Today is Selection Sunday. (YES.)
It goes without saying that there is a lot to love about today (but let's say them anyways): Joe Lunardi is the most important person in the sport universe for a day, we get to label one region "the group of death" and Billy Packer will say something that is so obviously incorrect that all the nation can do is shake its collective head.
But maybe, just maybe, the most underrated aspect is that Selection Sunday serves as Dick Vitale's yearly swan song. He'll get to rant and rave about only seven teams getting in from the ACC - "I'd like to see what would happen if some of these mid-majors had to play in the ACC! What would happen then?! Answer me that, Mr. Fowler!" But after today, Vitale won't be in the booth for several, much more quieter months. You can take those earplugs out now.
There's still four games left to be played - and they're some good 'uns - but let's recap Championship Week before we get into that. Quickly...
Best Individual Performance: Eric Maynor of Virginia Commonwealth. Just an unbelievable series of events to close out George Mason: he rips a GMU player just over half court and then takes it the other way and scores, then he rips another GMU player in the back court and scores again, then hits a ridiculous floater in the lane, then grabs the game-sealing rebound and nails the free throws after he was fouled. Nine straight points to ice last season's Cinderella. It was the best Championship Week performance since Gerry McNamara.
Random Thing Throughout the Week For Which I Can Come Up With No Explanation. The terrible clockwork around the nation. It seemed like every game that came down to the wire came hand in hand with a clock faux pas, too, culminating with yesterday's insane Mid-American title game, where the officials thought the clock started too late so they decided to put some additional time on the clock, which made sense to Billy Packer and no one else. Let's just hand this job over to the robots and be done with it.
Most Annoying Running Gimmick. Sidney Lowe and his ridiculous red sports coat. Look, man...that thing is hideous. It just is. You look ridiculous on the sidelines. Take the damn thing off; it makes you look like the Kool-Aid Guy. What the hell happens when NC St. pulls off the upset, sneaks into the tourney and draws a first round match up with Tennessee? Bruce Pearl with his day-glo orange suit vs. Sidney and his stop sign jacket. My eyes are bleeding.
Worst Coaching Move of the Week. Down by one with well over 30 seconds left, Vermont head coach Mike Lonergan inexplicably decides to hold the ball for the last shot. I'm pretty sure he's the first coach ever to try this tactic, and his team put on a clinic demonstrating the very bad and very obvious down side to this strategy: they turned the ball over but there was no time left to foul, so they lost without ever getting a shot off. Apparetnly, Lonergan did a terrific job this season for Vermont, but this is indefensible.
TV Personality That I Currently Enjoy But Who May Be Heading Down a Dangerous Path. Tom Brennan on ESPN's Midnight Madness. I love the guy - especially when he's paired with Gottlieb, but he is starting to say some goofy things and make weird references; basically, he realized that he's there for a little comedic relief and he's starting too force it. But just a little, every once in a while. Nothing to get worked up about. He's still great. But then I caught an old clip of Dick Vitale and you couldn't even tell it was Dickie V. Vitale has gotten so caught up in his own shtick that he's not even a real person anymore. I'm just praying Brenna stays as far away from that road as possible.
Best Tournament. Just like every year: the Big East. Those games in Madison Square Garden just feel big time, even if the games aren't th best. I still wish the teams were the same as they used to be, but there's no way any tournament can top playing in the Garden. The ACC was fun in Greensborough, but they looked like they were playing on a generic create-a-court in St. Pete's. Too bad.
Dunk of the Week. Hands down, Marqus Blakely of Vermont on some poor sap from Albany. Blakely broke into the open court, dribbled with his head down like he was Clyde Drexler, took off about a step sooner than I thought he was going to, palmed the ball above his head like the Brand Jordan logo and spread his legs (the better to put his nuts in the defender's face) before absolutely hammering it on some tall dude who was trying to take a charge and was probably just as caught off guard as everyone else watching it. Blakely even threw in a little Pippen-over-Ewing-straddle-the-guy-I-just-humiliated-as-he-lays-on-the-ground for good measure. MJ still only gave him a 7 on his scorecard, though.
Alright, let's preview todays game's. Quickly...
UNC vs. NC State. The most important question here is, Who will be calling the game? If it's Vitale and Patrick, Ill wanna hang myself and if it is Jimmy Dykes again, I will wanna hang myself. It is going to be horrific no matter what, but I'd just like to know going in.
Oh, and this game isn't going to be close. NC St.'s 4th game in 4 days against the deepest team in the country who hasn't even had to try hard yet in the tournament? Blow out.
Texas vs. Kansas. Last time these two played, Durant went off, but then got hurt. If he stays healthy, I say Texas pulls the upset. You know what I hope happens tomorrow in this game? When it is close at the end, Rick Barnes actually runs a freakin play for Durant and gives him the ball. I think it would work better than DJ Augustine dribbled the air out of the ball and then taking a bad 15-footer. That play doesn't seem to work, Rick.
Ohio State vs. Wisconsin. You know what? I think Greg Oden is kind of a dork. After his one tip dunk he held his outstretched hands in the air like a nerd and the other time he like blew a kiss or something. Nothing wrong with that, I guess...just seems like something a dork would do. he's playing like a monster right now, though, screaming and stuff and dunking every miss. Ohio State will take care of Wisconsin and wrap up a one-seed.
But you know what would be great? If Ohio St lost but still got a one-seed because the game is scheduled so late that the selection committee can't factor it into their decision. That would be enjoyable for me.
Florida vs. Arkansas. I freakin' hate Florida. But I hate when undeserving teams get into the Dance...is Arkansas a lock? If Arkansas is going to get in anyways, I hope they win. If they aren't gonna make it, I hope they lose. Simple as that. I'll settle for this: Florida wins, but Joakim Noah's pony tail gets stuck in the net, ripped off and he has to shave his head. Yea. Florida will win.
There's your previews...come back around 1:00 tomorrow for the UNC/ NC St. game, which I will be live-blogging. So watch the game and then during the commercials you can read about what you just watched. Fun. And if I get one comment - just one - during the UNC live-blog, then I am live-blogging Kansas/Texas at 3:00.
Make it happen.
Sunday, March 11, 2007
Today is Selection Sunday.
Thursday, March 08, 2007
Jimmy Dykes is Killing Me
Here's the list:
1. Mike Patrick
2. Dick Vitale
3. Jimmy Dykes
He is killing me. I can't take him anymore. It's like ESPN did some thorough research on exactly how to get under my skin, ran that data through exhaustive simulations, drew some conclusions, ramped them up another ten notches and the result was Jimmy Dykes.
Where the hell did this guy come from? He wasn't around last year, was he? If he was, I wasn't aware (trust me, I'd remember) and if he was doing lower-profile games, and The World Wide leader actually promoted him, then they have a monkey and a dog calling the Big Sky championship game right now.
It's like Dykes went to just enough coaching clinics to be annoying as all hell. He beats these obscure coaching tidbits into the ground, like a defender getting his hands "ball level" or how the shooter squared up off his inside foot. Its not that he's wrong, necessarily, its that these are often (read: always) the most trivial part about the series of events that just transpired. I really think he pops in "Jim Boehim Teaches YOU the 2-3 Zone" before a broadcast, writes down the first three of four things Jim says and then forces those three of four things into every godamn possible situation, regardless of its relevancy.
