Point 23 | A sports blog making shallow, fairly obvious comments since 2006

Testing

2008-04-20T01:08:00.021-04:00

This was the type of game the Cavs like to play and often win. It was close most of the way and in the fourth quarter it was largely a halfcourt game with lots of bumping and bruising. This is not how every game will go, but some will. Ultimately, the Cavs won because they were at home and they had the best player on the floor. You know, like thousands of playoff games over the years.

This was the type of game the Cavs like to play and often win. It was close most of the way and in the fourth quarter it was largely a halfcourt game with lots of bumping and bruising. This is not how every game will go, but some will. Ultimately, the Cavs won because they were at home and they had the best player on the floor. You know, like thousands of playoff games over the years.

This was the type of game the Cavs like to play and often win. It was close most of the way and in the fourth quarter it was largely a halfcourt game with lots of bumping and bruising. This is not how every game will go, but some will. Ultimately, the Cavs won because they were at home and they had the best player on the floor. You know, like thousands of playoff games over the years.

This was the type of game the Cavs like to play and often win. It was close most of the way and in the fourth quarter it was largely a halfcourt game with lots of bumping and bruising. This is not how every game will go, but some will. Ultimately, the Cavs won because they were at home and they had the best player on the floor. You know, like thousands of playoff games over the years.

This was the type of game the Cavs like to play and often win. It was close most of the way and in the fourth quarter it was largely a halfcourt game with lots of bumping and bruising. This is not how every game will go, but some will. Ultimately, the Cavs won because they were at home and they had the best player on the floor. You know, like thousands of playoff games over the years.

This was the type of game the Cavs like to play and often win. It was close most of the way and in the fourth quarter it was largely a halfcourt game with lots of bumping and bruising. This is not how every game will go, but some will. Ultimately, the Cavs won because they were at home and they had the best player on the floor. You know, like thousands of playoff games over the years.

This was the type of game the Cavs like to play and often win. It was close most of the way and in the fourth quarter it was largely a halfcourt game with lots of bumping and bruising. This is not how every game will go, but some will. Ultimately, the Cavs won because they were at home and they had the best player on the floor. You know, like thousands of playoff games over the years.

This was the type of game the Cavs like to play and often win. It was close most of the way and in the fourth quarter it was largely a halfcourt game with lots of bumping and bruising. This is not how every game will go, but some will. Ultimately, the Cavs won because they were at home and they had the best player on the floor. You know, like thousands of playoff games over the years.

This was the type of game the Cavs like to play and often win. It was close most of the way and in the fourth quarter it was largely a halfcourt game with lots of bumping and bruising. This is not how every game will go, but some will. Ultimately, the Cavs won because they were at home and they had the best player on the floor. You know, like thousands of playoff games over the years.

This was the type of game the Cavs like to play and often win. It was close most of the way and in the fourth quarter it was largely a halfcourt game with lots of bumping and bruising. This is not how every game will go, but some will. Ultimately, the Cavs won because they were at home and they had the best player on the floor. You know, like thousands of playoff games over the years.

This was the type of game the Cavs like to play and often win. It was close most of the way and in the fourth quarter it was largely a halfcourt game with lots of bumping and bruising. This is not how every game will go, but some will. Ultimately, the Cavs won because they were at home and they had the best player on the floor. You know, like thousands of playoff games over the years.

This was the type of game the Cavs like to play and often win. It was close most of the way and in the fourth quarter it was largely a halfcourt game with lots of bumping and bruising. This is not how every game will go, but some will. Ultimately, the Cavs won because they were at home and they had the best player on the floor. You know, like thousands of playoff games over the years.

This was the type of game the Cavs like to play and often win. It was close most of the way and in the fourth quarter it was largely a halfcourt game with lots of bumping and bruising. This is not how every game will go, but some will. Ultimately, the Cavs won because they were at home and they had the best player on the floor. You know, like thousands of playoff games over the years.

Live Blogging the BCS National Title Game

2008-01-07T20:14:00.000-05:00

...for no real reason. Just felt like doing it. Yep. Pretend national championship game coverage after the jump.

I am a few minutes late to this party (which is OK, because no one is reading this). Actually, perfect timing, Jamario O'Neal just returned the opening kick off not very far.

Todd Boekman's first pass attempt results in him flat on his back and missing his receiver by three yards and Chris Wells - this is the man they call "Beanie," no? - doesn't do much better on second down. Sweater Vest dials up a nice pass play on third down for the conversion.

Remember how Beanie Wells didn't do a damn thing on second down? Well, he just did the complete opposite of that for like 60-some yards. Well then. 7-0 Buckeyes with 13:34 left in the first. I wish I woulda had the guts to pick OSU. I knew this shit was gonna happen.

I don't know Les Miles' coaching strategy perfectly, but I am willing to say he is going to make one borderline crazy call - going for it on fourth and 12, faking a punt from his own end zone, something - and I wonder if it is going to come now....nope, LSU settles for the FG. 10-3, slow guys from the North.

Beanie Wells is gashing the LSU front seven. He is gonna get some more stickers on his helmet, I think. Did anyone from Ohio State ever fill up their whole helmet with stickers? I'm not making fun - I think it is a cool tradition, actually - but what happens if they fill the whole helmet up?

LSU muffs a punt at the 15! Huge pile of people, but somehow LSU retains possession. I hate when mad dudes just pile on forever and won't let the refs get to the bottom of the pile. If you have no shot at the ball, you should get a penalty for doing that. I hate that shit.

Early Ducet gains 6 yards on his third catch of the game to close out the first. Gotta like how it is going, Buckeye fans.

I just realized that little "Hype it Up!" button is in the wrong place. I don't know how to fix it. You may just have to live with it. I am sorry though.

Matt Flynn is opting to leave his mouthpiece lodged in the top of his facemask instead of inserting it into his mouth. I don't know why, but he is. His choice, I guess.

Tedd Ginn Jr on the sidelines rocking a flat-brimmed White Sox hat and Mardi Gras beads, barking furiously into some wide receiver's ear - Hartline? What could he possible be talking about? His experience here last year (come to think of it, he did do pretty well for himself)? Maybe tales from a 1-15 season? I don't think I'd let him on my sideline; he seems like bad luck.

Boy, LSU is really screwing the pooch to get things started here. A Charles Barkley-tuuuurrible snap from center leaves LSU with 4th and 24 from their own 5. Hartline runs the punt back to the 41.

Break up the Buckeyes! Boeckman hits a wiiiiiiiide open dude down to the 15 yard line. LSU looks completely baffled. This is why it is so great that college football's champion is decide on the field.

OSU will settle for a FG after Boeckman can't find anyone open on second or third down. 10-0, Buckeyes. Lotta time left though, LSU, lotta time.

Chris Myers is a shmuck. Unless they make him talk about this cheesy shit, then its cool. But if this is the stuff he comes up with on his own? Shmuck.

This doesn't really feel like a big game right now. Is that just me? I think its the announcers. Or FOX. Both suck.

Hester busts through the line for a 20 yard pick up, followed by Flynn hooking up with Early Ducet along the sideline for the second time tonight. LSU looks like they may have realized why there are so many people watching them this evening.

Nine-yard game out of the "pistol" formation for LSU. I am intimately with the pistol: I had a dynasty one time in NCAA in the WAC with my brothers and my little brother had to be Nevada and all they had was the pistol. We made fun of him mercilessly - seriously, the pistol sucked - until he whipped his controller across the room, punched me as hard as he could, told us all to shutup and stormed out of the room. Love the pistol.

I think Trindn Holiday just screwed up the play, becuase Flynn is yelling at him - really, say Trindon did stay in to block...buys you an extra, what? Half a second? It'd look like the commercial where Matt Hasslebeck's o-line gets picked up and chucked down field.

LSU is marching...the cameras catch a young lady from Louisisana in a purple and gold Snow White costume...surrounded by no one in a costume. Wonder if she just makes small talk with everyone like shes not dressed like a Disney character?

Tie game! Flynn finds his tight end wide open. This game is becoming very entertaining...too bad Fox hired that robot who jumps around before NFL games to announce this evening's contest.

Beanie Wells is a monster. He's a, he's a, he's a monster. What a freaking stiff arm. He basically just picked up a LSU d-back with one arm and threw him to the turf as he was running. Poor LSU dude looked like he'd been thrown from a truck on the freeway.

Ooooooooooooooooooh! Robiskie drops a touchdown pass - nice job by the corner to get his hand in there at the last second. This game is all about the big play. Craig Stetlz hurt his hand or something...we'll be back for the FG try when he's OK.

Blocked! Man, another big play. ESPN might actually be forced to show more than three highlights from this game before 17 experts tell me why they were wrong before the game.

I am not a fan of all this shameless promotion, but I really like "Jumper Cam."

I am not a fan of Charles Davis. At all.

Rarely do players actually look like waterbugs when announcers claim they do, but Trindon Holiday actually did look like a little bug right there. He skittered.

I take back what I said about big plays. OSU had needed the big play to score thier 10 points. LSU has more or less marched down the field. This bodes well for LSU, I think.

Touchdown, LSU. Flynn hits Brandon LaFell sprinting to the left corner. 17 straight for LSU. Ohio State has to have a sick feeling of deja vu right about now.

Charles Davis warns Ohio State not to let Glenn Dorsey become emotionally nor physically involved in this game. Control Dorsey's emotion, Ohio State. It is your only hope.

Ohio State's gameplan seems to be revealing itself: throw deep. LSU is catching on and picks off a Boeckman bomb and runs it back inside the 30. Two quick passes has LSU down to the 1. My favorite play from the 1? Back shoulder fade. It is 99% impossible to stop, surveys have shown.

LSU tries to run up the middle on first down and gets stuffed. Told ya. Same result on second down.

I really wish Charles Davis would shut up. No one cares what you would do with LSU's running back. Why don't you tell me why Les Miles is doing that with the running back? Thanks.

You know what All State? No one does care who the kicker is. Ever.

Hester punches it in and LSU is an extra point away from 24 unanswered points. I am pretty glad my not-to-be named former college roommates is an hour away; kind of a big OSU fan known for slamming dudes into walls who mouth off about the Buckeyes. Nice guy, though. Really, he is.

Ohio State is busy not doing a thing on offense, so they punt to LSU, who is content to go into the locker room content to be on pace for a 48-20 blow out. Here's hoping Ohio State makes this fun. Back after the half.

We open the second half with Jim Tressel staring intently into his giant play card. The front says "Run" and the back says "Pass Deep." I'd stick with "run," Jim.

He is going to have to get the ball back first, though. Staying true to form, however, LSU is picking up chunks of yards on every snap, zapping the clock in the process. A score here sucks for everyone except LSU fans.

Trindon Holiday skittered again. (In Lil John voice): Awwww skit skit skit!

Another first down for LSU. Know what sucks about this? Les Miles isn't going to get to call an awesome play. During routes we all lose.

Trindon Holiday just got closed lined. It was like a water bug on a windshield.

Matt Flynn intentionally grounds the ball, leaving LSU with third and really long near midfield. They have a nice lead, could play it safe....I think this is where Les Miles makes his mark. Let us see. Well, Les burns a time out to think it over. This is gonna be good.

That did not live up to my lofty expectations. LSU looks like they were gonna go deep, but it was covered; Flynn throws it into the ground. Well, at least it gives the Buckeyes a chance to make it interesting.

Scratch that. OSU roughs the kicker. You know what? Kickers need a little roughing. And it isn't like he tried to lay the punter out, he just missed the ball. What a dumb penalty.

LSU busts out the Pistol again and Hester breaks off an 9-yard run. Somehow a screen on the following play works and LSU is down to the 4. Seems like whatever LSU tries, it works. Aaaaand Early Ducet is the lucky beneficiary of two lousy tackles and LSU is now up by three scores. Looks like a might make my bed time.

If Ohio State wants to make this game remotely interesting, it needs a touchdown on this possession. Beanie Wells is averaging like 12 yards a touch. Let's get him the ball.

Seems LSU is aware that Beanie was gonna be getting the ball. Time to flip the play card over.

Apparently, LSU is playing man-to-man on OSU's wide receivers and then using the extra defenders to annihilate the run. This means that we are going to have to listen to how the South is so, so much faster than the North for the next month. This sucks.

Here we go! Malcolm Jenkins picks off Flynn and nearly runs it back to the house. OSU has the ball at the 11. 3:44 to go in the third: this is 4-down territory.

Man, Jenkins stepped out by like a pinky toe. Will this do anything to stop people from saying how much faster LSU is? Nope, definitely not.

On third and 1, Wells gets stuffed for about a 4 yard loss. Looking at 4th and 5 after that disaster. Sweater Vest is not phased: Buckeyes will go for it.

Touchdown! Hell of a catch from Robiskie, diving parallel to the goal line to snag a must-have conversion.

Charles Davis, after a nice OSU stop: "You feel the momentum? It hasn't shifted." You just let me know when something happens, momentum-wise, Charles. I can handle the rest myself.

I got a Sven for Christmas this year.

3rd and 7 for LSU at thier own 33. Flynn can't find anyone open, so he runs and is tackled. Punt time...I think a safe assumption would be that OSU has the return on. Doesn't matter, though, cuz LSU's punter booms it through the end zone.

Back-to-back first downs for the Buckeyes: Hartline for the first, Beanie for the second. Make that three in a row as Boeckman finds Robiskie.

Big third down coming up for Ohio State. Boeckman wanted the quick slant, it wasn't there and Boeckman paid for it. They'll go for it on fourth down.

Talk about your all time back fires. Boeckman gets drilled by the entire defensive line as he tries to throw, fumbles and the ball winds up going 30 yards the wrong way. If Jim Tressel has an easy button, now would be the time to use it.

LSU pulls out the pistol to kill some clock. Tressel looks like he'd put a pistol of his own to good use.

OSU will get the ball at their own 20. This is their last shot.

4th and 1. Here's the ballgame. Wells moves the pile and picks up the first.

Boeckman ends it with a pick and OSU's title dream mercifully comes to an end. Congrats to LSU for losing twice this seasons and winning the national title. Goodnight.

What I Hope Happens on My Summer Vacation...

2007-07-16T12:11:00.000-04:00

Aaaaaaand, we're back! I have no idea how long it has been since there was some original material, but, well...the fact that I can't even remember that far back probably isn't a good thing. Hopefully, this is the start of a nice, long streak of everyday posts, but we'll see. To be fair, the sporting world has been boring as hell lately, so it isn't as if there has been a plethora of material to talk about. That said, it is still inexcusable. I'd make a joke about some type of refund here, but I think that has already been done, and this is getting old anyways.

Since there isn't a damn thing going on, here is one man's wish list for the rest of summer...

I want...

...to watch more tennis. The Federer/Nadal final at Wimbledon was riveting, and I don't even watch tennis. I think the last match I watched was like Federer/Roddick like a year ago when people were actually giving Roddick a chance (and before that, it was Michael Chang on USA....man, I loved Michael Chang. And Gladiators. And Wings. I can't believe there was a time in my life when USA was my favorite channel. Seems a little implausible, no?).

But back to Federer v. Nadal: That was just exciting TV. I don't really know what I am talking about, but Nadal seemed infinitely more exciting; it seemed like he wanted to obliterate every ball he hit and had no qualms trying to place the ball in improbably sports, which he did, like, most every time. Federer seemed like a stoic brick wall, even was he was smashing his racket and challenging balls even I could tell were out. It was just a perfect combination; I wanted it to last at least 45 more games.

I may be may off here, but it seemed kind of like Iverson vs. Duncan, which, if you think about it, would be a pretty fun one-on-one game to watch. And to keep the basketball analogy going, I love how tennis players can just stop a match for however long they feel like it and berate the ref (ump?) who sits in the little lifeguard tower (the NBA should definitely have one of those guys at center court). I kept expecting them to get a quick technical whenever they did this while their coach and their masseuse held them back....then I remembered that the NBA was over. 'Sheed should pick up tennis; he'd love the freedom.

But it makes me want to watch more tennis. I have no idea if there are any players outside of Federer and Nadal that can make a match that exciting, but I am willing to give it a try. And I'd love it if I had an American to cheer for. Right now, I am firmly entrenched in the Nadal Camp, but I'll gladly jump ship to a worthwhile American. Is Roddick my best bet?

...Tiger to come from behind in a major, preferably the British this week. It is really the only glaring hole in his resume, and I would like to see him amend it. It is a completely made up and arbitrary and contrived and idiotic hole in his resume, probably thought up by some screaming head who needed something to yell about on TV and I really just don't want to hear about it anymore. I really don't know how you can use it to discredit the guy.

Plus, it would help me win my argument that Tiger is the greatest athlete in the world right now, even better that Mr. Federer. Both of them seem to have one huge problem they need to tidy up before they basically perfect their craft. Federer needs to win on clay; Tiger needs a Major comeback win. That is what Skip Bayless tells me, anyways, and he is always right, because he yells the loudest.

I have a sneaking suspicion that Federer is slipping and Nadal is gaining (I am more than likely very, very wrong here) but when/if Nadal beats him on a surface other than clay and Tiger pulls off a comeback win? This completely made up, arbitrary, contrived argument is ova.

(Oh, and I am thrilled that the British is being held at Carnoustie this year. Van de Velde's six on eighteen is one of my favorite moments of all-time, sports or non-sports. I could watch that on a loop all day. I love how he takes it so seriously, like he is not screwing up at all, and then when he putts in to force a playoff- after heading into the hole with a freakin' 3 shot lead - he pumps his fist and screams like he just eagled to win the tourney. And I love him standing in the water with no socks or shoes on.)

...ESPN's "Who's Now" Contest to be changed. ESPN really dropped the ball on this one. Why only 32 athletes, which can only argued and debated over just the summer? Why not make it 128 entries? No, 256! A million! It is seriously an awesome debate, trying to decide who is the most "Now." Why can't it last for a whole year? I really don't get it, ESPN. You have an awesome host in Stu Scott (for real, he is so cutting edge), so why wouldn't you keep it going as long as possible? The ESPN brain trust had a good thing going, but it is only going to last until August? What the hell, ESPN? I don't want any more damn highlights! I don't want to see games and stuff....I want debate, and more of it! I feel cheated.

Screw the NCAA tournament; we need to get Jim Boehiem to rally for expansion, immediately. I don't know what Wilbon loves more, the "Who's Now" tourney or having Boehim on PTI to whin about only 64 teams getting in, so PTI can devote a whole day to this, with Stu Scott sitting in for Kornheiser! It's a win-win!

...the USA to dominate the Little League World Series. I want Team USA's cleanup hitter to have porkchop sideburns, a fu manchu, grab his cup more than A-Rod, chew and spit relentlessly and swing a bigger bat than Albert Pujols. I want just bomb after bomb; I want him to hit them so far that the little kids that scramble after the balls are exhausted by the time they get to them. I want Taiwan to demand to see a birth certificate.

I want a tall, lanky pitcher throwing "the equivalent" of a 137 major league fastball. I want a lead off hitter who can bunt a double. I want them all to have ridiculous celebrations and handshakes. I want stadiums to chant "U-S-A! U-S-A!"

I want them to capture the imagination of a country.

...to get into baseball. I would like to use the US dominating the LLWS to spring board me back into loving baseball. I don't know why, but I just can't get into it. I really, really want to, but I just can't find the consistant motivation. Hopefully, an 11-year-old with three tattoos can do that for me.

U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A!

...Team USA dominating at whatever tournament it is that they are playing in this summer. C'mon fellas, just put it all together. Dominate. Win going away. Play as a team, play like it is fun, play with some energy, play with some inspiration, play like you want to be there. Give us a reason to cheer for you, other than the fact that it says "USA" on the front of your jersies. Give us a little confidence for the Olympics.

Give us a reason to chant U-S-A! U-S-A! U-S-A! I really, really just want to chant that a lot.

...one blockbuster NBA trade. I don't even care who it is; the Ray Allen-to-Boston deal just didn't do it for me. Kobe to Memphis. KG to Golden St. If it could involve one side getting completely fleeced, that would be enjoyable, too.

Ideally, I'd like to see both Kobe and KG shipped to the East. I would love a more distributed balance of power. But I will take whatever I can get.

...something unpredictable, but insane, to happen. I don't know what...maybe like Gary Sheffield calling Joe Torre a racist or Ron Artest and Stephen Jackson both getting suspended...although if you though for about 30 seconds, you could come up with both those scenarios. I want a scandal that will creep into the headlines of the "regular" news, but not something as depressing as Mike Vick's dog-fighting ring.

Maybe Bonds breaking the record, then admitting he took steriods, while Selig is helpless to do anything about it. I want something soap opera-ish, that I can follow just a little too much for a month or two. Maybe Zach Randolph can do something at a strip club, I don't know. I just need something.

...to learn how to use Ballhype. I have a vague idea how to use it, but I feel like my grandpa trying to figure out a DVD player. Someone just explain it to me. I don't get it. I am ashamed to admit it, but I don't get it. Help. Please.

The Only NBA Draft Review That is Four Days Late and Doesn't Mention Either Greg Oden or Kevin Durant. Perfect.

2007-07-02T02:06:00.000-04:00

Well, I'm a few days late to the party, but let's talk a little bit about the NBA Draft, anyways. Hey, July just started. What do you want to talk about? Baseball? (Just kiddin', baseball; we'll get around to you sooner or later.)

First things first: the three big trades.

Zach Randolph is a New York Knickerbocker. Say what you want about Isiah (like, for instance, that he can pinch your ass so hard that he will send you airborn, which is 100% true, by the way), but at least the man is consistent. I remember reading somewhere that Isiah's only thought process during a trade is, "Did I get the best player?" He certainly maintained that theme, but...wow. If Eddie Curry was left-handed and didn't have a shaky ticker and liked strippers more, he'd be Zack Randolph, no? Isn't this the same as bringing in Stevie Franchise with Starbury already on the roster? Too bad they had to move Franchise in the deal; those four coulda filmed some Double Mint commercials for the Jumbotron or something. I have a sneaking suspicion that things absolutely explode in NY this year.

Jeff Green is Traded From One Green Team to Another Green Team. Hey, Brewer didn't go to Milwaukee; I need to get a lame pun in somewhere. I don't get why the Celtics just don't trade Paul Pierce. They aren't winning shit with Pierce & Allen, so what's the point? Why trade out of this draft, of all drafts? This trade does make both the Celtics and the Sonics about a hundred more times more interesting to watch next year, though, so that's something.

Also: the Celtics tanked for Ray Allen.

Brandan Wright taunts MJ; MJ immediately ships his ass to Golden St. I don't know which franchise won here - Golden St. loses a crucial part of the magical run to the second round last year, but gains the perfect big man for their style; Charlotte has a dude that they know they can get points out of every night, but they are paying a shit load for it - but I do know which player won: Brandan Wright. He gets to run around, guard no one and shoot lefty hooks in 80 degree weather instead of playing for UNC II.

Here's the big question: Why the hell does MJ even want to be a GM? Wouldn't he rather spend his time golfing, smoking cigars and grinding on his son's friends? I just don't get why a guy who has every conceivable luxury at his fingertips would spend his time trying to understand the salary cap and putting together a draft board, especially when he's terrible at it. If he likes the NBA that much, why not just crash "Inside the NBA" for weeks at a time? Him and Charles would be money.

Some other loose ends...

--Do you think Jerry Krause was sitting back at the office, getting phone calls after every pick, sweating it out every time the phone rang (not because he was nervous, just because I bet he sweats a lot) and then being thrilled his man fell to No. 9? Then he flicks on ESPN just to see him shake hands with The Commish and is greeted by this:

How fast do you think he wanted to throw up? Instantly? Has any team ever had a faster case of buyer's remorse? I mean, good God, just look at Noah there. He seems like the kind of guy who does shit he thinks is hilarious but is willfully ignorant to the fact that everyone is laughing at him and not with him. Like, all the time. What a jackass. How fast til Stern has him killed?

All that aside...what is the point of that pick from Chicago? They needed another limited who can't score on that roster? They drafted him so they could trade a guy they just signed last year? Which Paxson is running the Bulls again?

--When Jay Bilas was talking about Big Baby's weight problem, he said he was, and I'm paraphrasing here, a "weight loser, but had trouble keeping it off. He's much like Oprah in that regard." How long do you think he was waiting to say that? He had to be positively agonizing while watching him drop to the second round. It was pretty funny, though - not nearly as funny as Mike Tirico made it out to be; seriously, Mike, calm down - but it was funny. Good one, Duke Boy.

--I am glad that Rod Thorn wasn't deterred by Sean Williams' minor indiscretion of getting kicked off his college team (to be honest, if I had to play with Jared Dudley, I would have been hittin' the pipe pretty hard, too). So, Rod, why exactly did you take Mr. Williams? "He's a player who had over 1200 on his college boards, so he's a guy who has a brain." Apparently, that's all it takes to get drafted by the Nets.

-- I love how Yi Jianlian is pulling a Steve Francis here, but since he isn't actually Steve Francis, no one is really making that big of a deal out of it. Yi is being a complete prima donna here and he actually has an entire government backing him up. Imagine if the US Senate was all for Steve Francis getting the hell out of Vancouver back in the day? Seriously, this tops all prima donna behavior before it - this is more extreme than Bryant or Elway or Drew. No one else has an entire government backing them.

