Wednesday, July 12, 2006

New Faces, New Places.

There's been alot of player movement lately, hasn't there? What's that? You feel a little confused? You need it all sorted out for you? What's that? You want a nice, tidy list of the most important moves? Fine, fine...but only because it's you. I wouldn't do this for anyone else. Just you.

The Most Important Moves of the Off Season, So Far, In Descending Order:

The New Ball. The NBA unveils a new ball for no real good reason. The grips better, I guess. Whatever. It looks cool. Point23 approves. Matters.

Mike Gansey signs a 2 year deal with the Heat. I'm telling you, this matters. In 10 years, when they do the "How Everyone Should Have Been Drafted" thing, Gansey will be in the top 10. He'll be a solid role player on a championship-caliber team(s), while 75% of this draft is flipping burgers. (Actually, they all went to college. Hmm. They'll all be managers. At burger joints.) Plus, he might wear a t-shirt in an NBA game. Have I mentioned this yet?

Tyson Chandler for PJ and JR. The Bulls get a tall guy who can actually put the ball in the basket, so thats nice. Plus they have Mr. Unlimited Potential in JR Smith. The NOOCH get a tall neck beard to play some D. Whatever.

Lakers sign Vlad Rad. Kobe has a shooter now. Like he's passing anyways. Even though the Lakers needed a shooter, if Vlad is starting for you, you aren't that good. Good job though. Filled a need. Hopefully Mr. Tumnus takes advantage of it.

Peja signs with NOOCH. Peja should fit in offensively for the NOOCH - but not for 64 million dollars over 5 years. Are you kidding me? This makes the Nene deal look responsible. That...that's just too much money. You do that deal if you are a piece away from a conference or league title. Not too get you into the playoffs. How good does the NOOCH think they are? I think they they are a legit contender, they're kidding themselves. This isn't the NFL; you don't go from not making the playoffs to winning it all.

I like the NOOCH bringing in Bobby Jackson though. I always liked his game, even in college with Minnesoata. (By the way, I can't believe I'm old enough that I remember guys playing in college who are close to retiring - or actually retiring. Kinda freakin myself out right now.)

Nene gets 60 million (dollars!) from the Nuggets. Cripes. I don't even know what to make of this...Just like with the Peja deal, I'd like to see what the next closest offer was. Was it even in the ballpark? I mean, now that Isiah has had his checkbook snatched away (kinda like a wife who spends too much money on shoes and manicures...kinda pathetic, no?), who's out there making outlandish offers? I hope for the Nuggest sake he bounces back from that torn ACL and they find a taker for K-Mart. Personally? I'm not seeing it...is Nene bringing a ring to the Rockies?

Jason Terry re-ups with the Mavs. So Jason Terry gets 10 mil less than Nene - 50 mil over 6 years. But JET is a proven player who took your team to the Finals. I like where your heads at, Dallas. Smart move. Man's entering his prime, he's clutch, and he's the only person who can make a Cheryl Miller interview bearable. Who woulda thought he'd be the best player off of Arizona's national championship team? (I had my money on AJ Bramlet.)

Speedy decides to spend four years in priso...er, the ATL. Hey, the Hawks have a PG! He's not going to be anAll Star or anything, but the fact that they got someone that good to sign there is a borderline miracle. Honestly, would you want to play there? The courts are telling them who they can sign for the love of Dominique. But really...this really, really helps, I think. Speedy at the 1, Joe Johnson at the 2, and then a bunch of 6-7, 6-9 types in the front court. Too bad they drafted Sheldon. Baby steps, Atlanta...baby steps.

Austin Croshere for Marquie Daniels. Straight up. Seriously - this happened. If this happened in a fantasy league, it would be vetoed instantly. I guess I see where Dallas is coming from...but not really. Yea, Daniels didnt play that much and was making a decent chunk of change, but you just gave him away - and he's good. You coulda gotten more, fellas. Croshere is an absolute waste. He'll never play, ever. Morons. Indiana has to be stoked. They're pretty damn athletic now, plus they don't have Croshere, who just seems like he'd be annoying as hell and a big dork. Although Daniels looks like a hammerhead, so it might be a wash. Whatever...the Mavs screwed up.

Indiana is a better team this year. Now with Daniels and Danny Granger, Year 2 and Stephen Jackson, that's a pretty nice back court, providing Anthony Johnson plays like he did agaisnt the Nets in the first round. JO on the block...maybe Harrington coming in? Say what you will about Jermaine O'Neal, but he's have a bona fide go to guy. I'd love to have him on my team (actually, I'd love to have a team...that would be pretty neat, wouldn't it?) and he's going to have a huge year this year. Mark my words.

Mike James signs with the T-Pups. Atta boy, McHale! Now this is a playoff team! Actually, this team still sucks, but KG had better get it in the playoffs. An 8 seed, something. They are set at the 1 with James and Foy. KG needs to keep the legelally insane Ricky Davis in line and Eddie Griffin's hands out of his pants (Seriously, KG, tell him about the groupies. Be a leader, for God's sake.) and this team has some serious sleeper potential. Love the Mike James signing, though; can't say enough about it.

Clippers land Mr. Hot Fingers. I think Donald Sterling is getting the hang of this thing! You lose a shooter...you replace him. Really a good job. After they lost Radmonovich, they signed a better version of him. Tim Thomas could start for them. He's better than Cuttino is. Really. As long as his head stays on straight (no promises, though) this is a GREAT signing. And ifhe stops doing that "Oh, my fingers are so hot! I better blow them off!" routine, all the better. Maybe he can show Daniel Ewing how to be taller, too.

Honestly, Tim Thomas could get the Clippers to the Conference Finals, if not to the Finals. Yea, Phoenix gets Amare back, but will he be there all year? And the same player he was? Plus, Nash is a year older...Something to think about.

The Bulls steal Big Ben away from the Pistons. The 'fro of the Pistons stays in-conference. HAHA. God, I can't wait to watch the Bulls run all over the Pistons. Flip Saunders is getting fired this year. He'll maintain that the Pistons can play offense with everyone else, which is a very, very bad idea. How are they going to score? Billups shooting pull up 3's? Rip running off screens? Sheed doing whatever the hell he wants? Nope. They started slacking on D and Big Ben covered there asses all year. Unless they commit to the defensive end, they are toast. Has a team ever gone from 4 All Stars one year to none the next?

Oh yea, the Bulls got better. They still can't win a title with that team. They need a stud. Although I guess we said the same thing about the Pistons, and they won...but that was before the offensive rule changes. They need someone they can just throw the ball to - whether it be on the wing or the block - and just get a duece or a trip to the FT line. The Final Four last year all had at least one of those guys. Until they get one, they're just a team to be scared as hell of.

The Class of '03 is smart. Well, Bronny is the smartest. They're all following his lead. But they are setting themselves up for some big paydays. And the more I think about it, they aren't in the best situations. Melo's team just signed Nene for 10 mil a year. The Heat, minus Shaq, are a freakin' trainwreck. Once he's gone, I don't think I'd wanna be there either. And yea, the Raps are making an effort...but they drafted a girl with their first pick. And one wrong fall, and their PG is permanently retired. So Bosh isn't safe, either, although he's the lone one of the quartet not to copy LeBron. Yet. Just goes to show you: LeBron's always one step ahead of the game.

1 comments so far. Might as well add your own.:

Zero said...

u totally beat me too this...i just about to post something captain kirk, the savior of the US

these kids are driving me nuts