Jimmy loves nothing more than how fast or slow a team is playing. He is obsessed with teams that take most of their shots with less than 15 seconds on the shot clock, and he advises every team he comes across to do just that. He is obsessed with how slow a team is playing; nothing is more crucial than the pace of the game.
Perhaps the only thing that compares with his love of shots with less than 15 seconds on the shot clock is his love affair with terrible analogies. He has such beauties on his resume as "Do the hokey pokey and turn yourself around young man!" when a VT player performed a spinning dunk. Along those same lines, he will force ESPN to run at least one graphic will a terrible pun on it combined with a nickname I know he gave himself. Something like "Jimmy D's Alchemy" or "Jimmy D's Airport." (Don't ask.)
Perhaps his greatest moment was when he combined his affinity for teams going to fast with his special adoration for god-awful analogies when VMI (I think it was VMI, could be wrong) started to take too many quick shots and saw its chance at Cinderella-status slipping away. "Right now, VMI's pumpkin carriage is going a little too fast!" Maybe the worst part is that he draws Brad Nessler into this gimmick but Nessler is even worse than Jimmy D at this.
Oddly enough, from what I can tell, he positively loves NC State. Probably because he loves "character" guy who have "committed" to a program which are code words for "sucks" and "5-11 in conference." Also, he has a man-crush on Egin Atsur that makes Dickie V's obsession with Duke look cute.
But analogies and man crushes aside, his coach-speak just makes my skin crawl. I can't take it. I can't decide whether he really knows what he is talking about and is just terrible at deciding what the most important aspect of every play is or if he just doesn't know what the hell is going on and is doing a horrendous job at covering that up. Maybe, somehow, both.
But maybe the most damning thing about him was he backed up Billy Packer's stance on the Gerald Henderson "foul" today. That, I am pretty damn sure, is indefensible.
I really need to live-blog the next game he does. If he is calling NC State's game tomorrow, consider it done.
(Update: Turns out, NC St. plays this evening, when I am unavailable. Shame, really, since there's no way SC St. beats Virginia. Maybe Jimmy will announce BYU vs. Gonzaga in the first round. Something tells me he would like that matchup.)
Monday, March 05, 2007
I Hate Championship Week
Technically, Championship Week started on Friday when Penn wrapped up the Ivy League regular season title, but things got underway in earnest this past Saturday. Since then, twelve teams, I think, have punched their tickets to the dance, mostly the small one-bid conferences, but some top-flight mid-majors got their invites, too (Creighton, Gonzaga). For the most part, the games have been overwhelmingly exciting. Championship Week has been must-see TV.
I hate Championship Week. Well, not the Week itself; I'm glued to my TV. I just hate what it stands for. It is a stupid way to put 65 teams in a bracket (amazingly, it is even stupider that there are 65 spots to fill, but that's for another time). The best thing you can about it is that it does not discriminate. Quite the opposite: it screws the big conferences, the mid-majors and the small conferences, so I guess it has that going for it.
I was watching Winthrop and VMI kick off Championship Week Saturday afternoon. The two small schools were going at it for the Big South title. VMI is - well, was - the highest scoring team in the nation; they are the NCAA's best attempt at mimicking the Phoenix Suns. During the game, they broke the single season record for steals; both VMI and Winthrop were getting out in transition, knocking down shots. Neither team could build a lead, really, and after both teams made clutch plays down the stretch, Winthrop survived after the country's leading scorer came up short on a last-second three. Can't ask for much more than that in a basketball game, I don't think.
Well, it was excruciating to sit through. For me, anyways. All I could think about was how Winthrop shouldn't even have to be playing this game and if they, for some fluke reason, should happen to lose it, the Selection Committee will probably screw them out of at at-large birth. It has to have been the hardest I've cheered all season for a team I really didn't care about. I wasn't even happy for them after they won. I was just relieved.
Think about the circumstances behind this game: Winthrop ran through the Big South this year, going 14-0. They beat every team in the league, including VMI, twice. VMI, on the other hand, was 14-19 and finished sixth in the league. Sixth. But for some reason they were given the chance to play the team that positively owned the entire conference all year with the chance to go to the NCAA Tournament as the prize in a one-and-done format, in which anything can happen and anything almost did.
My question is simple: why are they allowed to do this?
Does the regular season count for anything? Do we really need a 14-game schedule just to seed teams for a three-day single elimination tournament? Because that is really all the regular season is worth under this set-up. The regular season has no bearing on determining who the best team from the Big South is. None. A three-day, single-elimination tournament will tell us that.
The Big South was the most glaring example - an undefeated team being forced to play a sixth (sixth!) place team - but Championship Week has been full of scenarios that never should have happened. Look at some of these:
Davidson was 17-1 in the Southern Conference and beat the College of Charleston twice, but they had to beat them a third time to prove they were the better team. Belmont finished two games back of East Tennessee State in the standings, but will go to the tournament because they beat ETSU on Saturday. Same with Austin Peay: they beat Eastern Kentucky twice and finished first in the league, but EKU will be playing in March and Peay will not. Creighton hadn't beaten Southern Illinois since 2003, yet they got a chance to play them with a bid on the line. Central Connecticut State was 2-0 against Sacred Heart in the regular season. The Sun Belt conference was gracious enough to provide us with a thrilling 4-seed vs. 5-seed matchup that no one outside of North Texas or wherever Arkansas St. is located cared about. The list goes on and on.
By my count, through a dozen tournaments, a team was forced to play another team it had beaten twice during the regular season for a third time to prove it was the better team. Four one seeds have lost in the conference title game; two other one-seed didn't even make the finals.
So what's my point? I want to see the best teams in the field of 65. That's all. Really and truly: that is all I want. And the best way to do that is to give the automatic birth to the winner of the regular season. It isn't even arguable that the regular season champ is the best team in the conference. They just are. The winner of a three-day, one-and-done tourney is...well, I don't know what they are, but they certainly aren't the best team.
Listen, I know ESPN and the conferences will never do away with Championship Week. The payday is too enticing for these little conferences. I get this. I just wish they would think for a second: what is more enticing for a small conference: having your title game on ESPN or making some noise in the Big Dance?
I would say making noise in the Big Dance is more important. Look at the MVC. Where the hell where they six years ago? But they consistently got their best teams into the tournament, made noise while they were in there, and now that conference gets regular season games televised fairly often. Well, what is the best way to make noise in the NCAA Tourney? By getting your best team in. How do you do that? By sending your regular season champ.
Wouldn't you rather defer the small paycheck now for the bigger, more consistent ones later own the road?
Think about the Big South: Winthrop has lost four games all year - at UNC, at Wisconsin, at Texas A&M and at Maryland. That's it. Hell, that might be the Final Four, and those were their only four losses. But they almost didn't even make the dance because these tiny conferences insist having these tournaments that no one even watches.
Seriously, in the grand scheme of things, no one watches the smaller conferences play. Yea, you get the real avid basketball fan and the random guy flippin' around with his hand down his pants - oh, basketball is on...who the hell is Austin Pee? - but no one really watches. Go into the office tomorrow and ask anyone who won the Belmont-ETSU game. No one has any idea (in fact, if you can find two people who know what ETSU stands for, I'd like to shake your hand; I'll never, ever forget what ETSU stands for, but that is for entirely different reasons...if you wanna know, ask, I'll tell ya) because they didn't watch. All they are good for is the opening round montage on CBS and storming the court highlights on ESPN. That's it.