And they don't even have a good reason, like, I don't know, he wants more playing time or he wants more money. He thinks he can't get marketed properly! How is this not prima donna material? Yi is the poster child with everything that is wrong with professional sports today.

-- The Blazers and the Suns seem to have different draft strategies, don't they? The Blazers will draft freaking anybody, they'll trade for your picks, they'll buy it off you...seriously, do you have a pick? The Blazers want it.

The Suns, on the other hand, hate the draft. Hey, Stern, if you're reading this, don't even give PHX a pick next year because they want nothing to do with it. They've sold a pick now four years running. So they are firmly entrenched in "win now" mode, right? So why the hell don't they trade for KG? All this three-way crap...why not cut to the chase and swap KG for Amare, straight up, win the next two titles, and then go back to actually drafting people, like everyone else?

The NBA Draft is Tonight: Honk Honk!

2007-06-28T15:57:00.001-04:00

Some things I want to see during tonight's NBA Draft, aside from gaudy suits, mother's weeping uncontrollably, and guys who have posses with more members than the franchise that just drafted them...

I want to see Kevin Durant go No. 1 overall, for a few reasons:

First, I can't think of anyone covering the draft for ESPN - all 20 of 'em - who wouldn't have a complete and utter breakdown live on TV. It would be akin to airing the apocalypse live, I think. You could be watching the draft on mute, and Stephen A. Smith would still find a way to shatter your speakers. This, it goes without saying, is something I would be interested in viewing (while munching on some Cheese Doodles, of course).

Second, it's the right pick, I'm pretty sure. I just think Durant is the best player in the draft, regardless of position. (and Hollinger is backing me up. I have no friggin' idea how he arrived at his conclusion, but 870.7 is really, really high. That article deserves its own post because of how phenomenal and ground-breaking it is; I don't think it is a stretch to say it could revolutionize the way NBA teams go about drafting.) I know centers are inherently more valuable, but aren't you supposed to take the best player? If you are, that's Durant.

The thing that seals the deal: Do you ever, ever see Oden putting a team on his shoulders and winning a Finals game? Or even a playoff game? I just don't. On a good team, he is one hell of a piece...but I think, eventually, Durant can do what LeBron did and single-handedly win a game or a series by himself.

And besides, if he goes No. 1, he can finally get a nickname: "Honk Honk." Man, that sounds dumb as hell, but I just want to call him Honk Honk, if only for a week. Hey, it is better than KD.

And speaking of nicknames, can Mr. Oden just go by "Hermey" from now on? Please? Oden has said over and over again that he wants to be a dentist. I am familiar with no one that comes close to matching Greg's affinity for the art of oral hygiene. (And the fact that Greg has a more deep-seated desire to adjust the headgear of unfortunate teenagers than he does to dominate a basketball game seems to be a fairly strong indicator, at least to me, that Durant is the pick. But that's just me.)

So: Honk Honk No. 1, followed by Hermey at the two spot. Three-year olds everywhere rejoice.

I want to see the Hawks screw this up. The whole thing, the third pick and the 11th. I really don't know how they could do it - you could easily make solid cases for Horford or Conley at three, and 11 is pretty much gravy - there is going to be a good PG sitting there. I want them to take, like...Yi at 3 and then follow that up with Josh McRoberts at 11, just because they promised him they would for no good reason. I'd gladly give them a standing round of applause for that. (No matter who they take, though, they are going to look sweet. Or, at the very least, successful. Baby steps, ATL, baby steps.)

Just thinking: If you were Mike Conley, would you want any part of Atlanta? At all? Not only are you going to be compared to Chris Paul, Deron Williams, Raymond Felton, hell, even Brandon Roy for the rest of your life, but you are going to be expected to resurrect a franchise that is the poster child for NBA contraction. If I am Mike Conley, I make it abundantly clear that I will be pulling a Stevie Franchise if the Hawks draft me.

I want Joakim Noah to either go to the Grizz at No. 4 - because, really, who cares - or to plummet like the NBA's version of Brady Quinn. My dream scenario is that he is the last guy in the green room, he makes a jackass of himself in the process (wearing an outfit that is particularly douche-bagish) and then is drafted by someone where he promptly fades into Bolivian...someone like Sacramento, a KG-less Minny or Memphis. I really, really just never want to hear from him again. Really, who hasn't had enough of Joakim Noah? The sooner he goes away, the better.

I'd like to see Brandan Wright end up on the Bobcats. Raymond Felton, Sean May and B Wright? In North Carolina? With MJ calling the shots (kinda)? Good God, they could snag Reyshawn Terry in Round 2, draft Wayne Ellington next year, hire Dean Smith to coach them. Then, halfway through some game late in the season, they can ditch their Bobcats threads for their old Tar Heel jerseys, a la the Ducks ditching their Team USA sweaters in favor of the classic Duck look. I really believe this could work.

(Unreal: I unwittingly stumble across another dentist: Wolf "The Dentist" Stansson. "Team USA's going down, that's where you're going!")

I want to see Stuart Scott interview Yi Jianlian. I want Yi to cut his interpreter off halfway through his response and ask Stu, in perfect English, "Why do you talk like that? Do you expect me to believe that is the way you talk around the house, with your wife or your kids? Everyone knows it is a big act and you are a complete phony. I don't even speak English and I can tell. It isn't funny or engaging; as a matter of fact, it is really grating and makes an already difficult interview that much harder. Now, if you have a legitimate question, just ask it like a normal person and I'd be happy to answer it, but if you insist on speaking to me like that, I have better things to do. Thank you."

I want Jared Dudley to end up on the Spurs. That'd be absolutely perfect.

I would like to see Coach Bill Fuller draft a girl and then demand that Sacramento change its court's dimensions to 10 feet by 15 feet.

I want to see who the Lakers draft. I am dying to see who they draft. I'd love to see them draft a couple of projects. Maybe take Daquean Cook in the first round (Isiah: "Get me Kupcheck on the line!") and then follow that up with Aaron Gray. That would delight me to no end. Maybe we could get a video from Kobe that is a whole minute long!

I want to see someone use a second round pick on Jared Jordan. Or maybe no one takes him, and the Cavs sign him. Yea, I'd like that better.

Finally, I would like to see an absurd trade. Just ridiculous, like the Hawks giving up both picks, Amare in Atlanta, KG in PHX, Kobe in Chicago, Gordon and Deng in LA....something kinda like this.

Live Blog: Cavs vs. Pistons, Eastern Conference Finals, Game 6

2007-06-02T20:38:00.000-04:00

Sorry, I'm a little late to the party...I'm guessing I missed the Cavs open the game by throwing the ball into Big Z and Z responding with his obligatory awkward missed hook shot. I'm glad Cleveland has no problem wasting its first possession of each game.

This game is going to be a letdown and I am completely fine with that. There is no way on earth to possibly even come close to the game 5. All I want out of this game is a win; the final score could be 3-2 and I would be more than thrilled. Game 5 made the entire playoffs completely worthwhile and nothing else that happens from here on out can taint it.

All I want is a win, and I really don't care if it comes tonight or in Game 7, although it would be much, much better if it came tonight.

The rest of the live blog will be, as always, after the jump.

First Quarter

From what I can tell, the Pistons got off to a quick start but the Cavs D has gotten them back into it somewhat. LeBron is still without a field goal attempt.

I don't think the Cavs have gotten a stop since I turned in the TV. Cripes, fellas. At least they are scoring at the other end - Larry Hughes already has a pair of threes, and Sasha is being aggressive. Z, of course, has a tip in, two missed hook shots and 97 dribbles taken. 15-14 Cleveland in the early going.

Rip drills a three...he is so good at his midrange game I am always stunned when he hits a three. I feel like he isn't strong enough to get it there or something.

Billups hits a three to push the lead to 4....the pace of this gme is out of control. Compared to the first 5 games, this is Suns/Warriors on HGH. Back after the break.

Sasha off to a quick start. I was one game early on that "Sasha will do awesome" prediction.

Christopher Webber picks up a technical for...I am nut entirely sure. I think he was yelling at someone on the Cavs. Make that a double tech; the refs hit Sasha with one, too. Oh! Webber just two hand shoved Andy (I have no idea how to type "Varejao" with any type of consistency, so it is Andy from here on out.) in the chest. What a duchebag (I also do not know how to spell that). LeBron hits the free throw to tie it at 19.

matt said...

There ya are.

The Cavs are playing a little too much show time no look crap for the crowd. Dudes- just play your ugly ass usual style b-ball. That's what got you here.

No joke. The pace of this game is weird; I have no idea where it came from. It'll settle down eventually...I think both teams are just ramped up; Detroit is playing for their lives and Cleveland is a game away from the Finals. Hard to blame either of them, really. Cavs up one as we head to commercial. Just over two minutes left.

LeBron with his FIFTH assist so far; he finds Andy cutting down the middle. 22-21, Cavs.

The Pistons spring a quick trap on Hughes and he is completely baffled by it. Jump ball. Bobbie is in the game, just let him bring it up instead of Mr. Casual. Honestly, if Larry Hughes raced Chauncey Billups...would that be the least exciting thing ever? Both those guys show about as much enthusiasm as

Oh, Andy with a nice finish and draws a second foul on Webber. Nazr Mohammed checks in and has his shot imeediately blocked; guess he is a little rusty since he's only played four minutes the entire post season. Next possession for the Pistons: Del Fino picks up the offensive foul. Man, Flip...Mohommed AND Delfino? I guess he is just saying "Screw it, it doesn't matter who we play, this game is getting decide in the fourth."

Mohammed fouls Boobie on a three with 2.2 second left. Man, Nazr is screwing up. I like when he's in. Boobie makes 2 of 3 and the Cavs end the first up, 27-21. 27! Good God, Cleveland, you are an offensive juggernaut.

Second Quarter

LeBron seemed oddly fired up that quarter...not screaming and stuff, but his passes had a little extra flair, making them no looks, jump passes....not that I am complaining; you might never hear my criticize the man ever again. I have become oddly defensive of LeBron after his game 5 performance, especially in response to any idiot who says "Well, hey, that's what happens when he plays hard!" Bullshit. He could play that hard for his entire career - hell, anyone could - and never see a performance like that. That was other wordly. Even things I bashed him for - like not playing hard or always seeming interested - I can't criticize him for anymore. I just can't. I'm too in awe.

The buzzer is malfunctioning, so we are treated to Craig Sager with an airhorn. That sounds like a terrific name for a blog, doesn't it? "Craig Sager's Airhorn." I like it.

The Cavs and Pistons players are all just chilling on the scorer's table while LeBron munches on his nails. I don't mind the nailbiting habit that much, but how the hell does he have any nails left to chew? He does it every single game...he had to have finished with the fingernail ages ago, I'm sure by now he is down to the skin and I wouldn't be stunned if he was gnawing on bone by this point. Maybe his nails regenerate faster than everyone else's though, like John Lock's finger on Lost. That would make sense to me.

Marv asks if this feels like a rain delay. Point 23 says yes. Back when the quarter starts.

Steve Kerr is talking about LeBron's dominance, and I am paraphrasing: "You see him dominate and forget he is only 22..he makes you forget that he is doing it against some of the greatest athletes in the world." As he is saying this, the camera pans to Donyell Marshall and Chris Webber, shattering any believability that statement had.

This delay is taking forever, we are on our third commercial break. Who does the delay hurt more? Well, the Cavs were on some kind of a run, so any momentum they had was killed, so probably them. But here is my thinking: this break is at least as long as a halftime, so this is going to trick the Cavs into thinking the third quarter is about to start. So they will suck in the second, then play great in the third, which they think is the fourth, and play even better in the fourth, which they think is overtime.

They are scrambling all over the place looking for clocks and horns and stuff...why the hell don't they have backup equipment like, under the scorer's table? I think they've settled on shot clocks in the corner, three different people have stop watches for time, and someone gets an airhorn for the buzzer. Good God, I have come up with better schemes in the driveway when I was 11.

Marv: "Do you feel like you are watching a Peter Sellers movie?" I have no idea who that is. Anyone?

The PA guy is counting down the shot clock in some deep, disembodied voice from the future. Whenever he says 10 seconds, everyone starts speeding up, like when the music stats going faster on Mario Brothers. Sleep Marshall seems OK with it, though: he sticks a three to push the lead to nine, 30-21.

Sheed hits a bucket at the same time as a defensive three seconds, and if they happen at the same time, you count he bucket. I did not know that.

Hunter picks up the foul as LeBron drives, who is about the fifth different Piston to guard him. Why not just pick two and have BOTH of them guard him? One doesn't seem to work to good, does it Flip?

LeBron picks off a pass and gets out in transition...Sheed AND Hunter foul him, but somehow the refs call neither.

This game has such a weird feel to it, with The Voice counting down and no clocks on...it feels like an open gym or something, but really, it is the most important game of the NBA season.

Andy steals a pass in the paint, ignores LeBron who is begging for a outlet pass, goes coast to coast - going behind the back at half court, mind you - and then, and you are not going to believe this, he throws up the ugliest layup of the Second Season which, shockingly, misses badly. Surprising; ee usually pulls that one off. Cavs up 4.

Sheed hits a jumper and is fouled. He has nine points already and is playing really well. Damnit.

Oh, Good God, I can't breathe. Boobie goes flying into the paint, makes the bucket and is fouled, but he is laying on the ground, writing in pain.

Oh, OK, he's fine...he's just a little dramatic. I can live with that as long as it leads to three-point plays.

Gibson fouls Rip in the act of shooting. That is like the fourth time that has happened already and Gibson gives opponents, on average 2.1 three point play attempts per game in games in which he plays at least 12 minutes*. That isn't good, Boobie.

*I made that statistic up.

I'm gonna agree with Doug Collins here: LeBron has been out a while, and considering he slept in until 2 pm yesterday and there was a half hour delay already this game, does he really need the rest? The Pistons have it within 2 and the Cavs offense look atrociously disjointed.

Bron checks back in as we go to commercial.

Sheed is killing it. He follows up his own airball with a dunk in which he did his best to rip the rim off. He is keeping the Pistons in this game.

Rip spends the entire time LeBron is at the line bitching to Eddie Rush, who then waits about 4 seconds before calling a bullshit foul on Boobie in favor of Rip. That is bullshit. Either way, Rip makes both. Pistons down two, 41-39.

Rip scores over Gibson again. He has 16, but a quite cuz I didn't even think he was in double figures yet. Game tied at 41 as my man Boobie gimps off the court. Just under 4 minutes left.

LeBron grabs a defensive board, works his way up court, and then explodes to the rim. I love when he does that. He knocks down both freebies. He has only shot twice and all his points are from the FT line.

Pistons up one with just under two minutes left; a patented Chauncey Billups "turnover-bad shot-turnover" would be really nice right now.

Oh, man. LeBron comes over from the week side and rejects Rip's shot with his elbow. Damn, Rip. Rip then commits a stupid foul, his third of the game. I'm calling it now: he is gonna get throw outta this game. He already has one tech and he is bitching non-stop. If the Cavs go on some kind of a run, he's gonna snap.

Tied at 48 at the end of the first half. That first half blog was a disjointed as the first half; the game just had a really goofy feeling to it. I don't know if it was because the teams were a little out of it, playing different styles, or because there are no clocks and God is counting down the shot clock...it's just weird. We'll try better in the second half.

Third Quarter

Alright, we've said it every game so far: let's see what the Cavs do in the third quarter. I'm hopeful.

Z misses to start the half. Ha. You can only laugh at that. It works like one outta twenty times.

Hey! The clocks are working! Apparently, LeBron was pretty pissed they weren't working. Uh oh, Detroit. Bron Bron is angry. Gooden knocks down that baseline J: Good sign. Billups answers with a step back J: bad sign.

Rip scores in transition, but he is bitching again...he's been a pretty big punk right now.

Sasha musta got jacked in the side of the head, because he is holding his ear and silently screaming. Mike Brown tells him to suck it up and leaves him in. Sasha responds by driving into three guys and committing an offensive foul. Some good did come of it, though: he kneed Webber in the nuts and he is on the ground holding his balls. I was not aware he had any.

How strong is LeBron? He drives and has Prince hanging all over him, but still manages to score. Prince has to weight, what, 190, 200 ounces? What a beast.

Offensive foul on Webber, who heads right to the locker room to get the sand out of his (expletive deleted). Is there medical treatment for that? Like, besides crying?

You know how Varejao is awesome at drawing charges? Like he gets one, two, sometimes three a game? Sasha is the exact opposite. Once he starts moving, he refuses to stop no matter what gets in his way, even Chris Webber's nuts. He just got his second offensive foul in the last two minutes.

How the hell does Z get so many offensive rebounds? I get that he's huge and all, but he can't jump OR move...just get in front of him and it is all yours. Either way, Cleveland takes the lead, 58-56.

LeBron misses a pull up three...which if he would have made would have blown the roof off the Q. They are cheering consistently, you can hear some noise...but they are dying for a reason to lose their minds. Bron almost gave it to them.

My little comment notifier just started working again; let's catch up on some comments...

#4 said...

i love bron because he isnt forcing anything right now....most players coming off of a tremendous game might force some bad shots, unnecessary shots....but he has the intelligence that they are playing fine without him needing to do that....at the same time, if it comes to it, he will take over...hes doing what he needs win and not trying to be the next MJ...i respect the shit outta that.....

He used to get hammered for that, but as soon as they win this series, every basketball mind in the world will praise the hell outta him for "playing the right way." I love it.

matt said...

Allright #4! WOOOO!

Weird 2nd Q, the clock delay made it like a third Q for the Cavs. That sucks. BUT- tied without LBJ even trying yet. That's gotta be a good sign.

As a fan I really hat this clock thing- it must be bizarre as hell for the players. It has even taken the crowd out. They NEED to fix this.

LBJ is about to go off now that all the clocks are fixed. Just you watch.

Drew Gooden with a ludacris hook shot...his elbow wasn't even bent. And, of course, it was on the baseline. How ya like me know, Nick Collison?

Man, the Pistons are killing the Cavs on the offensive glass. They are getting two and three chances each possession, but it doesn't really matter because they are playing Lindsey Hunter and Dale Davis, who, as you know, suck at shooting.

Boobie! My man drills a three from the corner. Cavs take the lead, 65-63.

Boobie realy has a sense of the moment, doesn't he? Throw out the 21-point performance, and just concentrate on WHEN he was scoring...they might not have been buzzer beaters, but most of his threes come at really, really ideal times for Cleveland. Love it.

Varejao just shot a three from the corner. You read that correctly. The shot clock wasn't even at 0. What the hell. It would be better if he just threw it out of bounds, at least that way the Cavs could set up their D. What the hell.

Damon Jones misses a three at the buzzer..be nice if he made one of those every once in a while. Cavs up a point as we start the fourth. Sweaty palms start...now.

Fourth Quarter

I love Boobie. He just splashed a three with a hand in his face, no hesitation. Dude has some cajones. His mentality is friggin' perfect. Cavs up.

Lindsey Hunter and Flip Murray currently in Detroit's back court. Advantage: Cleveland.

Boobie with another three! Are you kidding me? We'll leave this one to Boobie's Moms...

Mrs. Gibson said...

booooooooooooooooooooooooobbb-
bbbiiiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!

Yezzir.

If there was ever any doubt, LeBron James officially owns Cleveland. He comes out of nowhere for a steal, goes the length of the court and then lays it in with Lindsey Hunter hanging all over them. He capped it off by popping off the ground and pointing to the crowd with both hands as the place exploded. Never mind how dumb Lindsey Hunter is - seriously, he had no chance of stopping LeBron there - how great was the reaction? Perfect.

Boobie again for three! I can't even believe I am seeing this. What a fuckin stud. The Q is losing its damn mind. Cavs up 12!

Hamilton gets his fourth foul, reaching in on LeBron...they gotta get him off him, he isn't even that good off a defender and he is their only consistent scoring threat at the moment. You know what? Leave Rip on LeBron. Good call.

If LeBron scores here, this place is gonna explode. I mean, Boobie just drew a blocking call on Prince - who is sucking hard core, by the way - and the place lost it. If King James does something, the roof will blow off.

>blockquote>#4 said...

if you were an nba player wouildnt you celebrate with the crowd like that on a regular basis?
Oh, I would live for the fans. My go-to move would be the Iverson hand-to-the-ear, I-can't-hear-you, but I'd also point like a maniac, and if I hit a three in the corner, I'd slap five with the entire front row on my way back down the court. After big wins, I' be on the scorer's table like MJ, just screaming at the crowd.

Which is why LeBron's celebration was so perfect. He pointed to the entire city, and considering what that town as been through in its sporting history, that was no small gesture. He owns that city.

Oh, wow: Sheed gets called for an offensive foul on Varejao and then runs down the court screaming, somehow avoiding a T. I have no idea how, because even I hear him scream "That's fucking bullshit!"

Ah, there we go: Sheed gets called for another foul, fouls out, and then proceeds to lose his gah-damn mind. Didn't see that one coming.

Man, it took him forever to leave the court...he just flipped out. The entire Detroit bench was holding him back, he was yelling, pointing...he just lost it. It was awesome. Cavs up 83-69 with just under 8 to go.

Steve Kerr: "I think what you are seeing here is the end of an era." Well put, Mr. Kerr, well put.

Damon Jones misses ANOTHER three. Listen, I understand why he is in there, but with Boobie on fire and Sleepy Marshall out there, what's the point, really? He can't gaurd anyone...get Hughes out there

Boobie with his fifth three! There aren't enough exclamation points on my keyboard right now. What a freakin' stud.

matt said...

I don't know how I feel about this forever being known as "The Boobie Game".

Aww... fuck it. I'm good.

Oh, I can live with that. I am thrilled with that. The more help LeBron has, the better.

Hey, Damon Jones scored a layup! He looked really weird doing it, like he hadn't practiced one in a few years, which he probably hasn't. Cavs up 15. I really can't believe this.

Daniel Gibson - probably the smallest dude on the court - drops a tear drop over Tayshaun Prince. He has 31! This is unreal.

Flip Murray draws a foul on LeBron, his first. I can't believe Flip Murray is in with four minutes left. A Cleveland cast-off is getting crunch time minutes in the Eastern Conference Finals. Unreal.

Rip fouls out and is surprisingly subdued. If that woulda happened a few minutes ago, he probably woulda snapped, but he seems resigned to defeat, which is probably the right mind set.

This game is over. The Pistons have stopped trying to come back (I know this because Damon Jones got into the paint again, finding Andy for a wide open lay up). Cavs up 16 with two minutes left.

LeBron ices it with a fade away. Perfect.

I want to see LeBron run around with Boobie sitting on his shoulders.

LeBron launches the ball into the rafters, and this game is a wrap. Cleveland is going to the Finals, and there is no way I can possibly describe the emotion, so I'm not even going to try.

Cleveland is in the Finals.

Trying to Put LeBron's Game 5 Into Some Type of Context

2007-06-01T07:21:00.000-04:00

Words are not going to do it justice. The numbers, incredible as they are, do not do it justice. LeBron's Game 5 performance was just something you had to experience first hand. No secondary source could possibly come close to conveying what LeBron James did in Detroit last night.

It was that profound.

I am tripping all over myself trying to find the right superlatives to describe King James' domiance, and I suspect I am not the only one finding it damn near impossible to boil it down to one definitive phrase. It was that monumental.

One thing I won't say - and I pray to God no one else does, either - is "finally." Bron has been criticized - and I wholeheartedly include myself in this category - of not living up to his potential; in this series alone he's been hammered for everything from his decision making to the way he plays in the third quarter to his overall output.

But his Game 5 performance was more than anyone has a right to expect from any player, ever. Much, much more. In any scout or coach's most far-flung scenarios, in their wildest dreams, no player at any point in basketball history should have that type of effort expected of him.

That performance was not something you expect, let alone think possible. The only appropriate response is to marvel and talk about it in hushed, reverent tones.

LeBron exceeded every single-game expectation anyone in their right mind could possibly have set for him. He annihilated it.

Where it ranks in the pantheon of all-time great individual performances in the history of the NBA is up to much wiser people than me; I just haven't been around long enough to make a fair assessment.

The one statement I can make with absolute conviction, though, is this: What LeBron did last night was the greatest performance in the post-MJ era and the second-place finisher is so distant that it isn't worth mentioning.

25 straight points to end a game? 29 of the last 30? That is so good it is absurd. That is a different sport. And every basket was bigger than the one before it. If he wasn't taking the lead, then he was tying the game or he was cutting a deficit or he was pushing the lead to two possessions. Every single time LeBron scored, it was a must have bucket. His team needed him to do it on his own more times than is even fair and he delivered every single time.

The only game I can think of off the top of my head that I could compare it to would be the Lakers coming back from 15 down to knock off the Blazers in the Western Conference Finals. But I'll take this game over that one in a heart beat. I would much rather watch a game where it was back-and-forth with multiple lead changes and huge bucket after huge bucket - by both teams - than a game in which you could say one team just choked the game away. Throw in that performance for the ages, and its a walk.

