Friday, April 28, 2006

Delmon Young, ninja.

We'll be the first ones to admit it: we've been slacking lately. You know that little post called "Night Three"? Well, aside from not being very good, it proclaimed that we'd be posting something about the playoffs every night. Every single night? Even we knew that wasn't going to happen.

Damnit. We always do this. We'll set our alarm for 6 a.m. and tell ourselves, "we are definetely getting up to do this paper." And then after the snooze has been hit 17 times and we're late for the class that the paper was due in, we think "well, that was bound to happen." Not getting up to do school work is actually more reliable than setting the alarm.

But something happened that is so insane, so once-in-a-lifetime, so "are you kidding me that really happened?" that we really had no choice. We feel like George Costanza after he eats Kramer's mango: "I'm back, baby!"

Here's what happened: The Tampa Bay Devil Ray's Delmon Young, one of the top prospects in the minors, threw his bat at the umpire after he struck out looking.

Words don't really do this justice; you have to see the video (which, if anyone has, we'd love to have). Young is walking away and he must say something to the ump, because the ump ejects him (doing his best Joey Crawford impression, by the way). Then, a split second after Young walks off camera, his bat comes flying out of nowhere and hits the ump in the shoulder/chest area.

Its really something else. That bat is thrown perfectly. It looks like it was tossed from a machine designed specifically to throw bats, like a tennis ball machine shooting out a tennis ball. The bat spins top over bottom, flawlessly. Young had to have practiced this. There's no other explanation. He's more than a five-tool player. He's a...well, he's a six-tool player. He can run, field, throw, hit for average, hit for power (yes, Biz, the Five Tools have been discovered) and throw bats like a ninja. Apparently, he threw the bat underhand, which is even more incredible, because the bat comes from off camera, and travels the length of the screen (which was, like, 18 inches on our TV) before hitting the ump. Speechless.

Luckily, the ump didn't get hurt, and he stayed in the game. But Young is suspended indefinetely. He's probably looking at a hefty suspension, but if it's more than five games, it's probably a little steep. Roberto Alomar got five games for spitting on an ump on national TV. Considering the ump didn't get hurt, what's worse: getting hit in the chest protector or having someone spit in your face? How degrading is it to be spit on? Personally, we'd rather be hit with the bat, but that's just us. Think about it: when your little brother threw something at you, you'd get ticked. But if he spit in your face? Oh, it was on.

Course, we wouldn't want to get hit with the bat, either.

Over/under on Delmon's suspension: 25 games. Any takers?

2 comments so far. Might as well add your own.:

kilcs said...

over 25 would be the best bet anyone has ever made. 25 games for throwing a BAT at an umpire would be like getting fined 10 K for blatanty kicking people off of hoops teams for their sexual orientation. he's done for the year. hasta be.

rockchalkin said...

Way Over. And what kind of name is Delmon? He sounds like he is part of the salmon family, like a distant cousin or something. I really wish the ump would have been Eric Craig because that bat would have bounced right off of him and hit Delmon right between the eyes.