The only conference who does it right is the Ivy League, but they don't even give out scholarships so clearly they aren't even taking basketball that seriously, which is a shame. (Like my boy JP said: "Hey, the smartest schools in the country do it the right way. Go figure.")
Maybe I just empathize with the players too much. These guys work their ass off all year, they earn it on the court for months, and then some team that sucked all year gets to play them on a neutral court to go to the dance. That just doesn't sit right with me. Those lower seeds don't deserve that chance. It just isn't right. Really, it isn't. Can someone pass me a Kleenex, please?
But it just isn't the little schools who get screwed. When some 11-17 school that sucks gets in, that means another team is getting bumped out. All levels are affected. Whoever is sitting at 65 on the bubble is gone.
Plus, when some BCS-school McNamara's a tournament because it is busting its ass tryin to save its season against seven teams who have already sewn up bids, it screws the rest of college basketball, too.
No good comes out of it. Yea, it is exciting for the Week, but no one even remembers in a week. Yea, it is smaller schools one big payday, but I think they are being short-sighted. I just want the 65 best teams in The Dance. That's all.
Would I give up championship week to make that happen? Yea, I would. Wow. Even I can't believe I said that. But I would.
Friday, March 02, 2007
Don't Read This. It Doesn't Make Any Sense.
I am pretty sure this doesn't make any sense, but I was just thinking: what if basketball was played like football and football was played like basketball?
Told ya it didn't make any sense. But what I mean is what what if instead of having fast breaks and transition and stuff, NBA teams huddled up before each play, called a set play, said "ready, break!" and then slapped hands and then tried to execute it against a defense that had made substitutions based on the personnel that the offense decided to put on the floor?
Would that be fun to watch? Would scoring go up or down?
I don't think that would be fun to watch at all and scoring would probably plummet. What a stupid idea. Think of a new, different one.
First off, transition and fast breaks are the best part about basketball. Everyone knows this. even Mike Patrick and Duke doesn't even like to fast break that much. There's a reason the Suns are called "exciting" and "fun" while the Spurs are often times referred to as "boring as shit." Second off, defenses would be able to scout teams much better stop them much more easily. I think the only group of people excited about this would be obsessive compulsive coaches who would be geeked that they get to call a play every 30 seconds.
OK, so that doesn't make sense. Well, how ' bout if there were no huddles in football? What if teams could just run whatever play they wanted without the bossy coach yelling at them and telling them what to do all the time?
This might be even stupider than basketball being played as football. No one would have any idea what was going on! Receivers would be running all over the place - I bet they would all go deep; receivers seem to like to do that from what I have seen of their kind - but the quarterback would probably have no idea where they were going and end up getting sacked because the offensive line would think it was a run. But it would never be a run because, I mean, if you were the quarterback and you could do whatever you wanted, why would you ever hand it off? Plus, the one time you tried to hand it off, the running back would probably go to the left when you thought he was going to the right and then you would never trust him again. Also, I think concussions would go up.
What a waste of time this was.
Wait! What if they played basketball or football like baseball? Actually, never mind. Just think how stupid everyone would look in those baseball caps.
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
I Am So Sick Of Saving All Star Weekend. Fine. One More Time. But Pay Attention This Time.
Alright, NBA, listen up, because I am only going to say this once. Do you have something to write with? Because you might want to jot this down. A tape recorder? Even better. Hit the little red button and pay attention:
All-Star weekend sucks. It sucks. No one cares. You ruined it. I already tried to tell you this, but you didn't listen. Idiots, every last one of you. And you know what the worst part is? No, you don't even know, do you? Good God, why don't you sit down for a sec, NBA. This might be harder than I thought.
The NBA All-Star game is the only All-Star game in professional sports that has any chance of being remotely entertaining. The only one. And yet you still screw it up. Your marquee event is the dunk contest. All you have to do is not make it suck, and you've got a ratings bonanza. But somehow you turned what should be a once-a-year spectacle of unbelievable athleticism and power and grace and "holy shit that was awesome!" into something that drew more interest because of who was judging it and was completely overshadowed by a fat ex-player who should probably be in a Gamblers Anonymous meeting racing a 102-year-old referee who was thisclose to shattering both his hips on live television.
I ask you: how the hell do you do that?!?! Really, how? You had to try pretty hard, didn't you? I don't imagine something like that is easy.
Listen, it is too late for the dunk contest. It's over. It has lost any momentum it ever had because you made it stupid. And screw this "players don't want to get embarrassed if they lose" crap. Tracy McGrady got absolutely owned by Vince Cater and he just started for the West All-Stars and is an MVP candidate. No one seems to mind that he lost to VC in a dunk contest; his shoe deal and street cred are still in tact. The reason no one wants to do it because it is stupid. Plain and simple.
So here is what you do: let the players tape their dunks and then let them submit them. Oh you don't think that'll work? Well then why are those two videos of Nate Robinson and Dwight Howard practicing their dunks infinitely more popular than the actual dunk contest? Let's take a look, shall we?
Here's Nate Robinson, who by all accounts has done more to ruin the dunk contest than any single person outside of the Birdman:
You know what? That was some cool shit right there. Nate Robinson currently has the rep of an immature gunner who acted like a complete punk when he single-handedly instigated the nastiest brawl of the season less than a year after taking roughly 472 attempts to win the dunk contest while screwing over a completely unprecedented dunk in the process and in that video he came off as likable. Read that again: after all he did, Nate Robinson came off as likable.
Now, why is that? Well, maybe it was because he could explain what he was going to do, which might reduce the awe factor a tad, but at least the judges will know what the hell they are looking at, which would be in start contrast to anything this year's judges could claim. Plus, we get to see him pull off his best dunk in just one try, making it unspeakably more impressive than if we had just watched him screw the pooch for the umpteenth time in a row. And last but not least, he does some creative, venue-specific stuff that should be rewarded.
So, to recap: he performs some new dunks in which we have a slight idea of what to expect and he aids some local flair for good measure. Ooooooooooooor we get to see him try just one of those dunks, screw it up Lord knows how many times and then screw over a much, much more deserving competitor for the second year in a row.
Moving on...Here's Dwight Howard practicing his dunk contest repertoire:
Is there anyone in America who would prefer watching the actual dunk contest to just this clip? Anyone? Show of hands? My God, Dwight...leave the rim alone. First he kisses it and hammers one home and then he smacks his head off it.
So here is what we do. Anyone in the NBA who wants to be in can be in. Submissions have to be due the week before All-Star weekend. Edit 'em up, put some music to 'em, whatever. Then TNT will show them all at once on live TV and then once it is over - once we have seen every tape - America gets to call in and decide who wins.
This fixes every problem with the dunk contest. To wit:
- No more rounds. This eliminates the whole "saving of dunks" things. We didn't even get to see Dwight Howard's best stuff this year. Shame.
- No more judges. Clearly, these guys either don't know what they are talking about or don't care. This is two years in a row the best dunker has lost; at least the other AI made the finals two years ago. One year may be a fluke, but clearly rounds and judges aren't the best way to decide who the best dunker is. America sees them all and then decides. Quick and easy.
- We don't have to watch people screw dunks up over and over. This in itself should seal the deal.