It goes without saying that this is the defining moment, so far, of young LeBron's career (it really is hard sometimes to keep in mind that he is just 22 years old), but can you ever imagine him topping this? For that matter, can you imagine anyone topping this? I am sure his career will have accomplishments that mean more in the grand scheme of things - championships, MVPs - but as far as single games go, I can't even fathom what the man would have to do to top this.

LeBron's career still has miles to go. But if this game isn't leading of his Sports Century twenty years from now...well, I can't wait to see the game that tops it.

Have you ever seen a guy just take the ball like that and score every single time with no regard for his teammates or the other team? I haven't. Truly, I haven't.

Drew Gooden tried to say that he was"Video Game James" because only a player made out of pixels could possibly pull off what LeBron did Thursday night. But there is no way Drew - or anyone else for that matter - ever did anything that impressive even in a video game. Thoes types of shots? Step backs? Behind the back pull ups? Fade away threes over two defenders? On that stage, with that much pressure, getting that much help from his teammates? And throw in the clutch defensive plays, his effort on the glass and his seven assists and there is just no way. No way. LeBron James is better than a video game.

This was one of those games where you will always remember where you were when you were watching it. You were acutely aware you were watching history being made as you were watching. How many games can you say that about? I'm going to be honest: that's a first for me.

And if you didn't see it live, I am sorry, but TiVo or a tape-recording or even an ESPN Classic replay is not going to capture it. I'm not being a snob or a prick; this was that surreal to watch live. If you were unlucky enough to miss it, well...I really don't know what to tell you.

You missed out on the greatest basketball performance I have ever seen in my life.

Live Blog: Cavs vs. Pistons, Eastern Conference Finals, Game 5

2007-05-31T19:52:00.000-04:00

Some questions heading into tonight's game...

Can LeBron do it on the road? He was unreal in Cleveland, but his performances in Detroit have been lackluster. Something clicked, though, in Cleveland. I think we are in good hands.

Where is his help coming from? It is almost expected that Boobie Gibson is going to play well...who else will step up? I'm saying 17 from Sasha.

Will Chauncey play well? I think him and Rip are both going to have good games, but I think the Detroit bigs will struggle. I don't know why.

Was this one of the funniest things I've ever read? From Simmons basketball blog, but ironically, not from Simmons himself:

I thoroughly enjoyed this e-mail from Rob in Kailua, Hawaii: "I've been noticing that during the Detroit-Cleveland series Gooden and Rasheed get into arguments or little scuffles at least 2-3 times a game. Is there a history there? My theory is that Gooden's little patch of hair on his neck used to be the little patch of hair missing from Rasheed's head. Drew must have won some epic battle and now wears that patch as a medal of honor. That's the only logical explanation for such a ridiculous hairdo right?"

That is something I wish I had thought of; I'm jealous. I LOL'd on that one. I also like that epic battles that are rewarded with medals of honor are quite commonplace in Hawaii.

Alright, let's get to the game. As always, see you after the jump.

What a lucky break that the Eastern Conference Finals ends up on TNT. I hope this thing goes 7 for just that reason. Did ESPN outbid TNT for this? Was this a conscious decision on their part? Either way, it worked out; the Western Conference Finals was excruciating while the Eastern Conference finals have only been mildly antagonizing. Nice work, TNT.

Reggie in the booth, which is fine, I guess. But why does TNT need to screw with the Big 3?

TNT opens with "Go Getter" which is awesome because I am guessing whoever greenlighted that idea has no idea what "trap" means. (It means selling drugs, doesn't it?)

Cleveland opens by throwing the ball into Big Z, which they do every single damn time. And as pointed out astutely by Steve Kerr, it never works. Ever. This is like a running team opening up a game by giving it to its RB for a one yard loss even though the entire stadium knows it coming. Except the Cavs have no intention of ever, ever going to Z with any type of consistency.

Uh oh, Detroit: the Cavs post LeBron up and he hits a fallaway J over Prince. If LeBron is hitting jumpers, forget about it. Game ova.

#4 said...
i think the biggest x-factor in this game is Prince. If he plays well (the little things, steals, oboards, big shots during a run) the pistons team will play better as a whole, giving chauncey a chance to get out of his josh robinson v. the juniata eagles choke performance. however, in both piston wins, prince scored a combined 9 points. this is just a gut feeling...

go bron!

Prince's biggest contribution will come on the defensive end, making Bron Bron work. And Susquehanna sucks (full disclosure: #4 is a college teammate of mine...there may be an inside reference or two. Just so you know.) But yes, Go Bron!

Larry Hughes with back to back threes! Who the hell saw that coming? As long as the floor is being spread though, the Cavs are in business. Doesn't matter where it comes from.

The score is tied at 7, but I don't know how because a flood has been been declared and the National Weather Service saw fit to black out the game for a minute to let me know, yet there is not a drop of rain outside. Thank you for nothing, Weather Service.

Chauncey is killing it: hitting a three, getting to the rim, finding people. He killed it in the first half in Game 4, though. Let's see it in the second half, Mr Big Shot. 13-12, Detroit.

Pizza is here. Back after the break.

Detroit is up 19-14...what happened? I ran to get a pizza (there's a place 29 steps from my front door; I counted...not good, not good).

matt said...
I think Reggie is getting a lot better, sorta fitting in even. He was awkward as hell at first, but now he doesn't seem to mind getting laughed at so much. Or at least he hides it better.

Oh, yea: Reggie is good; I like him - he's not Magic, that's for sure. I just don't get why such a successful show has a "more the merrier" mentality. Those three are perfect. I wish they'd just let it be.

#4 said...
whenever a commentator says gravy twice in 10 seconds without any mention of Thanksgiving dinner, i am embarrased for him

Anytime Stu Scott talks, I am embarrassed for him. Yes, that was an unprovoked shot at Stu Scott. But more importantly: mmmmmm, gravy.

Bron drains a pull up in transition; love to see him hitting the J. Its only gonna make the drive that much more effective.

Chauncey comes off a ball screen and throws himself into the defender stepping out. That's a bullshit call. Flopping has become an epidemic in the NBA and that's one of the biggest areas where it has taken off. I freakin' hate that call.

Sleepy Marshall misses a three and Rip sneaks out in transition for an easy deuce. Second time he's done that. 24-19, just under three left in the first. Cavs need a little run.

Oh, he got that off! LeBron has a pretty baseline shot waved off because of an alleged shot clock violation. Very close. Mike Brown reacted thusly:

Hunter drives and finds McDyess...man, the Pistons are shredding the Cavs perimeter defense. Hunter follows up a nice play by blowing a transition layup. Thanks for evening that out, Linds.

Ah, Mike Brown musta read some Point 23. Chauncey is out, so he brings in Damon Jones who thanks his coach by drilling a corner three.

Oh! McDyess drills Varejao as he is going up for a lay up and Bron Bron flips out. He ran from sideline to sideline (actually hopping over Varajao, who was still laying prone on the floor; I love Bron's priorities: screw helping up my teammate laying on the floor, let's chest bump the guy who did it!) and tried to get to McDyess. Who knows if he was really gonna do anything, but still, LOVE the emotion. He got a tech for his troubles, but completely worth it. Anything that shows LeBron is fired up is a good thing.

Wow: the refs throw McDyess out. It was a tough hit, but jeez, an ejection? I dunno about that, but I'll take it. The good news: Weber will get more time. The bad news: so will Jason Maxiell.

Bron might be a little too fired up: he airballs a three and the crowd loves it.

I HATE the "DeeeeTROIT! Baaaas-ket-BAAAALL!" guy. Hate him. As far as I am concerned, he's an absolute asshole for starting that shit. He should be fined and/or beaten.

29-23 after a chippy first half. Back after the break. 'Preciate the comments; keep 'em coming.

What're your thoughts on this new Heineken mini-keg thing? What's in there, like a six pack? Is that really worth it? And what a freakin' scumbag that guy is for taking the dudes lil' keg and claiming its his own. I bet he's related to the "DeeeeTROIT! Baaaas-ket-BAAAALL!" Guy.

#4 said...
it's pathetic how you cann't foul hard anymore. it removes so much of a competitive spirit. rediculous!

It really is. Those kind of rules really tamper with the competive spirit of the game, I think. I mean, you can't drill someone like that, obviously, but if you do, you shouldn't get ejected. Hey, I'll take it though.

What do you think McDyess is doing right now? Hanging out with a ball boy? Do you think he'll ask everyone what is going on when they come in from halftime? Is he the only one in the locker room right now? Who would be in there with him when they could be out watching the game live? I wish I knew these things.

Hunter breezes by Damon Jones for 2. Can Damon Jones guard anyone? Name one player currently in the NBA you think Damon Jones could stop 3 times out of 10. And Mark Madsen would definitely score 5 times. At least.

Boobie has been awfully quiet. Last couple of games he has been aggressive as hell. It's not that he isn't scoring or whatever, he's not attacking. He's just another dude out there right now. That can't be the case, Boobie, flash a little bit of the Game 4 brilliance.

(You see what I did there? "Boobie" and "flash" in the same sentence. Ninth graders, please feel free to giggle.)

Webber tried something that I think was inspired by The Dream Shake, but it was incredibly uncoordinated and did not work at all. Stons up 8. I'm scared.

There's Boobie! Gibson comes off the pick and roll and actually attacks the rim, drawing a foul on Sheed.

We can all agree that Chris Weber is incredibly slow and disjointed right? Like when he moves, it looks painful and it makes YOU wince? Well, he just blew by Z. I mean, left Z in the dust. Not even close. Good God, Z, bend your knees or something.

Boobie finds Gooden for a short J and then Hughes comes up with a steal and finds Sasha in transition. Cavs cut it to 4. Phew. I was scared that was gonna go the other way.

Coach Gordan Bombay said...
in response to what mcdyess is doing in the locker room. one thing comes to mind....

Dean Portman after he was ejected . . . .

I love it. Mighty Ducks references will always win you points around here. Wonder if Flip Saunders threw a cardboard cut out of himself into a fire barrel before the game to motivate his team?

37-33 with just under 7 minutes to go...both teams have a shot to crack 50 in the first half. Probably won't happen, but jeez, after games 1-4, I feel like I am watching Suns/Warriors.

The Pistons are KILLING the Cavs in transition. Might be time to sit Z down for a breather. Or maybe get LeBron back in, he's only been out the entire second quarter.

And the "I bash them and they do something good" trend continues: Bron feeds Z who now has a chance for a three point play, which he converts.

Actually, I take that back; leave Z in. Detroit is depleted inside with Dean Portman ejected. Even if the Cavs give up some points in transition, let's wear them down on the inside. No one is winning this game in the first half; let's win it through attrition. I am glad I just talked myself into that strategy.

I can't believe this is a four point game. How does Detroit not come out fired up and try to bury Cleveland early? Play with a little more spark? What the hell are these guys thinking? I'd love to get inside their collective mindset. Ilgauskus has scored 7 in a row, by the way, further proof that I have no idea what the hell I'm talking about.

Cavs within 2, but Gooden picks up a cheap third foul. Can someone hold him down and shave that damn hair patch off the back of his head? I can't stand that thing. What do you think the barber's reaction was when he told him that's what he wanted?

Wow. Maxiell tried to tip dunk a missed Billups' three...he caught it in mid-air, but then as he went to dunk it, it went flying outta his hand. Kinda like in NBA Jam (Tournament Edition, of course) when your guy goes to dunk, but gets stripped before he takes off and then you have to watch your guy fly through the air without the ball. Good thing he missed, though, cuz The Palace would have gotten really loud and made it hard for the Cavs to concentrate.

Bron drives by four Pistons, scores and gets fouled to pull the game within a point. Honestly, four guys touched him. Oh, and then he finds Varejao with a pretty pass in transition. Cavs up one, 47-46. The Cavs are an offensive juggernaut.

Sager brings us back from commercial by explaining how the Cavs are going to try to not suck this third quarter. There are two guys in this tiny room on a computer, putting together a film or something that the Cavs will then use at halftime to ensure they do not suck in the third quarter, and Sager busts in on them, live. The two guys were supposed to be "working furiously," according to Sager, but I swear I saw the guys Buddy List up on the side of his computer. Those two weren't doing shit. No wonder the Cavs blow coming out of halftime. Those two guys are in a chat room! Anyone else see that?

Uh oh. Billups is starting to post up Boobie. He elevates over him, no sweat. Boobie really can't guard anyone in the post. Detroit is the first to fitty, 50-49. Seems to have motivated Boobie a little bit, though, he drives by Billups and draws a foul.

Marv informs us that Daniel Gibson is called "Boobie" because his mom thought he was too soft as a kid. Jeez, mom, what'd you call your other kids, Vag?

I was typing so I didn't see, and I am probably hallucinating, but I think Scott Pollard was just in. Can anyone confirm that?

Bron misses a tough shot in the lane to end the half. But the fact that Cleveland is only down one is stunning, at least to me, all things considered. As long as they don't turn in their usual third-quarter performance (C'mon Jimmy and Jason! Get off AIM and do something! We're all counting on you!) they should be OK.

Oh, Webber says "hopefully the Cavs will quit floppin'." Thems is fightin' words! I love how Webber is now the picture of toughness, like he is so above that. Shut the hell up, Webber. And why didn't Sags follow up on that? Isn't that what he is there for? To ask annoyingly long questions?

Back after halftime. I'm gonna IM Jimmy and and Jason and see what the second half game plan is.

Second half about to get underway. I am not remotely nervous. I am 100% confident the Cavs are going to win and I have no idea why. I have never had this feeling, ever, watching the Cavs play. I do not consider this a good thing at all.

Hey #4: Who plays worse coming out of halftime, the Cavs or our alma mater, circa 05-06?

If Bron attacks the way he did last third quarter, things will be fine. The ball just wouldn't drop for him. Ideally, I'd love to see him and Boobie get out in transition once or twice, get moving to get things started.

Or a Chauncey Billups three without passing. Either/or.

Gooden with a nice follow of a LeBron missed J keeps it within 3. I'll take it. The Cavs don't have to play awesome in the third, they just gotta keep it close.

Prince drills a wide open three to push it to an 8 point lead. Son of a bitch.

Tapping out rebounds has really reached new proportions. Gooden could have easily grabbed that last rebound, but instead he tried to tap it out, screwed it up, the Pistons got it instead and Prince drains a momentum three. Hey, if you can't get to a ball, by all means, tip it with one hand, give your squad another crack at it. But if you can grab it, you should probably just grab the damn ball.

Chris Paul in attendance...what's the connection there? Is he from Detroit? If not, who's he there to see play? And unless the game is in LA or NY, quit panning for celebs. It's sad, really. Kid Rock does not count.

Z draws a foul on Webber. This is like watching an oak tree post up a telephone pole. Good God, fellas.

The Cavs just submitted the ugliest possession of the playoffs. It involved someone dribbling of their foot (probably Hughes), Hughes pivoting nineteen times to find someone to pass to, big Z falling over and then Sasha, who is not helping me on my pregame pick, jacking a three from the right side in which his chest was facing the opposite basket. As head coach, Mike Brown's official response was to make a face like he was going to puke. Oh, wait, he always makes that face.

Man, there is just a lid on the rim for LeBron in the third. He does draw a fourth foul on Webber, though. Hey, he made a free throw! Make that two! LeBron can score in the third. I had no idea.

Rip drives and draws a foul on Z, pushes the lead to 65-58. Cavs can't let it get any higher than that.

Pavlovic drills a three. It really is uncanny: I say someone sucks, they step up.

Ah! Hughes misses LeBron by a half-second on an oop. Man, he threw that shit pretty hard off the backboard. Kerr sums it up nicely: "You can play a guy at point guard, doesn't mean he is one." I concur. Where's Boobie? I wish Flip would play Lindsey Hunter so we can put in our good offensive players who can't guard a soul.

Z picks up his fourth foul on a bullshit illegal screen call and heads to the bench. Least the Cavs can run now.

Gooden picks up an illegal D call...he looked like a catcher caught in a run down between second and third. Just make up your mind.

LeBron catches the ball on the wing, stares down the D for more then a few seconds, dribbles roughly 13 times and then scores on Prince when Detroit decides they'd rather not double team, even though Bronny was begging them to. Bron ties it on the next play at 65, finding Varejao cutting down the middle. This third quarter doesn't suck! I couldn't be more excited.

Sweet Jeebus, Tayshaun. Dude drives from the left side, went baseline, reversed it, stretched his arms out to 11 feet, and hammered it. Varejao was good enough to answer by throwing his layup attempt off the bottom of the rim. He's clutch like that. Or, as Steve Kerr would say, "unskilled." Yep. 70-65, (kinda) Bad Boys.

Boobie! God, I fuckin' love him. He drills a three to end the quarter and ties it up at 70 to end the third.

I am now officially nervous all hell.

matt said...
Okay, I haven't been reading along, but I'm sure you've noted that this 3rd isn't awful. And Danny G has the snake eyes and cold smile of a born killer. Love that guy.

Boobie really does have a great disposition, doesn't he? He has that little half-smile with his tongue kinda stickin' out...He looks like he is havin' a grand time riping your heart out. I love it.

Prince fouls Hughes on a three. Why was Larry shooting, you may be wondering? Because LeBron is on the bench, which raises the obvious question, WHY THE FUCK IS LEBRON ON THE BENCH IN THE FOURTH QUARTER!?!?! Larry misses two freebies outta three. Of course he does. Cavs up, 73-70.

Seriously, we're almost under 10. Why is LeBron not in? I can't wait to hear Mike Brown defend this with a half hour anwer after the game.

Gibson banks home a tough shot, and I couldn't agree more with

Mrs. Gibson said...
BOOOOOOOOOOOOBBBBBB- BBBBIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!

Well put, moms, well put.

Hell is watching Chris Webber play Ilgauskus one on one. I want to gouge my eyes out with a spoon. Cleveland up one, 75-74.

Hey, it took Mike Brown until the 8:34 mark, but LeBron checks back in. Mike Brown is playing this game like a chess match.

Z scores to push the Cavs lead to 3. Oh, and when I said "chess" earlier," I meant "checkers." My bad, my bad.

Back-to-back buckets from Z after Varejao sets a pick for Ilgauskus. They Cavs should sign some more guys with harder names to type.

LeBron alters Rip's shot at one end, grabs the rebounds, methodically works his way to the top of they key and sticks a J. I'm a fan. Cavs up 3, 81-78.

Sheed stuffed LeBron. Did not see that one coming at all. I really don't know how that could ever happen, I mean LeBron is so strong and everythi - oh, it was because Sheed just grabbed his left hand and didn't come anywhere near the ball. I see.

But it got the crowd into it, and Detroit is a little fired up, and Rip hits two FTs to take a one-point lead. Sweaty palms.

Rip just absolutely lost Boobie coming off a couple of screens and then passes to Sheed, who draws the foul. Man, Boobie had no freakin' idea where Rip was. Completely turned him around. Rip must practice that. Sheed knocks down 2; Pistons up 3. Need a bucket here, fellas.

No dice. Boobie misses a three and Rip nails a J at the other end. Cavs down 5. I have a sick, sick feeling right now. 3:47 left.

Son of a bitch. Sasha gets trapped and just throws the ball into the air. Gibson picks up his fifth because he can't guard anyone in the post. Man, you can just feel this one slipping away. Rip makes it a three possession game, 88-81.

I love how now all the Pistons are standing and clapping, once they think they are gonna win. They really are too cool for school.

Oh, Bron. Blows by Rip, draws the foul and scored. Can he make it a three-point play? No, but Sasha semi-redeems himself by grabbing an offensive board. Gooden will be at the line for two with a chance to cut it to three after this word from your local sponsor.

I would like to see a stat that shows the percentage of the time that players actually complete the three-point play. I feel like LeBron would rank remarkably low on this list, even though he probably leads the league in attempts. He misses that "and one" free throw all the time.

Eric Snow checking into the game. Gooden misses the first, makes the second.

Bron sticks a three. Cavs within one. Billups turns it over, LeBron snags it and Sheed has to foul him to prevent an easy dunk. Those are the two most common things in this series: Chauncey committing a turnover and LeBron doing clutch shit. (Did I say LeBron and clutch? He just missed both freebies. Daaaagger.)

Ah, blown chances. Gooden misses a five footer for the lead. Pistons ball, up 1, 54 seconds left. I'm gonna go puke.

nick collison said...
i told you i was better than drew gooden

Let's not get crazy here, Nick.

Varajao strips Sheed out of bounds and the refs award the Cavs the ball for no reason at all. Sheed actually has a right now flip out this time.

Oh my Lord. LeBron just annihilated the rim, but Chauncey sticks a dagger three to put the Pistons up 2. Oh, Mr. Big Shot.

My hands are shaking, I can't feel my legs, and I'm going cross eyed.

Wonder if Marshall will be in the game? I'm curious to see if the Cavs go big or small here?

I don't even know, but LeBron just blew by Prince like he wasn't there and dunks it. How can you get to the rim that easily this late in a game?

9.5 ticks left. I am shaking uncontrollably; I can barely type.

Billups misses a three to end the game! OT! He walks off with that shitty smile on his face, though, so I guess he's fine with it. Hey, as long as it don't bother him, don't bother me none. Snow gave him all kinda room, though. You knew he was pulling up there, too. Good things Chauncey kinda lost it there. My hands won't stop shaking.

Normally I'd say the home team is favored in OT, especially in the playoffs, but I think the Cavs have a slight advantage here, mainly because no one is coming close to stopping Bron.

#4 said...
i'm freaking out

You ain't the only one. I need one of Rip Hamiltons Nasal Oxygen Providers; I can barely breathe. My hands are still shaking.

Winner of the next 5 minutes wins this series? Fair statement?

Cavs control the tip and LeBron goes right to work. Refs hit Tayshaun with a foul and he is freaking out about it, and he might have a case, but the ball went right back to Bron and he woulda scored anyways. As it is, he hits both and the Cavs are up 2 and I am still freaking out.

Wonder if the Pistons will go zone here since LeBron is getting to the rim at will. Looks like it. What a huge play. Pavlovic gets called for an offensive foul; coulda been Webber's sixth. It was the right call, though. Damnit.

matt said...

OT!

Eric Snow is A-OK, man.

I'm gonna have a heart attack

Get in line; I'm next. And Snow has come up with some huge defensive plays in the last two games, especially late in games. Well, that's the only time he plays, but still. He's like a defensive Robert Horry.

LeBron has like 75 dunks in the last three minutes. He gets another one to tie it at 75. The rim is petrified of Bron Bron at this point.

Gooden fouls out and Varajao has to play. In this shoot-out, I don't like it. Sheed makes one, Detroit up 1 with 3 to go.

LeBron gets to the rim AGAIN. The Pistons D is useless right now; Sheed is forced to foul. Bron copies Sheed's strategy and only makes one of two. Tie game.

Wallace misses, Chris Webber of all people somehow ends up with a long rebound, and Wallace misses again. James misses at the other end, mainly because, as Kerr points out, they don't have to guard Snow OR Varejao.

Cavs get another stop, call timeout. Tie game, 1:37 left. I am seeing three TVs right now.

chris webber said...

i told you i dont flop, im not a hypocrit, i swear

I still hate you.

See Damon Jones flipping out on the Cav bench? That's me, except not even close.

Oh, Detroit is gonna be pissed. Looked like Bron pushed off Chauncey to get the ball, then may have gotten bailed out on the drive. The King gets up gingerly, too. Well, Billups flopped...but James may have gotten a star call on the drive. Looked like he tripped of his own accord. Regardless, he makes both. Cavs +2, 1:15 left.

LeBron forces Tayshaun into throwing the ball into the back court. Tay was trying to body him up, but he may as well have been shouldering a brick wall; that was one of the more futile things I have ever seen, Tayshaun trying to bang with LeBron. Really, Tayshaun? Seriously?

Man, what a fuckin' shot, LeBron. Off balance, fading, over two guys. Cavs up 4. Bron smiles as he runs back own court. Man...what a fuckin' shot. I wish I could provide better analysis than that, but...Man, what a fuckin' shot.

Marv informs us that Bron has Cleveland's last 16 points. Good God. Detroit is doing everything in its power to stop him - he is routinely scoring on three or four guys - and they just can't.

Sheed makes two free throws. 30 ticks left. Will the Pistons foul here? Probably not, but I think I'd rather have LeBron shooting two at the line than hanging from the rim, which is where he has spent the entire overtime period.

Coach Mike burns Cleveland's final time out. I agree with the TNT crew: bad use of a time out there. What, is Mike Brown drawing up a play? Just get it to LeBron and get the hell out of the way. Seems to be working so far.

Oh my. LeBron with an airball. Did not see that coming. Gotta do it on the defensive end here, fellas. Good thing you called that time out, Mike.

6.6 seconds. Crowd Billups here. DO NOT let him pull up for three. Atta boy, Eric. Snow fouls Billups on the drive; he'll go to the line for two. If this goes to two OTs, I will not make it. My heart just isn't that strong. Hell, Secretariat's heart isn't that strong.

Billups makes the first. 100-99.

Makes the second. Damn.

Coulda used that TO, eh, Coach Brown?

Either way, double OT. I'm a dead man.

100-100. This is like a freakin movie.

Collins just referred to an old playoff game that the Pistons lost as "the Brian Scalibrine game." I'm pretty sure that is not what that game is called. Someone look that up.

