Thursday, November 02, 2006

Shawne Merriman Did Not Take Steriods, But Will Be Suspended, Anyways.

Shawne Merriman finally got around to dropping his appeal and will begin serving his four-game suspension for taking steriods. It was actually a smart move, because now he can play Denver at least once. If he would have held out longer, he would have missed both games against Denver because there was no way on God's green earth he was beating the suspension. And there is no one more important than Denver.

The whole thing raises a few questions, though:

1) Why does it take the NFL - or any sport, for that matter - so frickin' long to get around to hearing these appeals? Honestly, two weeks until his appeal is heard? I would think they could get this thing taken care of the next day, UPS-style. What exactly are they doing over there? Is NFL Legal so swamped with pressing issues that they couldn't possibly squeeze in the appeal of the league's sack leader on a steriods suspension? This should take precedence, no? I'm no expert, but I can't think of any other pending legal issues the NFL has to attend to. Nope. Not one.

I think the NFL is lazy. There's really no other explanation.

2) It's kinda crazy that one of the best player in football gets busted for 'roids and no one even cares. If, oh say...Albert Pooholes was found to be injecting a needle in his ass, people would be flipping out. What's the difference? I think this is American saying "We like football, not so much the baseball."

3)Merriman's reaction is bullshit and it makes me think he's 100% guilty. If you were accused of something you didn't do - I mean, anything - would you rationally just throw your hands up in the air and trot out the same old, tired reasons for your behavior? Or would you maybe be a little angry? If Merriman genuinely didn't take steriods, I'd imagine his press conference would include lots of swear words and exclamation points:

"This is bullshit! Bullshit! I didn't take anything! I mean, yea, I have the Romonowski-esque tackle box with about 112 pills per day in it, but who doesn't? Besides, they're all legal! Seriously, someone has to be messin' with me...I did not take steriods! The whole system is [expletive deleted] up! [Expletive deleted] this [expletive deleted]! This is a [expletive deleted] tragedy is what it is! Someone needs to be fired! Please believe me! Please! Please believe me! [Expletive deleted]!"
When you just causually say "Oh yea, well, ya know...I guess my supplements were tainted" you are basically just saying "Ya got me." So why not just 'fess up? Not that I care either way, I just don't like being lied to. I'm picky like that. And if you do have to lie, at least be creative. Gimme something to work with. That's just lazy.

(At least we know what Mr. Lights Out will be doing with his off time; scroll to the bottom.)

1 comments so far. Might as well add your own.:

Anonymous said...

I think this is American saying "We like football, not so much the baseball."

hahaha is that a borat reference?