- We get to see some really creative stuff that the NBA would otherwise never allow - like dunking on 12-foot-rims or over Playboy bunnies sitting at a poker table - like either one of those wouldn't have brought the house down.
Besides, what's more impressive: doing something with no expectations attached? or having to live up to the hype surrounding unreal expectations? Let's say word got out that Dwight Howard was going to kiss the rim this year. Well, that really doesn't give the dunk away, does it? How would he do that? What would it look like? Can someone even do that? If anything, it makes it a more of a must-see event.
Airing taped dunks actually ups the expectations, like how teachers grade harder on take home tests. More people would get involved, too, I think. And with more and more people entered, the "embarrassment" of losing becomes less of a stigma, too - hey, you can always blame it on the idiot fans voting online who don't know what they are talking about. You know, the same fans who vote Shaw into the starting line-up every year.
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
I Have No Idea Why I Am Doing This. It Will Not Be Worth It.
Alright, it has been a while. I know - my bad, my bad. I was trying to think of a way to make it up to you - yes, specifically you - and this is what I came up with. If this doesn't do it, I have no idea what will. Enjoy.
There are a fair few things ESPN does that really grinds my gears - among others: showing 30 seconds of highlights and then letting two yahoos argue about them for six minutes; showing the last two minutes of PTI five minutes into Sports Center; Mike Patrick - but near the top off the list is when they show basketball players spraining their ankles with no warning whatsoever.
Why do they show that? Does anyone want to see that? All it does is make anyone whoever sprained their ankle recoil in horror and relive the first time they sprained their own ankle for the next five minutes. (I've sprained my ankle so many times that it barely hurts anymore - I can't decide if that's a bad or good thing - but that first time is just indescribable. It hurt worse than when I broke my elbow. You can't think or blink;it is just an all-consuming pain. Also, upon rereading those last two sentences, I don't think I am as coordinated as I once thought.)
It has to be the worst thing ESPN does. Well, besides Mike Patrick. Just to be safe, I turn the channel anytime Bruce Bowen is near a jump shooter (because he's a dirty, dirty prick, that's why).
I had to ask myself, though: Am I being a huge skirt about all of this? I mean, it's just a sprained ankle, it isn't me getting actually hurt...what's the big deal? I have no problem watching quarterbacks being obliterated and suffering concussions or Sean Taylor lighting up some defenseless punter in the Pro Bowl. So why can't I stomach a little sprained ankle? I think I need to get over this. Confront my fears, if you will. Ya know, sky dive to overcome a fear of heights.
Well, apparently, there have been two horrific injuries recently - Brain Butch got his elbow bent the wrong way and something undesirable happened to Shaun Livingston's knee cap. I say apparently because I have been more scared than Tim Hardaway at a Gay Pride rally to watch these two clips. (Yes! My first Tim Hardaway joke! Felt good, felt real good.)
So here's what I propose to get back into your good graces: I'm gonna watch them for the first time and then immediately post my reactions. This idea is so dumb it just might work.
I'm gonna level with you: I am scared out of my mind right now. I really, really can't stomach this type of stuff. I have no idea how I am going to get through this. Wait - what would Jack from LOST do? He'd give the fear five seconds to do its worst, and then he'd laugh sarcastically at someone, that's what he'd do. Seems to work for him. Here goes...
1...
2...
3...
4...
5...
First up: Brian Butch's elbow injury. Let's see...
OK, not too bad so far...view is from far away....someone for Wisconsin just got knocked over. I think it was Butch...OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! His arm is the wrong way! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! I have to rub my elbow furiously for the next five minutes, hang on...OK, I'm back...ah screw it, I need to massage my arm some more....Did you see the look on his face? I made the exact same face. Shit, I'm still making it. He was in total shock. He looks at the ref like, "Do you see this shit!?!! Look at my arm! Look at it! I look like I am permanently doing the robot! Are you currently seeing the horrificness that I am currently experiencing? My God, man...do something!"
My hands are shaking...I can barely type. I don't want to see anything like that ever again. OK, video number two!
I'm going to be truthful with you here: I am really, really scared. Very frightened. I feel like that poor guy in Gladiator who pisses his robe before some dude rips his head off with a metal ball that had two-inch spikes sticking out of it. Or Dominic Rhodes in a police car. Either one.
This morning I got an IM telling me to stay away from the clip. Do not watch it under any circumstances. I mean, when someone gets ahold of you just to tell you not to watch something, you probably shouldn't watch it. There are some things that you just can't unsee; I think I am about to see just that. Gulp.
where he shreds his knee for no good reason look harmless by comparison. And since these things tend to come in threes, much like celebrity deaths, who's next? Ty Thomas seems most likely, but I got my money on Brendan Todd Haywood, mainly because I wanted to say Brendan Todd Haywood.
But back to Shaun Livingston: AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
You know what? This whole crap about confronting your fears is bullshit. That's terrible advice. I want no part of anything like this ever again. But then again...maybe you just have to go over the top with it. So that's what we'll do. I've never seen Lawrence Taylor snap Jos Theisman's leg. Really, I haven't. So I'm gonna do it now. I know going in that this is a terrible idea that will absolutely not work and turn me into a shivering idiot for several days. But I'ma do it anyways.
Here we go...
I agree with the announcer: that was a really bad call. I don't feel good at all. This was a terrible experience that wasn't worth it at all. I am going to lay down on a matress surrounded by as many pillows and blankets as possible. And maybe Jack should rethink that whole count to 5 thing...I mean, he's the only one in a cage right now.
What a terrible, terrible idea. Good to be back, though.
Thursday, February 15, 2007
The Seven Most Unstoppable Moves in the NBA.
Tony Kornheiser said the other day that the reason people don't watch the NBA is because the players are too good. And to an extent, that is true. NBA players are so good that they really make difficult things look mundane. Casual basketball fans, or even some avid ones, sometimes don't fully understand just how hard some of the things are that these guys do.
And not even things like Vince Carter jumping over some random seven footer or Rip Hamilton running his man off 14 screens before draining a 15-foot jumper, things the average guy sitting on the couch or the bar stool knows he can't do. I mean things just like a guy catching a pass in transition and hitting an open three or someone driving, absorbing contact and still being able to finish. You see them on highlights so much that you just expect it to happen and don't really appreciate it for how difficult it is. Sometimes it doesn't work out, and you'll hear "Oh, c'mon, it was a layup! I coulda made that!" or "He was wide open! What are they paying you for, anyways?"
And do you know who's fault that is? The super-duper stars. They make it look too easy, like they aren't even trying. The king of this is Tracy McGrady, who looks like he would rather be napping insted of scoring 35 on someone. But when those superstars really do try to score, they are unstoppable. No single human being on the planet can stop them. If there was a one-on-one contest in Vegas this weekend among the NBA elite, it would never end, because sans double teams, these guys are scoring every single time. No exceptions. They have moves that are impossible to stop.
So what are these moves, you ask? Well, why don't you just pull up a seat and let me tell you.
Ray Allen's Jumper. Alright, we are starting off with something that really isn't a move, per se, but it is just so damn pretty I had to put it on here. The release is so pure - the wrist just flicks the ball towards the rim, spinning it perfectly. The ball positively tears through the net; there may not be a prettier sound in the world. Whap! Then the ball rests in the nylon for a split second, almost pausing to admire what it has just done, and then falls peacefully to the floor, like it was meant to do nothing else. Poetry, really.
