with. And as intentional as it was, Hinrich didn't even fall over! Sure, it was hard, but you get suspended for
not even knocking someone over? What if he would have fallen over?

It's debatable whether or not Bell's foul was a "basketball move." I think it was. It was a hard foul. Was it really all that different from Brenden Haywood wrapping up LeBron? Or how about Luke Walton drilling Tim Thomas out of mid air in this series? Knocking some one out of the air is more of a potential risk for injury than anything Raja Bell did. And not to pile on (well, ok, to pile on), but Reggie Evans sexually violated Chris Kaman and he didn't get suspended. Arguably the worst - nah, easily the worst - transgression of the post season goes unpunished, and you are going to suspend Bell for a hard, playoff level foul?

(I mean, what would you rather have done to you? Your cookies nearly ripped off, or a shot to the chest? Show me someone who wants a shot to the chest and I'll show you the next first round draft pick of the Phoenix Mercury.)

And when it comes down to it, Game 6 is just too important not to have Raja Bell in it. It's the most exciting series of the first round, and Bell's absence in Game 6 would cheapen the Laker's potential clincher. He needs to be there.

Remember your pressure points, Commish. Woo-sah, woo-sah.

Read the Rest After the Jump...

Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Why?

Shaun Alexander is the new cover boy for Madden '07.

This...this is no good.

I thought that if I just ignored this for a while, it might go away. Maybe if I pretended like it didn't exist, it really wouldn't. But there's just no avoiding it: the T. Birds' franchise player is next in line to suffer the ravages of the Madden Curse.

Now, the curse is well-documented. Barry Sanders was featured, and then he retired. Eddie George (another T. Bid casualty of the curse...gulp) hasn't cracked 1,000 yards since he graced he cover. Culpepper, Faulk, Ray Lewis - all subpar years, and arguably the start of their career's decline. Michael Vick pulled a poor man's Joe Thieseman, and Donovan McNabb was saddled with the real life - and poorly acted - soap opera that was Terrell Owens. Not only is this thing consistant, it seems like its picking up steam. Frankly, I'm frightened.

Now comes Alexander the Great. Fresh off his record-breaking touchdown season - and more importantly, leading the T. Bird's to their first ever 16th Avenue Leagends League Fantasy Championship - Big John has the gall to put my franchise on the cover.

This...this is just no good.

You see, Alexander has been there through the lean times of the T. Birds franchise. He was there near the beginning of our five-year plan when times were bleak, and he was there at the end when we took home the hardware. When he checked into that blowout in Week 16 with the Seahawks on the goal line, solely to break a record when the game was well in hand and he might have hurt himself for the playoffs, well...that was just special. We really couldn't have been happier.

Stats and records: that's what really mattered. No one embraces this better than Shaun. Two years ago, when Holmgren didn't let him check back into the game and he lost the rushing title by a yard, Shaun said he was "stabbed in the back." You're damn right he was, and so were we! Every yard counts. No one knew this better than He of the Meaningless Touchdown.

Heading into this season, the T. Birds have no idea what to expect out of Alexander the Great. Could he top himself? Would he score 40 TDs? 200 yards a game? Nothing would have surprised us - and our Sunday's would have been glorious days of relaxation, made for sipping drinks with little umbrellas in them.

And now John freakin' Madden does this to us. After we've come this far. Who knows what the Curse has in store. Team play? Letting the fullback score from the one? Sitting out fourth quarters? Good God, it seems like anything is possible.

Somethings in life really aren't fair. And this is official notice that Alexander is on the trading block.

Read the Rest After the Jump...

Friday, April 28, 2006

Witnessing.

We decided to do a running blog entry of tonight’s Cavs-Wizards game. Few reasons: Its our favorite series right now, we had nothing else better to do…but basically we just wanted to write glowing things about LeBron James.