LeBron with a step back to give him 41. This is unreal. This is MJ/Bird/Magic/Kobe level stuff. 102-100.

Ah man. Boobie just fouled out. Guess it is for the best since Snow is a better defender and the only person shooting is LeBron anyways.

What the hell just happened? Pavlovic inexplicably decides to force the issue, misses terribly - twice! - and the Pistons go to the other end and tie it. Pavlovic misses the next time down the court, too! What the hell, Sasha! That very well could be this game's turning point! What the hell was he doing?!?!

Rip scores over Damon Jones who is on the court for no good reason and Pavlovic misses again. 104-102, Pistons. Three possessions in a row, Sasha? You take the Pistons to cover?

LeBron with a huge steal to keep it close - the man is doing everything - but this end-game lineup really needs to be explained to me. I'm baffled.

Bron goes behind his back at the top of the key and sticks it to tie the game. This is ridiculous. Tie game. 1:35 left.

Webber hits a bullshit shot, gets a bullshit continuation call on Z, Z fouls out and Webber nods his head and curls his lips like he always does this. He is the biggest choke artist of my generation and he's nodding his head like this is routine for him. Go fuck yourself, Webber. I hate you.

Damon Jones is chatting up Webber while The Big Choke Artist waits at the line. I think Damon's asking him, "Hey, do you have any idea why the hell I'm in? Yea, me either." Webber hits it to put them up three.

James answers with a ludacris three. Comes off the pick and roll at the top off the key, somehow turns the corner - barely - then elevates over two guys from the wing and buries it. Kerr finally said it: "This is Jordanesque." Game tied at 107.

Varejao can't get a shot off from a foot in front of the rim; 24 second shot clock violation. Damnit.

29 seconds left, Pistons ball. Damon Jones is mercifully out of the game...Varejao rejects Sheed! Unreal. Timeout, Cleveland. 11.4 seconds left. Game tied at 107. I will not make it.

LeBron! I don't know what else to say...I'm...I'm just speechless...LeBron all the way to the rim. Cavs up 2. Pistons ball in the front court. 2.2 seconds left. Plese, oh please, guard the three point line...Mr Big Shot misses at the buzzer! Varajo got a tiny, tiny piece of Billups' runner, I think, may have altered it, but this thing is over. Unreal.

Bron is with Sager. He looks exhausted. He said that on his game-winner, he went a little earlier than he wanted to because he saw an opening. Smart man.

Sager: "Did you know you were this good?"

Bron: "No." Don't worry about it, Bron, no one did.

48 points, 51 minutes. Something like 29 of the final 30 points. Every single big shot imaginable.

This is one of those games where you always remember where you were.

I was kind of on the tail end of the Jordan era as far as really appreciating what he was doing as he was doing it, so I have no problem saying it: this is the greatest performance of my generation.

I am losing my mind right now and I am sure that I am forgetting some of the other great performances of the last few playoffs, but that is the best I can put this thing into context. Highlights won't do this game justice, full game replays won't, either. You had to be watching this thing live to fully appreciate it. Seeing this game live was surreal. I've never watched anything quite like it.

All I can do is shake my head and marvel at the dominance, skill - hell, the art of it.

I am going to try to put this thing into context tomorrow, but right now I am going to lie down before I actually do have a heart attack.

See you Saturday.

Guest Post: Everyone in Los Angeles Just Calm Down!

2007-05-30T22:33:00.000-04:00

So: Kobe wants to be traded. Didn't see that one coming.

Personally, I have no idea what to make of this. He seemed serious - the "No, bro" comment was probably the greatest thing he ever said - but then he backed off, like, 24 minutes later and said he'd chill if they fired the dude who blamed the whole Shaq fiasco on him (so...everyone?).

The big question is, What happens now? Do the Lakers trade the most unstoppable player alive? Do they trade everyone else? Do they even have a plan?

Maybe more importantly: what should the Lake Show do?

We haven't had a guest column around here in quite some time. In fact, as far as I can tell, this would be the first one since the first one. So I asked my boy, whom we'll refer to as The Commish (probably because he runs our fantasy football league with an iron fist; he even enacted a Personal Code of Conduct Policy, just like the real NFL), to step in and set the record straight and he graciously accepted.

No one I have ever talked to knows the Lakers better. Honestly, he got that NBA Ticket package just so he could stay up until 4 am watching the Lakers host the Hawks. That is credibility enough for me.

I asked him to simply give his take on just what KB24 might really be up to and what he'd like to see his squad do this off-season. His words are after the jump.

(While we are here: if anyone would ever like to write a guest post, just let me know. Doesn't matter if you have a blog or not. If there is something you'd like to write about and there are too many words in your head to relegate it to the comments section, just get ahold of me, and we'll set it up. Don't be shy.)

“Kobe Bryant demands to be traded from the Los Angeles Lakers” is what you will see scrolling across your screen today, but don’t let ESPN fool you with their headlines and reports. Look past the Stephen A. Smith interview and focus more on the Dan Patrick interview that took place after Kobe spoke with Smith (and Phil Jackson for that matter), and you will see how he backs off his demands and reveals what his real agenda is:

Agenda # 1: Win, and win now (make a significant trade and hire Jerry West).

Kobe realizes that he’s an old 28, having logged 9,000 more minutes than Michael Jordan did at the same point in his career. Everyone’s saying, “Why’s he making demands through the media?” Although it makes him look extremely selfish (he is), it also puts immense pressure on the Lakers front office to make a significant move this off-season, and ultimately, the pressure he’s applied is going to result in big trade this summer (not involving him) and Jerry West’s return.

Kobe took things to another level on Wednesday with his trade demands, a level that I’m completely stunned, embarrassed, and disappointed in as a loyal fan of his. He bluffed this afternoon, and he couldn’t even hold his bluff for one interview, let alone two hours.

Kobe knows he’s not being traded; it’s just not a realistic option with $88 million remaining on his contract, a no trade clause, and an additional $13 million hit on the team that he’s traded too for enacting the clause. L.A. is tinsel town, glamour and glitz, and a town full of stars where he shines brightest amongst them all. He’s a moneymaker, Jerry Buss is a businessman, and Lakers fans would not ever forgive Buss for trading away two of their favorite players of all time (Bryant, O’Neal).

Let’s say the Lakers would try to trade him; who would be the takers? There would be many, but wherever Bryant ended up, he would be in the same or a worse situation than he is now because the Lakers would require too much in return. It’s quite simple: Kobe Bryant is the most un-tradable player in the NBA.

Kobe’s message was sent loud and clear in the post-game interview at the conclusion of the Suns series, his exit interview in L.A., and remarks he made about Jerry West’s return through the media this past week. But enough is enough, he’s said what he wants, and now it’s time to give the Lakers front office an opportunity to make something happen.

Agenda # 2: Kobe Bryant hates losing, and he can’t stand not being the center of attention, especially around playoff time. The only thing I’m surprised about is that Jim Gray was not involved in this media parade by the Kobester. Kobe and Gray want to be like Ali and Cosell were back in the day, at least I once thought that. Expect a Kobe/Gray interview in the upcoming days.

But anyways, for a prime example of my point, let’s go back to a night in 2003 when the NBA was holding its annual draft. Remember, this was supposed to be Lebron and Carmelo’s night, but who stole the show? Kobe announced, through Grey, that he would opt of his contract after the 2003-04 season in order to test the free agent market.

Agenda # 3: Kobe wanted his name removed from orchestrating Shaquille O’Neal’s exit from L.A. He hates the fact that he’s associated with the one thing that people will not stop talking about, how he “forced” Shaq out, and he was clearly out to set the record straight with his remarks about how Buss told him Shaq would not be-resigned.

So what do the Lakers do now? We’ve already established the fact that Kobe’s going to return next season, but remember, he has a clause in his contract where he can opt of his two seasons from now. The Lakers don’t have two seasons to appease Kobe, they have one, because if things don’t go right starting right now, it’s going to get awfully ugly and a trade will be the Lakers only option.

Make the following moves and you’ll see a smile on the Kobester’s face (and he just might still be playing around this time next year instead of waking up at 4:30 am to workout):

Off-season move # 1: Bring back “The Logo” as a consultant.

Off-season move # 2: Re-sign Luke Walton, Ronnie Turiaf, and Chris Mihm.

Off-season move # 3: Release Smush Parker, and do not trade Lamar Odom.

Off-season move # 4: Sign a veteran point guard to a mid-level exception to compete with Jordan Farmar, or package Farmar in a trade to acquire a veteran point guard.

Before we get to the most important move of all, let’s make some trade rules:

1. Do not give up a plethora of young talent for a player like Jason Kidd. Kidd better not come to L.A, because if he does, the Lakers have made a huge mistake. Thorn insists that Bynum be included in the package and that’s something the Lakers should definitely not do when considering they’ll be getting a 34 year-old point guard in return with two or three years left in him.

2. As tempting as it might be, do not package Odom, Bynum, and a draft pick for Kevin Garnett.

And now for the grand daddy move of them all:

Off-season move # 5: Trade for Jermaine O’Neal. The Lakers could give the Pacers: Andrew Bynum, Kwame Brown (due $9.1 million next year, contract expires in 2008; a key piece in this trade but he could possibly undergo reconstructive ankle surgery, Lakers fans better hope not), a first round pick this year (19th overall), and whatever other filler is needed to match salaries (i.e. Cook $3.5 million over the next three years), FOR Jermaine O’Neal. I believe that’s a deal that puts the Lakers right back in the thick of things in the West.

The O’Neal trade scenario is far better than Kidd’s because you know your going to have O’Neal (28 years old) and Kobe (also 28) paired together for a number of years. Whereas with Kidd, it’s a two year plan (three at the most), and if it doesn’t work out right away, there’s going to be a ton of repercussions that’s going to result in a complete overhaul of the roster. If the Lakers give up Bynum, they must get an inside presence in return that’s going to be around for awhile. Think about it, three or four years from now Bynum’s going to be a really, really good player in this league; and if the Lakers trade him for Kidd and don’t win a championship, how bad of a deal is that going to turn out to be when Kidd is on the couch and Bynum is just entering his prime?

If the Lakers do trade for O’Neal, they’ll have a starting lineup that consists of Bryant, O’Neal, Farmar (or a veteran signee), Odom, and Walton (must re-sign him this off-season). They could then sign a veteran free agent point guard to the mid-level exception (5 years, 30 million) or trade for one this off-season, and all of the sudden they have a team that could not only win now, but for four of five years down the line.

Don’t be fooled by the panic attack the media wants to thrust on Laker fans. The pieces are somewhat in place on this team, but Kobe and Laker fans also need to realize this isn’t fantasy basketball; you can’t just trade for Garnett, trade for Ron Artest, and sign Chauncey Billups.

Sometimes all it takes is one simple move to turn a mediocre team into a team that could realistically contend for a title. Plug an All-Star like Jermaine O’Neal into this lineup with the best player in the league in Kobe Bryant, an all around player in Lamar Odom, a nice role player in Luke Walton, and an athletic point guard like Jordan Farmar or a veteran signee; and all of the sudden you’ve got a starting lineup that is talented, experienced, young, and ready to contend.

Live Blog: Cavs vs. Pistons, Eastern Conference Finals, Game 4

2007-05-29T19:54:00.000-04:00

LeBron's Game 3 performance was so good, it almost makes a live blog of Game 4 mandatory. Hoping for a sequel performance is probably wishful thinking, and hey, as the saying goes, the sequel is never as good as the original. But what about The Mighty Ducks? Those movies just kept getting better and better, and there was three of them. So why not LeBron and LeCavs?

(Of course, this analogy means that the Cavs can only win three of the required four games need to advance...so maybe a terrible analogy. Wouldn't be the first time.)

Regardless, Cleveland needs to win tonight to make anything before June 7 remotely watchable. That's a tall task. Plus, Larry Hughes is out, and he has been giving Chauncey Billups fits (although I think Billups just hasn't tried yet...again, wouldn't be the first time). But that also means Boobie is going to get infinitely more run and we won't have to watch Larry try to dribble to air out of the ball. So maybe it is a watch. We'll see.

The live blog will start at tip off, right around 8:30, maybe a little before. As always, see you after the jump.

LeBron attacks in transition, but misses the runner: doesn't matter; he's in attack mode. This is good to know. Very, very good to know. Still 2-0 early on.
Good sign or bad sign: Larry Hughes is taking a shot or cortizone and gritting this one out. "We'll see what we can get from him." Probably a good thing - Game 4, strangely is more important than Game 5. I know one thing: had I not known this, I don't think I would have been able to tell the difference in his movements.

My computer is struggling a little bit. He's a warrior, though. We're gonna stick him with an IV, have him chug some Gatorade and he'll finish the game out, much like D Will last night. And much like D Will, probably in a losing effort.

The Cavs start the game by forcing the ball into Big Z, he takes 74 dribbles and travels. So standard first possession for the Cavs.

They follow that up with Gooden missing a contested J...two possessions and LeBron hasn't touched it. Thank God Rip is 0-2.

Larry Hughes with a nice turn around! I'll take it!

MisterMarcus said...
Hasn't it only happened once before, the jazz vs. bulls, when they came back from 3 games down in like '97? Or am I mistaken and it's happened more than once?

I have no idea what that stat is, but I know it ain't alot. Which is why Hughes maybe sacrificing Game 5 for Game 4 is completely worth it. I'd rather be down 2-2 and then 3-2 than down 3-1 and then 3-2. If that makes any sense.

Bron throws up an airball from the block. That was as ugly as the step back three was gorgeous. But he's attacked the rim and he's posted up. I love how this game is starting. Can't ask for much more, really. It'd be nice if they'd gone in, but still.

Oh, shit: a closeup of Chauncey Billups reveals that he is sweating. Not a good sign. Shit. He's trying.

Billups backtaps a Rasheed Wallace missed three (his second one in the last two minutes) and the Pistons get a second possession. If the offensive player backtaps the ball, I think the offense gets it back, like, 87% of the time. I have no basis for that argument.

Bronny hits a three. Just thought you should know. Billups answers with one of his own, though. Crap. Larry Hughes is visibly limping. That was a terrible 24 seconds. 11-8, Cavs.

Good God. LeBron beats Prince off the dribble, muscles by Chauncey like he wasn't even there (no small feat mind you) and then takes advantage of Rasheed Wallace getting the fuck out of the way to positively annihilate the rim. Seriously, Sheed learned from last night. He wanted no part of that. Wise man. Cleveland by three.

8 minutes in and Larry hasn't gotten a break. Hey, Mr. Brown? He is taking drugs to play. Think he can get a quick breather?

LeBron with a nice pass to Drew Gooden's Hair Patch. DGHP hammers it. Awesome. DGHP is on fire; he hits another J.

Son of a bitch. Billups pulls up and drills a three. I hate when he is aggressive. Bad things happen. CLE up 19-17 with a little over 2 minutes left.

Prince post up and, shockingly, scores with his left hand. Hey Sasha? That paper in your locker? Its your scouting report. Give it a once over sometime, eh?

Sasha responds with a three. Fair 'nuff, Sasha, fair 'nuff. Oh! Varajea with a gorgeous reverse layup over (under?) Rasheed. And by gorgeous, I mean "horribly awkward." Cavs up 26-21.

Does it surprise anyone else that the Pistons end quarters and halves with Rip Hamilton going 1 on 1 off the dribble? They do it every single time. I know he's gotten better at it, but your telling me Billups isn't more effective there? Maybe kicking it to Rip?

Cavs up 4 at the end of one.

Sheed starts things off with a turn around and then Chauncey nails another three. This ain't good. The Cavs need someone on Detroit to play crappy. At least one someone. No one on Detroit is going along with that plan, though.

Wow. A walk on King James in Cleveland. LBJ really doesn't get the super star call quite yet. Wonder why.

Hey! Mike Brown! Get Damon Jones the hell out of the game when Chauncey is in. It is the most unfair matchup in all of sports. I am dead serious. Chauncey scores every single time. That is terrible, terrible coaching. 100% Mike Brown's fault. Don't even blame Damon, he can't help it Billups completely own him. I'm sure he knows he has no chance.

Boobie gets to the rim and gets fouled. It really is jarring watching a Cavs game and seeing someone get to the rim.

Man, LeBron is pissed off. Maxiell (man, he can get up) gets away with a goal tend (well, maybe he got it) and an LBJ runner. That's two close calls, neither one going to LeBron. Just sayin'.

Boobie oops LBJ in transition...the lob was a little low; LeBron caught it at rim level with one hand, brought it up a half-foot above the rim to his other hand and then crushed it. Boobie to LBJ...has a beautiful ring to it, no?

Damon Jones is still in and Chauncey Billups is still killing him. Of course he is. If Dan Gilbert walked over and fired Mike Brown right now, I would be fine with it and honestly, Mike Brown probably wouldn't even be surprised. Aaaaaand Damon Jones just missed a three, which is the only reason he's in there in the first place. Get him the hell out!

Oh, Daniel Gibson. Penetrates, splits a double team, then hits a one-legged Billups-esque step back. Collins put it best: That was a confident move. damn right it was.

Gibson follows that up by sticking a jumper, getting fouled, and then relentlessly pounding his chest. I am loving the Boobie Gibson era. Cavs up, 37-30.

I can't believe the amount of time Larry Hughes is getting. There is no way in hell he plays in Game 5. With Gibson playing this well, there really is no need to play him, especially considering that Billups is on fire, anyways. Honestly, why is he out there?

Marv Albert says "Boobie" three times in a row. Terrific, just terrific. He then informs us that Mike Brown refuses to call him Boobie, but when Marv texts Boobie, he does not call him DGib, as Doug Collins would like, but does indeed call him Boobie. Of course he does. It was really much more riveting live. Marv Albert saying Boobie. He really did.

Cavs up 10 because Boobie is shredding the Pistons right now. He scores 9 straight on jumpers and drives and foul shots. Z gets a putback and pushes it to 10, 43-33. This is all with LeBron out, mind you. I can't believe the Cavs have a point guard that is playing like this. Let's hope Boobie can keep up his Daron Williams impersonation.

The Cavs ended the second half well, getting up by as much as 12, but Lindsay Hunter hit a stupid 3 and somehow the lead was only 7 at the break. Good, coulda been been better.

Now comes the third quarter. Gulp. This is where the Pistons have owned the Cavs the last three games. Don't expect to read the name "LeBron" alot over the next 12 minutes. I hope you do, but don't get your hopes up.

Rip starts the third by missing a bad three. You know, he just may be the Random Piston Who Ends Up Sucking tonight. Fingers crossed, anyways.

Of course he hits a degree-of-difficulty-8.5 jumper on the very next possession. CLE lead cut to 5.

A Billups step back cuts the lead to three. Man, for whatever reason, some teams just can't play in the third quarter. Cleveland is one of them. You know what the remedy is? More Boobie. Always is, my friend, always is.

Wanna hear a secret? Ms. 23 saw the commercial for the Fantastic 4 car and thought that flying cars now existed and could be bought at your local dealership. Direct quote: "This is huge!" Just thought you should know.

(Note: I don't know if I've mentioned this before, but I hate when Simmons or someone references their significant other. Well, actually just Simmons; he takes it to an unnecessary level. So I try not to do that. But that just had to be mentioned and Ms. 23 was the best I could come up with. OK, back to the game.)

Detroit is within one, mainly because they are trying harder than Cleveland. Hamilton drills a J to take the lead. Listen, Rip, forget I said anything. Really, never mind. My bad, man, my bad.

I don't get why Cleveland's offense will just stand there sometimes. No one moves. I mean, its a choice, isn't it? Doesn't Mike Brown have a billion plays? Why not run one of 20 of them? I can't believe there is over 6 minutes left and this game is tied. What the hell.

Boobie drills a three from the corner. I am starting a Facebook group next commercial: I Heart Boobie. Have I mentioned yet that I love him?

Sheed gets called for a travel and flashes his yellow teeth in disapproval. Jack from the Lost season finale is jealous of his beard, too.

Oh, Weber hits Boobie unnecessarily hard and gets hit with a flagrant. Make that a T. He kinda threw him down, I dunno. Looked worse live. Either way, Boobie nails three straight feebies to push the lead out to 6. The crowd is into it a little bit, too. Thanks, C Web, 'preciate it!

Freakin Rip Hamilton.

Detroit is getting every big rebound. They are killing the Cavs on the offensive glass. They get two more possessions, and Boobie picks up his third "and 1" foul. Through no one's fault but Cleveland's, the Pistons are up 2.

LBJ: 0-4 so far. Least he's shooting. I guess. Guess who fouled him? Damon freakin Jones. Are we positive there is actually glass in Mike Brown's eyewear? Sure he didn't tip a plastic nose and mustache off them right before tipoff?

Cavs down 2 after 3.

Mike Brown wakes Donyell Marshall up from his nap and inserts him into the game. Thoughtful.

Varejao gets whistled for a quick foul, off the ball. The refs have been getting hammered for not being able to discern between flops and actual fouls and they are taking it on on Varejao.

There is just under 3 minutes left and the Cavs have scored 8 points. Needless to say, I have my Donyell face on right now.

LeBron misses the same back three he drilled two nights ago. LeBron is still 0-for-the-quarter. Can we just skip the third quarter somehow? Just play the second quarter twice or something? Please?

Boobie is killin' it. I can't stress this enough. He nails a floater with 10 seconds left around 3 Pistons.

Chauncey answers by driving and getting fouled with 2 seconds left. Guess who he was fouled by? None other than Damon Jones! I know, I am just as stunned as you are. Are we entirely sure that Mike Brown has actual glass in his eyewear? He didn'r rip off a plastic nose and mustache right before tip off?

Cavs down 2 after 3.

Bron nails a contested J with a toe on the line over two guys, fading away. Can we brainwash him into thinking there is no third quarter?

The Pistons are supremely confident they can win this series, I know. But they have to be legitemately scare of LeBron in the fourth quarter of a close game, right? Or are they that confident?

Beautiful pas from LeBron. Drives right, wraps it behind his back to Sleepy Marshall. Sleepy misses the and 1 free throw. Still, tied at 69. (If there are any ninth graders reading this, you can giggle now. Go right ahead.)

Why do Damon Jones and Sleepy Marshall have to play at the same time? One three point shooter isn't enough? Those two can't guard a soul. This is so stupid.

James drills a one-dribble pull up over Prince.

McDyess is killing Donyell Marshall. Cripes. Detroit up 3.

Hey, have you seen Drew Gooden around? Anywhere? Yea, me either. Weird. Wonder where he went?

That is crazy: as soon as I typed that, he lassos Rasheed Wallace and gets hit with a technical. Hey, thanks for stopping by Drew. You've been a big help.

What a move by LeBron. It looked kinda like MJ fakin out John Starts and then dunking on Ewing, cept it was from the wing and he laid it in. Lost the headband and got a foul, too. He actually finishes off the three-point play to boot. He did look oddly naked without that head band on, though.

LeBron just dribbled for the entire 24 second shot clock, somehow geta all the way to the charge circle and draws a foul. He knocks down both to pull Cleveland to within 1. Chauncey misses a bad three and Bron Bron feeds Gooden for a baseline J. I swear as soon as I rip someone, they do something great. So: watch this.

LeBron Sucks. LeBron Sucks. LeBron Sucks.

There, that should do the trick.

Sasha gets out ahead of the pack and lays one in, Cleveland takes the lead. Good God, I am nervous.

I think those two guys from the Sonic commercials should be the next commercial duo to get their own sitcom after the Cavemen (which I am positively ecstatic for).

Rasheed picked up a tech for throwing his headband during the commercial break and now refuses to put it back on. Boobie knocks down the free throw to push it to 4.

In response to the T, Rasheed wisely throws up a terrible three, which he airballs. Student of the game, Rasheed Wallace.

Goode nails back to back baseline Js. Lead out to six, and then Bron pushes it to 8 with an ungauradable step back from the top of the key. The Pistons have to be scared now, right? A little?

Three minutes left and the Pistons go zone. Its works, too: LeBron misses a bad three.

At the othe end, Billups drives, there is contact (actually, Boobie gets Billups' nuts right in his face), all three refs stare at each other for a second that lasted at least 15 minutes and then they call the charge on Mr Big Shot. The Q approves. (Boobie with another huge play. He's awesome.)

This zone is scaring the hell out of me. It just invited the Cavs to stand around and, wouldn't you know it, that is just what the Cavs love to do.

LeBron guarding Chauncey. INteresting. Rip brings the Pistons within 4.Boobie with a turnover, somehow the Cavs get it right back and Boobie promptly turns it right back over. Alrights, Boob, that play is over with. Don't let it rattle ya. Next play, homie, next play.

87-83. 1:30 left. Pistons ball. Huge, huge series. A cold Eric Snow checks in...he forces Prince to give it up to Billups, LeBron with a terrific close out and then Billups throws it away to Gooden. Hughes wasn't even on the court, Chauncey. What gives? Gooden hits 1 of 2. Cavs up 5.

Make that three. Rip elevates over Boobie like he isn't even there. 88-85, Cavs. 1:02 left. My hands are shaking. Leo DiCaprio in "The Departed," I am not.

This might not be the best time to bring this up, but the JumboTron is demanding that all fans do The Twirly Bird. What the hell is The Twirly Bird?