Paul Pierce's Pull Up J. Here's what Pierce does, and so do a lot of other players, but Pierce is the first one I remember doing it regularly, and I think he is the best at it. After he has beaten you to the rim a few times, you're expecting drive again. He dribbles once or twice with the left hand, and then starts the motion to cross over, raising his shoulders and moving his hands to simulate the beginning of the move. It really looks like he's about to cross over, only at the absolute last second, he aborts it and rises fluidly into his jumper. The defender is low and backing up, having recognized the crossover's commencement, and is helpless to rise up and challenge the shot. Pierce gets a clean look at the rim, which he usually buries. Unless you are waiting for it, there is just no way to stop it. Just pray he misses. All you can do.
KG's Baseline Fade Away. Length, athleticism, quickness. Garnett sets his defender up for this beautifully with a quick shoulder twitch to the middle, and by the time the D reacts, he is already spinning towards the baseline. He is so damn long you aren't going to block it anyways, but he is so athletic that he jumps higher and further back than anybody else possibly could in a fade away. Plus, he shoots it well above his head. The separation he gets is phenomenal.
Dwyane Wade's Spin. Perhaps the best move in the world, ever. I mean, how are you supposed to deal with this?
Dirk's Foul Line Fade Away. Kinda like Garnett's, but not really. Garnett is trying to out-athletic you, out jump you. Dirk has no such aspirations; I don't even think he leaves the floor to jump. He just knows that because of his perimeter skills, team's have no choice but to guard him with someone smaller and quicker. So he'll catch the ball on the perimeter, and patiently and methodically work his way to the foul line area. Once he's there, he shows you his back, leans back, and releases. It's that simple, but I don't think I've ever seen it blocked, and he's so good at it it is basically a layup. Maybe in the past you could play him to it, but now he's a threat to get to the rim, too, so good luck.
LeBron's Hesitation. Either in transition or at the top of the key. Really, I just feel bad for the guy in his way. Hell, sometimes two or three people can't stop it because he's such a freight train. Remember him carrying Pistons defenders to the rim in the playoffs last year like he was Mark Bravaro fighting for two extra yards? In transition, he is getting to the rim; all he does is pause for a moment to make the defender think, and then he is blowing right by them. Same thing in the half court: unless you are constantly backing up, he is by you. It is so effective and works because he is so strong. He's strong enough to take the contact from the initial defender and then from the help defender and still finish. If I was guarding him, I would pray he was shooting jumpers that day.
Kobe Bryant's Jab Series. Kobe Bryant is the only player I have ever seen pick up his dribble on the perimeter and then still jab himself enough space to get off his jumper. Seriously. He doesn't even need his dribble to back the defender up. I wish I could explain how he does that, but I really have no idea. Houdini doesn't. When he does have a dribble, fuggitaboudit. He will get to where ever he wants. It really is incredible how far up he backs guys just by jabbing his right foot at them. And it is a threat to happen every single time he catches the ball. Back when he shot every time, he must have scared the shit out of defenders. I mean, he probably still does, but there really isn't the thought of 81 looming over their heads anymore. Scary as hell.
Allen Iverson's Crossover. Yea, I know we aren't breaking any new ground here, and it's been around for a while, but it is still the gold standard of NBA moves. He doesn't do it as much anymore, and he isn't as vicious with it as he used to be (like when he got MJ) but when he does break it out, the defender is worthless. He just gets served, every time. Ask Antonio Daniels. It's like the good china you don't break out for every meal, but when it does come out, you know there is something to get excited about. Plus he has that sweet finish where he will come from the right side, drive past the rim, all the way to the left side of the rim, and then shoot back at the basket, falling away. It has been dissected countless times - remember that commercial with Pat Croce, I think? - but it's worth it. If you want to call it the single most unstoppable move in NBA history, you won't get an argument out of me.
What moves did I leave off the list? I know there's a few...
LeBron Makes Gilbert Look Foolish. Again.
Well, LeBron responded to Gilbert's accusation that Bron Bron doesn't want the ball late in games, via Brian Windhorst's blog:
"I made two game-winners in the playoffs against him and knocked him out of the playoffs," James said. "I don't understand where he gets that from, that doesn't make sense to me."Hey, I'm with ya Bronny. I said that same thing. And I can remember LeBron hitting a couple of game winners in the regular season, too.
But this is more about Gilbert than LeBron. There was no way that was going to end by making Gil look anything but foolish. He is just setting himself up to look bad. LeBron didn't really even have to try hard; I mean, it was one of the defining moments of last season's playoffs. They'll be showing that on ESPN's 50K episode.
I'm telling ya Gil - actually, I am begging you - just shut up until the playoffs start. Please. You will have people literally begging for you to say anything. You are just flooding the market right now. if "funny Gilbert quotes" was a stock, it would be plummeting. Create a little demand, eh? (I think I took that from a Dave Chappelle line, but I can't remember which one...)
And it is still crazy Arenas would say that after LeBron scared him into missing those two free throws last year. It really is. Maybe Gil got the whole thing backwards and meant to say it was actually himself who doesn't want the ball, although that doesn't make sense, because he hit a few games winners this year...oh, maybe that's it! Maybe he's all ultra-confident from putting his hands in the air before the ball even went through the net (which was distinctively cool, I must say). But there is a colossal difference between drilling them in January and drilling them in May and June.We shall see, Gil, we shall see...
(I wonder what the conspicuously quite Zero has to say about all this. If anything sums up P23 and LitP, it is Bronny vs. Agent Zero.)
Is Tiki Barber Whining? It Sounds Like He Is Whining. Yea, He's Whining.
Could someone please take two minutes out of their day and explain to me the appeal of Tiki Barber? I mean, he's a nice enough guy - I guess - and he doesn't stutter when he talks, which is nice, but what is so unique and desirable about him that he was the centerpiece of a bidding war between NBC and ESPN?
I don't know what other talking heads pull in, but it seems like NBC broke the bank to get Tiki. ESPN offered him 10 mil over 4 years, but he turned that down to do the Today Show and some NFL stuff with NBC for between 2.5 and 3 mil per.
I just don't see what is that overwhelming about the guy. I mean, has anyone ever said to you, "Hey man, you shoulda heard what this athlete just said" and you thought of Tiki Barber? Not at first, but at all? How about "Man...can you believe what that NFL player said?" or "I just heard the most insightful thing from this NFC East running back" and Tiki Barber popped into your head? To be honest, if someone said "Guess what Giants running back said this" I would have a hard time deciding between the Tiki Torch and Brandon Jacobs. And he's raking in 3 mil per?
Isn't it going to be weird hearing him talk about stuff besides football? What's he going to do on the Today Show, exactly? I hope it isn't interviews or human interest pieces, because he always crept me out a little. He would do that thing where he talked just above a whisper and acted like what he had to say was much, much more important than anything else. He was eerily condescending, if that makes any sense. I don't know how smart he is, but he comes off as thinking he is easily the smartest man in the room, so well-rounded around all these other people who are just athletes.
