Tonight in the Association

I've decided that under no circumstance is it wise to bet either for or against the Miami Heat. You have no idea when they are going to show up. You think they'd try against the Bulls, everyone's 'sexy' pick to win the conference. You think they'd take the night off against an established, veteran team like the Nets. You'd be wrong twice. So, just a fair warning: the Heat are a lose-lose proposition.

Onto the picks...
Boston at Washington (-7.0)
Boston. Here's to hoping Gilbert gets back on track. I think he does. Just not by seven points.

Cleveland (-4.0) at Charlotte
Cleveland. 82-0? Pass the Kool-aid. And I'm not sure, but I think LeBron went and got himself a jump shot. He was coming off screens and knocking them down, drilling one dribble pullups...if he finds a stroke, that's pretty much it, right? How crazy would it be if LeBron learned how to shoot and Michael Vick learned how to pass in the same week? We could see both GOATs grow up in the same week.

Memphis at Detroit (-7.0)
Detroit. This is based solely on how bad Mike Miller looks. I really can't get over it. Can't Stern University do something about this?

(By the way, if I had the resources, I would definetely print up a truckload of "Property of Stern U. XXL" T-shirts and sell them outside Mavericks game. I bet I'd sell a lot.

Indiana (-3.0) at New York
Indiana. Hey, its the old team Isiah ruined vs. the one he is currently ruining. Tomorrow, the Knicks take on the CBA.

I think you have to be firmly in one camp or another when it comes to the Knicks: definte success - like a 5-seed in the playoffs - or utter and abject failure. I'm firmly in the WWIII-esque camp. I mean, how fun will it be to see the Knicks battle for an 8-seed? Not very. We need a disaster!

Sacramento at Milwaukee (-2.0)
Sacramento. If Milwaukee loses to FC Barcelona and then finds a way to beat Kevin Martin and the Kings...well, it won't make too much sense, now will it? Seems like a perfect reason for it to happen then.

Dallas (-2.0) at Houston
Houston. The Mavs are the NBA's Seahawks - lose in the Finals, then find ways to blow it the following season. Well, probably not. But maybe.

While we're here, two quick player predictions from both teams.

First, Devin Harris will have a poor year. Harris caught a few teams by surprise last season with his quickness and explosiveness getting to the rim. But NBA teams are smart, and I think they'll figure Harris out: let him shoot. Back off him when he has the ball, go under screens, etc. He wants nothing to do with any FGA outside of 15 feet anyways. Once he gets a J, he could be tough. This season, though, he'ss struggle.

Prediction No. 2: Rockets rookie Steve Novack will have more 3's - and more total points - than JJ Redick. I thought the Rocket should have drafted JJ, but Novack is a crazy shooter, too - plus he's 6'10". He'll be an imporant role player in for the Rockets this season.

Golden State at Utah (-6.0)
Utah. Um, I have nothing to say since I've never seen either team play. I just think Utah is better and is going to cover a lot of spread this year. I wish I had NBA League Pass.

Do you think AK47 takes his wife up on her one groupie per year offer? Or do you think he's faithful? Or is he like everyone else in the NBA and just has three-ways whenever he feels like it? Do you think he tells her when he does it? And don't you think only having one night would make your obsession with other women worse? You'd obsess over it like you were buying a new car. I'm not sure I want to know the answer to these, but I thought I'd throw it out there anyways.

Minnesota (-3.0) at Portland
Minnesota. Against my better judgement. The Vikings and the T-Wolves confuse me. Freakin' Minnesota and its lakes and borders with Canada. What the hell is going on up there?!?!


Phoenix at LA Clippers (-3.0)
Phoenix. Is Jalen Rose playing? And is Jalen Rose the best remaining member of the Fab 5? I mean, Webber will have better career numbers and was a freakin monster in his prime, but how about now? Would the Suns trade Rose for Webber straight up? The fact that I am even debating this really shows how disapointing the end of C-Webb's career has been.

Last night: 6-7-0. Season: 8-7-0.