Detroit doubles LeBron at the top of the key and force him to give it up to Gooden, who gets the hell blocked out of him by Rasheed, leading to....Chauncey Billups taking a terrible, off balance, contested three in transition. Cavs clear it. 37 seconds left. TO, Cavs. Can LeBron do ittwo games in a row....no, he misses a bad three, but Detroit can't get the board, there is a scramble at midcourt and somehow Eric Snow is fouled...excpet he is cold as hell and shouldn't even be in. Of course he misses the first. He isn't even sweating. Gotta have the second to push it to 4....yes!

I swear LeBron just tipped it in for the Pistons. I swear it was him. 4.0 seconds left, Pistons foul LeBron....this is it, King James...gotta have 'em....makes the first!...and the second...yes! Unreal. Two games in a row LeBron steps up and pushed a lead from 2 to 4 when it really matters. We are watching this young man grow up! Sob. Don't cry, don't cry!

Sheed misses a three and that is it, kiddies. LeBron and Boobie just saved the playoffs. Well, at least the conference finals. Man...2-2 going back to Detroit, LeBron playing in attack mode, Boobie playing out of his mind...can't ask for much more than that, can you? I will definitely be live blogging that game in Thursday. See you then.

Kobe Would Rather Not Play in LA Unless it is Being Run by The Logo

2007-05-29T12:07:00.000-04:00

The impetus for Kobe's demand - which he is denying, of course - is that in his exit interview, Kupchak et al. informed Mr. Bryant that they would be doing exactly nothing to change the Lakers current roster, at least according to Chad Ford.

Now, I am no General Manager of a professional NBA team, but just from watching the Lakers on my television from the second cushion on my couch, I am pretty sure they need to do something to that roster. If I was Kobe, I'd demand they get me someone who knows what the hell they are doing, because Mitch certainly doesn't, or I'd want out, too.

How the hell can Kupchak have watched the last two seasons and not feel the need to do something? What does he expect to happen from now until next season? Kobe will get even better? Farmar will pull a Deron Williams? Cake Thrower won't be terrible? If Kupchak's general plan is to make no moves and just think this roster needs another year "to gel" then he is just a very, very, very bad talent evaluator and a very, very, very bad GM and/or he makes the worst plans ever. Probably both.

(You'd think Kobe would have taken this into consideration the first time around. I mean, he did see who Kupchak traded Shaq for, right?)

So, what could West do that Kupchak can't...er, refuses to? Well, for starters, something. It isn't like the Lakers don't have a few desirable pieces. Bynum seems to be coveted, they have a midround pick in a loaded draft, Lamar & Farmar could bring something back.

Really, all Kobe needs is one more above average player around him and they are title contenders. If they traded this year's pick, Bynum and Cake Thrower to Jermaine O'Neal (who knows if that'd happen; I'm just sayin, try it), they'd be in the conference finals.

The West is only getting better an deeper, and Kupchak's grand plan to restore the Lakers to prominence is to do nothing. Stand pat. Let Kobe destroy himself for another 82 games, sneak LA into the playoffs, and the lose. Again. This is ridiculous. Can't Kobe just fire him? Matt Millen is baffled by his job security.

The thing that is so dumb about the Lakers plan is that they have no direction. Either keep Kobe and Lamar and overpay via trade for some questionable veterans and try to win now, or ship Kobe outta there, even though you want get fair value (because there is none) and build around your young pieces. Make up your damn mind. Make a tough choice and have some frickin' conviction about it. My God, I couldn't care less about the Lakers and the stupidity of the whole thing has me all fired up.

The whole thing is a non-starter, though, because like Kupchak said, he isn't doing a damn thing to the roster and that presumably includes Bean. Besides, what the hell could you get back for Bryant that would make it worth it?

And if Kobe somehow did get traded to a contender - and the contender somehow managed to acquire him without gutting its entire roster - everyone would hate Kobe. The only reason he isn't hated right now is because his team has no chance to win. Imagine Kobe competing for titles every year? People would go right back to the "all he does is shoot," "he isn't a team player," "remember what he did to that poor girl in Eagle, Co." and my personal favorite, "he doesn't make his teammates better."

So Kobe is stuck in LA for at least another year or two, and he will somehow get people to feel sorry for him, even though he created this whole situation in the first place, partly because when he ran Shaq outta town (or at the very least, didn't do everything in his power to make it work) he entrusted the best year's of his career to someone who is not good at all at what he does. It's no one's fault but Kobe's, really.

LeBron Has Me Getting Waaaay Ahead of Myself.

2007-05-28T00:21:00.000-04:00

Without a doubt, we just witnessed the finest post season performance of young LBJ's career. Better than the debut trip-dub, better than the Washington buzzer-beaters, better than that three-game stretch against Detroit last year.

"Finally" isn't the right word, but it is the first word that comes to mind.

Bron in the fourth quarter was remarkable. Dunking on people, pull ups, step back threes. Did you expect all those shots - the jumpers, not the assaults on the rim - to go in? All of them? Even the step back? The pull up over Rip? You're a better man than me if your faith never wavered.

I know he has hit buzzer beaters in the playoffs before, but those were all around the rim. Hitting game-winning J's (or game-clinching, I should say) is on an entirely different level.

And the way he clutched up, pushing that two point lead to four, for all intents and purposes icing the game? That was an incredible shot: he had his entire body facing the corner, keeping he help defender still by hinting that he was going to pass (to the same spot that he hit Donyell Marshall in Game 1; maybe a subtle "screw you" to anyone who criticized that decision?) and then turned his body, as he was rising, toward the rim. Pure.

LeBron has insisted that it is going to take a team effort to compete with Detroit, and he's right, but even more than that, it is going to take performances like that. I can't begin to tell you how thrilled, geeked, pumped, excited, anxious I am the he has seemingly managed to find the middle ground between pure scorer and "just" table-setter. 32-9-9? Assuming the defensive effort stays constant, that is almost a guaranteed win (well, at least at the Q....I am aware that I may be getting a bit ahead of myself here; can't help it.)

After the game, Craig Sager asked if this was going to be the LeBron we see for the rest of the playoffs, and he gave about a 30-second answer, but I didn't hear anything he said after "yes" because I was running around the room, pumping my fist like amateur Tiger Woods.

It was more the way he did it than just that he did it. In Games 1 and 2, he fed his teammates early (and late) and then tried to play off them. He just can't do that; his supporting cast, God bless them, just doesn't have it in them. Game 3 was a 180: he dominated early and often and that opened everything up for everyone else.

(I can't believe I have written six paragraphs and I haven't screamed "BOOBIE!" yet. Unacceptable. Two HUGE threes. Cleveland's two most pressing needs are a shooter and a point guard. Did they find both? Good God, I really am getting ahead of myself. I'll try to reign it in.)

But back to LeBron - as much as he wants this series to be about the Cleveland Cavaliers, it will always be LeBron vs. Detroit. Anyone wearing a Cleveland jersey without a 23 on it might as well have "Extra" stitched above the number. The thing I was most unsure about - not scared, I guess, but unsure - was whether he was deferring to his teammates, both in the final seconds and throughout the game, because he was unwilling to stand in the spotlight by himself or because he truly believe in his teammates.

I think I have my answer. Did he looked even the littlest bit hesitant? That was a clutch performance, to be sure, but that was a veteran performance. Moving teammates and defenders around like chess pieces and then taking over when it was needed. Game 4 can't come soon enough. The Cavs are pulling this shit off.

Maybe finally is the right word.

Sometimes, Two Wrongs Do Make a Right

2007-05-22T21:43:00.000-04:00

You could make a pretty solid argument that two of the most unfair rules in all of sports are the NBA Draft Lottery and the NBA's Age Limit. But combining the two? Gold, Jerry...that's gold!

Forcing Durant and Oden to chill for a year in college ramped up interest in the draft beyond anything I can remember since LeBron and Melo. (And honestly? The hype around the '07 Draft will probably top that; it will get unprecedented attention.) And the randomness of the lottery only multiplied it.

Say what you want about the Lotto being a gimmick (it is) and unfair (it is), but man, it really delivered the goods this year, didn't it? Stern has to be freakin' thrilled with how that went. It was dramatic, plus the chalk picks, so to speak, weren't even close and teams that needed help are going to get it. I don't think the L could ask for a more exciting evening, do you? (Well, maybe if we were watching SA/PHX for the right to go the Finals instead of Jazz/Spurs afterwards...but still.)

So, so much happened. Boston got shafted into the 5 spot (that clown who had a C's Oden jersey on can wrap it around that Sporting News cover of Duncan in Celtic Green so they can bury him with them after he blows his head off). The Suns somehow missed out on the No. 4 pick in a loaded draft (D'Antoni is not having a good week, is he? And what the hell do you do with Marion now?). Atlanta has two top-10 picks (Let me be one of the first - but certainly not the last - to say that I cannot wait to see how they blow both of those - anyone wanna bet me they draft Conley at 3 and then Acie Law IV at 10 and then can't believe they are being bashed for finally drafting some PGs?).

And that doesn't even take into account the top two spots, the reason everyone was watching in the first place. Does Portland draft Oden and start him along with Aldridge and Randolph for like, a freaking great front line for years to come? Or do they fill that hole at the 3-spot with Durant? Either way, they are the Bulls of the Western Conference now...mad young guns for the next decade. Can whoever Seattle drafts - probably Durant - save basketball in Seattle?

One glaring problem: both Oden and Durant are going to the West. Wouldn't the league have been better off with Oden in Boston and Durant in Atlanta? Stern couldn't see to that happening? We could have LeBron, D Wade, Bosh, Oden, Durant and the Pistons at least making the East respectable, if not competitive. The All Star game would be more fun, at least.

Now the West is even more loaded, while the East's chances for young up-and-coming teams rest on the incompetence in Boston, the incompetence in Atlanta, and Milwaukee. Yeesh.

This draft is like the perfect storm...two franchise changers who are forced to go to school come out the same year that three lottery picks decide to return to school and win a second title...this year is a freak show. And the West won out again. Of course they did.

(Oh, and one more gripe...why do teams send this COO's and CEO's and shit that only the team's fans have ever heard of - and probably hate? I am glad Portland won just because they actually sent someone cool. Teams should take note for next season; the basketball Gods like these things. They couldn't throw a vote up on the team website with some decent options? This is too much to ask?)

Regardless, the hype leading up to the actual draft is going to be off-the-charts (I am pretty sure Al Gore invented the Internets and sports blogs just for shit like this). Might as well get started right now. Here is a quick mock draft of the lotto teams, which I am sure will change countless times by draft day.

1. The Luckiest Bastards in the L - Greg Oden.
I am not exactly sure how they will strategically pull it off, but how can you resist that aforementioned front line? Plus they have Przybilla and Magloire on the bench...I think that is an absolutely terrific problem to have. They will be freakin' huge. The NBA is moving towards skill and speed, push the ball, drive and kick, knock down threes...and Portland is going to ruin it. They are just going to beat teams into submission. Eventually.

2. __________ Super Sonics - Kevin Durant.
Hmmm...how do you feel about all this, Rashard Lewis? Think you might be staying? No? Didn't think so...you and Chauncey are going to look bad ass in those Cleveland uniforms. But Durant is the obvious no-brainer here.

(Just out of curiosity: what if either Portland or Seattle pulls a Mario Williams here? I know because of the cap, it is unlikely to happen...but what if? Would this be a bigger crime than Reggie Bush going second to the Saints?

What if Seattle says, "hey, we play in the same division as AI, Deron Williams, Randy Foye and Brandon Roye...we need to be able to protect the paint...we take Brandan Wright." You know, how the Texans took Mario Williams because they said they can't stop the Peyton and Co.? What would happen? Would they be kicked out of the league? Would it be the greatest draft screw-up ever?)

3. The Sweetest Throwback Jerseys in the Lottery - Brandan Wright
I can't believe I am saying this...but I kind of feel bad for the Hawks. They need a point guard and a center...and they barely miss out on franchise center and this is too high to take any of the PGs. They don't need to reach for a PG here, they'll be able to get Conley (or at least Acie Law) at 11. Just grab Brandan Wright and hope that when he balls with Marvin Williams at Chapel Hill over the summer, something clicks.

Too bad the Hawks couldn't have snagged the No. 1 pick, too: they could have made Oden and Conley's dream of playing together in the L come true. Single tear.

4. The Logo's Retirement Home - Yi.
I'm just going to call him Yi. Anyone mind? K, moving on.

5. At least we have the Pats & Sawx. Roy Hibbert
I don't know why, but this brought me absolutely glee. Glee, I tell you, glee. Maybe it is because I read too much Simmons, but Boston seemed like they were absolutely tanking - more than anyone else; whether that is true or not I don't know - and their front office was being dumb on purpose. They revolved their entire plan around a lottery. Not smart. I'm guessing that when they are fired, they will not be selling financial advice.

But they need a true big man. I think Hibbert is that. Man, this just sucks for Boston.

(Oh: I have never been this excited for a Simmons column. This is gonna be great. I can't wait to hear the rationalization here. To steal a line: good times, good times.)

6. Milwaukee - Corey Brewer
Frankly, I'd be shocked if he ends up really lasting this long. I think he is a middle-class man's Kevin Durant. Yes sir, I do. He is a better on-ball defender than Kevin Durant and he can do some of the same things offensively. He'd be the steal of the draft if he fell to No. 6.

7. KG's Kidnappers- Al Horford
I don't even want to speculate what a KG-Foye-No. 7 pick would look like because they should freaking trade KG and get at least another pick in this draft. Horford is the best available here though.

8. Charlotte Tar Heels - Jeff Green
Julian Wright would probably fit in better, but this team needs someone solid. I see Green as a stabalizer in the NBA. He seems to be the most mature prospect to me in the draft (don't even say Oden is; he is secretly 12 years old). On a team with this much young talent, I think that isn't something to overlook.

9. Blazers of the East - Spencer Hawes
The Bulls have to draft a post player. It doesn't matter if it is a reach. Spencer Hawes is far and away the best one available right now. They need to take him and not even think twice.

10. Queens - Julian Wright
Point guard is tempting here, but for the time being, they do have Bibby. Kevin Martin and Bibby are a solid backcourt. Is Mike Conley or Acie Law better than either of those two? That team needs an explosive finisher around the rim. Wright fits the bill.

11. Still the Sweetest Throwbacks in the Lottery - Mike Conley, Jr.
Now the Hawks can take a point guard. Finally. Only took them three years. Conley isn't going to be great right away - really, he can't shoot - but could he be another Tony Parker? Decent J, fast as hell getting into the lane? In a few years, absolutely.

12. The Iladelph - Acie Law IV
There are going to be a lot of teams clamoring for a point guard in the off-season - Cleveland, Los Angeles, Miami. Trade Andre Miller and draft Acie Law. You get younger and cheaper. Its a win-win.

13. NOOCH - Al Thorton
Paul and Peja in the backcourt, Chandler and West on the block, Desmond Mason can play the three, but Thorton adds some nice versatility. I'm getting sleepy.

14. Clip Show - Joakin Noah
Two years ago, the Clippers were an exciting up and coming team. Now I think I hate them. Might as well draft Noah and make it official. I mean, somebody has to draft him.

You are highly encouraged to tell me where I screwed up.

What Would The Global Icon Do?

2007-05-22T11:49:00.000-04:00

LeBron needs to take that shot.

Not because he was already by Prince and is strong enough to finish, regardless of what help might have gotten there. Not because he is his team's best player and the face of the franchise. Not because he is the biggest star left in the playoffs.

LeBron needs to take that shot because he wants to be a Global Icon.

Global Icon's take that shot. All-Stars might make that pass, Hall of Famers might make that pass. But Global freakin' Icons dismiss Prince, finish at the rim and then win the game in overtime.

Don't get me wrong, there is a sound logic to making that pass. On the road, against a team that is better than you, you go for the win. Who wants to play a team that is better than you for five more minutes on thier home court? A dude who hit 6 threes in a close game a few days ago is wide open, you throw it to him and you steal homecourt. In most instances, that is a very good play.

But not when a Global Icon is the one throwing the pass. That's the exception.

Global Icons hit the game winner. They score the most points, too. If you are baseball's Global Icon, you hit the most home runs, not slap the most singles. Football's Global Icon scores the most touchdowns. If he is a great blocker, fine, but that isn't what he hangs his hat on.

And I get the LeBron is just 22. But no one asked him if he wanted to be a Global Icon. He came up with that all on his own. He raised the bar. He raised expectations. And Global Icons just do not hand in 10-point performances in the conference finals and then pass on the buzzer beater. 22-year old phenoms can, but Global Icons can't.

Hey, I have defended LeBron in the past when he deferred on the final shot, but this is different. He was a foot, maybe inches from the rim with no one in his way. Maybe if he is double-teammed, or stopped, then he passes. Maybe.

That final play, at least to me, was indicative of the game was a whole. LeBron was involved, sure, but not to any great degree and the burden of the game fell on everyone else. The Cavs ain't winning if Bron Bron keeps that up.

The thing about LeBron not scoring is that he is playing right into the Pistons game plan. Getting his teammates involved is what LeBron wants to do, but oddly enough, it is what the Pistons want him to do, too. The superstars offensive attack strategy rarely lines up so perfectly with his opponent's defensive philopshy, does it?

But when LeBron scores, it is devestating. It changes the game. Detroit gears up to stop it, realizes they can't and it has an effect. LeBron scoring - or hell, at least being aggressive - blows up the Detroit scheme. For that reason alone, he's got to.

It is a shame the Cavs blew a chance to steal home court, but this game means nothing in terms of the rest of the series. Both teams still have aces in their respective holes: The Pistons can unleash Chauncey Billups before 5 minutes left in the fourth quarter (and for that matter, just play better as a team). The Cavs, of course, can still hope Motivated LeBron shows up. If one, or both, of those happen, this series will be wildy different than that Arena League Football game we watched last night.

In a way, I kind of feel bad for LeBron. He is going to get hammered for not being more dominant, but he wants to win his way, partly, I would guess becuase he thinks it is the right way and partly to shut everyone the hell up. He's stubborn, I think, and everyone telling him that he is going about things the wrong way will only reinforce in him the notion that he has to do it his way, results be damned.

If that is the case, fine. He is talented enough to win his way - if not this year, then down the line with a better supporting cast. I just worry that he might genuinely be shying away from the spotlight. And that is a scary thought. These playoffs have made unheros out of more than a few stars - Dirk, T.Mac, Kobe - and I'd hate to see Bron Bron fall into that category. Of course, all those guys can easily redeem themselves. But still.

Game 2 should tell all. If LeBron drops another near triple-double but barely cracks double-digits...well, I don't want to think about that.

"Hey You Kids! Get Off My Lawn! And Turn Down That Damn Rock Music, Too!"

2007-05-17T23:17:00.001-04:00

Some random, disjointed thoughts on the Second Season while wondering how the hell ESPN stole a Thursday night "Gone Fishin'" game away from TNT....

(Ha! I always wanted to start a post like that...)

--It is incredibly hard to cheer for the Cavs and especially LeBron. I try so, so hard...and they just screw around out there. I refuse to believe they are trying as hard as they can to win. They just aren't and no one will ever convince me otherwise. LeBron could come over, sit on my couch and watch game film with me and he couldn't convince me.
With a chance to close out the conference semi-finals on their home court, not only didn't they try hard, they looked disinterested. I just...I just don't get what kind of mindset that is.

I am a firm believer that a team takes on the demeanor of its best player. It isn't intentional, but it just happens. The Cavs all act like LeBron and since they all weren't hand picked by God Himself to be great at basketball, this is a very bad thing. They really should just be called The LeBrons. Every single one of them just dribbles around and then launches a bad shot at the end of the shot clock. It is infuriating. Anderson Varejao is the lone exception.

LeBron is the most exciting player in the league and all I get to watch is him bouncing around on failed pick and rolls and then launching a stupid shot. Someone coach him. Please. Teach him how to do basketball shit, because for as good as he is, he clearly has a lot to learn. Like "Letting the game come to you" does not mean "not shooting." And "getting my teammates involved" does not mean "just reversing the ball from side to side." And would it kill Mike Brown to pull him over and say "Drive! Drive to the rim! No one can stop you! You can't freaking shoot, just put your head down and go to the rim!" And if Vince Carter accidentally hears him, well, there would be worse things.

Part of me wishes LeBron would break his foot, kinda like young MJ. I would willingly sacrifice a year of Young LeBron if it instilled in him a joy for the game and made him realize he should play hard every night, if not in the regular season, then at the very least, in the playoffs.

- The Pistons are guilty of this, too. They should have swept the Bulls, but the put it on cruise control for two games. And listen, I know this is nothing new, but it is driving me crazy. I can see this happening in the regular season, but how does this happen in the playoffs?!?!

- This leads me to believe the NBA has a competition problem. I mean, after the Bulls got eliminated, it was all smiles and hugs and pounds - from both sides. I am not expecting them to reenact some senior from a mid-major crying when his Sweet 16 run comes to and end, but cripes fellas, at least act like you care. When T. Mac got choked up after losing in the first round, and everyone hammered him for it (Seriously, screw everyone on Around the Horn except Michael Smith and Stat Boy. And Maybe JA.), you know what the response should have been? Good! Someone cares! Is everyone else watching this! Take notes! It shouldn't take 20 straight first round exits to elicit this type of emotion!

Simmons points this out in his excellent article about the Suns/Spurs suspensions, but really, the NBA does not allow its players to compete as hard as they possibly can. It is a sanitized, watered-down product. Kinda makes me wish I was aware of basketball in the 80s. I hear it was intense.

I really feel like I am being a cranky old man screaming at kids to get off his lawn, but sheesh...just try hard. You don't even have to be good. Just try hard. K, I'm done. Pressure points, pressure points. Woo-sah, woo-sah.

- I am pretty sure I hate every single NBA announcer right now. Yea, every single one. They are all just so full of shit. No one says what they really think. It is just hour after hour of politically correct spin and making things sound a lot better than they are. I mean, that is what sportscasting has been reduced to, and I am aware of that, but I am just sick of it.

Take Hubie and Mike Tirico tonight. Two fine guys, not the worst at their jobs; in fact, they are probably more respected than the great majority of their profession. But any time there was a missed call or a controversial decision, the pair just either glossed over it or agreed with the refs, regardless of what the replay showed. Their own opinions were no where to be found. The only time we saw any genuine emotion was when Sheed got a T and they could pontificate and berate him.

I'm just...I'm sick of it. Can't we get two guys who don't sound like robotic cliche-spitting machines?

- All this time off: good or bad for the Jazz? Rest or rust? Considering the injuries they have had at the guard position, rest has to be helpful. Odds are it doesn't even matter, but the Jazz should be heading into the conference finals in the best possible position.

And how about AK47? Does someone want to explain that one to me? I am really happy for the dude, but how o you go from a crying mess to a dominant force like that? I think he started taking steroids.

- My new favorite meaningless debate: "Did the suspensions cost the Suns Game 5?" Well, it certainly didn't help them, did it? That whole situation is just disgraceful.

- To recap: of the four semi-final series, one features the two unguardable penetrators challenging each other to a jump shooting contest, the other features a team that let a series drag out to six games out of pure indifference, another featured the end of the greatest story of the playoffs so far in pretty disappointing fashion and the last, which should be the defining series of the 07 Second Season has been forever tainted with some bogus suspension and every single game is being called my a bunch of phonies. Ugh.

Alright, I'm gonna stop before I start kicking dogs or something. Bright spots, anyone?

Enforcing Rules Just Because They Are Rules is Awesome

2007-05-16T14:28:00.000-04:00

So Amare and Boris are gone for a game for running in the general direction of a little fracas. Fine. The NBA is ruining a terrific series by holding two of the Suns best players to the letter of the law. OK. I guess.

But would it have killed Stu Jackson to have a press conference that went something like this?

"Good afternoon, good afternoon. Alright, let's get right to this. Amare and Boris both broke a rule. Everyone saw it live and the video evidence did nothing to overturn what we initially saw. To be honest, this was one of the easier decisions I've ever had to make. The law was clear and the players' actions were clear. Case closed.

But here is the thing: we screwed up. While we still believe in the intent of the rule forbidding players to leave the bench during a fight, we now realize - because of this situation - that we worded the rule waaaaaaay to strongly. The rule is meant to limit the escalation of fights. Amare and Boris did not do that in any way, shape or form and we actually commend the Phoenix bench for the restraint they showed when Robert Horry cheap shotted their team leader.

So here is what we are going to do: we are going to use a little common sense. Boris, and even more particularly Amare, are vital parts to what has been maybe the best series of the playoffs so far. If we remove them, the series becomes heavily tainted. We will not be suspending either of them. We are going to reword the rule. We are not going to let an archaic and poorly-executed ruled handcuff us when making a decision that will ultimately ruin our product.

Any questions?"

Yes, Mr. Jackson: what are you going to tell the Spurs? How can you not enforce a rule now when you have been blindly and irrationally enforcing it in the past?

"Well, it took me a while, but this extraordinary circumstance made me realize just how silly this whole thing is. I mean, really...what did they do? Took a few steps towards a fight and stopped? C'mon, I'm gonna ruin a terrific series over that? Really?