Maybe I am just too caught off guard by all this to make any sense of it. Has any other player been this coveted before? Was any other player basically talked into retirement because he had a lucrative career as a talking head lined up? Because that is the one and only reason Tiki left football; if he had no post-NFL plans, he would be lifting and running right now. OK, he would be getting ready to go to Vegas for the All-Star game and confuse the hell out of some groupies with Ronde. But next week, he would be lifting and running. As it is, he gets to spend Sunday Nights sitting in one of those big comfy leather couches listening to Jerome Bettis laugh.
I hope he bombs.
I don't know why, exactly. Maybe it is because he walked away from pro football for no real good reason. And now he's gonna sit around and talk about it. It's his life, and if he wants healthy knee caps when he's 60, I'm not gonna judge him. But it still pisses me off. At least when Barry Sanders walked away in his prime, he had some real issues and then disappeared from the spotlight.
Or maybe it is because Tiki is whining as he walks out the door.
"Coach Coughlin is very hard-nosed, and I didn't get a lot of time off, couldn't sit down and rest myself, and so it was a constant grind -- a physical grind on me that started to take its toll."Man, I'm sorry to hear that Tiki. Really, that does suck. Sounds like some petty whining but at least you are being humble and mature about it.
"The grind took its toll on me and really forced me to start thinking about what I wanted to do next. And that's not a bad thing. That's a good thing, for me at least. Maybe not for the Giants, because they lose one of their great players, but for me, it is," Barber said.Well, then. So much for that humble thing. "One of their great players"? Listen man, you were pretty good. You weren't great. You know why your TD numbers were down? Because you couldn't punch it in from five yards and in. And that is a real nice slap across the face to all your ex-teammates. "Hey fellas, I'm sittin' pretty, but tough cookies for you cuz you don't got me."
"[Coughlin] has changed in little ways, but I think he still has to more," Barber said. "The game has changed, players are different, and you have to understand them and get to know them in order to encourage and motivate them to be successful. We'll see what happens this season."Man, doesn't that sound like he is just going to sit back, kick his feet up and cheer for Tom Coughlin to run the Giants into the ground? And how the hell does he take cheap shots at Coughlin? Before Coughlin was in the picture, the best thing Tiki Barber was known for was fumbling. That Escalade commercial is full of shit; Barber did not take advantage of opportunities - Coughlin, for not getting to know him, turned him into an All-Pro back.
I guess the thing that has me the most pissed off is that I was looking forward to not seeing or hearing from Tiki Barber ever again. That whole "let the fact that I am retiring thing out early so that I can bask in the limelight a little longer" thing was pretty much bullshit, and now I have to watch him act like he's better than everybody on the NBC set.
I hope Chris Collinsworth just owns him week after week.
Tim Hardaway Hates Gay People. So Let It Be Known.
As you may have gathered, Tim Hardaway is not a fan of gay people. Here's the quote, just in case you haven't had it pounded over your head enough yet:
"You know, I hate gay people, so I let it be known," Hardaway said. "I don't like gay people and I don't like to be around gay people. I am homophobic. I don't like it. It shouldn't be in the world or in the United States."
He said this while on Dan Le Betard's (Is he French? Sounds French.) radio show yesterday. I would love to hear the actual interview...if you are Le Betard, what do you do after someone says something like that? Do you keep pushing him to do a little more gay bashing? I mean, clearly Hardaway has something to say, a good interviewer let's him say what he wants to say, right? Or do you try to bail him out, maybe save him from himself? I didn't hear it, but if Danny boy did try to throw him a rope, Mr. UTEP 2 Step hung himself with it:"And second of all, if he was on my team, I would, you know, really distance myself from him because, uh, I don't think that's right. And you know I don't think he should be in the locker room while we're in the locker room. I wouldn't even be a part of that," he said.Let's get to that point first, shall we? Everyone has really brushed the whole locker room thing aside, which was, at least to me, surprising. It seems like a lot of athletes wanted to basically say what Hardaway said - maybe not in such strong language - and were groping for excuses to cover themselves, like LeBron saying it would be a "trust factor." That's a pretty sad excuse, I think, but it seemed like the whole "I would be uncomfortable naked in the locker room" thing was perfect if you just didn't like gay people and needed a politically correct reason to feel that way. Or if you really were uncomfortable with being naked in the locker room. Either one.
I haven't been in any NBA locker rooms lately (or ever), but the way I understand it, women aren't allowed in the showers. Why is that? Whatever the reason is, wouldn't that same reason apply to a gay man? Maybe I am way off base here, or completely uneducated about the topic, but it seems to me that, logically, that would add up. If I have this whole thing wrong, someone, please, tell me. Should I not be putting straight women and gay men in the same boat?
And can you get mad at a player if he didn't want to shower with a gay teammate? Some people might not have a problem with it, but if someone did, could you fault them? Maybe they feel uncomfortable exposing themselves to someone who may be attracted to what they see. That isn't to say they are homophobic and couldn't carry on a business, if not personal, relationship with them, but maybe they draw the line at getting naked and soaping up in the same room. I mean, a gay teammate isn't going to try something sexual in the shower - that, I think, would never, ever happen; my God, remember the reaction to Reggie Evans? - but can you fault Hardaway for not wanting to expose his junk?
If all he had said was, "I would feel uncomfortable showering with a gay man" I don't think anyone could criticize him.
But he did say some other things, like "hate" and doesn't belong "in this world" and "homophobic" so he is going to be sent to the principal's office.
Maybe the most important question here, however, is, Where the hell did Tim Hardaway come from? I haven't heard that name in ages. He was just laying around and felt a need to speak up? Were they interviewing every mid-90s superstar about his feelings on John Amaechi? Hey, someone find out how does Anthony Mason feel about this! What are Pooh Richardson's thoughts on the subject? Did anyone check up on J.R. Reid's stance? (I kinda feel like playing NBA Jam on Super NES right now.)
You know what else I don't understand? He apologized. You know, there are just certain bells that can't be unrung, and this, I am afraid, is one of them. What the hell could he possibly say that would make things OK? It isn't like he was like "yea, I don't know, I think gay people aren't cool" or something. He said he hates them and they don't belong in the world. Clearly, he wasn't just caught up in the moment. This is how he really feels.
"Yes, I regret it. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said I hate gay people or anything like that," he said. "That was my mistake."Two things here: first, he said "That was my mistake," which is exactly what Pete Rose said in his 20/20 interview, so we are off to a screaming success here. Second, all he said was that he shouldn't have said it; point being, yea, that's what I think, but that was stupid and wrong off me to say it in public. All around, one of the better apologies I've heard lately. He should hire Kim Etheridge. I don't think she's doing anything these days.
Why even apologize, though? Doesn't this whole scenario need a villain? Why not just be like "You're damn right I said it! I'd say it again! C'mon dawg, that shit is gross!" Maybe the whole being ostracized from the community thing would bother him. Who knows.
So, to recap: Tim Hardaway hates gay people, he knows he shouldn't have said it, and I have no idea what I am talking about. Very succinct.
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Gilbert Arenas Should Calm Down. But Just a Little Bit.
I have had enough of Gilbert Arenas. Really, Gil, it's enough.
Now, this is absolutely hypocritical of me. I know this. I can't stand it when athletes rattle off quote after rehearsed quote without even thinking about what they are saying. Nothing could be more boring. It was beyond refreshing when Gilbert started just saying whatever popped into his head. Most every athlete is going to have something funny or insightful or crazy or ridiculous to say every so often, but no one delivers the goods on a consistent basis like Gil - it isn't even close, actually - and, really, my life is more fulfilled because of it.
