Just three games on the slate for tonight, but there's some good ones. Well, two anyways. Let's get to 'em.
Chicago at Cleveland (-4.0)
Cleveland. LeBron? On national TV? He'll show up.
But why doesn't anyone mention this with Cleveland? If any team is the poster child for deferring to its star player, its the Cavs. Do you remember the Cavs offense last year in the playoffs? You know, give the ball to Bron Bron and get the fuck out the way? (Sorry to swear like that right there - I'm really trying not to do that - but the offense was that ridiculous.) Now they have this motion offense, which is nice, but when it comes down to it, its still give it to Bron, but now you only have to get the hell out of the way. Baby steps, I guess.
Big matchup in this game, I think, is on the boards between Ben Wallace and Drew Gooden. If Gooden keeps it competitive, Cavs should win.
Oh yea, the Eric Snow Match Up of the Night: Kirk Hinrich. Yea. The Bulls actually have two point guards that are better than snow. Cripes.
Dallas at Phoenix (-5.0)
Dallas. Phoenix has a pretty bad habit of blowing late-game leads. So far this season they've blow leads of 19, 15, 9 and 9. Probably why they are 1-4. But that's going to happen; when you don't really focus on defense and just try to outscore your opponents, leads will come and go. If your shots aren't falling, you can't maintain a lead. Feast or famine, basically.
As bad as Dallas is playing, Phoenix will keep them in it. Dallas was gettin their ass beat at this time last night; PHX was playing a hard-fought OT game. And Dallas has to be a little more desperate. I hope they are, anyways.
NOOCH at Golden State (-2.0)
NOOCH! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOCH! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCH!!!
Last night: 5-6. Season: 24-22-2.
Thursday, November 09, 2006
Tonight in the Association
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
The Trent Green Corollary
You know what I would do if I was the Texans and i was unsure if David Carr was my quarterback of the future? Or if I was the Raiders and wanted to improve Andrew Walters? Or if I was the Jaguars and needed to resolve the burgeoning quarterback debate between David Gerrard and Byron Leftwhich?
I would trade for Trent Green.
Look at that! Three for three. That really is remarkable; he's like a recyclable Wally Pipp. Judging by his track record, I'm penciling in the Chiefs for at least an appearance in the Divisional Playoffs, if not further. Tonight in the Association
Somehow, I am still barely above .500. I thought by now I'd be lucky to have double figure wins. Its crazy to me that in the NBA, where players and teams are notorious for just randomly taking nights off and playing poorly because its their third game in a row on the road or something, that I could still be above .500. Meanwhile, when I try to pick NFL game, where its assumed everyone plays as hard as they can every Sunday, that I am no where near .500. I give up.
Onto the picks...
Indiana at Washington (-5.0)
Indiana. This is from Gilbert Arenas' blog:
"Yeah, I played two of the rookies to get my confidence up. They got beat 7-3.
Andray Blatche and James Lang. One was guarding me out on the perimeter; one was
waiting for me to get into the lane. Two straight fouls is an automatic point,
but they didn’t actually get to that. I didn’t get any free points that way, I
was trying, but … I was going for everything; layups, jump shots, they couldn’t
do anything with me."
There is no way that is true. I refuse to believe that. Gilbert's good, but c'mon...if he's beating people 2-on-1, shouldn't the Pacers get to start six guys tonight? I enjoy Gilbert, but for some reason this seems like too much. Calm down, homie. No need to make shit up and make two rooks look like jackasses.
Philadelphia at Toronto (-3.5)
Toronto. Early season MVP for AI? Sure. But sooner or later, the wheels are coming off. Iverson really is amazing. How he's keeping this team competitive is beyond me.
Seattle at Orlando (-7.0)
Orlando. I really want to believe in Orlando. Just think if Orlando is competing for the division in a few months: we'll have Sports Center stories on Dwight Howard's quest
to get a crucifux embedded into the NBA logo. Does he still want to do this? Or was that just a high school pipe dream? And did anyone ask The Logo how he felt about this?
Charlotte at Boston (-5.5)
Charlotte. Has Boston won yet? Is all that young talent going to be good? I wish there was a die hard NBA fan with a national column who could enlighten me.
Utah at New Jersey (-3.5) Utah.There is a lot of chatter about Utah winning the division and maybe even getting to the Finals. Um, can we calm down here for a second? They didn’t even make the playoffs last year. I realize that they barely missed the playoffs and it was a big disappointment and all, but the Finals? I think we are jumping the gun a wee bit. Yea, AK47 and Boozer are good, and Okur is good, too: a formidable front line.
Houston at Milwaukee (-2.0)
Houston. Shouldn't the Rockets just be unreal? They have two, arguably three, completely unguardable players and the best glue guy in the league. But somehow they aren't consistant. There is no way that is either Yao or Battier's fault. None. Bonzi hasn't been there long enough to have changed the team's attitude. This is either T. Mac or Skip to My Lou's fault. Both have a history of really not caring. Maybe its both of them, I don't know.
Phoenix at San Antonio (-5.5)
Phoenix. Could Bruce Bowen be a bigger prick? Honestly, what an absolute asshole. Who does something like that. Look at the names on his hit list: Ray Allen, Kobe Bryant, Vince Carter and now Steve Francis. How can anyone argue that he is not intentionally putting his foot under jump shooters feet? Its absolutely, unequivically delibrate. He needs fined and suspended. He is easily the biggest prick in the NBA. I'd take TO on my team before I took BB. I hope Shawn Marion cold cocks him.
And how can Stern continue to let this happen? Look at the names on that list again: you're telling me it is better for business to let Bruce Bown run around maiming people than it is to have those guys on the court? What happens when Bowens does it to, say, LeBron (who absolutely bitched him in San Antonio, by the way) or Dwyane Wade? It is only a matter of time, becuase the older he gets, the more "crafty" he is going to have to be. And this is about as crafty as it gets.
New York at Denver (-.10.5)
Denver. When you are struggling a bit and need to pick things up, is there anything better than seeing the Knicks on the schedule? At your place? Its like a B-12 shot; completely invigorating.
(Full disclosure: I've never had a B-12 shot, but apparently they are phenomenal. Can you get these whenever you want? Do they have to be presecribed? Are you high all day, or do you just have a ton of energy? If they are so great, why aren't people getting injected with their morning coffee? Anyone?)
LA Lakers (-5.0) at Portland
LA Lakers. Is Kobe really that hurt? Is he going to be scoring like 18 points all year? Because if so, that sucks. Why doesn't he take a month off, get 100% and then come back like gangbusters? Or is this one of those things that no matter how much he rests, it won't get better until he can take all summer off? I think he should take as much time as he needs: LA starts the season with 15 out of their first 20 games at home and Lamar, Andrew & Co. seem to be holding things down. Last year, when I wanted less Kobe, he was on TV more than TO. Now that I want to see the Mamba every night, he's playing at 75%. Figures.
And how about Tex Winter telling Phillip to sit Kobe - through an e-mail? For some reason, that's just really great to me. Tex couldn't just hop on the phone? I didn't even think someone that old could use a computer. I'm impressed on a few levels.
Dallas at LA Clippers (-3.0)
Clippers. The Mavs have to get one tonight, don't they? Well, maybe not. They are going without Josh Howard and they have the incredibly bad karma of raising a completely meaningless banner. Did they all get rings, too? I'm telling you: they are the NBA's version of the Seahawks. I'll give it three weeks before Dirk has a stress fracture in his left foot a month until Bonzi Wells rolls into Jason Terry's knee.
Detroit at Sacramento (-1.0)
Sacramento. The West Coast trip from hell keeps getting worse for the Pistons. Sweet.
Last night: 3-3-0. Season: 19-16-2.
