Saturday, July 15, 2006

Dave Roethlisburger.

You know the movie Dave? President goes into a coma, so they find some look-a-like to to his place for a while? I think the Stillers are doing the same thing with Ben Roethlisberger. Here, take a look for yourself:

Before:

After:

Something just isn't right there, is it? I mean, yea, its close...but that's not Big Ben. My mom, of all people, pointed this out, and I think she's onto someting. Is it because he shaved the beard? Is he a little swollen still from the surgery? His eyes seem bigger, his cheeckbones a little more pronounced...a little plastic surgery, perhaps? I can't figure it out.

The weird thing is...he looks nicer. I can't figure out why that is, either, but I think I like him more this way. He looks approchable, like a cool uncle. Also, I have no idea what I'm talking about.

While we're here, though, a thought on Roethlisberger not wearing a helmet: Everyone shut up.

Seriously.

The guy doesn't wear a helemt. Get over it. It's not illegal. It wasn't in his contract. He's 21. It's his choice. You might not agree with it, and it might be safer to wear one, but that's his choice.

Sure, it can help save a life, but then why don't you wear one in the car? Granted, a motorcycle is inherently more dangerous than a car, but the principle still applies: If everyone in cars wore a helmet, there would be less fatalities.

So either start wearing a helmet in your car, or shut up.

And while you're at it, stop eating while you drive and fiddling with the radio and talking on your cell and speeding and pulling an Eddie Griffin. All those things jack up the odds of you getting in an accident.

Unless you drive with your hands at 10 and 12 all day, shut up.

3 comments so far. Might as well add your own.:

TheNumberZero said...

why dont you write something duke

Anonymous said...

nine days in unacceptable

can we plz get a new post

-an irrate fan-

forward4 said...

Im not gonna post as anonymous this time

your 'fans' are pissed

you promised us a post on tuesday night

get ur shit together POINT, get it together

sincerely,

sleepless in d.c.