But he needs to just quit for a while. I don't stop altogether, but just take a break, gather his thoughts, drop some more game-winners, keep the Wiz winning, and everyone will be dying to hear from you come playoff time. I picture him with a little dry erase board where he can write things down that pop into his head so he won't forget later.
Let us miss you a little bit, Gil.
It is just getting to be too much. You can't go two days without hearing something outlandish from Gilbert HQ. Take his prediction that he would drop 50 on he Blazers because he feels Nate McMillan played a huge role in getting him cut from team USA this summer. He didn't get 50; he didn't even come close: he scored 9. Instead of just chalking it up to an off night or making a small joke - really, anything would have done - he came up with some excuse about too much focus on defense that I don't even think he believed:
"I knew after I said that that they'd double (team) me," he says "so I came out not too aggressive and got my teammates involved. It was part of my plan. But when we go up to their place, they won't be expecting it, and they won't double me. That's when I'm really planning on dropping 50."(Quick sidenote: I'm getting all this from The D.C. Sports Bog, which, aside from blogging about all things DC sports, is awesome and couldn't have possibly picked a better pro basketball team to blog about. You have the daily Arenas quote, you have Brendan Todd Haywood ripping out dreads, Etan Thomas reading poetry and psyco-analyzing teammates, you have DeShawn Stevenson gambling away 5% of his salary while on film, you have a coach flipping out and kicking basketballs...really, if this was a TV series, no one would even believe it. Hell, it's real and I don't even believe it.)
First of all, how the hell do you "come out real aggressive and get your teammates involved"? Those seems to be mutually exclusive to me. But even that isn't true; he only had two assists, plus he jacked 8 threes and made none of them. And now the next time you play is when you "really plan on dropping 50"? C'mon Gil, just say you had a bad game and move on.
Then, for no real reason apparently, he decides to take a jab at LeBron:
"The guy LeBron needs is Sam Cassell," says Arenas, "He needs someone who wants to take the big shots at the end of the game." I interject that LeBron would never stand for that -- it would kill his ego. "LeBron would much rather have Cassell take the final shot," says Arenas. "People don't realize that LeBron doesn't want it."
This...this is just astounding to me. Is Gilbert a goldfish? Does he not remember how his season ended last year? LeBron had two game winners, and a third if you count him psyching Gilbert out at the line before Damon Jones drilled a game winner to send Gil back to his hyper-baric chamber for the summer. Unreal: Arenas has the most memorable choke at the free throw line since Nick Anderson committed career suicide, and he takes unprovoked jabs at LeBron for not being clutch enough.(Incedentally, LeBron really could use a great - um, good - point guard to play with. Cassell would be phenomenal in this regard. But not because LBJ isn't clutch enough.)
Listen, I love Gilbert. I love how he uses slights, whether real or perceived, to motivate him. If every athlete was this driven, the sporting world would be a better place. Much better, actually. I love how he wears the number 0 to remind himself of his doubters. I love how he works on his game constantly, to the point the coaches worry about him. I love how he looks for even the smallest advantage and then takes it to the extreme, like converting his entire house into one, huge hyper-baric chamber to simulate high altitude conditions. I love how he never forgets any disparaging comment, no matter how tiny; he started saying "quality shot" instead of Hibachi when he shot, because Kobe (!) questioned his shot selection.
But I am worried that he is turning into George Costanza in the last few seasons of Seinfeld, where George just really turned into a paradoy of himself. It was too much, it was over-the-top. Gilbert seems to be heading down the same road. He seems to just be saying shit because people have come to expect ridiculous shit from him. But really, he's like that guy from the Tigers last season who hit like 15 homers in the first week of the season - phenomenal, yes, but there is just no way to keep up that kind of pace. (Hey, I made Gil into a sitcom character and a baseball player in one paragraph. That was fun.)
Most of the stuff he says and does is usually all in good fun. After D'Antoni made his Duke comment, Gil took is seriously, but not too seriously; his "84 or 85" comment was great. Admitting he plays poker at halftime is hilarious, even if his coach probably wanted to pull an Awvee Storey on him after he said it. The $20,000 bet with Stevenson? Absolutely phenomenal; it showed simultaneously how good and light-hearted he is.But this latest stuff....really, what purpose does it serve? Does it make him look funny? No, and it doesn't even seem like that is just "Gil being Gil." It seems forced, unnatural. Unprovoked shots at a player who owned you and your team in the playoffs? Bad excuses for dismal performances? He really set the bar too high; he set himself up to look bad. I just don't want him losing his credibility or people being dismissive of him because all he does is talk, talk, talk (man, I really do care...) and then has to make even more outrageous statements to cover for his old ones.
So, Gil, take a break. Honestly, what would cause more of a stir: Gil saying a few more off-the-wall things, or refusing to speak until the playoffs? People would lose their minds if he suddenly turned into a Belichik-level recluse. That, I think, would be the most talked about thing he ever did.
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
Dirk and Steve, BFFL
Right now, the clear front-runners for NBA MVP are Steve Nash and Dirk Nowitzki. You could make the case for Kobe carrying an underwhelming Lakers team (seriously, what is Smush Parker doing out there?) or Chris Bosh's valiant effort to make basketball relevant north of the border, but it really boils down to Nash and Dirk.
My question is this: if Nash had decided to re-up with the Mavs instead of bolting to PHX, would this still be the case? Would the duo be like Leinart and Bush at USC, a pair of teammates running 1-2 for the most coveted individual award in the sport? Would the Mavs be undefeated right now?
Or did Steve Nash just cost the world more glossy-eyed bar pictures?
Did Dirk need to be in a situation where he was clearly the man? Was his maturity and development a forgone conclusion, or did shouldering the weight of the franchise year after year force him into becoming the player he is today?
Same with Nash: would he be the two-time defending Most Valuable Player right now? Or did he stumble into the perfect storm in Phoenix? Does he only have those two trophies on the mantle piece because he plays with the perfect cast of characters for his skill set and a system designed to magnify his strengths and diminish his weaknesses?
The answer is different for both, I think.
Dirk would have gotten to this point, I am pretty sure, regardless of who he played with or where he played. He is just a supreme talent; it was only a matter of time before he figured out the best way to combine his height and shooting touch. And he has started to take over games, and serieses (How the hell do you say 'more than one series'? What is the plural for series? My head is about to explode. There is no way 'serieses' is correct, but it will have to do for now): he was a one-man wrecking crew against San Antonio in the playoffs; not only did his improbable three-point play save the series (clutch), but he continually got the the free throw line (smart) and killed people on the glass (tough).
Would he be the same player with Nash still around? Well...I mean, how can having Steve Nash on your team hurt you, really? Dirk would still be able to take games over down the stretch - the Suns don't rely exclusively on Nash with the game on the line; more than a few Suns have hit big buckets late in games. What would happen is this: he'd still be one of the most frightening matchups in the L, but we'd underestimate his importance because he was playing with Nash. So maybe Nash did have to go for him to be as fully appreciated as he is now, but one thing is for certain: he is one stylish German.