Tuesday, November 07, 2006
Marty Burns' Power Rankings Confuse Me
Marty Burns writes the NBA power rankings over at SI.com. I'm sure Mr. Burns has watched much, much more NBA basketball than I have and I bet he knows alot more about it that I do. But his power rankings just confused the hell out of me. So I'm just gonna put them
OK, when Marty wrote this, there was still three undefeated teams in the NBA and the Spurs had lost a nationally-televised game on their home court. Fine - the Spurs are a solid choice. After all, let's give them credit for beating an 0-3 team and the Knicks. Very impressive, right? And let's completely ignore how the Cavs handled them on their homecourt. Do we all agree to do this? Fine. Moving on...1. San Antonio Spurs (2-1)They gained a measure of revenge with that opening-night win at Dallas. Tim Duncan and Manu Ginobili look healthier this season, and Francisco Elson already adds some needed frontcourt quickness.
2. Cleveland Cavaliers (2-1) Yes, they beat the Spurs in San Antonio. But it came on the second night of a back-to-back for the Spurs, and Saturday's loss at Charlotte means they automatically forfeit any claim to the top spot in these rankings.So if two teams have the exact same record, and Team A beat Team B head to head, shouldn't team A be ranked higher than them? Are we sure Marty didn't create the BCS, too?
Finally, an undefeated team makes Marty's power rankings. Isn't the point of these rankings to show who has been most impressive so far? Wouldn't a team with no losses be more impressive than a team with one?3. New Orleans Hornets (3-0)Chris Paul and his new-look squad gave their old fan base a treat with Sunday's win over the Rockets at New Orleans Arena. It also kept them perfect after impressive road wins at Boston and Indianapolis.
And yes, I realize these things are arbitrary and stupid, but this guy writes for freakin' Sports Illustrated. Sports Illustrated. I just think...oh, who the hell cares.
Tonight in the Association
Atlanta at Cleveland (-10.5)
Cleveland. I have a theory that I would rather have any other starting point guard in the NBA than Eric Snow. Rather than just glossing over some rosters and making up my mind in 4 minutes, I'm going to compare Snow to his counterpart each night. Tonight he goes against Speedy Claxton, who is the complete opposite of Snow, which makes him better. 1-1.
Philadelphia at Indiana (-4.5)
Indiana. Philly is starting out on fire, aren't they? They're gunning for Surprise Team of the Year right out of the gate. I've got a sneaking suspiscion that Indiana is that team, though. We'll see tonight.
Seattle at Miami (-4.5)
Seattle. I really don't get why Seattle is so bad. They have the best shooter in the league, one of the best rebounders, a versatile inside-outside threat, a point guard who can push the ball and find people. Oh, they have absolutely no one inside? Well then, Shaq should get the Heat the win. Wait - Shaq is faking a knee injury so he only has to play 30 games this year? Oh. Well, no Daddy inside means Miami loses its prime advantage over Seattle. And a percieved weak opponent flying cross-country seems like exactly the team the Heat really could care less about.
And I'm really glad I drafted Shaq on my fantasy team. He'll look really god at the end of my bench. Lazy bastard.
Houston. I bet Rudy Gay and Hakim Warrick goofing around after practice is really fun to watch. They should be teammates in the dunk contest. Those two should make one of those Powerade commercials where they are dunking from half court and jumping over the backboard and shooting through the rim without disturbing the net (they are freakishly athletic, but they are still skinny as hell).
The Rockets are just going to out talent the Grizz, though. Yao doesn't know you are allowed to take every third night off in the NBA without anyone questioning you.
Golden St. at NOOCH (-7.5)
NOOCH. Let down game after upsetting the Mavs. Plus, I like saying NOOCH!
Minnesota at LA Lakers (-8.0)
Minnesota. Eight points seems like too much, especially with Kobe not at 100% and Lamar & Co. still trying to figure out how to play with Kobe. If those two ever get on the same page, watch out.
Last night: 4-2-1. Season: 16-13-2.
Monday, November 06, 2006
Tonight in the Association
Took Sunday off - as long as the NFL is in full swing, that's gonna be the pattern.
Onto the picks...
Washington at Orlando (-3.0)
Orlando. Good to see Gilbert got his stroke back. But Orlando has to have a little pride after losing to the Hawks, right?
Oh: Is JJ Redick hurt? Is he playing? I don't feel like looking it up, but I want to know, so can someone who knows just tell me?
San Antonio (-6.5) at New York
San Antonio. They can't set this line high enough.
Milwaukee at Chicago (-6.0)
Chicago. Freakin' Bulls. I don't know. Depends if they are making their jumpers. I hope they do tonight.
Golden State at Dallas (-10.0)
Dallas. Hey Dirk? Let's get the Mavs off the snide, eh?
Detroit at Utah (-5.0)
Detroit. Utah wins, but the Pistons keep it close. Free Sheed!
Minnesota at Sacramento (-4.5)
Sacramento. Kevin Martin drops 35. Mark it down.
Portland at LA Clippers (-11.5)
Portland. Brandon Roy continues his ROY campaign.
Saturday: 4-4-1. Season: 12-11-1.
Saturday, November 04, 2006
Tonight in the Association
Onto the picks...
Boston at Washington (-7.0)
Boston. Here's to hoping Gilbert gets back on track. I think he does. Just not by seven points.
Cleveland (-4.0) at Charlotte
Cleveland. 82-0? Pass the Kool-aid. And I'm not sure, but I think LeBron went and got himself a jump shot. He was coming off screens and knocking them down, drilling one dribble pullups...if he finds a stroke, that's pretty much it, right? How crazy would it be if LeBron learned how to shoot and Michael Vick learned how to pass in the same week? We could see both GOATs grow up in the same week.
Memphis at Detroit (-7.0)
Detroit. This is based solely on how bad Mike Miller looks. I really can't get over it. Can't Stern University do something about this?
(By the way, if I had the resources, I would definetely print up a truckload of "Property of Stern U. XXL" T-shirts and sell them outside Mavericks game. I bet I'd sell a lot.
Indiana (-3.0) at New York
Indiana. Hey, its the old team Isiah ruined vs. the one he is currently ruining. Tomorrow, the Knicks take on the CBA.
I think you have to be firmly in one camp or another when it comes to the Knicks: definte success - like a 5-seed in the playoffs - or utter and abject failure. I'm firmly in the WWIII-esque camp. I mean, how fun will it be to see the Knicks battle for an 8-seed? Not very. We need a disaster!
Sacramento. If Milwaukee loses to FC Barcelona and then finds a way to beat Kevin Martin and the Kings...well, it won't make too much sense, now will it? Seems like a perfect reason for it to happen then.
Dallas (-2.0) at Houston
Houston. The Mavs are the NBA's Seahawks - lose in the Finals, then find ways to blow it the following season. Well, probably not. But maybe.
While we're here, two quick player predictions from both teams.
First, Devin Harris will have a poor year. Harris caught a few teams by surprise last season with his quickness and explosiveness getting to the rim. But NBA teams are smart, and I think they'll figure Harris out: let him shoot. Back off him when he has the ball, go under screens, etc. He wants nothing to do with any FGA outside of 15 feet anyways. Once he gets a J, he could be tough. This season, though, he'ss struggle.
Golden State at Utah (-6.0)
Utah. Um, I have nothing to say since I've never seen either team play. I just think Utah is better and is going to cover a lot of spread this year. I wish I had NBA League Pass.
Do you think AK47 takes his wife up on her one groupie per year offer? Or do you think he's faithful? Or is he like everyone else in the NBA and just has three-ways whenever he feels like it? Do you think he tells her when he does it? And don't you think only having one night would make your obsession with other women worse? You'd obsess over it like you were buying a new car. I'm not sure I want to know the answer to these, but I thought I'd throw it out there anyways.
Minnesota (-3.0) at Portland
Minnesota. Against my better judgement. The Vikings and the T-Wolves confuse me. Freakin' Minnesota and its lakes and borders with Canada. What the hell is going on up there?!?!