A few notes before we get things under way:

- All this crap that LeBron didn’t play well because he got knocked around is just that: crap. The Zards D really didn’t have that much to do with the win: Bron Bron just didn’t play that well. When you are saving balls under your own basket and missing breakaway dunks, you just don’t have you’re A game. He leads the NBA in 3-point plays: you think he can’t handle some contact? Dude’s a freight train. Brenden Heywood is…ah, you know what? He’s a Carolina grad. We’ll lay off.
- Will Bronny still attack the rim? Not because he’s scared of contact, but because the Wiz are laying off him. So maybe the real question is, can the King knock down a few open J’s?
- We know Gilbert and LeBron are going to get theirs. Who else will step up? If Drew Gooden can duplicate his performance from Game 2 coupled with LeBron playing better, it’s a wrap. If the Wizards big three can crack 75, it’s a wrap. If both those things happen…well, that’s a lot of wraps.
- Caron Butler is a dead man for mocking LeBron’s “chalk in the air” routine. A dead man.
- We’re openly cheering for the Cavs.
- We’re slightly buzzed. Just saying.

In the interest of full disclosure: we’re joined by my man Biz; Polly and Caspian (the house ducks) and a full case of Miller Lite. Here we go…

Snapper Jones and Mike Tirico calling the game. Love Tirico, hate Snapper. We’ll call it a draw. His name is Snapper! How bad does your real name have to be to change it to Snapper? Snapper, BJ…ESPN needs to hire some people with more sexual names, we think.

Doris Burke working the sideline. Apparently, Trey Wingo was unavailable.

Ilgauskas opens up the game by drilling a hook shot that started at his knees. I can’t believe that goes in regularly. Nice beard, Z, you look like the Russian guy from Bad Boys II. But everyone one the Cavs has a beard. In fact, like, 85% of the people in the playoffs have a beard. Except Nash, he can’t grow facial hair. Just MVPs. (And I just puked. Nash: back to back MVP. Yea, he’s that good. Puke again)

Down 6-4, Z has shot 3 times, Gooden once, Hughes twice. Maybe LeBron could touch it, yes? By the way, only one of those went in.

Both teams seem pretty upset with the backboard. And the basketball. Those two are colliding a lot. The net is lonely.

Gooden hammers home a tip dunk. If the Wiz don’t keep him off the glass, they are done. Good sign of you’re a Cavs fun (like us).

Gooden just double dribbled. I swear to God. He dribbled, picked it up, shot faked, and then dribbled again. Second graders everywhere said, “Hey, you can’t do that!.”

LeBron scores! Goes coast to coast after a rebound. Good sign, despite the sloppy start.

(Breaking news! Mario Williams signs with the Texans! Good God, the Niners have a chance at Reggie Bush! If the Niners get Bush, and LeBron plays well…and the Tar Heels recruiting class….dear lord, this is too much..don’t mess with me)

Gilbert says “let LeBron get his and we’ll take away everyone else.” Yes. Very smart. Let’s do that.

This is so sloppy. Both teams are missing layups, falling over, throwing the ball away, falling over…is this Cavs-Wiz or Rockers-Mystics (yes, I know these cities WNBA teams. We’ll discuss this later).

Wizards are doubling LeBron off the pick and roll. That conflicts with the whole “let LeBron get his” doesn’t it? By the way, I don’t get the whole “let him get his” theory. Why wouldn’t he score every time then? They aren’t letting him score, are they?

Butler just shot a three from near the top of the key and it hit the backboard – squarely. Wow. Karma, Caron. You have no one to blame but yourself. If you got points for hitting the backboard really hard and avoiding the rim at all costs, the Wiz would be killing the Cavs. As is stands, they’re up six, 17-11.

Commercial break. We are all witnesses. Yes we are.

Flagrant foul on Anderson Varajao. Unreal. The NBA is turning into a bunch of pussies. That’s ridiculous. He bodied them up. This is a contact sport, Commish. Let ‘em play. Neither Artest or Psey should be suspended. They were hard fouls – granted, they had nothing to do with basketball, but whatever – and it’s the playoffs.

