Sunday, May 28, 2006

The "You're Not Invited to My Party" List

There are, for a plethora of reasons, athletes - or just people associated with sports - who get under your skin.

You know exactly who I'm talking about; I'm sure four or five people immediately popped into your head. They can be obnoxious, brash, too loud, too quiet, over-the-top cocky or under-the-radar unassuming. They can be perennial choke artists or continually come through in the clutch with the minor drawback that they play for your archrival. They can run run thier mouths, saying (or writing) some of the dumbest, thoughtless, most idiotic things you've ever heard. Or they can say nothing at all. Maybe they do nothing at all and you just can't stand them. For whatever reason, they get under your skin, but you can't put your finger on the reason why.

That's what this list is for. All these people need to be rounded up, grouped together and exposed for what they really are - annoying pests who drive you crazy for a million reasons - or none at all.

Some are no-brainers that immediatley jump to mind. These are the people who can barely be defended by thier hometown crowds: Barry Bonds, Terrell Owens, Jay Mariotti, anyone associated with Duke University, the immortal Paul Maguire. But there are other, less obvious ones. Chris Paul, for example is on my eternal shitlist for punching Julius Hodge in the balls from the blindside (he was the original Reggie Evans/Jason Terry).

Now that's not to say your mind can't be swayed. Maybe through years of rehabilition, Shawshank-style, this person can redeem themselves. But to get on this list, the possibility of that happening has to be between non-existant and slim.

So who's on your list, people? If you were throwing a party, who shouldn't be lookin' for their invite in the mail?

Let's hear 'em. Give a good reason and I'll add 'em to The List.

2 comments so far. Might as well add your own.:

#.four said...

doug collins, simply because it would be way too uncomfortable with him in the room with that new hair style and not being able to make fun of him. him and skip bayless can be sent on a slow ship to somewhere far away.

rockchalkin said...

The entire San Antonio Spurs and Detriot Pistons organizations, with one exception....


Roy Williams, for obvious reasons
Vince Young and Pozlunsky, same
Justin Zwick, dont even get me started
Barbaro, its a horse people
..just to name a few...

Who would be coming to my party..
(in no particular order)

- The 3 Kings of the U (James, McGahee, Portis)
- Barkley
- Damon Jones
- Josh Charles
- Larry David
- Donnell Rawlings (Ashy Larry)
- The Bellows Heckler Guys
- Hugh Laurie
- Jimmy Kimmell
- Simien, Hinrich, Clarrett, Krenzel, Tressell, Ginn, Jr.
- Larry Cole

...its a start