WEEK 4 PICKS

Hey, look whats back after a two-week hiatus. Some picks!

Winners in bold.

Indianapolis (-8.5) at NY Jets
If JP Losman and can team up with Roscoe Parrish and Lee Evans to torch the Jets secondary, something is telling me Peyton and Marvin will figure out a way to get it done. The Bills figured out the blue print, the Colts will execute it!

On a side note: can Joseph Addai get it going please? Your fast, aren't you? Teams are freaking back peddling even before the snap. There's no threat of a run at all. You can't crack of 75 yards? And if you think I'm complaining because Shaun Alexander just trashed my fantasy backfield and my lack of foresight as Addai as my No. 3 back, well...you're right.

San Diego (-2.5) at Baltimore
Merriman vs. Lewis? The current GOAT vs. the future GOAT? Could be, could be. Hopefully Merriman can beat a murder rap as well as his mentor, too. Judging by San Diego's recent off the field antics, sounds like that's whats on tap. The Bengals might have the Bolts in quantity, but when it comes to quality, the Bolts are the team to beat. Getting shot four times by an off duty cop - and not haulting? Getting busted for shipping massive quantities of cough syrup to make lean? C'mon! They didn't even do that shit on Playmakers!

Minnesota at Buffalo (pick 'em)
This is the week the wheels come off in Lake Minatonka. I'm just not buying into Minny as a good team. And I think the Bills are on the semi-rise. You know, kinda like the calm before the storm.

Dallas (-10) at Tennessee
Vince Young makes his pro starting debut. The Dallas defense has a collective boner.

San Francisco (+7) at Kansas City
Who the hell would have guessed the Niners would ever be a touchdown favorite at any point during this season? On the road, none the less. This says more about how much KC sucks than how good San Fran is going to be. The offense has a chance to be downright frisky - Alex Smith starting to mature, The Biggest Head in the NFL emerging as a threat in the backfield, Antonio Bryant and Vernon Davis making plays in the passing game. Its not exactly the greatest show on turf, but those are some legitimate weapons, kinda.

New Orleans (+7) at Carolina
Is New Orleans for real? Or did they play two crappy teams and then win on pure emotion last week? I say a little of both. Take NO and the points.

Arizona (+7.5) at Atlanta
Its tough to say which QB played worse last week. Mike Vicked one-hopped more passes than Chuck Knoblock, but Kurt Warner fumbled the game away. Tough call, we'll give the nod to Kurt though. With Warner playing for his starting job, and the NL catching onto Atlanta's little option read play - idn't work so well last week vs. the NO, did it? - it says here The Buzzsaw keeps it close, but the ATL pulls out a close one off the foot of Morten Anderson. Morten then says something like "I remember kicking when the ball was actually made out of pigskin!" and the whole room pretends to laugh. Good times, good times.

Miami (-3.5) at Houston
How the hell is Miami getting over 3 points against anyone? I know Houston sucks, but are they worse than Tennesse? Miami only beat them by 3 - they barely escaped.

Duant Culpepper has been sacked more than anyone in the NFL; Mario Williams hasn't gotten a sack yet. Is this the week Super Mario pops his cherry? I say yes; Houston not only covers, but wins the game outright - big day from David Carr - and the game leads off Sports Center because Culpepper snaps and throws his helmet at Joey Harrington.

Detroit (-5.5) at St Louis
I think the Detroit offense is starting to get it. They aren't going to scre Roy Williams' desired 40 points, but they'll score enough to at least cover. Seems like the type of game where both teams do as much as they can to lose, and whoever messes up last loses. Those games are usually close. I'm taking the points.

New England (-5.5) at Cincinnati
New England either wins a close game, or Cincinnati absolutely blows them out of the water. There's no in between. This is either a Hey, We're Still Really Good Game for the Pats, or a Hey, We're Freakin' Monsters Game for the Bengals. As much as I'd like to see the Pats pull it off, I don't think its happening. Jake Plummer played well against them for God's sake. That's not a good sign. Cincinnati by 2+ touchdowns.

Jacksonville (-3) at Washington
This might be the lowest scoring game of the year. Both of these teams have frustratingly bad offenses. Frustrating because both sides have playmakers: Portis and Santana for the Naturally Indiginious People, Matt Jones and Maurice Jones-Drew for the Jags. For whatever reasons, they can't seem to put points on the board (and by "whatever reasons" I mean their respective QB's. Have you seen Leftwhich throw? He looks like Dontrelle Willis.)

The Jags D will make a couple plays and Mark Brunell will have to actually throw the ball more than four yards down field, which won't be beneficial for the Skins.

Cleveland (-3) at Oakland
Battle of the winless goes to Cleveland. Oakland is so atrocious. I'm just excited to see what stunt Joey Porter pulls. I've never cheered more passionately for a team to fail that I had no vested interest in more than the Raiders. I want them to go 0-16 so, s0 badly. I would be ecstatic. God make this happen.

Seattle (+3.5) at Chicago
With Shaun Alexander, the threat of the run is gone, and I think that's what allowed The Hasslebeck to pass so effectively. That, and Tom Coughlin being having Jeremey Shockey and the Giants completely unprepared. When the Bears face a one-demensional offense - no matter how good that demension is - I think that favors them. Even with all four of those B-list WRs running around.

Sexy Rext will do enough to get the Bears a solid win.

Green Bay (-11) at Philadelphia
If the Philly secondary was healthy, I'd take the Iggles in a heart beat. But they have four guys with nagging injuries; their entire secondary is in tatters. Favre 2.0 seems rejuvenated enough that he can sling it around enough to keep it close.

You know what? Scrap that. The Eagles are going to score on their first 5 possessions. Trailing, the Pack is gonna be forced to throw, and the Philly D line will be living in Green Bay's backfield. That means Favre forcing throws. That means good things for Philly.

Favre can't keep this up all season, can he? Monday Night seems like an appropriate time for the train to come flying off the tracks. I can't tell you how much I am looking forward to hearing John Madden defend Favre's 5th pick of the night.

Happy Sunday.