As far as the Spurs, I would say, well...you started it. How is it fair for your role player (and let me be the first to say that he is a superb, superb role player) can deck the best player on the other team and not really hurt his team at all?"

Mr. Jackson, say this was James Jones and Pat Burke who had run towards the fracas? Would we still be having this conversation?

Hell no. They'd be suspended for a game and we'd be looking forward to a terrific Game 5.

So then how do you defend that? How is one rule fair for superstars and another rule fair for bench players?

"Listen, the rule is dumb and out-of-touch. It was a blanket overreaction to a situation hat had to be dealt with. It took Amare and Boris getting suspended for the pivital game of the preeminent playoff series of 2007 to show us that. Had this been two scrubs, we wouldn't have realized just how dumb this rule really is. So we are not giving super stars special treatment; rather, super stars are the impetus to permanent change."

Thank you for your time and your rationality, Mr. Jackson. It is a rarity, sir, and we applaud you for it.

"Just doing my job, fellas. Just doing what job."

Would that really have been so hard? Who would have been against that? Maybe a few sticklers for enforcing rules just because they are rules, regardless of their viability? The Spurs, maybe?

I would imagine that the only reason that the NBA enforced this rule in the first place was so they would look like they didn't play favorites. But really, all they would have to endure was a few columns from some inane columnists and Skip Bayless screaming like a lunatic for a day or two and it would all be over. Now, any time this series is brought up down the line - which it will be, since the winner is going to win the whole thing - this tainted Game 5 will be the first thing mentioned.

The only way to save this whole situation? The Suns need to win this series. At the very least, they need to win this game. If the Spurs rattle off the next two games, the NBA is going to look very, very bad.

The Spurs Need to Lose the Next Two Games By A Lot of Points

2007-05-15T00:52:00.000-04:00

Fuck the Spurs.

I apologize for saying the fuck word. Really, I do. I try not to say that word too much, and I think I have been doing a pretty good job of it lately, but seriously: fuck the Spurs.

They Spurs are such collective d-bags that they have somehow managed to rub off on Robert Horry. Big Shot Rob! C'mon, San Antonio, leave the man alone! Him and Michael Finley were the only guys I liked on that team, and now I can't even shake my head in amazement for Big Shot Rob after his ridiculous cheap shot on Steve Nash that might end up getting Amare and Diaw suspended for Game 5. (What a trade off, eh? Rob for STAT and Diaw? SA has to be geeked right now.)

San Antonio should be an eminently likable team. If your team is knocked out of the playoffs, or you are a casual fan with no vested interest, San Antonio should be a team that you can latch onto during the post season and just appreciate good basketball.

They play terrific team basketball. They play well together, pass the ball crisply, play great defense. Individually, they have the best pivot in the NBA, a fast point guard who loves nothing more than flying into the paint, a herky-jerky sixth man who has some of the most creative finishes in the NBA and a cast of unselfish veterans who do nothing but hit clutch shots.

They easily pass the eye ball test. You can just look at them and tell they are a good team playing a high-level of basketball. People should like them. I should like them.

But fuck them.

From top to bottom, 1-12, they are uncontrollable whiners. No call goes uncomplained about, no missed call escapes the team's raised eyebrows. Seriously: every friggin' call. They are relentless about it. But you know this.

The worst part about it is that each player on the team each has a specific role they have mastered to piss everyone off to maximum capacity. They really have perfected the art of annoying the freakin' hell out of anyone who watches them play.

Tim Duncan has perfected the art of complaining after every call. Every single call. By now, it is such a commonplace occurrence that you barely even notice it. Whistle. Foul on Duncan. Duncan holds up arms in sheer bewilderment. Opponent goes to the line. Repeat. And the thing is, Duncan gets away with murder. Outside of D Wade and maybe LeBron, no one gets protected more than Duncan. No one.

One of my favorite Seinfeld lines was George's advice to Jerry when he had to lie on a polygraph: "Remember - it's not really a lie if you believe it." Duncan has to have himself convinced that he is impervious to fouls. They just don't happen to him, so any whistle blown against him is clearly wrong. Needless to say, that act is infuriating.

And that thing where he hugs the ball is just grating to me. It is like scratching your nails on a chalkboard while biting into a popsicle with your two front teeth. Freakin' unbearable.

Then there is Manu. He has the whole "Who me?!?!" routine down pretty well - he has a way to go before he is in Duncan's league, though - but he throws a severe case of flopping on top of it. The dude just throws his body all over the place, initiating contact and then going down like a sniper hit him at the smallest amount of contact. Actually, if he was actually touched when he went down, I could live with that, but dude drops to the court for no reason whatsoever.

And he gets calls! There was a play the other night when he drove, missed, gestured at the ref the way Europeans do (you know, with the upturned palm and the raised shoulder), took a step down the court and then the whistle blew. Unreal. I don't know how he does it; the man is more persistent than Craig Sager.

Tony Parker has somehow managed to make me say "My God, another close up of Eva Longoria? Can we please get her off the screen!" I never thought that could happen, and I hate him for it.

But the worst - by far - is Bruce Bowen. Hands down, the dirtiest player in the NBA. I loved the whole "Is Bruce Bowen dirty?" debate with no one in the national media having the stones to call him out and skirting around the whole issue. Well, he plays really tough...he walks that fine line...if he is, he always gets away with it...he is crafty...now let's talk about how good the Spurs are at defense. What a joke. The man is a despicable prick on the basketball court who is effective in part because dudes are just flat out scared to even jump around him. There is a laundry list of superstars who have called him out on it, too. Not only is he dirty, but he puts other players careers on the line on a regular basis. It doesn't get any more despicable than that.
And now Big Shot Rob. What the hell, San Antonio, what the hell.

If San Antonio would just embrace their role as assholes, I think I'd be a little more inclined not to hate them as much. Kind of like Mayweather. Yea, he was an over the top prick, but at least he knew he was being one and begged someone to call him on it. It made you think twice about cheering against him. That type of self awareness, realizing that you have to be an asshole to get the most out of your competitiveness, while maybe not commendable, is at least intriguing.

But San Antonio insists on this whole "What? Us? What did we ever do!" bullshit that drives everyone crazy. Well, me at least. So, until they embrace their inner-Mayweather: fuck the Spurs.

I Saw It, But I Don't Believe It

2007-05-04T01:15:00.000-04:00

I just watched the Warriors knock off the Mavs, and I really can't believe it. I mean, I saw it and everything, but it just hasn't registered. I think maybe if it was a close series it would make more sense, but the Warriors just had their way with the Mavs.

It wasn't even close. Did it look to anyone else like the Mavs weren't even trying? Pass, pass, jack bad shot, make a minimal effort to get back on defense, give up three or lay up or commit foul, go back to the other end, watch Dirk pretend to want the ball, jack bad shot, make minimal effort to get back in transition. It was just bizarre.

And I get that the Warriors aren't exactly a traditional number one seed, but cripes. They whooped their ass.

The Mavs quit, didn't they? They just stopped trying. Between the tanking this season, the Mavs quitting, the Lakers quitting in a game against the Suns...the NBA is looking at a competition problem.

And I can think of no more time than to completely over react: can the Warriors win it all? They handled the best team in the regular season with ease; it stands to reason they can beat anyone. I'll tell you what: Warriors vs. Suns in the conference finals might produce the first game ever with a combined 400 points.

People I am happy for:

B. Diddy. He played like an absolute force of nature and did it with such joy. He makes me hate living on the East Coast.

Jason Richardson. I always liked J Rich for some reason I could never put my finger on.

Don Nelson. Now he just needs to win that $6.6 million court case...

Mark Cuban. Good for you. This is why you don't act like an persecuted, arrogant know-it-all who can do no wrong: because when you get humiliated in the worst possible way on a national stage, it is that much worse. Raise your hand if you feel one iota of remorse for Cubes? Thought so.

People I am sad for:

Dirk. Man, he just had a meltdown. There is no other word for it. He is going to get hammered with criticism, and rightly so, but I just feel bad for the dude. Sucks when the light shines brightest on you and you completely shrink from the moment. He is going to have one of the longest off-season's ever.

Jerry Stackhouse. UNC alum, first and foremost. But more than anyone else he didn't play like he wanted nothing to do with the situation.

Avery Johnson. I don't know if he was really out-smarted by his mentor, but either way, that will wear on his psyche for a while, I'd think. From all accounts, no coach works harder than him. You can never cheer against the hardest worker in a business, any business.

Where do the Mavs go from here? Do you blow up a team that won more games than anyone else in the L? Or do you try to bounce back with a group that is responsible for the greatest failure in the history of the NBA post season?

Long, long off season in Dallas. I can't wait to see Mark Cuban do something he regrets (and shaving that goatee wouldn't be it).

The First Round in Review. Or, Another Blogger Bashes the Ted Ginn Jr. Pick.

2007-04-30T22:58:00.000-04:00

Round 1 was unbearably long...so let's make it last a little bit longer:

1 Oakland QB Russell, JaMarcus
I get it, but who on Planet Earth is he going to throw to? The biggest team cancer not named TO? A point guard? The face of failure in Detroit? And who is going to block for him? If I am JaMarcus, I am very excited to be here, very rich and very open to clip board duty for a while.

2 Detroit WR Johnson, Calvin
I know it is the right pick - hey, they got the best player in the draft - but I love that they had to take a WR. Mike Furrey feels totally disrespected, though. He may turn into a locker room cancer. Damn prima donna wide receivers.

3 Cleveland OT Thomas, Joe
I love how the Browns drafted the one guy who wanted absolutely nothing to do with all the hype and overexposure of the NFL Draft and then followed that up by drafting the day's - year's? - biggest media whore. Bet they get along swimmingly.

4 Tampa Bay DE Adams, Gaines
Um, good pick. Yea. But you do remember your quarterback situation last year, right? If your DE position was a bigger disaster than that, well...I will see you in this same spot next year.

5 Arizona OT Brown, Levi
I don't care if it was a reach, they HAD to draft a lineman. That o-line was atrocious, horrendous, god awful. They were forced into a corner. Drafting at any other position was negligent and irresponsible. Peterson might be a better player, but he would have reboken that collar bone every other game running behind that line.

6 Washington FS Landry, LaRon
What the hell? The future wasn't sacrificed for an aging super star? Didn't they see Bruce Smith announce that one pick? He's available!

7 Minnesota RB Peterson, Adrian
Have fun with Tavarus Jackson or whatever the hell his name is. We might see the first ever "11 men in the box" defense next year...and it'll work.

8 Atlanta (from Houston) DE Anderson, Jamaal
This is weird...is he going to do the Dirty Bird, too?

9 Miami WR Ginn Jr., Ted
Alright, we get it. They blew it. I just like how Cam Cameron defended the pick: "Hey, I have known the Ginn family for a long time, he's a great kid and will be a great punt returner." I love how the Dolphins only draft friends of the Cameron family now.

And this notion that John Beck comes in with less pressure now. Are you kidding me? He will forever be compared to Brady Quinn. Any success Quinn has will only serve to heighten Beck's screw ups. Miami just better pray Quinn blows.

10 Houston (from Atlanta) DT Okoye, Amobi
Something special is brewing on that Houston defensive line. I can feel it. I think the Colts are quite frightened as well.

11 San Francisco ILB Willis, Patrick
Yes. Just yes. The best LB on the board? Yes. I could watch the highlight of him planting that dude from LSU over and over and over...

12 Buffalo RB Lynch, Marshawn
Good thing Buffalo traded that running back with character issues away. Wouldn't want a high-priced possible head case in the backfield, now would we?

13 St. Louis DE Carriker, Adam
I dunno. I have nothing.

14 N.Y. Jets (from Carolina) CB Revis, Darrelle
Darrelle, Randy. Randy, Darrelle. You two have fun now.

15 Pittsburgh OLB Timmons, Lawrence
Filled a need. Terrific. Pittsburgh has the most boring drafts ever. They're good at it, but they are boring as shit. They are the Spurs of drafting. On a side note: have you seen Mike Tomlin's haircut? That thing is SHARP. His sideburns up to the side of his hair is just razor sharp; I have no idea how to get one's hair like that. I need to see it in HDTV. If he pays as much attention to detail as a head coach as he does to his haircut, the Steelers will be the most prepared team in the NFL, hands down.

16 Green Bay DT Harrell, Justin
"What about Brett! He needs some weapons! What kind of message does this send to the face of your franchise?!?!" Whoa, sorry, channeled Steve Young there for a second.

17 Denver (from Jacksonville) DE Moss, Jarvis
The Pats had a terrific off-season, but Denver isn't screwing around either. I see these two in the AFC Championship Game, and Denver can actually match up with the Pats' wide outs. They traded up to get Moss, so they must think he can help them now.

18 Cincinnati CB Hall, Leon
Would you be intimidated if the Bengals drafted you? I would imagine walking into the locker room that first day would be like the first day new inmates stroll into Shawshank. I got five cigarettes that Leon cries his first night. "You don't understand! I'm not supposed to be here!" "Fresh FISH! Fresh FISH! Fresh FISH!"

19 Tennessee FS Griffin, Michael
You know who is going to suck this year? The Titans. Madden Curse aside, there is just no way they repeat what they did next year. Just now way. Pacman made all kinds of plays for them - on defense and especially on special teams - and he is gone. Their offense sucks. Name one wide receiver on their roster. Go ahead, I got all kinds of time. And that Chris Brown/LenDale White backfield isn't scaring anyone. They'll be drafting in the top 5 next year.

20 N.Y. Giants CB Ross, Aaron
The Giants...just...I just can't make myself care. I don't care about them. Moving on.

21 Jacksonville (from Denver) FS Nelson, Reggie
You gotta feel good when you can trade back and still get the guy you want. Who's in charge of that in Jacksonville? Why not to screw that up.

22 Cleveland (from Dallas) QB Quinn, Brady
Did they give up too much? I don't think so. They basically just drafted their first round pick a year early. They get to get him in their system a year sooner, they get to pay him a lot freakin' less and their fan base absolutely adores them right now. Let's just hope he doesn't blow.

And all this nonsense about Brady disappearing into Goodell's Green Room somehow foreshadowing his career is ludicrous. You really think Brady had any choice in the matter? What Goodell says is law. The NFL didn't want all the attention focused on the guy NOT getting drafted when there was so much else to celebrate. It was a great move by the League. Brady handled himself flawlessly during the actual draft, even though he shamelessley promoted himself before it.

23 Kansas City WR Bowe, Dwayne
Bravo, KC. See a need, fill it. Who knows if he was the best WR prospect, but KC did the right thing. I am way too excited about that.

24 New England (from Seattle) FS Meriweather, Brandon
Hey, the gun fight was legal. Back off! And we all know that you don't come into the OB like that! Belichik does revel in a little bit of a degree of difficulty, though, doesn't he?

25 Carolina (from N.Y. Jets) OLB Beason, Jon
Keyshawn was phenomenal during the draft. I cannot wait until he retires so he can do this. He is infinitely better than Tiki Barber. There is no awkward pauses or ever saying to yourself, "yea..well...I know what he was trying to say." I can't say it enough. I am very, very excited for the Keyshawn Johnson era.

26 Dallas (from Philadelphia) DE Spencer, Anthony
Wonder how high that No. 1 will be next year. Does Mel have his 2008 mock draft up yet?

27 New Orleans WR Meachem, Robert
Screw offense. No seriously, we don't care. We are going to try to score every time we touch it. Think you can keep up? We shall see, we shall see...

28 San Francisco (from New England) OT Staley, Joe
Gave up next year's No. 1 to get him, but got one back...probably later in the draft, but still. Trading that No. 1 though means the Niners think they are winning this division. And you know what? That is exciting as all hell. Much like the Browns, the Niners had a plan and did what they had to do to execute it. You can't ask for more than that.

29 Baltimore G Grubbs, Ben
Um, some bullshit about opening up holes for the newly acquired Willis McGahee. They still can't pass for shit. Next.

30 San Diego WR Davis, Craig
Go read KC's pick.

31 Chicago TE Olsen, Greg
I had no idea he was in The Seventh Floor Crew! That is flooring. Him and Sexy are going to terrorize Chicago.

32 Indianapolis WR Gonzalez, Anthony
Ohio St. got two WRs in Round 1; USC got 0. Check back in three years to see how that works out. And while we are here: who has a better receiving corps: Harrison, Wayne, Gonzalez or Moss, Stallworth, Welker and Co.? It is debatable, isn't it?

Why I Love Kobe vs. The Suns So Much

2007-04-30T22:34:00.000-04:00

For whatever reason, Kobe Bryant killing himself against the Suns is the most fascinating thing in basketball right now, as far as I'm concerned. Everyone knows how it is going to end - even Kobe - but I just can't peel me eyes away.

I was trying to think of a way to intelligently articulate why I feel this way, and then I came across this clip, which I also found oddly enthralling, and realized that they are the exact same thing:

Kobe puts up a tremendous effort there, doesn't he? Sadly, we all know how that was going to end. Put you couldn't look away, could you?

So, How Did Those Expert Mock Drafters Do?

2007-04-30T20:37:00.000-04:00

Well, I don't really know. OK, I guess. Depends what your standards are; personally, I think if you devote your year - or, um, your life - to something, you should get at least a 50% return. But that's just me.

If you are using, say, batting average as your standard, the fellas did pretty well (minus one glaring exception). I think guessing who a team is going to pick - in just the first round - is slightly harder than hitting a professional curve ball, but I could be wrong. Doubt it, but I could be.

To see whom Mel, Todd, Pete and Rick thought were the correct first round picks in nice, neat little side by side columns (plus some yahoo blogger's), click here.

So who did the best?

As far as matching the pick with the correct player at the correct spot in the draft (like, say, Russel, at No. 1, to the Raiders; sounds like Clue) Mel did the best. He perfectly nailed the trifecta on 10 picks, not quite a third of the picks correct. (Start, All Programs, Accessories, Calculator informs me that Mel got 31.25% correct.)

Todd and Rick were right on his heels, correctly identifying 9. Somehow, I guessed 7. Peter King, however, got just 3 right. Three. Out of 32. I am not entirely sure how that is possible. He does cover football for a living, after all. Keep in the back of your mind: this is the beginning of a pattern.

If we are being a little more generous, and just matching player to team, the scores go up a little bit: Todd jumps into the lead with 11 overall (Jarvis Moss, Reggie Nelson) and Rick ties Mel at 10 (Jarvis Moss). Unbelievably, I also jumped up to 10 correct picks (Quinn, Moss, Nelson) to tie Mel (who didn't get any bonus points).

Peter gets credit for Brady Quinn to the Browns at 22, bringing his first round total up to four. He talks to people that know about this stuff on the phone, right? He is always saying he is. Again, the fact that the most read football writer on the planet could only guess four right astounds me. I still am not sure what to make of this...maybe that during all those intimate, 45-minute phone conversations he says he is having, he is being like to for 45-straight minutes. By everyone. That's all I can come up with.

Or he is chewing so damn loud he can't hear whatever they're saying. Kellogg's should get him to fill in for that guy who is eating the crunchy cereal and can't hear shit but somehow keeps getting a raise.

Everyone did a pretty good job of identifying those going in the first round. Mel missed 4, Todd 3, Peter 4 (of course) and Rick missed 3. David Harris, Alan Branch, and Chris Houston screwed everyone over, pretty much, and Paul Posluszny was confusing for some people as well.

Who missed most egregiously? Mel had David Harris going 12th to the Bills and he lasted all the way to the 57 picks. He was only off by (hang on...start, all programs, accessories, calculator....) 45 spots. What is that saying about horse shoes and hand grenades? Everyone had him going pretty high, though; Mel just happened to have him going the highest. Still, he screwed up the worst. Such is mocking, I suppose.

To be fair, Mel did nail the first seven picks, in order. No one else did that, so props to The Hair. No wonder he had that shitty grin plastered on his mug for the first hour and a half of the draft. Couldn't have lasted too long, though. He got only 3 of the next 25.

The worst pick of the draft goes to Rick Gosselin, who proclaimed that Amobi Okoye was destined to fall to the Chiefs at 23. Points for word association, though. ("Rick, say the first word that comes to mind: Kansas City Chiefs?" "Okoye!")

The worst picks of the draft? Peter King, in a landslide.

I will admit freely that there are terrific football writers out there that I am not aware of. Hey, I wish I knew them (and if you have any suggestions, I am all ears). I was only made aware of Gosselin recently, and I gather that is one of the most respected writers in the biz. So I am not the most informed kid on the block. But Peter King is the NFL writer, right? He is more widely read and his opinion (on football, not The Sopranos or colonoscopies or double-mocha lattes) is given more credence that anyone else, right? On the national scene, at least?

If any of that is even close to being true, how can he only get the first two right (which were basically written in stone) get the fourth right (carved in wood) and then just take the rest of the draft off? Why even do a mock draft if you have no idea what the hell you are talking about? Why tarnish your credibility like that? Why not just write a column about all the GMs you talked to and their tone of voice during said conversation, make a list of people you want to cheer for, and compare every team to a different piece of food on a buffet?

Hell, just write what you think teams should do. That might even be interesting.

He seems like one of those Wilbon-type guys who think the draft gets waaay too much play and that the coverage is excessive, etc. If he abstained from doing a mock, I don't think he'd catch too much flak. And if he did, a simple "Hey, I write about people currently getting paid" would quell most complaints, I think.

But he posted his mock draft, even had it as the lead story on SI.com. And he got three (or four) right. And if you look closely, he screwed it up even worse than you'd think.

Besides the obvious 1st, 2nd and 4th picks, there were five picks that Kiper, McShay and Gosselin all agreed on: Thomas to the Browns, Landry to the Skins, Willis to the Niners, Timmons to Pittsburgh and Grubb to Baltimore. These were essentially locks; Anytime those three picked the same guy, that's who was actually picked. Money in the bank.

King went the other way on all five of them. Of course he did.

And not even a mention of this catastrophe in his MMQB column. I just don't get it, Peter.

Enough of Peter: are the rest of these guys worth having around? I mean, I never would have come close to getting 10 right if they weren't there listing the highest rated players. So they are good for that, which is something.

But they got 10 right. Just 10. That ain't good. They are good for something to base your own mock draft on, and give you an idea of who is going to go where, but when it comes to bottom lines results, it isn't worth your time reading them. It just isn't. No one got more than a third correct.

My question is this: shouldn't someone ask them about this? Why do they get to perform miserably and then "give their grades" for the next week? Why doesn't someone give them grades? Like, say, some random blogger?

Mel Kiper: F+

Todd McShay: F

Rick Gosselin: F-

Point 23: G-

Peter King: Z------------------------------------

(Aside from making his predictions, which were as good as anyones, I loved Todd McShay. He may not have always been right - I think he was most of the time, for whatever that is worth - but he always gives two or three rational reasons for why he felt the way he did. I don't think you can ask for much more than that from any analyst. Plus, he never just screams at me, which is awesome. He's the best. Is there anyway we can get him to replace Stink on NFL Live? Or Mark May?)

Patriots get Randy Moss for a Ham Sammich.

2007-04-30T18:09:00.000-04:00

I am incredulous - incredulous! - that anyone at all is even questioning the Pats decision to acquire Randy Moss. Here is all that any talking head should be saying:

"The best team in football just acquired possibly the most dangerous weapon in the entire sport for no risk at all. NONE. They have a very real shot at helping push Nick Buoniconti into an early grave by not losing a single game all year. Anything less than a blowout Super Bowl win will be seen as a colossal failure. This is one of the great acquirements of all time, let alone in the cap era. Bravo, New England. Bravo."

(What do you think JaMarcus Russell is thinking right now? Probably something close to "Oh shit. No, really: Oh shit." And do the Raiders have the worst receivers in the league? They are stuck with a man who actively tried to submarine his franchise's entire season, the worst North Carolina point guard I have been alive for and then traded for the definitive face of the biggest WR-corps bust of all-time in Mike Williams. All behind one of the most porous o-lines in the National Football League. JaMarcus is jealous of Brady Quinn. No joke. Good thing he can sling it 60 yards from his ass; it'll come in handy.)

There are two issues, I guess, people have taken exception with: 1) He is a team cancer who causes teams to lose and destroys locker rooms and/or 2) He has lost a step and is not nearly the weapon he used to be.

Now.

Let's deal with the second part first. Has he lost a step? I mean, maybe, this will be his 10th year in the NFL. But Keyshawn Johnson told me he ran a 4.29 forty the other day, and Keyshawn has never lied to me before. 4.29? Are you kidding me? I don't know what he was running a decade ago, but it can't have been much faster, tenths of seconds at the most. The dude can still run like a gazelle on 'roids. And it's not like he will go down as the greatest route runner of all time; he relied on his speed. And the man still has it.

Plus, he hasn't done shit the last two years. Nada. You know what Randy has been dong for the last two years, besides working at his juice stand? I'll tell you:

Let's just say the man is well rested. He'll be good to go.

Onto the more serious concern: The team cancer thing, which, at least to me, is ridiculous.

From all accounts, Moss has become increasingly concerned about his legacy, and to him, the only way to ensure a proper legacy in the NFL is to win a title. (Hey, smart guy.) He could have gone to different teams, but he took less money and would only go to the Patriots. This seems to me like he is taking this thing rather serious, yes?