Phoenix at LA Clippers (-3.0)
Phoenix. Is Jalen Rose playing? And is Jalen Rose the best remaining member of the Fab 5? I mean, Webber will have better career numbers and was a freakin monster in his prime, but how about now? Would the Suns trade Rose for Webber straight up? The fact that I am even debating this really shows how disapointing the end of C-Webb's career has been.
Last night: 6-7-0. Season: 8-7-0.
Friday, November 03, 2006
The Picks: Week 9
Look at the parity heading into Week 9:
Point23: 22-28-4
Kilcs: 22-28-4
Mr. 'Em: 22-28-4
Zero: 22-28-4
That's pretty remarkable, isn't it? Well, remarkable in the sense that all four of us have identical records and that's pretty improbable; not remarkable in like...you know, being remarkable. Well under .500. Poor effort by us. We should have to run some laps or something.
I think our records would be a little better if I would stop irrationally picking the 49ers, if Mr. 'Em would stop irrationally picking the Dolphins (0-7 against the spread. 0-7!), if Kilcs didn't let his fantasy players make his picks for him and if Zero stopped picking NBA games.
But hey: we ain't quitters. This week is dedicated to Avis: we try harder!
Onto the picks...
Kansas City at St. Louis (-2.0)
Point23: Kansas City. I don't know why the Chiefs are good, but apparently they are. And yes, this is a spite pick because Simmons pissed me off. (Say what you will about Simmons - and I have - but no one previews the NBA better than he does. And his Friday NFL columns are the best. I wish he'd just stick to that stuff and not be so condescending all the time.)
Kilcs: St. Louis. Kansas City seems to be two different teams depending on where the game is played. Despite the fact that Huard is proving himself ot be a competend NFL QB and Larry Johnson is returning to form, I think the Rams have too much fire power on offense and will win in a high scoring affair.
Mr Em: Rams. Damon Huard has been playing like a Pro Bowler (Steelers game excluded) since he's replaced Trent Green, and I believe he's earned the starting job (8 tds, 1 int, 100.4 rating). Teams haven't been able to put 8 in the box to stop LJ because of Huard's effectiveness, and Kansas City's run game has benefited from that significantly. Neither team will be able to stop the other in this game, but I like the Rams because of home field advantage and I believe their offense can match whatever number KC puts up.
TheNumberZero: St. Louis. I think that the all-night-partying-with-porn-stars-Chiefs team is gonna show up. Herm Edwards can’t be too happy about that.
Point23: Cincinnati. The Ravens have the most overrated secondary in the NFL. Ocho Cinco and TJ Doushmanzadeh expose it and completely ignore Rudi Johnson in the process. Do you think he gets pissed after the game when they are all hanging out? I bet he just sits there all quiet, but one of these times, he's gonna snap.
Kilcs: Cincy. Baltimore just whipped New Orleans, but I think the next few weeks will show that the Saints aren't the team that everyone hoped they would be. I think the Bengals have the most talent in the AFC North and their D will cause some turnovers.
Me Em: Ravens. Ocho Cinco might be turning into a Bengal Tiger, but he still plays like a pussycat. Ravens will control the game by winning the battle in the trenches, and like Jaws says, that. is. why. they'll win this game.
TheNumberZero: Baltimore. If you can win at the Saints, then you can beat the Bengals at home.
Houston at NY Giants (-13.0)
Point23: Giants. I think there's a very real chance to Brandon Jacobs shatters someones helmet with his knee in this game. I know this isn't anything new. but Jacobs is huge. I can't get over it. Its like the Giants suited up Dwight Howard.
Kilcs: NY. David Carr at the Meadowlands after being pulled for Sage Rosenfels. Not exactly a lot to be excited about if you're a Houston fan. At least Reggie Bush isn't as goodin real life as he is in Madden. The Giants are my pick for the 2 seed in the NFC playoffs.
Mr Em: Oilers. Put the damn oil rig back on the helmet already, Texans is just plain stupid. Giants have covered in their last four games. Houston's a bad, bad, bad team. One thing I've learned about the NFL is to expect the unexpected. So get naughty and slap them points on me!!!!!!!!
TheNumberZero: NY Giants. Baaaaaaaaaalllllllllllllllllllllinnnnnnn.
Tennessee at Jacksonville (-9.5)
Point23: Tennessee. If Jacksonville plays Atlanta, does the universe implode? I have no idea what either of those two teams are made of. I just don't see David Gerrard beating a team - any team - by 10.
Kilcs: Tennessee. Jacksonville is more the team that they were against Philly than the team they played against the Texans a couple of weeks ago, but they don't blow teams out. Ten points is still a lot in the NFL and the Titans have played very competitive football since the Indy game. That continues on Sunday.
Mr. Em: The Jaguar bushes. I really like the Jaguars defense, and Garrard can get outside of the pocket and make some plays with any of his limbs. Freddy Taylor still has some gas in his tank, but I really think Maurice Jones-Drew is going to be a stud in this league for years to come.
TheNumberZero: Jacksonville. By 10. As long as fatty Leftwich isn’t playing. He can’t even make it over the wall on Battle of the NFL Superstars. 
Point23: Washington. Because it makes no sense, that's why.
Kilcs: Dallas. Joe Gibbs will be back in NASCAR next year and Bill Parcells might not be on the sidelines either, but Romo has rejuvenated him as well as TO. Dallas wins this and creates some separation between the haves (Dallas and NYG) and have nots (Wash and Philly) in the NFC East.
Mr. Em: Cowboys. Dallas finally has what the Redskins cannot defend, and that is the pass. The Cowboys went from a team that looked like they had no chance of making the playoffs against the Giants and Panthers (for a quarter and a half), to a team that realistically can win their division.
TheNumberZero: Dallas. I like the fact that the entire NBA is sponsored by adidas. I think that is gonna be a good move. I like the three stripes on the back of the warm-ups and on the ref shirts.
Green Bay at Buffalo (-3.0)
Point23: Green Bay. I can't believe Buffalo is favored in this game. Did I miss something? I think Louisville could beat Buffalo.
Kilcs: Green Bay. Get on the bandwagon. With the way the NFL is set up, bad teams play other bad teams. So the better of the bad teams will wind up with a respectable record at the end of the season. Favre throws 3 more TDs and inches closer to breaking Skinny's record. Go Deep! (Papa John's!) (What a sellout Marino's become)
Mr Em: Buffalo. Logic tells Mr. Em to take the Packers given their 3-0 record against terrible teams - Lions, Dolphins, and Cardinals, but Mr. Em says the hell with logic! I don't want the points!!!!!!!
TheNumberZero: Cheeseheads. What a boring game. Jennings better play and have 2 scores and 150 yards.
Point23: New Orleans. When someone says "Tampa Bay" my first thought is John Gruden and then...blank. I don't think that's a good thing. (OK, Ronde Barber, Cadillac, Gradkowski. Yea. That's a lot better, isn't it?)
Kilcs: Tampa Bay. If Reggie Bush doesn't play, New Orleans is a totally different team. He's not as good as he is in Madden in real life, but he makes defenses have to be aware of him. Even if he does play, Tampa's due for a win at home and I think that Caddy has a semi-break out game this week.
Mr. Em: Bucs. After getting off to a rocky start, the Bucs have won 2 straight games at home against decent teams - Cincy and Philly. Tampa will avenge their 24-21 loss at New Orleans earlier this year. Just gimme that point and a half!!!!!!!!
TheNumberZero: Saints. Rebound. Speaking of rebounding, how bout D-Ho. I think that if he was on the National Team then they win it all. He would eat Baby Greek Shaq up and shit him out to look like Ala Abdenaly.
