First Half: Live Blogging Carolina/Duke.

Waiting for G'town/Louisville to end so we can get to UNC/Duke. Len Elmore and some other guy calling the game. Can they do the next game, too? Do we really need Vitale and Patrick trying to top eachother like Bird and 'Nique to see who can salivate the most over Duke?

I called it. Freakin' tools with Carolina sweatshirts on shaming the whole rivalry on the ESPN couch.

Wow, close up of Mike Patrick. For once, I'm grateful I don't have HDTV. He looks like Lord Voldemort right out of the cauldron. Or the underside of a rock.

Isn't Josh McRoberts tough? I mean, look at his scowl! Man, he is so hard. Easy there, Josh.

Doris Burke talking about Coach K letting his players sign center court. I hate Duke, but ya know...that was pretty cool. Don't tell anyone I said that.

Rayshawn Terry smacks the first shot of the game off the backboard. He can jump high. Were off to a good start.

Wow. Lawson just got called for a pushoff on Paulus, who then goes down and makes a three. I'm gonna rub my eyes real hard like a cartoon and pretend that never happened.

Cripes. Terry falls down and looks like Peter Griffin after the water slide down the living room stairs...elbows and knees at odd angles. Not good.

Gerald Henderson with a jumper. Did he go to HS with anyone from UNC? This might top the "Paulus got rectuited by ND to play QB" angle. And that little bastard scored again! And now Scheyer...for the love of Wojo, Duke is on fire. Mike Patrick tucks his first boner. Another wide open three. I am in hell. Oh my God, another one! No, it rimmed out...thank God. Mike Patrick might have climaxed. 15-6, Duke in the early going.

Another offensive foul on UNC. Cripes. There is no way Duke can sustain this. There just isn't. It's absurd. If I wasn't typing this as I was watching it, I wouldn't believe it.

Roy subs in Bobby Frasier for Lawson. Lawson will be alright (I hope). Ellington hit a tough J. And then another. If he gets it going, look out.

I like when other announcers call Vitale by his name. I like to think they are secretly insulting him. "You know, I couldn't agree more, Dick."

Lawson's back; slashes through the lane for two and the lead is down to five. Told ya this couldn't last forever. McRoberts answers - Vitale says he should be scoring twenty; Patrick immediately bails him out saying that he doesn' score because he's so unselfish. Please. He just isn't that good, plain and simple. If you can't be good at Duke, you just aren't.

Duke puts three guys on Hansbrough and Lawson still throws it to him. C'mon Ty...someone is open.

What I miss? My dog just tricked me into getting hear a treat when I thought she had to go outside. Smart puppy. 21-12, Duke.

A scrum! A pile up! A melee! Gheorge Muresan's "little" brother and Terry get into it. Matt Dougherty just rushed out of the stands and tried to punch Wojo! Hey, Reyshawn's back! And I think that tall guy just said the fuck word! Aaaaand commercial.

I'll tell you what: Hansbrough is a better perimeter defender than people give him credit for. McRoberts just tried to take him off the dribble and Tyler walled him off - twice. Maybe he will be decent in the L. Game is getting frenetic now. Duke ends up scoring, but they've missed back to back lay ups and a three. This favors UNC in the long run. Duke just can't keep this up. 24-19, Duke. Make that 24-21 after Psycho T hammers one home.

Hey, they mention Dick Devenzio. I went to his camp a while ago..."The Point Guard College." It was a co-ed sleepover camp, but that wasn't in the brochure. I looked like Paulus staring down a full court press when I learned girls were sleeping over. And that little bastard scores again! Where does Duke get annoying white point guards? Are they rolling them off some assembly line, using Coach K's and a rat's DNA?

OK, maybe the most ridiculous technical foul I've seen outside of Skip Dry. Deon Thompson goes for a tip dunk, misses the ball, and then grabs the rim, all in one motion, like in NBA Jam when you would try to dunk but get stripped and your guy still goes through the motions. So stupid. Vitale and Patrick agree with the call. Of course they do. 28-21 Duke. Still.

Paulus with a heat check. Keep looking, Greg. That's more like it.

First pro-Carolina thing said by Mike Patrick: "Momentum looks to be swinging in Carolina's favor." This is followed by Reyshawn Terry promptly dribbling off his shin and out of bounds. He pulled a Kilcoyne! He reversed jinxed them! I don't think Kilcoyne will ever know how much I loathed his reverse jinxes. He had a solid five year run where it was automatic.

Wow. 10 straight shots of Duke co-eds. Um...they seem like very nice young ladies, very smart. Yea.

If Matt Dillon was seven feet tall and uglier, he'd be Zoubek. Zoubek takes nine steps and is finally called for a walk.

Can everyone just get the hell out of Ty Lawson's way please? No one can keep up with him. It isn't even close. Just get the hell out of the way!

Duke is shooting the friggin' lights out. This is excruciating. Duke is just getting open look after open look. Its unreal.

Is Brandan Wright playing this evening? Oh. There he is for a dunk. 'Bout time. 35-27, Duke. Carolina just looks totally lost. But Scheyer - who has like 15 right now on all wide open looks and hustle plays - is sucking wind running up court. 3:30 left. Whoever closes out this half the best will win this game. These are three really important minutes.

Paulus drives and is fouled...I can't take this. He can't play against Kent St. or Virginia Tech; all of the sudden he's Bobby Hurley reincarnated. I can't do this. I can't.

Oh God. Quentin Thomas is in. I am so scared right now. Petrified. Oh - he found Terry for a three! There's a saying about blind squirrels and nuts that applies here. But seriously, get him out of the game. Now.

Ellington drives and is contacted by two players, no whistle; Paulus drives and get a call. It is definitely a pro-Duke whistle right now. But we knew that going in.

Ginyard with a floater with 15 seconds left; that'll be the last points of the half. Duke up 5 at the break, 39-34. Duke is playing wonderfully, I'll give them that, but UNC is letting them. A plethora of open looks, bad shots on offense, careless with the ball. If it is any consolation, UNC couldn't have played any dumber and they are only down 5. I guess that's a good thing.

I can't watch the second half, I don't think. It's almost 10, I'm just going to watch LOST. Wake me up when it''s over.