He is going into this thing dying to make it work. And whatever problems he has been attached to in the past are directly tied to his team not winning. (Well, except for nearly running over that traffic cop. But she had it coming!*)

He just seems to react poorly to losing. Not much chance of that happening in New England.

Plus, he knows that if he does something dumb, he's gone. The Patriots don't screw around with that shit. They have already upgraded their WR unit; they don't really need him. He knows this, too.

I remember reading Education of a Coach, the late David Halberstam's great book on Bill Belichik, and reading about The Genius when he was an assistant under Parcells. He decided then and there that no player was worth the trouble the Lawrence Taylor was to those Giants, even at the cost of winning a Super Bowl. If Moss acts up, he's toast, and Moss s very, very aware of this.

He'll behave. Please believe.

Look, the upside is through the roof, which no downside what to speak of. They paired the best quarterback in football with the best receiver. Yes, the best. How many times has the ever happened in the history of football? Like, once? Montana and Rice seemed to do OK.

Brady made Reche Caldwell and Jabar Gaffney look like freakin' Pro Bowlers. What do you think he'll do with Moss? Put it this way: if the over/under on Randy's season stats was 1300 yards and 15 TDs, would you feel more comfortable with the over or under?

The real questions here are: 1) Do the Patriots have a chance to go undefeated considering their ridiculous off-season? and 2) Who has a better WR corps: the Patriots or the Colts?

The Patriots are the prohibitive favorites to win the Super Bowl, Nick Buoniconti has put his order of champagne from Sam's Club on hold and no fantasy draft will last one round without Brady and Moss being snatched off the board.

Bravo, New England, Bravo.

*I'm kidding. I have no idea what happened there. Indefensible, really. Point 23 in no way condones or promotes the vehicular abuse of officers of the law. Really.

Live Blog: Denver vs. San Antonio Spurs - Round 1, Game 3

2007-04-28T19:38:00.000-04:00

The live blog of Denver and San Antonio will kick off as soon as the Cavs/Wiz game ends. The Cavs are, predictably, in a dog fight with the most severely undermanned team in the post season. So we will get to the Game of the Night as soon as Cleveland finds a way to dispatch of a team who doesn't have its two All-Stars.

Sadly, the game is on ESPN. The drop off from TNT to ESPN is so steep; it is almost like you are watching two different sports. TNT needs to step its game up next year and acquire every single game.

At the very least, that 40 games in 40 nights thing is a little misleading. If you are going to say that, I want at least one game every night. Noah didn't get to take weekends off, did he?

Anyways, live blogging will commence after the jump (nope, still not old) as soon as The LeBrons wrap up Game 3. See you then.

Thoughts? Predictions? Proclamations?

I think the Nuggets will win, I predict a breakout playoff game for JR Smith and I proclaim the winner of this series in the NBA Finals. Word.

Alright, let's get things crackin'. Cleveland goes up 3-0 on Washington (what absolute professionals; they just handled their business, didn't they?) due to Washington falling over a lot and Sasha Pavlovic making up for fouling a three point shooter and a shot clock violation on simultaneous possessions by drilling a dagger three from the corner to push it to two possessions. I'll take it, I guess.

First play I see is Melo draining a 3. Good start, good start. 11-8, Nugs. And Nene with a jumper forces SA to burn a TO.

Cripes, I go from Doug Collins - calm, understated, rational, logical - to Bill Walton - hyper, over the top, irrational, illogical, insane. This is like jumping straight from the whirlpool into the regular pool. I was just not ready for it; I may have a heart attack.

As far as I can tell, it is just Mark Whatshisname and Walton. Who's bright idea was this? Where the hell is Jon Barry? Mark can't keep Walton in check! He is going to be running wild with irrational comments and observations. What do you think Mark thought when he saw his assignment? "Uh, guys? It says here it is just me and Bill...that can't be right! Guys? Guys?!?!"

Melo goes up top and flushes an alley oop. Man, he really went up and got that. Every time Melo gets up, it catches me off guard. He's got some sneaky hops.

Ah, Parker with back to back baskets. Son of a bitch. The Nugs just can't keep him out of the paint. This is going to be a problem.

Iverson finally gets on the board with a nice little pull up. Why doesn't he do his cross over anymore? It is either just a hesitation move or a slower version of it. Baron Davis needs to give it back.

JR with a nice finish at the rim. I don't mean to say I told you so, but...I freakin' told you so. SA has Bruce Bowen guarding JR, so he may want to watch his ankles on any jump shots...you know, because JR is the dirtiest, slimiest prick in the NBA and all.

George Karl picks up a T for standing outside the coaches box. Good God, fellas, I think Melos jersey is slightly untucked in the back, might wanna ring him up, too.

Freakin Parker scores again. This is going to be a problem.

JR! Hell of an athletic finish off an alley oop. Some recurring themes are developing: Parker being a problem and JR Smith finishing at the rim. SA hits back to back shot clock expiring 3s to make it 25-22, Nugs at the half.

Mark takes us to the break with this gem: "Its turning into a Melo man march!" This commercial break can't be long enough.

I can't believe Jacque Vaughn is getting time for the potential World Champs. I remember being at the game where they lost to UTEP in the first round of the NCAA tourney in Dayton. I think that was Vaughn's team...

JR is attacking the rim like he's mad at it. What a great, random call by me. *Pats self on back.

Kleiza finds Nene under the rim...I'd like to nominate Kleiza as the worst player left in the playoffs. I'm willing to listen to arguments, though. I just don't see what he brings to the table. He runs around jacking bad shots, never, ever making them and not guarding anybody. What's the point, really?

Iverson misses a short fadeaway. As he's running down court, you can hear him scream, "He hit me in ma face!"C'mon AI, you couldn't have thrown the F word in there for me? That's too much to ask?

Mark Jones takes us to commercial. I have no idea what the score is.

Timmay misses back to back shots...he hasn't done a damn thing so far, at least from what I've seen - he may have scored 8 straight to open the game and I wouldn't know.

Iverson.....and one! And AI gets to the line for the first time in over 5 quarters. I'm surprised he made it, thought he might have forgotten what to do there.

And Parker scores in the paint again. I can't even blame Steve Blake because he isn't in...the Nuggets have no answer for him. He gets in there at will. Thank God SA doesn't seem interested in doing that every time down the court, because I really don't think it would be much of a problem.

They'd rather throw it into a doubled-team Duncan all the time, who isn't handling them all that well...cept for that time where he finds an open Mike Finley for 3. Spurs up 1, 34-33. Duncan throws it into the back court trying to beat a double team. Pop should try live-blogging the game, he might notice these things.

Walton: "Camby is a more statistical defender than Duncan." In fact, Duncan doesn't even get stats for his offense either. Here is his line for the series:

0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0

Thanks, Bill.

Bruce Bowen: "I hope we can tally up all my runner up defensive player of the year awards." While we are at it, let's tally up all the ankles you've sprained by sliding your foot on purpose under a jump shooters foot, you dirty prick.

Mark Jones: "Something up about playing in this altitude really turns Manu on." Thanks, Mark. No, really, I needed reminded of that commercial where Parker and Ginobili are having phone sex with each other but they don't know it. "Man-ew?" "To-neeee?"

Melo drills a corner J, he has 14. Denver within 1. Make that down 3, The Dirty Prick scores in the lane. This game is really disjointed; no flow. SA has to be loving it. Duncan gets away with a charge, SA up 5. Denver has no home court advantage. It is oddly quiet. It just sounds like there is a strong breeze in the arena. Denver fans better wake the hell up.

Walton says Bowen is an "analytical" defender. Camby is a "statistical" defender. Blake is a "non-existant" defender. I may have added that last one.

Finley misses a drive and kick three; Duncan misses 97 putbacks in a row to end the half. Here come's the obligatory awkward Jim Gray interview. Lucky Tony Parker. That is one thing ESPN rivals TNT with: cover-your-face sideline interviewers. Craig Sager wins Emmies, though, so I guess he has been awarded for his awkwardness. Tough break, Jim Gray.

Close game at the half - 2, 3 points. No flow. Low scoring. No energy in the building. Why the hell is this game so flat? First 5 minutes will set the tone for the rest of the game. Here's my prediction: whoever wins the first 5 minutes wins the game. Jot it down. I am going to pound some coffee; hopefully, Denver and SA are, too.

Iverson is getting aggressive - he drills a 3 from the top of the key to bring Denver within one, then comes right back down for one of his patented high arcers off the glass, only Elson jumps to like the top of the freakin backboard and pins the hell out of it starting a SA fastbreak where Parker, of course, gets into the paint only to have Camby come out of nowhere for the pin - he got a stat for it, too - which triggered a Denver fast break, leading to a Nene blown lay up in traffic.

In other words: FINALLY. Things are starting to pick up, hopefully it only escalates from here. Denver seems to me to be the prototypical second half team. Thank God.

Hey, where the hell is JR? Haven't seen him yet this half.

Has Bruce Bowen ever committed a foul? Ever? He is hands down the dirtiest player in the NBA, and yet he is baffled every time he gets rung up. He just picked up a foul on Iverson, switched over to Melo, and Melo got one on him. We got the see the perplexed Bowen face after each one. Watch your ankles on those Js, fellas. Bowen won't stand for this much longer. Nugs still down 2.

The Nuggets are very, very bad at defensive rotations. They give up waaaay too many open Js.

"The poor man's Iverson" (?!?!) knocks down a three to cut SA's lead to one, but Duncan answers over Nene.

Melo throws Bowen to the ground as Camby knocks down a pull up. Things are about to get heated between those two. Blake finds Nene with a sweet dime in transition, but the Big Fundamental draws No. 3 on Nene. He just bores you to death, doesn't he? He makes both to give the Spurs a 1 point lead.

Iverson just shook the shit out of Manu. Manu got matched up on him in transition and you could see Manu's terror from the couch. AI will be at the line for 2 when we come back.

Uh oh. AI is getting it going. Nice little baseline J. Mark May lets us know he as 5% body fat. So basically he is all bone, notoriously hates weightlifting, gets the hell beat out of him on a regular basis, and is still one of the most durable athletes of the generation. Might not see another one like him for quite some time.

Oh, what the hell: Denver comes up with a steal, and somehow AI and JR lay heaped in a pile while Finley sticks another three. I am shaking my head in disbelief. SA has somehow opened up a 8 point lead...but JR Smith in transition with a chance at a three point play! I may have gotten everything else wrong, but I nailed this JR pick. Feels good, feels real good. JR cuts the lead to 5. 30 seconds left in the third.

Horry hits a wide open three because Denver is terrible, awful, horrendous at rotating and a Nene two at the buzzer is waived off. Denver up 8 heading into the third. Where the hell is that Denver run at? They better come up with one soon...

JR just rakes Manu from behind and gets hit with a flagrant foul. Walton is rambling on and on about how it isn't right that Manu gets hit so hard from the Nuggets...it is the freakin' playoffs. I wonder how Bill feels about the Pistons beating the hell out of Jordan all those years or a million other examples of hard playoff fouls. The NBA is turning into a bunch of soccer moms with the way they assess techs and flagrants and intentionals. Maybe after the season, all the players can get Participation Ceritificates, too. And ice cream!

Mark May: "It is not unusual for Denver to struggle at home." I am thinking that their ghost-like fan base may have something to do with that.

Denver is cold as ice, down 10, little over 9 to go. They need to get something going now. I can't begin to tell you how appalled I am with this fan base. I think we are going to need "Cheer Now" signs for Game 4.

Hey, did you know Tony Parker was getting married? Me either! Nice girl? Awwe, good for them!

Walton mentions another little known tidbit: Najera is the only Hispanic playing in the NBA. Yes, but a truly glorious day will be when we don't have to acknowledge such milestones.

For some unknown reason, Tony Parker is not playing. Finley buries another fucking three. What the hell, Denver. Melo follows his own miss with a tip dunk and the crownd yawns its approval. You guys know your paid admission allows you to cheer, right?

Now Nene with a tip! Nugs within 7. I think they are going to put Parker and Manu back in. Just when I thought there was a chance...

Poor Man's AI hits a toe-on-the-line 2 to cut the lead to 5. Get behind the line, Poor Man's AI! With a chance to cut the lead to 3, Duncan draws a charge on a driving Melo, even though Duncan bailed on it like a total skirt. Hey, Tony Parker just scored in the paint. Stunner, really.

Parker in the paint again. I have nothing to say. I am speechless. I am without speech.

Iverson drives, SA has like three guys there. Tony Parker drives and like three guys watch him shoot five footers. And I'm glad Tim Duncan was worried about the refs screwing with him, because he is getting away with all kinds of shit they'd ring Nene up for in a heart beat.

Holy shit. Sit down. Are you ready for this? The Nuggets just forced a shot clock violation. Melo wastes it with a forced 1 on 1 shot.

Wow. What a bail out on Manu. That was unreal. No one touched him. He jumped in the air, passed, no one touched him, and they put him at the line for 2. No wonder JR jacked him, getting calls like that. Nugs down 7.

Duncan just blindsided Nene, no call. Really, the Nugs have a legit gripe about the refs.

Wild sequence lead to a Nene lay up. This is the kind of atmosphere where you just want to jack someone. Atmosphere crazy, refs doing a lousy job controlling the game, playing against some one annoying as hell. Better make sure JR doesn't get in.

Iverson goes baseline and finds Nene who is just furious with the rim. Lead to 5.

You aren't going to believe this, but Tony Parker just scored in the paint. I know, I know, they do what you least expect.

Lead to 7. 1:04. Camby at the line to cut it to 5. Need both to make this finish remotely exciting. The Defensive Player of the Year rattles home both, lead to 5. Full court pressure from the Nugs.

And Robert Horry hits a ridiculous one dribble, fade away, why-the-fuck-not? jumper with 2 on the shot clock. Ha. That's all I got.

JR Smith dunks with 40 seconds to cut it to 5, Denver elects not to foul - Walton, along with the rest of non-comatose America, is "dazed and confused." (Did you know Wooden used to let Walton get high in his dorm and hotel room after games? Yep, read "Breaks of the Game." Its all in there. Of course, that was the one UCLA team that didn't win it all, so the lesson here is, drugs ruin everything. Unless you play football; then you can be a top 10 pick.)

Bowen misses a three; Denver gets a quick put back and then Denver takes forever to foul again. 4.5 left. Lead is three, but Manu - the hated Manu - is at the line. He makes the first, makes the second. Blake airballs a meaningless layups. Spurs win by 5.

What a flat, luckluster and disappointing performance from the Nugs. Their fans were pretty worthless, too. The entire city of Denver should be embarrassed with itself.

If they don't do better than that in Game 4, this series is a wrap.

Keeping Tabs on the Best Mock Drafters in the World and One Guesser.

2007-04-28T09:38:00.000-04:00

***Read the live draft after the jump. Yes, after the jump. I enjoy saying that much more than you enjoy reading it. But yea: live blog after the jump.***

Here are the final mock drafts of, as far as I can tell, the four preeminent mock drafters in all of the world.

Are they worth having around? Well, we are about to find out. For whatever it is worth, I found myself aligning more with Todd McShay that anyone else. I'm sure Todd is thrilled.

Any thoughts or reactions throughout the day can be found after the jump. (Honestly, I am ecstatic that I got too type "after the jump." Giddy.) So when the Vikings miss their pick again, or Mel Kiper wears those preposterous dark sunglasses inside or Chris Berman tips another freakin' pick, it'll all be after the jump. (Again, just wanted to type that. I'll stop eventually. Maybe.)

Mel Kiper, Jr.	Todd McShay	Peter King	Rick Gosselin	Point 23
JaMarcus Russell	JaMarcus Russell	JaMarcus Russell	JaMarcus Russell	JaMarcus Russell
Calvin Johnson	Calvin Johnson	Calvin Johnson	Calvin Johnson	Calvin Johnson
Joe Thomas	Joe Thomas	Brady Quinn	Joe Thomas	Brady Quinn
Gaines Adams	Gaines Adams	Gaines Adams	Gaines Adams	Gaines Adams
Levi Brown	Adrian Peterson	Joe Thomas (to MIA)	Adrian Peterson	Joe Thomas
LaRon Landry	LaRon Landry	Amobi Okoye	LaRon Landry	Amobi Okoye
Adrian Peterson	Brady Quinn	LaRon Landry	Leon Hall	Adrian Peterson
Amobi Okoye	Levi Brown	Adrian Peterson	Levi Brown	LaRon Landry
Brady Quinn	Darelle Revis	Levi Brown (to ARZ)	Brady Quinn	Levi Brown
Leon Hall	Amobi Akoye	Patrick Willis	Darelle Revis	Leon Hall
Patrick Willis	Patrick Willis	Alan Branch	Patrick Willis	Patrick Willis
David Harris	Leon Hall	Paul Posluszny	Marshawn Lynch	Alan Branch
Jamaal Anderson	Jamaal Anderson	Leon Hall	Adam Carriker	Jamaal Anderson
Reggie Nelson	Adam Carriker	Adam Carriker	Jamaal Anderson	Adam Carriker
Lawrence Timmons	Lawrence Timmons	Darrelle Revis	Lawrence Timmons	Lawrence Timmons
Marshawn Lynch	Marshawn Lynch	Ted Ginn Jr.	Robert Meachem	Marshawn Lynch
Adam Carriker	Reggie Nelson	Jamaal Anderson	Ted Ginn, Jr.	Reggie Nelson
Darrelle Revis	Alan Branch	Aaron Ross	Reggie Nelson	Darrelle Revis
Ted Ginn Jr.	Ted Ginn Jr.	Robert Meachem	Dwyane Bowe	Tedd Ginn Jr
Joe Staley	Joe Staley	Lawrence Timmons	Joe Staley	Joe Staley
Alan Branch	Jarvis Moss	Jon Beason	Jarvis Moss	Jarvis Moss
Aaron Ross	Dwyane Bowe	Chris Houston	Aaron Ross	Dwyane Bowe
Justin Harrell	Justin Harrell	Marshawn Lynch	Amobi Okoye	Robert Meachem
Robert Meachem	Aaron Ross	Jarvis Moss (to WAS)	David Harris	Michael Griffin
Greg Olson	Anthony Spencer	Greg Olson	Greg Olson	Greg Olson
Brandon Meriweather	Brandon Meriweather	Brandon Meriweather	Paul Posluszny	Brandon Meriweather
Chris Houston	Greg Olson	Reggie Nelson	Justin Harrell	Aaron Ross
Paul Posluszny	David Harris	Michael Griffin	Brandon Meriweather	David Harris
Ben Grubbs	Ben Grubbs	Tony Ugoh	Ben Grubbs	Ben Grubbs
Dwyane Bowe	Robert Meachem	Dwyane Bowe	Jon Beasley	Dwyane Jarrett
Anthony Spencer	Jon Beason	Justin Harrell	Dwyane Jarrett	Anthony Spencer
Jon Beason	Paul Posluszny	Joe Staley	Michael Griffin	Jon Beason

Expectations and some questions heading into the draft after the jump. (Had to say it one more time.) And the live blog. After the jump.

What do I want the Niners to do? Draft Patrick Willis at No. 11 and then grab Sidney Rice in Round 2. That would make me happy.

I want the Lions to draft Calvin Johnson. I'm sure it will all work out in the end - he's just that good - but the look on his face when he sees he has been drafted by The Team Where WRs go to Die should be riveting.

Why wouldn't the Lions draft Brady Quinn? Don't you need a really smart QB in that Mike Martz offense? Although the biggest knock I've read on Quinn has been his accuracy, and I'm guessing you have to be pretty on point in that offense.

I don't care where they pick after a trade or whatever, but if the Cardinals do not draft an offensive lineman, they are being completely irresponsible and Ken Whisenhunt is drafting without ever watching that team play a snap. Edge is still a professional running back; he was just running behind the most porous offensive line in the league. If Joe Thomas isn't there, then you draft Levi Brown. Those are your only two options.

Other teams with HUGE holes that must be filled at the risk of incompetence: San Diego has to draft a first round wide receiver, Atlanta better find a way to get a decent pass catcher, too (you are investing all that green in Mike Vick and you give him no one to throw to; no wonder he'd rather watch pitbulls fight); and the Saints have to draft a corner back. They would have been in the Super Bowl last year if they had even a marginal guy knocking down passes on the perimeter.

Teams picks I can't wait for: Cleveland Browns (Quinn?), Minnesoata Vikings (Dare they pass on Quinn if he is there?) and the Patriots (What are they going to do with those two picks?)

12:00 I love ESPN's pre-draft intro. Like anyone's war room is anything like that. People shuffling papers and screaming on the phone like madmen. Well, maybe the Vikings. And I love how ESPN shows them listening to Mel Kiper, like any GM or coach gives a flying f--- what Mel Kiper has to say.

12:10 The Raiders are on the clock! They had months to come up with a decision, now they had 15 minutes to scramble like lunatics. I love how they are still trying to make trades...I thought I was bad handing my homework in at the last minute back in the day. This is ridiculous. They should use exactly 10 seconds of their alotted time to make their pick.

For what i's worth, JaMarcuss Russell is one cool customer. Never gets riled up; low, baritone voice; short, mysterious answers...I feel like he should be in a Quentin Tarantino movie beating the shit outta dudes and them muttering one-liners as he walks away. That should count for something on draft day, I think.

Aaaaaand he can gun it 64 yards from one knee. He can do a Powerade commercial without any of the special effects.

I think I'm with Steve Young. Take Calvin Johnson and then grab either Beck or Edwards at the top of the second round. If I remember correctly, the Chargers traded down in 2001, drafted LaDanian Tomlinson instead of Mike Vick, and then grabbed Drew Brees at the top of the 2nd. That worked out pretty well, I think.

When Keyshawn Johnson looks at Calvin Johnson, he sees a combo of himself and TO. Of course he does.

Goodell: "OK, Raiders fans..." And JaMarcuss Russell it is. I'm glad we waited three months for nothing exciting to happen. The Lions better blow this next pick or I am going to be furious.

Mel is saying that in 5 years, JaMarcuss could be blah, blah, blah. I can't take him serious after they showed him talking after Ryan Leaf got picked: "In 5 years, we will look back and say San Diego didn't give up enough to get him." Good one, Mel.

12:26 Calvin Johnson is giggling like a loon right now after hanging up the phone. Either his uncle is hilarious, or he just got drafted by the Lions.

Here's what I don't get: everyone says the Lions can't take a WR because they keep screwing the pooch on these WR picks. Well, isn't that the exact same reason they should take him? Because they have crappy WRs? Except for the awesome Roy Williams. Dude's a stud.

Who are these random yahoos walking across the stage? Go behind the partition, intern. You're fired.

Yep, Calvin Johnson at No. 2. And the Lion fans are loving it. Man, they are going ballistic. That's a hell of a young receiving corps they have now...is Mike Williams just a lost cause? Why does he suck? Could he be good as a No. 3 or No. 4 WR?

I think I can see Mike Martz' boner from here.

Good point by Mel: it is worth noting that in the past two years, the Lions have passed on Matt Leinart, Jay Cutler and now Brady Quinn.

ESPN needs to quit going to Mort for player analysis. If a trade breaks, let me hear Mort. But he is making some really stupid statement and completely deferring to Keyshawn. Why does he get to sit at the big boy desk? I want McShay!

By the way, me and the rest of the mock drafters are 2 for 2 right now. I have a feeling that percentage is about to plummet, however.

Steve Spurrier just said "Yea, yea...click, clack." The last two times I have heard from him have been an eloquent explanation of why the Confederate flag should be done away with and Click Clack and I'm just not really sure what to make of that.

12:32 Browns are on the clock. Steve Young wants the Browns to make a statement, damnit!

And the Browns do not make that statement. Joe Thomas' reaction can be seen on NFL Network, but that is like three buttons to press, and really, he isn't gonna be all the exciting, Screw it.

How much does Brady Quinn hate Joe Thomas right now? Not only did he go to Brady's hometown team, but his little fishing expedition means ESPN shows his reaction to not getting picked. He did a good job pretending like he didn't want to cry, even throwing in a solid chuckle when the crowd starting chanting "Cleveland sucks! Cleveland sucks!"

12:43 Why the hell wouldn't the Bucs take Brady Quinn here? Their quarterback last season was atrocious...I mean, they did add Jeff Garcia, but my God, I think you gotta pick Quinn here. If anything else, it will give NFL Network more films of Gruden just verbally destroying a young quarterback as they pathetically struggle to spit out a 10 line play call.

I'll say it for the last time: Mort free lancing about players is a bad idea. Not a good idea. Let's not do it anymore.

Me and Peter King have been eliminated from a perfect Mock Draft. Peter King screwed this up? I can't believe it. Really, I'm shocked.

Keyshawn: "When Jake (Delhomme) went down last year, we were stuck with nothing." I'm guessing Key and Chris Weinke aren't going to be inviting eachother over for barbecues, then.

Who was Brady Quinn's speech coach? He should get a raise. Brady has the perfect, upbeat, PR answer for every conceivable question. Well done, sir, well done.

This is getting stale. Someone make a trade. Please.

Gaines Adams it is. Wasn't this draft supposed to be volatile and unpredicatable and crazy and fun? This is boring as shit. Everyone except me and Peter King knew this was going to happen. I guess I will just have to revel in the plummeting Brady Quinn. I guess.