Atlanta (-5.5) at Detroit
Point23: Atlanta. Michael Smith wrote a pretty good piece - which I happen to agree with - saying that Manning and Brady will eventually be the two greatest QBs of all time. But if Mike Vick continues to pass like he has the last two games, he'll be the greatest weapon ever unleashed on pro football. Ever. There's no feasible way to defend him. And Michael Smith is the only redeemable person on ATH besides Reali.
Kilcs: Atl. The league should start to be afraid, very afraid. Mike Vick has become just ridiculous in the past couple of weeks. Currently ATL is a 26:1 shot to win the superbowl, if the steelers didn't screw me last week, I'd lay some money on them. And surely, a SuperBowl contender can beat the Lions by 6, right?
Mr Em: Falcons. Vick's playing the best football of his career, making plays in and out of the pocket. Detroit's looking forward to playing on Turkey Day once again, which for the 10th consecutive year, will be the only game that matters for them late in the season.
TheNumberZero: Falcons. The Pistons suck, no seriously I think they win 43 games this year and lose in the first round. Rasheed might not even play in that many games. They need a new coach, maybe Dumars can hire Matt Millen.
Miami at Chicago (-13.5)
Point23: Chicago. Are you kidding me? After last week? They couldn't set this line high enough. They could have set it at 28 and I'd still take the Bears.
Kilcs: Chicago. They are one of those good teams that blow out bad teams, not just beat them. The defense has been incredible at home (on the road for that matter too) and the Dolphins don't have any real weapons that they utilize in any effective manner. The spread will be covered by halftime.
Mr Em: Dolphins. The Miami Dolphins need to put complete focus on covering the spread (0-6-1) before they can think about winning a game (1-6). I've picked Miami in every football competition I've been in this year (i.e. gambling, fantasy football) and if I pick against them I know they'll royally screw me and cover. So with that said, I'll take the flippin' Dolphins once again, Bring back Skinny!!!!! and Give me the POINTS!!!!!!!
TheNumberZero: Bears. This line should be in the 20’s. Miami can’t score against a normal team, let alone this team. This could be worse than Heat-Bulls and that’s saying something.
Point23: San Fran. Bounce back game for the Niners; Minny can't recover from the beatdown on MNF. Plus, they suck. Somehow they have a good record, but they suck. I really believe this.
Kilcs: SF. They played decently in the beginning of the year and I think that the Patriots might have exposed the Vikes a little bit. This whole game managing thing by a QB is nice and all but it's good to have your QB make some plays too. Brad Johnson is solid, but doesn't make many plays. Minnesota may win but I think SF will cover.
Mr. Em: Vikings. Minnesota can't give up on the run like they did after the first quarter in that Monday night thrashing. They should be able to run the ball on the 49ers.
TheNumberZero: Vikings. You want me to talk about football, No. The T-Wolves are for real this year. You think that it’s about me. It’s about the power of 5. Your not a fool. Are you?
Cleveland at San Diego (-12.5)
Point23: San Diego. I just hope Marty doesn't have LT running up the score in the fourth quarter. He's gonna get hurt one of these times, Marty.
Kilcs: Cleveland. San Diego is definitely going to win this game. Definitely. But I think that Cleveland will play them close for some reason. Much to my dismay, Kellen Winslow is real good and I think he'll make some plays to keep it respectable.
Mr. Em: Chargers. It's true! Spread the good news....there IS a FANTASY GOD!!!! Next thing you know, dude's gonna be speakin' in tongues.
TheNumberZero: Browns. Here I come. Cannnnnnonballllllllll. You can’t beat the Browns by just training in a pool Phil, you just can’t do it.
Denver at Pittsburgh (-3.0)
Point23: Denver. Tom Brady couldn't pass on Denver, something is telling me Big Ben may struggle. Just thinking out loud here.
Kilcs: Denver. Is this really the right line? Are you sure? I realize I'm bitter that the Steelers burned me by not beating Oakland by 2, but there has been no reason to believe they can beat a good team. They've been close, but haven't done it yet all year. They have beat Miami and KC.
Mr. Em: Steelers. The past two weeks were must win games for the Steelers. You have to look at this as an elimination game if your Pittsburgh, because 10 wins doesn't guarantee you a playoff berth in the competitive AFC.
TheNumberZero: Denver. I have no other reasoning then me not trusting Big Ben right now. That’s it. Plus Pittsburgh needs an NBA team. Like soon. C’mon Cuban, let’s see what you can do.
Point23: Indianapolis. I know, I know. Brady owns Manning. The Colts can't stop the run; NE has a great power running game. Its at New England. I know all this. Really, I do. I just think Manning does it this year. I apologize in advance. And if I'm wrong, I'll blaze with Belichik's son.
Kilcs: New England. Indy's run defense bothers me and Belichik and Brady are 6-1 or 7-1 against Manning. Manning, more than any QB, can play a perfect game, but it's hard to play a perfect game every week. New England will win, but this is a great game.
Mr Em: Patriots. This comes down to fantasy football ethics. I have Brady and Maroney, my competitor has Manning.
TheNumberZero: New England. This will be a shootout and probably one of the best games of this year. Go Reggie Wayne.
Oakland at Seattle (-7.0)
Point23: Oakland. Three in a row, baby! Yea!
Kilcs: Seattle. Seneca Wallace didn't suck at KC. I think he'll play decent at home and Oakland's offense is still putrid, even though they've won 2 games now. Their defense cannot win 3 games in a row for them.
Mr Em: Raiders. When your not sure what your going to get out of either team, you quite simply (let's say it together now) TAKE THE POINTS!!!!!!!!!!
TheNumberZero: Oakland. What a horrible MNF game. I guess with such a great Sunday night game they had to make this one shitty.
Tonight in the Association
You know what sucks about the NBA? On any given night, a team will just tank it. Completely pack it in. And you have no idea when it's coming, so betting on a random game is a complete crap shoot. Its not like the NFL where you know every time is trying its hardest to win every night. Miami couldn't even play hard on opening night for God's sake. Unless its a huge rivalry game, there's a 15% chance (maybe higher?) that Team X says "Screw it, we'll get the next one...Vin, put the bottle down - you're in!"
That said, we got a full slate of games tonight! We should drink or something. Yea, let'd do that. Onto the picks...
New Orleans at Indiana (-4.5)
NOOCH. Chris Paul vs. Jamal Tinsley. Um, you pick.
Milwaukee. Hey, its two teams who made an off-season trade! TJ Ford for Charlie Villanueva striaght up. I think the Bucks got the better end of the bargain, so we'll give them the nod here.
Philadelphia at Orlando (-5.5)
Orlando. Dwight Howard is the new Shaq.
Detroit (-2.5) at Boston
Boston. Can Sheed make it two-for-two? Do you believe? I believe.
New Jersey at Miami (-4.0)
New Jersey. Um, maybe if this was the playoff's last year. Miami really couldn't care less. Actually, they are so old I don't think they could care if they wanted to.
New York at Atlanta (-2.5)
Atlanta. Wow. Atlanta is favored. The team they are playing must suck...oh. The two most mismanaged teams in the last five years settle it on the court: who botched it worse? Well, only New York has their mastermind actually coaching them now. I think we found a winner.
Cleveland at San Antonio (-5.5)
Cleveland. Finals preview! I hope LeBron cracks Bruce Bowen's sternum in half.
Charlotte at Memphis (-4.0)
Charlotte. If you think I'm backing a team that a) lost to the Knicks and b) has the ugliest player in the NBA on its team, well...you'd be wrong.
Sacramento at Chicago (-6.0)
Chicago. Ron Artest and Ben Wallace can guard eachother. The other 8 players on the court can play regular basketball.
Utah at Phoenix (-6.5)
Utah. Phoenix has to be getting a little tired, don't they?
Minnesota at Denver (-5.0)
Denver. If this really is "new Melo," he'll bounce back with a vengence. I think its new Melo.
