Monday, July 10, 2006

Federer is a Ballsy Genius

I don't watch too much tennis. At least not since it was on USA and Michael Chang was relevant (I had an irrational soft spot for Michael Chang; I have no idea why.) But from what I've gathered, there are basically only two relevant players - Roger Federer and Rafeal Nadal. Federer hasn't lost on grass ever apparently, but Nadal is whooping his ass in majors this year. I think. Anyways, its quite a rivalry. The Tiger/Phil of tennis, if you will.

Actually, it must be, because quotes like this are flying around:

Rafael has the one thing that Roger doesn't: balls. I don't even think Rafael has two; I think he has three....Roger might have them, but against Nadal they shrink to a very small size and it's not once. It's every time.

- former tennis champ Mats Wilander
That's just spectacular. I don't even know what the craziest past of that quote is...one player has an extra testicle...one player has the ability to shrink his testicles...or the guy who said it is named "Mats" and he's a "former tennis champ." Was he the champion of all tennis at some point that I'm not aware of? Did he just win one little event and then dub himself a former tennis champ? Can you even do that? Regardless, Mats is the champion of all tennis and has a deep knowledge of the player's testicular abilities. Sweet.

Anyways, apparently the winner of Wimbledon is supposed to wear - or gets, or something - a cream colored jacket. I'm not really sure the deal with the cream jacket, but somehow its linked with the winner. Not the coolest thing a champ ever got to wear, but whatever.

And here's why Nadal had no chance (other than being weighed down by a third nut): Federer wore the jacket before the match even began. He wore it to the warmup! That's a pretty ballsy thing to do (considering his shrinking balls, even more so). And I'm not sure, but I think he wore it to all his other matchres in the tourney, too. I don't care if you don't like tennis or Federer, that's a pretty damn cool thing to do.

And then he went out and iced Nadal. That's a statement. I guess you can say he wore it as a reminder that he had won the last three...but I choose to look the other way, and you should, too. He wore because he was telling Nadal: "See this? I'm going to win it. Again. I already won this match. That's nice of you to show up, but it wasn't really necessary. I am going to obliterate you and you're crowded scrotum. Enjoy."

Imagine of other teams in other sports did that. What if the White Sox took BP with their rings? Or the Spurs would warmup with banners draped around them? That's must see TV right there, my friend.

(Oh, apperntly this is what the jacket is all about: It was made by Nike, and has a crest that included a tuft of grass, the Swiss cross, the symbol for his Leo star sign, an F for his surname, and three racquets which represent his three Wimbledon titles. Um...can I have one?)

1 comments so far. Might as well add your own.:

Zero said...

What my crest would include:

- A capital D for Dupree, as in You, Me, and Dupree....because I am on the path to someday be Dupree. Get ready for it Tommy.
- The number zero
- Some of Woody Paige's chest hair
- A goose
- The remnants of a contact lens from the Westminster game our junior year