Cripes. Arenas drills a pull up three. But LeBron answers, getting to the rim, taking the foul, finishing, but missing the free throw. 22-15, Wiz.

Caron Butler scores again, coast to coast. 26-15. This is no good. 7-8-8 so far for the Big Three. This is no good.

LeBron hammers one out of the time out, blowing by everyone from the top of the key and finishing with two hands. We’ll leave it to Tirico: “Excuse me while I clear my throat.”

End of the quarter: LeBron whips a great pass to Verajao under the rim, who is promptly rejected. Memo to LeBron: he sucks. Quit throwing him the ball, especially under the rim when no one is around him. Bad things happen. Still, Cavs force a quick turnover and Flip Murray’s dunk beats the buzzer. After one – Wiz up 7. 13 combined turnovers. Let’s sharpen things up, eh, ladies?

Good God. Arenas is on fire. LeBron answers again, though. He’s kinda good. Oh, he scored again while I was typing that. I’m a slow typer, but that was fast.

I went to grab a beer – Bizz, what I miss? Oh you’re sleeping? K, just checking.

Every time the Wiz make a big basket, LeBron answers. It’s a layup fest for him. Where is the enforcer Brenden Haywood?

(I have to pee so bad. Can we go to commercial please? Please?!?!)

Haywood flops as Ilgauskas gets an easy bucket. I never say Charles Oakley flop, or any “enforcer” for that matter.

With 6:13 left in the half, Arenas head to the locker room. Yay. Going to check the flop, we think.

Antonio Daniels – knock it off. He’s causing all kinds of problems, getting in the paint, drawing fouls. Two freebies pushes the lead out to eight. Damn you, Antonio.

(Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh.)

Bronny misses a three. Shit. Jared Jeffries, three point play. Shit.

James: 16 points. Rest of team: 20. Yea, Kobe has a weak supporting cast.

The Big Three is pissing me off. I hate all of them. Quit shooting, all three of you! The Cavs playing can’t guard their own shadow, though, so that might help.

Mike Brown – get that look of your face. Tell me you have some answers. That look makes me think you don’t. Oh, you’re just relying in LeBron? You have no answers? Just that dumb look? We thought so.

LeBron follows up a Snow miss with a tip dunk, then steals a lazy pass and hammers one at the other end. Still, the Wizznuts are up 10. Make that eight: Varajeo actually made a layup. I don’t know who I hate more, the Wizznuts or LeBron’s supporting cast.

Halftime: Cavs down 8. The Big Three really couldn’t have played any better. Bron needs some help. Anyone. Z? Larry? Drew Gooden? Oh nevermind, Drew is done. Atawn Jamison is “taking it personal” to stop him. So Gooden is done. Fabulous.

Second half is under way. Arenas drills a jumper. Of course he did.

In the interest of full disclosure, these posts are starting to be a lot funnier to me. And that’s not because I am writing funny lines. Yea.

ESPN just showed back to back shots of the Cavs coach and the Wizards coach making the exact same face; they should just run a thought bubble above their heads saying, “What is the best way I can blow this game?” I don’t think either of them is smart. So this game should be up to the players. Somehow, we don’t know who that favors. The Wiz have more good players, but the Cavs have the best.

Somehow, this game is getting boring. Half court set after half court set resulting in bricked midrange jumpers. Lots of fouls. Few offensive rebounds. C’mon fellas, gimme something.

Biz just sneezed in his sleep. That was more exciting than anything in this half.

Caron drills a fadeaway. Kid is having himself a game. Bron answers in the post. Why isn’t he living in there? They aren’t doubling him, and hes about 7 feet from the bucket. I see no downside.

Are you bored reading this? You should be, because I’m bored writing this.