Portland at Golden State (-8.5)
Portland. This is basically saying that Portland is far and away the worst team in the NBA, right? Over 8 point dogs to the Warriors? I hope I read that wrong or something. That's ridiculous.
Seattle at Los Angeles Lakers (-4.0)
Lakers. Is Kobe playing? Who cares? Long live Lamar!
Last night: 2-0. Season: 2-0.
Thursday, November 02, 2006
I'd Like to See It, But I Hope I Don't
I've heard this more than once: if the Michigan/Ohio State game is a classic, then it should be played again for the national championship.
As much as I'd like to see Michigan play Ohio State ten times this season, this idea is stupid. Say Michigan goes into the 'Shoe and knocks of Ohio State. Fine. Now say they play eachother again in the National Title game and Ohio State redeems themselves and beats Michigan.
The two teams each won one game against the other. Both Michigan and Ohio State are 1-1 head-to-head. But Ohio State is your national champion becuase they won the second time around. How does that make any sense at all?
Why should the team who loses the first game get a second crack at the national title? Didn't they 
This line of thought just makes no sense to me. The national championship shouldn't be double-elimination.
I understand that the national championship should pit the top two teams in the country, and those two teams are probably Ohio State and Michigan. But we will already know who is better between those two teams once they play. Playing it again is redundant.
Now, I'm not saying it a Michigan/Ohio State rematch wouldn't draw higher ratings; that match up would probably be the ideal national championship, ratings-wise. But does it make sense when crowning your national champion? I think not.
Shawne Merriman Did Not Take Steriods, But Will Be Suspended, Anyways.
Shawne Merriman finally got around to dropping his appeal and will begin serving his four-game suspension for taking steriods. It was actually a smart move, because now he can play Denver at least once. If he would have held out longer, he would have missed both games against Denver because there was no way on God's green earth he was beating the suspension. And there is no one more important than Denver.
1) Why does it take the NFL - or any sport, for that matter - so frickin' long to get around to hearing these appeals? Honestly, two weeks until his appeal is heard? I would think they could get this thing taken care of the next day, UPS-style. What exactly are they doing over there? Is NFL Legal so swamped with pressing issues that they couldn't possibly squeeze in the appeal of the league's sack leader on a steriods suspension? This should take precedence, no? I'm no expert, but I can't think of any other pending legal issues the NFL has to attend to. Nope. Not one.
I think the NFL is lazy. There's really no other explanation.
2) It's kinda crazy that one of the best player in football gets busted for 'roids and no one even cares. If, oh say...Albert Pooholes was found to be injecting a needle in his ass, people would be flipping out. What's the difference? I think this is American saying "We like football, not so much the baseball."
3)Merriman's reaction is bullshit and it makes me think he's 100% guilty. If you were accused of something you didn't do - I mean, anything - would you rationally just throw your hands up in the air and trot out the same old, tired reasons for your behavior? Or would you maybe be a little angry? If Merriman genuinely didn't take steriods, I'd imagine his press conference would include lots of swear words and exclamation points:
"This is bullshit! Bullshit! I didn't take anything! I mean, yea, I have the Romonowski-esque tackle box with about 112 pills per day in it, but who doesn't? Besides, they're all legal! Seriously, someone has to be messin' with me...I did not take steriods! The whole system is [expletive deleted] up! [Expletive deleted] this [expletive deleted]! This is a [expletive deleted] tragedy is what it is! Someone needs to be fired! Please believe me! Please! Please believe me! [Expletive deleted]!"
(At least we know what Mr. Lights Out will be doing with his off time; scroll to the bottom.)
Tonight in the Association
Let's try something a little ambitious, shall we? Like, oh say...picking every NBA game for the rest of the season. Sounds like something fun. Sounds like something I'll never be able to keep up. But hey, if I was scared of starting things that would ultimately end in failure, I wouldn't have attended college now would I?
We have two games on tap tonight in The Association. Let's get to it.
San Antonio at Dallas (-3.0)
Man, the NBA is smart, scheduling all these match ups for last season's post season. That said, I think we have a little revenge on our hands here. I'll take the Spurs and the points, thank you very much.
Denver at Los Angeles Clippers (-3.0)
Sam Cassell is the only player in the league smart enough to post up Earl Boykins. That said, Melo seems super-determined this season, doesn't he? I think he gets the Nugs off to a good start this season. Nugs by 5 on the road.
EDIT: If anyone wants to get in on this with me, let me know in the comments. Week by week winner, a season long winner, first one to 21, whatever. Wanna throw a little cash down - whatever makes you nervous - I'm in. Just let me know.
Around the L
The posting of late has been sporadic at best (and that's being generous), and that's to be expected for about the next month or so. My apologies to all nine of you (yes, I feel comfortable going with nine; I think we're up from the previous high of four). But after that, it's on for serious. Just so you know.
Play of the Year, So Far. Dwight Howard v. Ben Wallace. Howard had Wallace on the left side, took one hard dribble to the right, quickly spun back to the left - completely losing Wallace in the process, by the way - and then did a two-handed chin up on the rim. Just vicious, vicious stuff. Duncan, Yao, KG, Brand...Howard. And by the end of the season, that order could change. I really have no idea how high his ceiling is, but I can't see it from where I'm standing. He really makes the term "monster" seem insignificant.
Who Needs Kobe? Certainly not the Lakers or Lamar. If Lamer can keep this up - and I really think he can - the Lakers are virtually impossible to defend on the perimeter at the 2-3 spots. If Farmer and Bynum are competent - not even good; just don't suck like Kwame and Smush - the Lakers are suddenly incredibly tough to beat. Throw in the cerebral Luke Walton (again, code for "doesn't suck" and "knows how to get Kobe the ball") the Lake Show is downright scary. I'm scared. Are you scared? Well, you should be.
The biggest question with LA this season though is this: Are they going to make their stands all dark and foreboding again? Was that only for opening night? Personally, I think they should keep them like that. It made the court look like a stage and it was pretty bad-ass. If this catches on, I won't be against it.
Cavs Pick Up Where They Left Off. Clearly, the Cavs go as far as LeBron will carry them, but if Larry Hughes continues to ball like this - looking smooth, knocking down J's, getting to the rim - Cleveland has a bona fide second weapon to compliment LeBron, which they haven't had (If you were about to say anything resembling Ilgaukus, save yourself the effort and shutup right now). And his lefty dunk after cutting down the paint was particularly nasty. Consider me excited.
So who's the most important Second Fiddle in the NBA, Larry Hughes or Lamar Odom? So far, Lamar's been the best, but Hughes could put the Cavs in the Finals. So: we'll see.
As for the Wiz: well, Gilbert has me scared. I'm worried than when The Chosen 1 laid hands on him, he ruined him for life. Kind of a modern-day Nick Anderson. But I don't think Gilbert's mind works that way; I don't think he even really understands "pressure" in the traditional sense. Actually, I have no idea how his mind works, but I hope he just had a bad game. Because of Gilbert goes in the tank, that's not going to be good for anyone: not the NBA, not the Wizards, not the fans, not even the Cavs.
I also decided that Deshawn Stevenson is the worst starter in the NBA. I don't know about worst player overall - probably someone buried on Golden State's bench - but Stevenson is awful.
The Knickerbockers are on pace to go 82-0 and play 246 overtimes. Holy hell, the Knicks are undefeated. I don't know why, but this is disappointing. I think its because I like to see greatness, and the Knicks are in line to accomplish said greatness, and they go and blow it with a triple-OT win. Damnit.
Here's my question though: at the end of regulation, the Knicks gave Jamal Crawford the ball at the top of the key and told him to win the game. He failed. At the end of the first OT, same play, same result. Second overtime? Ditto. Three times in a row they gave Jamal the ball, three times in a row he messed it up. How does that happen? And more importantly, how does Stephon feel about this? Actually, as long as the Knicks won, I'm sure Starbury (Can we just call him Starburst? Every time I hear that name, I want one. Watermelon, for some reason.) is happy. If Starbury is about anything, its about wins.
