We don't care about our own playoff preview.

On paper alone, the NBA playoffs look like they are going to be unreal. Forget matchups for a second (and only a second) and look at just the names in the playoffs: LeBron (for the first time!) Kobe, Nash, D-Wade, Melo, Dirk, Ginobili, The Matrix, The TruWarrior...andit just goes on and on, and on and on...like that Q-Tip song.

You know how in the NCAA Tourney, you fill out your bracket, and then something completely unexpected and enjoyable happens, but you feel kinda guilty rooting for it because it screws up your whole bracket? Well, we will have none of that in the NBA Playoffs. We're just enjoying them: they seem like they have too much potential to be off the charts to really care too much about who we picked (except LeBron. We love LeBron). But that's not gonna stop us from making predictions. Just the opposite. Just understand that we're making them, but that doesn't mean we care about them.

Onto the picks!

Spurs over Kings in 6. The Kings are good, and we think they match up fairly well with the Spurs to steal a game, maybe two. But the Spurs know what they're doing, nothing is going to surprise them or throw them off their game at the last second. they have bigger fish to fry than the Kings, but it should be fun to watch Manu and Artest going at it. Flopper vs. Crazy. Sounds like a good combination to us.

Suns over Lakers in 5. We have officially had enough of the Lakers Are Going To Upset The Suns Because of Kobe Theory. There is a reason the Suns are the 2 seed and the Lakers are the 7 seed: the Suns are good, the Lakers are OK. Phoenix beat the Lakers three times this season and their only loss came when Nash sat out. Bottom line: LA just can't keep up with the Suns. This series fails to live up to the hype.

Nuggets over Clippers in 7. Clips get home court, but no one who tanks a game - for any reason - is winning a playoff series. No one who truly understands winning would allow that to happen. Plus, Melo hits 2 - you know what, screw it: 3! - game winners this series, including a jab left, go right one dribble pullup from the left wing (how ya like that prediction?) to win the series in the final game.

Mavs over Grizzliesin 4. Gasol might be out, and even if he isn't, he needs to have the series of his life to get the Griz even a pair of wins. Is anyone playing better than Dirk right now? Man seems like he's on a mission. Statement series for the Mavs. (I'm sure I could have squeezed a beard joke in, but...we all know he has a beard. Let's move on.)

Pistons over Bucks in 4. Duh.

Heat over Bulls in 5. Ben Gordon gets hot - for a game. Besides that, Wade & Shaq show the 'new guys' how they roll in the playoffs. Miami gets plenty of time to rest before Round 2. Gordon and Dwyane Wade in the same series is fun as hell though. Brief but enjoyable.

Pacers over Nets in 7. My God, who cares? For some reason, this series makes us want to take a nap. Yea, the Nets are fun to watch, but Indiana isn't going to let them fast break all over the place in the playoffs. The half court sets are going to be brutal to watch. We say Jermaine O'Neal wants this badly; we save Vince Carter could really care less. We'll take the superstar who's hungrier, although we still aren't watching. Tell us who won.

Cavs over Wizards in 4. Now this is what we're watching! Bronny in the playoffs, baby! I'm two more sentences away from turning into Dick Vitale, with a capital D! OK, we're done, our apologies...but LeBron in the playoffs? We're officially giddy. And screw Washington, this is a team that had a chance to finish 7th - in the East, for the love of Dick Bevetta - on the last day of the playoffs. That means the Bulls and Pacers were pretty much just as good as them. Please. LeBron proves everyone wrong again as the Cavs sweep the Zards.


Alright, that was fun. Let us know your picks. Now let's get these games started. (And as much fun as this is, we still say, Screw the Conferences!)