Not anymore! Heywood just airballed a free throw. That’s right. He’s being paid a lot of money to play basketball and he can’t hit the rim from 15 feet away. He should get a bigger suspension than Delmon Young. That’s ridiculous.

Oh what a fucking pass. LeBron just flicked a pass from the 3 point line under the rim to someone who made a layup. It was all wrist, just snap and it was there. I’m still trying to figure out how he got it in there. Heywood didn’t even see it zip over his shoulder; it was like throwing a fade when the DB isn’t quite looking. That’s why he’s LeBron, plain and simple. Damn.

The announcers are making a big deal that LeBron “doesn’t focus on the defender in front of him.” Just the help. Little secret, fellas: that goes for a lot of the players in the NBA. Few people can stop a professional scorer one-on-one. That’s why help D is so crucial in the NBA – the primary defender is usually useless.

Somehow, we’re tied after the third quarter. Fourth, all even…it’s the playoffs, great become good, legends are born, and any other cliché you wanna throw out.

Wiz draw first blood on a sweet baseline drive by Arenas. The reverse finish in traffic…that was tough. But, as always, LeBron answers, drilling a three. But Arenas responds with a two of his own. Shootout!

Arenas scores again – holy hell, he’s tough – and Hughes answers right back with a layup and the foul. Free throw on the way, after the break…good. We’re all tied. Michael Ruffin checks in after Haywood picks up his fifth foul, and not for his offense.

Ga-Damn. Arenas with a 3 point play. I hate him. Bronny hits a three! The back and forth is getting a little “can you top this?” I never saw it, but this is turning into a poor man’s - very poor, mind you – Bird/’Nique.

5:34 left. Cavs down 6 after two Caron Butler free throws. He has 18. I hate him so hard.

Neither team seems particularly interested in stopping the other. I know the playoffs are all about D, but I can’t name a series – certainly not this one – where one team just put the clamps on another team.

No one is even sweating right now. There’s three minutes left in the fourth quarter of a crucial first round playoff game – and no one is sweating.

OK, two minutes left. My concentation is waning. I think I’m drunk. Wiz up four. I hate them. LeBron with another three point play. Everyone else on his team sucks. He does everything. He might as well have the Rockers out there. They don’t guard anyone, they don’t make open shots – they’re freakin worthless. LeBron has them within one.

1:45 left, Wiz ball. Arenas flops on a block call and goes to the line. Makes one of two. If LeBron can pull out a win here, he’s a god. He gets fouled, no call – Wiz ball. Ruffin fouled, but since the refs were trying to make up for screwing LeBron, they don’t call it. Donyell Marshall wake up from his nap, misses a three, and then is fouled when he grabs his own rebound. He knocks down both free throws – game tied at 93, 50.8 seconds left.

Oh no. LeBron is chewing on his nails in the timeout. Could he have picked a worse nervous habit? I’d rather have him smoking Marlboro’s.

Murray steals an entry pass! Cavs balls. 41.8 secs. LeBron goes to town on his fingernails. Even Snapper is mocking him. Hail Mary, full of grace…

LeBron scores…probably a jumpball, but he’s Lebron….Arenas the other way…layup, yes…And one! Makes the freebie…23.4 secs left, Cavs ball, down one. Here we go, Bronny, it’s all you.


Oh my God, I cant breathe….Oh my God…Oh…My…God…LeBron works his way in to the paint, takes the contact, hangs…and banks in an impossible shot…should have got the foul, too…just a ridiculous shot…ga-damn, he’s good. I witnessed that. 5 ticks left.

Arenas inbounds…gets it back…Hughes falls down…(tears begin to form…)…Arenas misses! Game, Cavs!

Everyone bite your nails! Its cool! It makes you hit game winners and shouldn’t be a concern at all!

Final thoughts: the Cavs trailed all game, and somehow won. That means something. LeBron willed them to that win…41 points, record for most points on the road during a playoff debut. This series is going to be a classic. Long live the King.

And I’m drunk, I think. Sorry.

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