As for the Grizzles, well...is Mike Miller pissed at Charlie Villaneuva? If he isn't, then why is he gunning for his spot as captain of the All Ugly Team? What the hell was that hair cut? He looked like an strung out, ungroomed Pug.
Chicago to the Finals! Chicago Sucks! So which one is it? Well, probably somewhere in between.
They beat the hell out of a Miami team that really could have cared less, minus D Wade. (That whole "gather a bunch of vets dying to get a ring" thing really only works when those vets don't have a ring, right? I thought Miami could win their division just because it was pretty weak, but man...they really don't give a shit. They are the Randy Moss's of the L.) Then they lost to an upstart Magic team. They are still solid, though. They aren't going to the Finals - probably not even the conference finals - but they'll still be a tough out.
I just really don't see how the Ben Wallace signing makes them better. They were already great at defense. It would be like the Colts signing another wide receiver. Once you reach a certain point, you kinda can't get better. How are they going to score? When they play Wallace and Duhon at the same time, they have two guys who aren't a threat to score. That makes them relatively easier to guard, yes? I don't know...I just see them as the same team as last year, only scoring less points. That doesn't seem good, at least to me. We'll see.
I Jumped Into a Pool and Got Wet. In a related story, Rasheed Wallace go thrown out of the first game of the year. We get it, 'Sheed. You don't like the new rules. What a freakin' moron. God, I can't wait to see the Pistons implode this year. One down, 81 to go.
Better Late Than Never. RIP, Red Auerbach. To be honest, I don't know too much about Red, except that he coached a bunch of champions and then put together a bunch more as the Celt's GM. I've heard him described as the most important non-player in NBA history and the greatest winner ever, which are both things you can brag about in heaven. Seems like he lived hs life how he wanted. Doesn't seem like the kind of guy who had too many regrets. Admirable, I'd say.
Friday, October 27, 2006
Week Eight: The Picks
Houston at Tennessee (-3.0)
Point23: Houston. Little Davey Carr is growing up right in front of our eyes!
Mr. Em: Houston. If this game was played at Houston, the line would be reversed, which really goes to show you how much oddsmakers think of home field in the NFL. Carr will be looking for Andre Johnson all day long, and both will have a big day against a pass defense that, well, can't defend the pass.
Kilcs: Tennessee. I'm so sure of this game that I typed Tennessee, deleted it. Typed Houston deleted it. Typed Tennessee, deleted it. Then typed Tennessee again. I think Henry is and always has been a good back and he's making things a lot easier on Vince.
Zero: Tennessee. Take me to another place, Take me to another land, Make me forget all that hurts me, Let me understand your plan.
Jacksonville at Philadelphia (-7.0)
Point23: Philly. Can everyone get the hell off Donovan's back, please? Seriously. Shut the hell up. I sound like an obsessive girlfriend, but I don't care. Everyone shut the hell up.
Mr. Em: Jacksonville. The Jags performance last week pushed this line up higher than it should be. Their defense isn't as dominant as prognosticators thought in the early weeks, but it's not as bad as how they played in Houston last week.
Kilcs: Jacksonville. They're definitely better than they played last week, right? And Philly did just lose to Tampa.
Zero: Illadelph. Donovan F. is gonna have a huuuge day.
Atlanta at Cincinnati (-4.5)
Point23: Atlanta. I give up, Ron Mexico. I have no idea if you are good or not. You got me. I quit.
Mr. Em: Cincinnati. Chad Johnson's literally turning into a Bengal - THAT is Crazy!
Kilcs: Cincy. I absolutely believe in Ocho-Cinco, and watching Cincy, they really are close to clicking, like everyone thought they were. Palmer is just missing throws to open receivers and 85's guaranteeing big things (Ocho Cinco) and Thug Henry will be back and Atl's defense may be gashed.
Zero: Dirty Birds. I think that Stees win may have pushed them over the top.
Tampa Bay at NY Giants (-9.0)
Point23: Tampa Bay. Tiki is a quitter! Yea, Michael Irvin's right! Freakin quitter, you are Tiki.
Mr. Em: Tampa Bay. Two teams that rely heavily on defense and running the football. Tick tock goes the clock, I 'll take the points.
Kilcs: Giants. Giants are on quite the roll.
Zero: Giants. I never thought I would ever see Jay-Z and Dale Earnhardt Junyah in the same care. What is this world turning into.
San Francisco at Chicago (-16.5)
Point23: San Fran. Gimme a break, Vegas.
Mr. Em: Chicago. Bears are rested after their hibernation and will be out to prove the Cardinals game was a fluke. Buonoconti and the '72 Dolphins must wait another week.
Kilcs: Chicago. They haven't allowed more than 13 points at home in like two years i think. I don't think they let up more than 10 and I think Rex brings Sexy back.
Zero: Bears. I'm making this pick just so my confidence in SexyBack8 is up for this week.
Arizona at Green Bay (-3.5)
Point23: Arizona. Last week was a fluke. Leinart will scorch that Ahmad Carroll-less Pack secondary.
Mr. Em: Arizona. I'm glad I don't live in the Arizona or Green Bay area, I don't know what I'd do if this was the regional TV game I had to watch.
Kilcs: Green Bay. They're one of the better bad teams, I think.
Zero: Emerald Bay. They'll show up. Edge's head is somewhere in the north pacific I think.
Seattle at Kansas City (-6.5)
Point23: Kansas City. If San Diego can't win in KC, then I don't think the Seattle JV team is gonna be able to pull it off either.
Mr. Em: Kansas City. Seattle has had problems running the ball all season, now they're not going to be able to run or throw.
Kilcs: Kansas City. Who would have predicted this line a month ago, but this is about right whne Seattle's playing with Mercury Morris' illegitimate son @ RB and Seneca Wallace at QB. He played WR last year in the playoffs. And KC just beat San Diego, a legit good team with all their stars, 'roids and all. (With all that logic though, it seems like there's too many reasons to pick KC and they won't cover, but I'm picking them anyways.)
Zero: KC, and the sunshine band. Seneca who?
Baltimore at New Orleans (-2.0)
Point23: New Orleans. In the Dome? Only 2? Cripes, the Dome is worth at least a touchdown and a field goal. And maybe even a safety. Speaking of safeties, did anyone see Jeff Fisher last week when the Titans got a safety? I don't think he knows what the hand sign for safety is. He was making the "Big Vagina" sign from Curb Your Enthusiasm. It wasn't even close to the safety sign, and it was awesome.
Mr. Em: New Orleans. And who doesn't know the reason?
Kilcs: New Orleans. @ New Orleans. 'Nuff said.
Zero: NO. Baltimore couldn't get a first down against the Cash Money Millionaires Point23 says: as I read this, the CMM were playing in the background, and I hadn't heard them in years. That's creepy).
St. Louis at San Diego (-8.5)
Point23: San Diego. Merriman only has two games left before the NFL says "lights out." He'll play like it. Run for your life, Marc. And spell your name with a 'k,' too, you pompous ass.
Mr. Em: Saint Louis. 8.5 points + Rams offense = Cover.
Kilcs: St. Louis. Torry Holt continues his great season. Way better than Tiki so far. SD wins though.
Zero: Um, Chargers. I have a feeling there is gonna be a safety in this game. Shawne Merriman and his roided ass will be involved.
Pittsburgh (-9.0) at Oakland
Point23: Pittsburgh. Troy Palamalu will outscore the Raiders offense. Mark it down.
Mr. Em: Pittsburgh. A must win for the defending champs.
Kilcs: Pittsburgh. Batch/Roethlisberger/Anyone not named Tommy Maddox and Pittsburgh covers this, easily. Another must win game for a talented team against a garbage team.