Steve, on the other hand...I just don't think there is any way he reaches this level of prominence in Texas. Whether he makes the system or the system makes him is irrelevant. The point is that the PHX style of play and Steve Nash are perfect for each other. They really are. That system would not work as well anywhere else in the league, and Steve Nash would not be this good anywhere else in the league.
If he had stayed in Dallas, he would still be a tremendous point guard, an All-Star, someone always among the league lead in assists and who always made their teammates better. But he definitely would not have two MVP awards, and probably not one.
Remember, when he first left, everyone felt the Suns overpaid for him. He was old, his back was a question mark and even Mark Cuban wouldn't shell out the amount of dough Phoenix would. But Phoenix has rejuvenated him.
First of all, Nash couldn't have hand-picked better guys to play with. He has two absolutely phenomenal finishers in Amare and Shawn Marion, and Marion doubles as maybe the most versatile player in the league. He has shooters to stretch the floor, widening lines to drive into and making it harder for teams to help because they risk giving up wide open threes. He has a tough defender in the back court to guard the opposing teams best scorer. He has ridiculous options on the pick-and-roll even down to who he runs it with.
And the system in which he plays doesn't emphasize defense. Well, it does, but in a roundabout way: D'Antoni hung a sign in the locker room that says - and I may be paraphrasing here - "The best defensive team at the end of the night is the one with the most points." You won't be hearing that taught at too many basketball camps, but it really is hard to argue with. The Suns do play D, but they will never, ever be known for it, and that helps Nash out immensely.
If he had stayed in Dallas and played under Avery Johnson, this wouldn't be the case. Mr. Fire and Brimstone spouted the importance of defense since the moment he took over (and probably before that). During last season's playoff run, the Mavs almost always had someone on the floor who was there solely for defense: either Diop or Dampier in the middle and/or...oh, what the hell was that guards name - someone help me out here. Anything they get offensively was gravy. In PHX, all four players around Nash can score, and score in a variety of ways. In Dallas, his options would have been limited; in PHX, they are endless.
One thing is for certain: he is one stylish Canadian.
If Nash had stayed, I don't think either of them wins an MVP. They would cancel each other out; we'd hear that Nash is making Dirk look good and that Dirk can bail Nash out.
But now they are on separate teams and are probably going to meet in the Western Conference Finals, with the winner taking home their first championship. Good for one of them. I just hope that after one wins, the other takes him out to some random bar, gets bombed off Molsen and Becks and then the pictures of their revelry finds their way in to this here Interweb.
:35 Shot Clock
We might as well get this out of the way first: Duke is still going to make the NCAA tournament.
They will wind up getting 20 wins, and that’s before the ACC Tourney, in which they have been historically successful. They have three impressive non-conference wins against
So they’ll get in, but as like a 9 or a 10 seed. What is more embarrassing: missing the tourney altogether, or going as a 10 seed? I say going as a 10 seed. If you muss atogether, you just say hey, you know what, we’ve fallen on hard times and this just wasn’t our year. But we’ll bounce back next year. But going in as a 10 seed…well that is reserved for all of the underachieving programs that CBS just wants to see on TV. And that is exactly what Duke is. I don’t care what Andy Katz or Pat Forde say, the committee thinks about this stuff.
That said…what if Duke goes 6-10 in the ACC? I think it’s a pretty real possibility; they still have to play at No. 21 Boston College, Georgia Tech,
Forget 7-9….it is completely conceivable that Duke does not win another game in ACC play all year. I mean, it probably won’t happen, but if it does, would you be surprised? No way they get in with only five ACC wins, or even six, I don’t care who they beat outside ACC. Duke has some work to do. Let’s hope they screw it up.
You know what is going to happen? They are going to go 6-10 and then win the ACC Tournament, get the automatic bid, make a run to the Elite 8 and piss off everyone in the entire nation. (And yes, that was a whole hearted reverse jinx.)
The Dukies start their road to the NIT tomorrow night when they play BC. I don’t know who to cheer against more: Duke or Jared Dudley. I can’t put my finger on exactly why I dislike J-Dud so much; maybe it is all the screaming and yelling, maybe it is his hair, which looks…ah, not very well groomed. I think it is just his general demeanor on the court. I want to tell him to shut the hell up. You play for
Also: I would like to amend my selection of Dominic James as the point guard I would feel most confident in leading my team on a Final Four run. James is still an incredible talent, and if you need him to get you 30 some night and carry a team to a win, I think he’s your guy. But as far as LEADING a team on a prolonged run, the pick has to be Acie Law IV, who will be known as simply AL4 from now on around these parts. He has handed in some ballsy performances lately, giving his team whatever it needs – scoring, distribution, defense – you name it. And Bill Self called him the most clutch shooter in the Big 12. A gutsy leader who gives you whatever you need: sounds like the ideal point guard to me.
You know what match up I most wish would happen in the tournament?
The Weekly Final Four Confidence Picks: As far as resumes go, the polls reflect pretty well how the teams should be ranked, I think. But rarely – if ever – does the teams ranked No. 1-4 all make it to the Final Four. Usually at least three of them crumble.
So, who are the four teams you are most confident in making a trip to the Final Four? As of right now, my list looks like this:
- No one. I feel incredibly confident in those three right now, and no one else is really all that compelling.
The Weekly Team That is Completely Overrated. Ladies and gentlemen, the Pitt Panthers. Let's ignore the fact that Pitt has not fared well in the NCAA Tourney over the last few years, and focus on this year's team instead. Let's look at their quality wins, shall we?
They did trounce Florida St. in the sixth game of the season, and they did beat G'Town in the middle of the year, but really, that's about it. They lost to Wisconsin and OK St. back to back and lost to Marquette and now Louisville. Their best road win of the year was at WVU, and that is a rivalry game. I know they have a good record, but are they really the seventh best team in the country? Would you be surprised if they lost in the first round? Me either.
If they had one perimeter player who you could just give the ball to and he'd get you a bucket, Pitt would be phenomenal. But they really don't. They rely mainly on their defense, and all it takes is one above-average shooting day from a team they aren't familiar with to knock them out of the dance, because they really can't go bucket-for-bucket on the other end. If I am a mid-major, and I draw Pitt in the opening round, I'm packing my suitcase for three nights.
The Weekly Oden or Durant Debate. I’m still firmly entrenched in the Durant camp. Here’s my latest reasoning. The No. 1 pick has a pretty good chance of going to
Of course, it isn’t guaranteed that
But back to the No. 1 pick: say whoever it is, either Durant or Oden, winds up in
From what we’ve seen, who is more likely to be able to handle that? Oden, who has contributed to an already very good team who was a top 10 team with out (they were competitive on the road at UNC while The Bearded One was still wrapping towels around his neck)? Or Durant, who has carried a solid
The Weekly All-American Selections: Two of these guys you can pencil in for the rest of the year: Oden and Durant. No brainers. But who are the other three?
- Durant (POY, too). The best player, right now, in college hoops. Period.
- Greg Oden. The reason
- Alando Tucker. If
- AL4. Cajones, man. Cajones.
- Tyler Hansbrough, Some one from UNC has to make it, right? He’s been the rock of the best offense if college hoops. That should mean something, right? (Ed. Note: This is a complete homer’s pick. But you knew that.)
One last thing: tournament week is a like college football’s bowl season, only it is meaningful and doesn’t suck. Just terrific game after terrific game. And they start at like, 8 am. Let’s bet on it.
