Why?

Shaun Alexander is the new cover boy for Madden '07.

This...this is no good.

I thought that if I just ignored this for a while, it might go away. Maybe if I pretended like it didn't exist, it really wouldn't. But there's just no avoiding it: the T. Birds' franchise player is next in line to suffer the ravages of the Madden Curse.

Now, the curse is well-documented. Barry Sanders was featured, and then he retired. Eddie George (another T. Bid casualty of the curse...gulp) hasn't cracked 1,000 yards since he graced he cover. Culpepper, Faulk, Ray Lewis - all subpar years, and arguably the start of their career's decline. Michael Vick pulled a poor man's Joe Thieseman, and Donovan McNabb was saddled with the real life - and poorly acted - soap opera that was Terrell Owens. Not only is this thing consistant, it seems like its picking up steam. Frankly, I'm frightened.

Now comes Alexander the Great. Fresh off his record-breaking touchdown season - and more importantly, leading the T. Bird's to their first ever 16th Avenue Leagends League Fantasy Championship - Big John has the gall to put my franchise on the cover.

This...this is just no good.

You see, Alexander has been there through the lean times of the T. Birds franchise. He was there near the beginning of our five-year plan when times were bleak, and he was there at the end when we took home the hardware. When he checked into that blowout in Week 16 with the Seahawks on the goal line, solely to break a record when the game was well in hand and he might have hurt himself for the playoffs, well...that was just special. We really couldn't have been happier.

Stats and records: that's what really mattered. No one embraces this better than Shaun. Two years ago, when Holmgren didn't let him check back into the game and he lost the rushing title by a yard, Shaun said he was "stabbed in the back." You're damn right he was, and so were we! Every yard counts. No one knew this better than He of the Meaningless Touchdown.

Heading into this season, the T. Birds have no idea what to expect out of Alexander the Great. Could he top himself? Would he score 40 TDs? 200 yards a game? Nothing would have surprised us - and our Sunday's would have been glorious days of relaxation, made for sipping drinks with little umbrellas in them.

And now John freakin' Madden does this to us. After we've come this far. Who knows what the Curse has in store. Team play? Letting the fullback score from the one? Sitting out fourth quarters? Good God, it seems like anything is possible.

Somethings in life really aren't fair. And this is official notice that Alexander is on the trading block.