Tuesday, October 17, 2006

The Two Greatest Quotes of the Week

There's a couple of recent quotes that I think we need to discuss.

The first is about the Miami/FIU brawl. In case you were living under a rock last week, here it is.

Now, here's the quote:

"Now that's what I'm talking about. You come into our house, you should get your behind kicked. You don't come into the OB playing that stuff. You're across the ocean over there. You're across the city. You can't come over to our place talking noise like that. You'll get your butt beat. I was about to go down the elevator to get in that thing. I say, why don't they just meet outside in the tunnel after the ball game and get it on some more? You don't come into the OB, baby. We've had a down couple years, but you don't come in here talking smack. Not in our house."
That's former Miami player turned announcer Lamar Thomas during the Miami-FIU on-field brawl. He actually said this. During the fight (er, game). Live on air. He was watching the players kick eachother and throw punches and hit eachother with helmets and generally just forget that they were in the Orange Bowl in front of millions of people and not a Dade County bowling alley at 2 am.

First of all, I couldn't be less shocked that that's a Miami players take on the fight. And I'm not sure I totally disagree with it. He probably assumed FIU started it, and Miami was just defending themselves. While incredibly misguided, I can at least see where he's coming from. And you know what? That's fine - if you're sitting in your living room, alone. Or in a Dade County bowling alley at 2 am. But when you are live on-air? C'mon now Lamar. You just gotta know you are gettin fired if you say something like that, regardless of whether its right or wrong. Now would be the time to insert a joke about the typical intelligence level of your average graduate from The U, but I think we all get it.

I just want to see the reaction of Lamar's announcing partner. In the audio clip, you can hear him nervously laughing. Wonder if he's thinking if there is a way to stop him, or he was thinking, "You know what? This jackass is more annoying than Michael Irvin. I'm just letting him go."

And here's quote No. 2, as John Clayton reported it, because it sounds even funnier the way he words it. Also, I'm adding more "!'s" where I see fit:
"The Bears are what we thought they were," Green said, his voice beginning to rise. "They are what we thought they were. We played them in the preseason. Who the hell plays the third game in the preseason like it's bullshit?!?!?! Bullshit!!!! We played them in the third game. Everybody played three quarters.

"The Bears are who we thought they were!!!!!!!!!!" he continued, yelling at the top of his lungs while pounding on the podium. "That's why we took the damn field. If you want to crown them, just crown their ass!!!!!!! They are who we thought they were and we let them off the hook!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Um, what the hell is Denny Green talking about? "They are who we thought they were?" What does that even mean?

Weren't the Bears the exact opposite of who you thought they were? Did you expect to pass all over them? Did you expect to have a 20 point lead at any point? Did you expect Sexy Rexy to have six turnovers, zero of which you were able to meaningfully take advantage of?

And this whole "we let them off the hook" business? What is he referring to. I really hope he doesn't mean missing that field goal at the end of the game. Because if the Cardinals would have really, really tried to score touchdowns after jumping out 14-0, they might have hung 35 points on the Bears. I'm not even kidding; Leinart was killing them.

Dennis Green has me so pissed off about this game, and I don't even know why. I can't believe the conservative shell he went into. They might as well have taken three kneels and punted; at least more time would have run off the clock. Even Marty Schottenhiemer was embarrassed.

Damnit, Denny: you have me pissed off about a Cardinals/Bears game. What the hell.

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