Zero: Steel City. Large Benjamin or not, they still roll tide, roll.
NY Jets at Cleveland (-2.0)
Point23: Jets. That's crazy Cleveland is favored.
Mr. Em: Cleveland. This is the beginning of the Jets coming back to reality.
Kilcs: Jets. Cleveland's offense is anemic. Jets offense is not so anemic.
Zero: Ohio State. I mean the Jets.
Indianapolis at Denver (-3.0)
Point23: Indy. Denver was getting away with hiding Jake Plumer all year. He's gonna have to make some plays this week. in other words, Denver loses. Plus, Indy is so trendy this year.
Mr. Em: Denver. The Broncos have exactly what it takes to beat the Colts: a running game to control the clock (Indy is ranked 31st against the run) and a defense that can limit Peyton Manning.
Kilcs: Indy. Denver's real good this year, on defense at least. But every time these teams meet in the playoffs, the Colts win by 30. I think they should be able to not lose by more than 3. And obviously, Peyton isn't very easy to rattle, I think the Colts are still undefeated after this week.
Zero: Indy. Why is Denver favored? Payton Chessning still plays for them right?
Dallas at Carolina (-5.5)
Point23: Carolina. Tony Romo is hyper like Joey Harrington and releases the ball funnier than Philip Rivers.
Mr. Em: Carolina. I still don't understand why Parcells didn't try using Bledsoe out of the shotgun. The Panthers defense will take full advantage of an inexperienced Tony Romo.
Kilcs: Carolina. I'll pick them every week, they're real good against the number. Tony Romo, welcome to the NFL, courtesy of Julius Peppers. This game's a slam dunk! (Ha, get it Peppers, dunk?)
Zero: Carolina. Steve Smith, Steve Smith.
New England (-3.0) at Minnesota
Point23: New Englad. I hate Minnesota. They'll probably do something chintzy like get a safety with 23 seconds left to cover.
Mr. Em: Minnesota. The Vikings will run behind Hutchinson all night long. Should be a back and forth game with a ton of fantasy points scored by Taylor and Brady (yes!).
Kilcs: New England. It seems too easy? I think New England wins by two scores.
Zero: NE. Just so you know, I don't like seeing everyone elses picks and some week I'm going to F this document so hard that you will hate me. Just for a little though.
Monday, October 23, 2006
Joe Theisman is a Gold Fish.
I have the MNF game on right now. Tirico, Theisman and Kornheiser (that sounds like a deli) with the call. But you knew what.
Theisman is pissing me off to no end. He is completely exonerating Drew Bledsoe of any wrong doing. The reason the Cowboys can't pass, says Joey T, is because the offensive line can't block. Yea, the offensive line. It has nothing to do with Bledsoe being as "mobile as the actual Statue of Liberty" (thank you, Tony) or the fact that he hangs onto the ball like it's his only friend in the world.
The Giants are just teeing off on Bledsoe. He's getting the hell beat out of him. But Joe will not blame Bledsoe for any of it.
The offensive line, Joe? Seriously? You sure, buddy? Last week, you praised the Cardinals o-line over and over and over again. The same line that allowed Edge James to rush for the lowest total ever (ever! EVER!) in a single game. A professional offensive line should be able to get you 2.0 yards per pop, I don't care if you have Wilbon running the ball. There are no set of circumstances under which a running back averages 1.2 yards per pop and the o-line can be praised. None exist.
How can he blame Dallas' o-line for this? This is the same line that is paving the way for three straight Julius Jones 100 yard games. They have to be doing something right.
Thiesman goes so far out of his way to make excuses for quarterbacks that he loses all his credibility. I don't even think he genuinely believes some of the stuff he says. He knows damn well the reason the Cowboys can't pass is because the whole National Football League knows that Bledsoe can't move so they blitz the hell out of them.
Maybe Theisman is really a gold fish. You know how gold fish forget everything 10 seconds after it happens? I think that's Joe. No short term memory whatsoever.
(Full disclosure: ESPN now has Hank Williams in the booth. And Theisman stole his cowboy hat and is now wearing it and saying things like "howdy." Blow my head off. You want people to go check the fridge, ESPN? This is how you do it.)
Mormally, I don't mind Theisman. He's condescending as hell, sure, but he's at least knowledgable. If someone is going to suck, at least present me with with some info that I wasn't previously aware of, and then let me make my own decision. I think Theisman does that. If the price I have to pay for that is Joey T inserting his own dubious opinions, well...I can live with that. Certiainly, there are worse things.
And Kornheiser...well, he's been a little dissapointing, no? He was supposed to call Theisman out at every little instance, wasn't he? At least make it interesting. Through six weeks, he hasn't done that.
I think he's getting the hang of things though. I think he decided before the game to disagree with everything Theisman said, no matter what. Which is freaking great. If he keeps this up, ratings will go through the roof.
People don't tune in because of the announcers, but they certainly do tune ou because of them
Ha! The Cowboys just put in Tony Romo, and he throws a pick on his very first pass. Let's see you defend this one, Theisman.
Friday, October 20, 2006
Week Seven Picks
Before we get started, a little apology. Pick Em was quite furious that I misposted his record. I forget what I said it was earlier, but it was off by a win. So: my apologies, Mr. 'Em.
Here's the correct records heading into Week Seven. I think:
Kilcs............. 13-11-3
Point23........ 12-12-3
Zero.............. 11-13-3
Pick 'Em....... 10-14-3
Wow. Inching towards respectability there. Onto the picks...
Zero: Zero: San Diego...Suuuupa Chaghas. God, I hate Berman. LT and Phil say Your With Me, Herman.
Kilcs: San Diego. Last week teams I was sold on were 0-2. I don't think it'll be 0-3. Chargers D led by Lights Out will shut down LJ and any time you put a game on Brock Huard (or is it Damon's?) shoulders, that's no good. Rivers is becoming as dangerous as LT, no more 8 in the box.
Pick Em: Kansas City. Chiefs split the series with the Chargers last season, but only allowed 7 points in the game at Arrowhead. Tomlinson only rushed for 118 yards in those two games, and didn't find the end zone. When LT struggles, the Chargers struggle. Give me the points!!!
Point23: San Diego. Larry Johnson keeps up his as-predicted bust as a fantasy running back. And I hope Marty leaved LT in when the Bolts are up 21 again and he gets hurt, just because Marty is an idiot for doing that last week. (Jus' playin', LT - we love your work.)
Jacksonville (-10) at Houston
Zero: This is a hard game. Jacksonville is coming off the bye week. Houston's season is basically a roller coaster ride where you have to be a DE from N.C. State to ride. They are the Texans though. Jacksonville, 21-10
Kilcs: Houston. Jacksonville will be without Matt Jones, I'm not sure why that matters, but they will be. I think Houston's due for another close loss. They probably are wishing they woulda taken # 25 though.
Pick Em: Houston. Jaguars will win this game, I expect them to get to jump on the Texans early and then rely on their defense and running game. I still think a TD and FG is too much, so I'll take THE POINTS!!!
Point23: Houston. C'mon now...Jacksonville isn't that good. I know Houston's record sucks, but I think they are semi-respectable. Certainly not 10 point dogs.
New England (-6) at Buffalo
Zero: The first game this year was a fluke. Brady and Co. disassemble the Bills. I say and company because no one other than the two RBs are really all that marektable. Brady and Gabriel. No. Brady and Brown. Sounds too much like Brown and Bubbly. Pats by 2 scores.
Kilcs: Buffalo. New England will win straight up, but Buffalo plays these guys tough all the time. And every week there are games where the better team will definitely win, but they won't definitely cover, this is one of those games for me this week.
Pick Em: New England. Brady struggled mightily in his week 1 matchup against the Bills. Here's to betting that doesn't happen twice.
Point23: New England. Chad Jackson: remember the name. And Laurence Maroney's stiff arm is illegal in 21 states.
Zero: Steelers. Have you seen Big Ted in that FatHead commercial. He really doesn have a fat head, the perfect spokesperson for those FatHead's, which are actually whole bodies, so its kinda false advertising.
Kilcs: Pittsburgh. Nobody runs on the Steelers. Polamalu and the fast linebackers will be able to keep Vick in check running around and I think that Najeh Davenport is a helluva complement to Parker. Steelers roll.
Pick Em: Pittsburgh. This line opened at 1.5, so it looks like a lot of people are taking the Steelers, either that or Tommy's fudgin' lines. Vick proclaims he's a pure passer, and he'll have to be in this game because you do not run against Pittsburgh. I don't believe in Vick's arm.
Point23: Pittsburgh. When a top-notch D takes on an incredibly one dimensional offense, bad things happen for that offense. ATL's WR's can't catch; Vick can't throw: not a recipe for success. Vick is so good at one-hopping 10 yard passes; he should throw ground ball practice for the Braves.
Philadelphia (-6) at Tampa Bay
Zero: Eagles in a tight game. Go Bruce.
Kilcs: Philly. Eagles D puts tons of pressure on QBs. The youngster Gradkowski has handled things well so far in his first two starts, but he can't keep up with the points that McNabb, the MVP leader, will put up.
Pick Em: Tampa Bay. After getting off to a rough start this year, Tampa has been in position to win each of their last 3 games. They lost two of them by a total of 5 points, so expect a close one at Raymond James Stadium. I want the points!
Point23: Philly. In a route, too. Bruce Gradkowski will be seeing Jim Johnson's vaunted blitz package in his dreams for weeks. Random prediction: Lito Sheppard: Two picks, one score.
Detroit at NY Jets (-3.5)
Zero: Still going against Simmons, Go LIONS.
Kilcs: Detroit. I think this makes 3 weeks in a row that I've picked against the Jets and I'm not sure I've won either of the other 2, but I think they're terrible for some reason. I also think that Detroit's gonna end up with a respectable 5-6 wins. I think they win this straight up.
Pick Em: Jets. This should be an entertaining game considering these two teams don't realistically have a shot at the playoffs. Lions have had trouble winning period, but they have really struggled on the road. They're off to another great start this year, posting an 0-3 record on the road this year, gotta take those Jets.
Point23: Jets. I have no confidence in that pick whatsoever. I can't believe they even scheduled this game. This is like the hypothetical who would win between a shark or a lion. Well, maybe a poodle or a prairie dog.
Zero: Wow. As long as Greg Jennings and Ronnie Brown have 2 TDs a piece then I dont care who wins, but that really defeats this whole purpose. Green Bay.
Kilcs: Miami. Running game stepped up for Miami last week and Favre's due for a Favre (2003-present) game with about 4 turnovers.
Pick Em: Miami. The Dolphins are really killing me this year. Not only are they my favorite team, but they are 0-5-1 against the spread. If your not gonna win, please cover in a game or two. They're due.
Point23: Green Bay. There's been some insane lines this year: Indy's NCAA-like -19; SF bouncing back from a 30 point only to be a 3 point favorite the next week; now we have an atrocious Miami team as a 5 point favorite. You can have Joey Harrington, thanks. No really. He's all yours.
Carolina at Cincinnati (-3.5)
Zero: This should be a pick 'em game. Panthers defense is too much. Chad Johnson and Hoosh get arrested at half time for doing blow, Omar Gooding-Playmakers style.
Kilcs: Carolina. See last week. See Stevon Smith.
Pick Em: Carolina. Cincy has two starting offensive lineman out this week, and Carolina has one of the best front four's in the league. We'll take the points!
Point23: How the hell is Cincy favored in this game? Carolina wins this thing outright, because Mr. Turnover Machine Carson Palmer fumbled about nine times, eight of which are caused by the completely unblockable and wildly inarticulate Julius Peppers.
Denver (-5.5) at Cleveland
Zero: Melo v. Bron. I got the Cavs.
Kilcs: Cleveland. Denver only beat Oakland by 10 at home. I think Cleveland will play an inspired game, maybe they'll actually score a TD on Denver, something only the Pats have accomplished so far and will keep it close, but lose.
Pick Em: Denver. Denver's allowed one touchdown in five games, and they only give up 7.4 points per game. That's amazing stuff.
Point23: Cleveland. Denever will win by a field goal because they only do enough to win. And I said this before Simmons, you can ask Patty - I told him exactly this in my 11 am Essay Writing class.
Zero: Indy. Mark Brunell is old, real old. And the Colts have some guy named Booger right now.
Kilcs: Indy. Their offense is due for a breakout day. And seeing as the Psychos play Peyton this week, well sure enough he'll throw 5 touchdowns in the first half. Although Travis Henry ran all over them a few weeks ago, maybe Portis can lead a ball control attack for the Skins? Na. Psychos badness continues, Manning, Manning and Manning.
Pick Em: Indianapolis. I have too much $ on this game to pick otherwise.
Point23: Indy. Let the Jason Campbell era begin. And while we're here: I don't get head coaches giving up the play calling duties. Isn't that what they are paid to do? I guess - I guess - I can see it if he's a defensive guy and he's calling the defenses...but I don't think Gibbs falls into that category, either. So what the hell is he doing? Why is he getting paid? Certainly not motivation. I jsut don't get it.
Minnesoata at Seattle (-6.5)
Zero: The Sex Boat goes down to the Poison Pill Phifers. Does that even make sense?
Kilcs: Seattle. Branch continues to fit in well with the offense and the performance of the offense without Alexander, makes people wonder why they don't pass like this all the time. Plus Lofa Tatupu. I think he is one of the best players in the league. If this game's on, watch him, he's crazy.
Pick Em: Seattle. See above. Crazy teaser!!!
Point23: Seattle. Holmgren is so pissed about Steve Hutchinson's poison pill contract that he runs up the score. I wish I had Mass Hasslebeck on my fantasy team this week. Wait, no I don't: I have Donovan McNabb.
Zero: Cardinals, even after last week's debacle. Are the Raiders who we THOUGHT they are?
Kilcs: Arizona. Matt the LionHearted will lead Zona to a win. Oakland's not gonna win for a long time. I'm not gonna pick them till they win one.
Pick Em: Arizona. Let's see, I have 203 reasons to pick against Denny Green and the Cardinals this week, with number one being they took me out of 203 dollars on Monday night. And I only have 1 reason to pick them, they play theRaidas.
Point23: Arizona. Yep, pretty comfy ridin' shotgon on the Matt Leinart bandwagon. Preeeeeeeetty comfy.
1. NY Giants at Dallas (-3.5)
Zero: Tiki is supposed to retire. Running Man. Dallas.
Kilcs: Dallas. TO gets the double coverage, Terry gets a score or 2 and Julius Jones continues his streak of 100 yard games.
Pick Em: NY Giants. This will be a very close, low scoring football game. 3.5 points is too much to pass up in this type of game. Gimme the points!!!
Point23: Giants. You don't have to double Terrell Owens if you can't pressure Bledsoe (preferably up the middle, but any pressure will do). The Giants have the d-line to do it. Eli plays well on the big stage and a national audience sees Roy Williams exposed as maybe the most wildly overrated player in the NFL.
Let's hand out some awards for these picks, shall we?
The Scoop Jackson Tiny Sentence Award: Zero. Short sentences are his favorite. He loves them. Alot. Loves. Him. Zero. Loves.
The Hip Hip Hooray! Award: Mr. 'Em!!!!!!!!
The Fantasy Football Directly Influences My Picks Award: Kilcs. Somehow knowing that his fantasy team is unluckier than a black cat walking under a ladder and ontop of a broken mirror has helped him get off to the best start of the four of us.
The I Get Off the Hook Award Because I Wrote This: Point23.