12:53 Arizona is on the clock. Either trade down and take Levi Brown or just draft him here. You have to take an o-lineman here. No arguments. I mean, c'mon Sean Salisbury agrees with me, for God's sake. If that isn't a stamp of approval, I don't know what is. And Michael Smith. Case closed.

Mark May makes no sense. He says it is too high right now to take Brown, but they could do it at 11 or 12. Why the hell does that make any sense? They have a glaring need, the guy was their highest rating at that position, if they don't take him he will get snatched up within the next three picks. This is why Mark May, among other reasons, is illogical. I do not care for him. No, sir, I do not.

Yes! I was right! You're an idiot, Mark May.

1:01 Skins are on the clock. I hope they draft Amobi Okoye, just so Tom Reinaldi can do that sob story on him again. Why is he Tom Reinaldo always so sad? Every story he does is depressing; Okoye is an uplifting, neat, exciting story and he made it sound like a ten care pileup in which several orphans were killed. He should drink some coffee or something.

I love how Kornheiser gets to provide no real analysis, even on his hometown team. Just go take a nap, Tony. We'll wake you Monday for PTI.

Maybe if Brady Quinn got a haircut, he'd get drafted.

Boomer: "They are gonna sing Hail to the Redskins and draft a guy named Landry?" Berman just lives for that kind of shit, doesn't he? Drive me frickin' nuts.

And Landry it is. I don't know what is worse, my bracket or my mock draft. Shambles, I tell you, shambles.

1:16 Miami is on the clock. You have to take Quinn. Running backs come and go in this league. Your QB situation was atrocious last year. Whatever the hell that dudes name was that came in at the end of last year - Taverus Jackson or whatever - was god-awful against the Packers. He ain't no good. Get Brady Quinn, Minny. Hell, just get your pick in on time. And no, I will never let that go.

I like how we have to interview these guys in the Green Room like they are in the waiting room with their entire families on their death beds. They have to wait 15 or 30 more minutes to make millions of dollars, have endless groupie sex (and if they get picked by the Vikings, on a boat!) be a public darling and live a charmed life for the foreseeable future. I think they are going to be OK.

And is it just me, or is Suzy Kolber a little giddy around Brady Quinn? That forced laugh seems a little higher pitched than usual, no?

And of course they draft Adrian Peterson. The best part of their offense is Chester Taylor, so of course they draft at his position. The Vikings are the worst drafters ever.

Actually, Peterson is going to be really really good. I just think the Vikings suck.

1:28 Atlanta is on the clock.

Wow. Jamaal Anderson. They traded up to get him? I'm no expert (see above) but I am fairly certain they could have gotten him at 10. If this ends up screwing the Niners out of Patrick Willis somehow, I will not be a happy mock drafter.

1:38 Miami is on the clock. Brady Quinn is a lock. Might want to change that Brown tie to a teal one there, Bradley.

Wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow. Tedd Ginn Jr.! The Dolphins done fucked up. I would imagine they did this because they lost ol' what's his name to the Patriots...but this is crazy. Dolphin fans have to be jacked. I'm getting my buddy who is a Dolphin fan on the phone. You'll have his reaction momentarily.

You think Houston is pissed they traded for Matt Schaub when they could have just drafted Brady? Methinks so. Maybe not, but methinks so.

Yea, my buddy the Dolphin fan - JP - is not pleased. Plans to cancel Sunday ticket were debated. Man is he furious. I can't even print what he said, and I already said the f word on here. Let's just move on.

Houston better not draft Patrick Willis. Or trade and let someone - Denver! - pick him instead. Just take Leon Hall and let me enjoy the next selection.

Amobi Time! Damn, I forgot about him. But screw that. Niners are on the clock. C'mon fellas...Carriker looks enticing, but Willis is the pick. Fingers crossed.

2:03 Niners are on the clock. Man, sweaty palms. I thought this was supposed to be fun.

Good point by Mort: all three of the pot smokers have gone in the Top 10. Did we learn nothing from Ricky Williams? If any of those three start rocking a wedding dress, take out an insurance policy.

Mock Drafters Update Through 10 Picks: Mel 7, Todd 6, Rick 5, Peter 3, Me 4. I am kicking Peter King's ass.

Brady has been invited into a public suite by Roger Goodell so ESPN cameras can't obsess over him. Damnit.

Keyshawn thinks the Panthers should take Brady Quinn. Not a real surprise, considering he said that they "were left with nothing" when Delhomme got hurt. That was awkward when they had to direct snap it to their running backs 73 times a game. They were so desperate they even ran a reverse to Keyshawn once. (Note: that wasn't a joke; they seriously did that.)

Steve Young says pencil in Patrick Willis. Can I do that in pen? Yes I can! I can carve that shit in stone. He was beasting on dudes with a frickin' cast on his hand. I am stoked. Phew. Deep breaths, deep breaths. Lot of picks in the first four rounds for the Niners.

Now, the question becomes: where does Brady Quinn go? Other than Roger Goodell's living room. Buffalo might be considered, but Losman is decent enough that they can address areas of much, much greater concern - like corner back (I say they go Leon Hall here). Carolina is an option, but do you really draft a back up in the first round? Jacksonville and Baltimore are serious options, too...but if for some reason he gets past them, he could go to the second round. Wouldn't that be some shit?

2:25 The Bills grab Marshawn Lynch at 12. Everyone in Green Bay starts absent mindingly shredding his cheese head. I am glad Buffalo loses two defensive studs and does nothing to replace them. And if Berman says anything about wagons and circles, I am throwing my TV through the window.

Berman makes some obscure tie between Marv Levy and Cal. Sweet Jeebus, Bommer, no one gives a shit. No one. Quit making these damn old time references. If you and Steve Sabol want to go salivate over some black and white film of people playing with out facemasks and say Raaaaaaaaaaaaaiders, fine. But knock it off during the draft.

2:30 St. Louis is on the clock. I predicted Jamaal Anderson; Peter went with Leon Hall. This is a huge pick if I am going to maintain my mastery of Peter King. Stupid Bills should have taken Leon and made this a done deal. Jerks.

Adam Carriker. Fine. Whatever. Moving on.

2:40 Carolina is on the clock. Brady? Yes? No? I predicted Carriker here, so I'm not happy.

Here's what I don't get about teams not taking Brady Quinn. Every Sunday, everyone and their brother sits around complaining about how much their team's quarterback sucks. When you wager on a game, half the time it boils down to, "You know what? Their QB blows. Gimme the other guys." Every analyst bemoans quarterbacks bad decision makers. And now there is a very, very good QB available and he is chillin' with Roger Goodell. Tell me how that makes any sense.

Well, we have a trade - NY is picking for Carolina, but ESPN won't tell us the details. The fans knew before Berman somehow. Wow. Seems like the Jets gave up a lot. They switch first rounders, NY gets a 6th rounder, and Carolina gets a 2nd and a 5th.

I have no idea what picks are worth in the NFL. The Bears and Jets just swap second rounders for Thomas Jones, but the Jets give up a second rounder just to move up 6 spots in the draft. I need a chart or something.

I love the reaction form Jets fans with the pick of Darrelle Revis. They were quietly paused, waiting to explode, Revis' name was announced, no sense of recognition registered on anyone's face, one yahoo screamed, and then the rest of the sheep all screamed like that's who they wanted all along. That was a terrific 15 minutes from the New York Football Jets.

2:54 Da Stees are on da clock.

Da Stees take Lawrence Timmons, which I so suavely predicted (read: copied from the three mock drafters who have some modicum of copetancy in this department). Peter King picked Darrelle Revis from Pitt in this spot solely so he could write this sentence, and for no other reason at all:

Ever been to the Steelers' training facility on the south side of town? Interesting place. Walk through the entrance of a big building on the left, and you enter Steelers headquarters. The door on the right is Pitt's place. Revis' pro locker room will be 20 yards from his college one.

Notice how Peter subtly brags that he's been there? Classy, I thought. If Revis attended USC, no way Peter makes this pick. Pete also dropped this gem on us when he predicts Adrian Peterson to the Falcons:

Peterson wins a battle in Falcons war room over Levi Brown. If not here, Peterson could sink like Big Pussy's body after it was thrown overboard off the Jersey coast. Much skepticism in draft rooms over his 2007 availability.

Forced analogy aside, did anyone else ever think they'd read the word "pussy" in a Peter King column? How does he look his family in the face?

3:00 Packers are on the clock. I am so sick of Mel's board. I do not care for it, no sir, not one bit.

Wow. 'Nother surpise. Packers go defense two years in a row in the first round. You think they are trying to subty tell Brett Favre, "Listen, my man, we appreciate everything you'd done - really, you'll never know - but its time to hang it up. You were great in that Prilosec commercial...is that a mediocre acting career I hear calling your name?"

3:14 Jacksonville on the clock. If they don't take Brady Quinn here, he might as well go borrow Tony Kornheiser's heated blanket and settle in for a long nap.

I hope Goodell stops doing that, "OK, Team X fans..." before every other pick. He doesn't seem like the most natural public speaker, does he? Seems like he is making an effort to open up a rapport with the fans, which is a nice gesture. Kinda like when the meanest principle you ever had tries to be your buddy, though. Aaaaaaaawkward.

If Jax takes Reggie Nelson, I am going to open up an insurmountable lead over Pete. C'mon Reggie. C'moooooooooooooon Reggie!

This is bullshit. Denver moves up to Jax' spot. They get Denver's 3rd and 6th rounder, too. Listen, Denver ain't screwin' around this year. They were all over the FA market and they are going to get their guy in this draft.

Denver goes with Jarvis Moss. Boomer just orgasmed over Jarvis Moss's speed, which I do not think Moss can put on a resume. I can't believe they screwed me out of a correct Reggie Nelson pick there. If Denver would have read my mock draft, they would have known that they could have stayed pat on still have gotten Moss. For being such a genius, Shannahan doesn't do too much research.

3:28 Bengals are on the clock. Too bad Carriker was already taken! Bada-bing! Thank you, thank you, I'll be here all night.

Nice pick by the Bengals, grabbing Leon Hall. Filled a need and he shouldn't even have been there.

****Breaking News: Leon Hall has been arrested on suspicion of DUI. Hall, allegedly, was pulled over and then puked all over the arresting officer. Three semi-automatic hand guns were found under the front seat of the vehicle and a 10 pound block of marijuana was found in the trunk. Hall said it was his cousin's weed, his uncle's guns and his mother's car.***

3:33 Titans are on the clock. Why did Todd McShay get relegated to the little kid's table? This is bullshit. I think it is because Kiper secretly hates him. This is like on Playmakers when they drafted Omar Gooding and that old running back hated him. I see only one solution here: Kiper needs to get on 'roids. Sad, but inevitable. Hey, it's Mel's body!

Damnit, I went with Ginn Jr. here, probably because he would be the perfect fit since he is the best returner in the draft and the Titans lost their returner to The Goodell Crusades. I was actually really proud of thinking this one through and the jackass Dolphins blew it. After this and the Reggie Nelson debacle, Pete could make a big leap if they go with Dwyane Bowe here. This is not good.

I would just like to say now that the Titans are going to suck next year without Pacman. Vince Young was good, yea, but they won some games when he went like 5-21 for 54 yards because Pacman returned a punt and an INT for touchdowns.

Titans grab Michael Griffin and my mock is in shambles. At least Pete doesn't make up any ground. Whoa, Mel, calm down there homie...he may be good, but Ronnie Lott? These Big Boy desk is compating guys to all-time legends and enshrining guys in the Hall of Fame just a tad too quickly, aren't they?

I am holding my breath hoping that no one picks a WR. Because once one of them goes, they are going to come flying off the board. Think NE burns one of those picks on a WR? Bet they'd love to get Bowe and Reggie Nelson. Actually, I bet they get whatever they want; they usually do.

3:45 Giants are on the clock. Steve Young is just going nuts whenever teams refuse to draft players to help out quarterbacks. First he was pissed the Browns didn't make a statement by getting Quinn, then he was pissed they didn't give Favre any help, now he is mad Vince has no new weapons (never mind that this draft is so deep at WR and only one has been taken and they just lost their best player in the secondary for the season.) Hey, Steve: some teams are going to draft guys on the defensive side of the ball. Let's move on.

Hey, Brady was on the phone. I hope Cleveland gets him. Then they would all get A's on their report card from Mel, and a solid education is really what it is all about.

Two seperate groups of Giants fans have competing cheers going: the bottom section is screaming "Lets go Giants!" while the upper decks counters with "Giants! Giants!" and both are suffiiently drowned out. I never had an opinion on them before, but now I think all Giants fans are dumb.

The Giants get Aaron Ross. Fine. They did cut their starting left tackle, though, and have yet to replace him. Mr. Throw Off My Back Foot Every Time is probably thrilled.

I was worried about a run on WR (I really, really want a stud WR for the Niners at 42) but a run on d-backs is really what is going on. Veeeery intereeeeeeesting.

3:55 Jacksonville on the clock. Did I fall asleep or has Reggie Nelson not been drafted yet?

Mark May just said Dallas is the most likely destination for Brady Quinn. Where the hell is Tom Jackson when you need him? Give me one good reason why Brady Quinn would go to Dallas? To hold PATs? Don't they have a freakin' Pro Bowler at QB?

Hmm. Michael Smith just concurred. I guess I just don't get the NFL.

I think Jags fans are chanting "Revis! Revis!" Either I heard wrong, or they are dumber than those Giants fans.

And they do get Revis. I called this at 17, so I'm counting it. Take that, Pete. How about the Jags trading down, grabbing those extra picks, and still getting the player they were going to take anyways? Wonder if they knew all along, or they just have balls made of stone? Either way, A++++ for the Jags.

4:02 Dallas is on the clock. If Brady Quinn goes here, I will be baffled. Surely they have more pressing needs than a back up quarterback, right?

Ed Werder just revealed that he texted Tony Romo (!) and Romo would be "astonished" if they took Brady Quinn. So me and Tony Romo are the only two people that would be astonished here. And here I didn't think we had anything in common.

(I don't wanna jinx it, but it is looking better and better for the Niners getting a good WR at 42. Sshhhhhh.)

Dallas's "play caller" from last year was Tony Sporano? Is Peter King aware of this? How have we not had a fawning piece on Tony Sporano yet?!?!?

TRADE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Browns are now on the clock! OMG! Brady Quinn is going to the Browns!!!!!!!

I can't believe the Browns got both of their guys. What a freakin' job by Cleveland. Seriously. That is phenomenal. Round of applause. Good thing he wore than Brown tie.

This might be one of the neatest draft stories ever. I can't believe how this worked out. Pretty cool. Preeeeeetaaaaaay, preeeeeeeetaaaaaaaay cool.

(Good job, Miami.)

4:17 Kansas City is on the clock. If they don't take a WR here, they are crazy. Crazy. OK, well not crazy, but their WR corps just blows, and there are a ton of WRs here that deserve to go late first round. Yes, this is a reverse jinx.

I love how Jaws ends his sentences. "Brady Quinn is not afraid to make the tough throw. And that is why he will be a terrific quarterback in the National Football League." I am geeked to hear this 10 times a night on MNF.

So KC goes Dwyane Bowe, which was really their only choice, in this guesser's opinion. Atta boy, KC.

4:32 New England is on the clock. I am curious to see if they go offense or defense here. If we go WR back-to-back, I may start involuntarily spasming.

Brandon Meriweather. Damnit. If Griffin wasn't already off the board, I woulda got that one. I can take solace in the fact that Peter wasn't even close.

Oh! I didn't know Meriweather was the infamous stomper in the MIA/FIA brawl. So Belichik openly screws with the NFL's injury list reports, and now he openly thumbs his nose at drafting "character" guys. Man, the Pats just drafted college football's answer to Albert Haynesworth. And he was in a "legal" gun fight!

I love when an on field brawl and a gun fight (!) are considered "minor" concerns. Fabulous.

4:45 The Panthers are on the clock. The NFL Live guys are arguing about Meriweather. Sean Salisbury called his antics "bush league." Completely underrated term. A+, Sean.

Mark May applauds the pick. Of course he does. I have yet to agree with Mark May. He is driving me friggin' nuts. I think he could proclaim that Point 23 is running the greatest live blog of an NFL draft ever and I would vehemently disagree. And his huge head with tiny little spectacles aren't helping matters, either. Get some contacts or some Lasik, Mark May; you look like the number 2 side of a die.

The Big Cats grab Jon Beason, another defensive player out of Miami. What, no brawl footage? No gun fights? What a disgrace to the U. Michael Irvin is in a purple suit somewhere, shaking his head in shame.

4:53 Philly is on the clock. Every single remaining player is saying, "Not me, not me, not me, not me..."

Berman: quit giving Keyshawn opportunities to bash Chris Wienke. Oh, and now Mort is in on the bashing. Poor Chris Weinke.

Oh, a trade! Dallas jumps up here for no good reason, really. Philly musta got some good shit for this. Don't take a WR you slimy bastards. Just don't do it. You leave Robert Meachem alone. He was growing on me and you already got two decent WRs. You know how your safety gets beat long like twice a game? Yea, maybe you should do something about that. Or draft a holder. Just not a WR.

New Orleans has to be holding its breathe, too, right? Isn't there one first round corner back left? And they need one of them i am pretty sure.

The Eagles got a 2nd, 3rd and a 5th. I guess Dallas can do that considering how much they got for Brady Quinn.

Did Cleveland give up too much for Brady? Well, they were going to have to draft a QB next year, anyways, probably, so they just used it a year earlier. So it cost them a second rounder this year. If you are Cleveland, I think you can live with that. They are being aggressive, they seem to have a definite direction they want to take this team, and as a fan of a rebuilding franchise, you can't really ask for much more than that.

The Cowboys take Anthony Spencer and the Dallas fans act like they just ate some bad sea food. Who did they want Dallas to take? I am guessing they just never heard of the guy. Dallas has really been all over the place this draft, but they have two No. 1's next year, one of them probably pretty high, so you can't really knock them.

5:05 The Saints are on the clock. Much like Miami had to take a QB and KC had to take a WR, the Saints have to take a cornerback. When a casual football fan can glance at a game and say, "Wow, the (fill in team name here) are awful at (fill in position here). They are just getting killed," then you, as a franchise, have a duty to address said position. They didn't do it in free agency, I don't think, so you have to go corner here.

Ross is already gone, so they have to take the next available. Take Chris Houston. Just do it, NO, don't ask questions. I don't care if it is a stretch or a reach, you have to do it. When a position costs you a trip to the Super Bowl, you fill it. I cannot stress this enough.

Of course, this is the franchise that found Marques Colston in the 7th round, so I'll chill. Wonder if they were high fiving in the war room or if they were like, "eh, we'll see if he can make it on special teams."

Have I mentioned lately that I love when Jaws breaks down films? Can we do this on MNF instead of commercials? Or at least instead of Pink? Jaws is the best analyst in the entire National Football League.

Wow. The Saints go with Robert Meachem. What the hell, New Orleans. He better be playing both ways, because people are gonna pass all over them.

New Orleans just decided to become the Phoenix Suns of the NFL. Screw it, we will just outscore you. Fair enough, at least they have a plan. Can I just draft "The Saints Offense" in my fantasy league?

5:18 New England is on the clock again. They went with a safety with their first first round pick. Come back with a little offense the second time around?

I think Mark May borrowed his sons glasses for the show today. Those poor little pieces of metal are about at their snapping point; his generous dome is about to snap them like twigs. He has yet to say a single thing I agree with. Even Michael Irvin made me agree sometimes.

They just showed that LeBron commercial where that idiot is driving around in his mower while LeBron shoots various faces if disapproval in his general direction and then rejects the poor bastard into next Tuesday, all without uttering a word and holding a cup of coffee. I think they filmed this commercial without telling LeBron. I really don't think he had any idea he was even in a commercial. He just got a check from John Deere in the mail one day, thought it was his weekly pay check and didn't think twice.

Orlando is up 5 on Detroit with 3:18 left. I'm not watching; I cost the Magic a playoff series one time because I watched - long story - so I'll leave them alone for now. I wish I would have paid close attention to this series, but if Detroit isn't going to care, then neither am I.

Oh, shit son. The Niners just traded with New England. That'll make you sit up in your seat. Wonder who they are gunning for here? They must love him. Wonder what they gave up. I hope it wasn't No. 42 in Round 2. I can live with anything else.

Who they going for here? A lineman? Staley? Maybe Grubbs? I want a playmaker on the perimeter.

Staley it is. Hey, they must have loved him to move up and get him. I trust Nolan's judgment. I'm really curious what they gave up. I am dying for a playmaker on the perimeter. Dying.

Details of the trade: Niners gave up their 4th Rounder this year, and their first rounder next year. Man. I don't know how I feel about that. Staley better be a friggin' stud, and the Niners better finish in the top half, top third of the league so that No. 1 isn't loaded with value. Basically the Niners are saying "We want to make the playoffs this year. Period." And you know what? I like that.

Baltimore took Ben Grubbs, which everyone above called - except Peter King. Good God, Peter.

But back to the Niners. I was a little disappointed that they gave up that second rounder, because it pretty much eliminated any shot at a top level WR (hey, maybe Sidney Rice will sill be there) but, from 49ersNews.com:

According to a league source, San Francisco and division rival Seattle are close to finalizing a trade that would send Seahawks wide receiver Darrell Jackson to the Niners in exchange for one of their fourth-rounders, believed to be the Niners’ third selection in the round, No. 124 overall.

The deal is contingent upon Jackson passing his physical, scheduled for Saturday at the Niners’ Santa Clara, Calif.

So. That would be something. I think I can live with that. I am going to need to see how this all shakes out before I give it a definitive answer. But that was an exciting 15 minutes.

5:45 San Diego is on the clock. Much like KC, they have to go WR here, although I don't know if they are in love with any of those USC WRs. We shall see.

Keyshawn: "Speed is overrated at the WR position." He is saying some really interesting things, is well spoken, seems to have done his homework, is articulate, can banter and argue without screaming at the top of his lungs...my God, he's a better analyst than a wide receiver. Trading Keyshawn for Michael Irvin is better than the Reggie Bush falling to the Saints at 2. Can he retire from football now?

Why does ESPN show us the picks hugging and crying on the phone before they get picked? Why do they let Berman tip the picks half the time? Why do they scroll scores during Sports Center? WE WANT TO WAIT. WE WANT TO BE SURPRISED WHEN THE COMMISH IS AT THE PODIUM. KNOCK IT OFF. Thank you.

Flipped over to TNT quickly: Bron Bron with two vicious dunks back to back. I'm not watching! I swear I'm not.

Well, at least I got the position right. They took Craig Davis out of LSU. Hey, they addressed a need. Can't complain. I think Jarrett is better, but whatever. LSU put two receivers in the first round of the NFL draft.

Good Lord, Mel is in love with measurables. Keyshawn is on fire. I am listening to him more than anyone else at this table combined. He should pull a Tiki Barber and retire. Keyshawn is 10 times better than Keyshawn. Can we just get Todd McShay and Keyshawn breaking down the draft? Everyone else is free to go home. G'night.

5:55 Bears are on the clock. I think they are taking Greg Olson. Word. The more weapons for the Sex Cannon, the better.

Yep, Greg Olson. Awesome. Moving on.

6:10 World Champs on the board. LeBron James just hit a freakin' ludicrous step back three from a foot behind the arc. Good day for the city of Cleveland, I'd say.

The Colts pick Brandon Stokely 2.0 in Anthony Gonzalez. That is crazy that he will never be the best receiver on his team at either level and he is a first round pick. Wonder who he played with in HS?

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaand that is it for round one. That was long as hell, my ass is numb, and the Cavs are on. I need to lay down. If anything wild happens in Round 2, I'll add it here.

I'll figure out who won the First Annual Mock Drafter and Guesser Showdown. Early predications hint that Peter King may not have fared so well.

Second Season: Day 7

2007-04-28T03:43:00.000-04:00

Golden St. drops the second worse beating of the playoffs on Dallas. For whatever reason, I wasn't on the Golden St. bandwagon at the start of the playoffs - I'll blame that on being very, very unfamiliar with their roster - but after watching them totally outplay and outclass the Mavericks, how can anyone - and I mean anyone; I'm including Maverick employees here - not be cheering for Golden St. to pull this thing off?

Golden St. is playing with an energy and an enthusiasm and a passion that is just very, very rare in the NBA right now. They are like the Phoenix Suns on ecstasy. They are the anti-Pistons. If you didn't know any better, you would think you were watching a college game tonight. Not to go all Bill Simmons here, but as a fan of basketball (I can't begin to tell you how condescending that is and how pissed off I get when I read it) how can you not be praying for Golden St. to send the moping, entitled Mavs on an early fishing trip?

You can X and O it all you want, go over matchups, question coaching decisions, but the fact of the matter is that Golden St. just wants it more. It is as simple as that. It doesn't even matter who they throw on the court. The Warriors are playing to prove something; Dallas is playing like they are entitled to the second round.

The Warriors are pushing the ball, making plays, knocking down drive and kick shots, playing as a team. And yea, they are making an unreal amount of shots, and a lot of their shots could be classified as "lucky," but really, they are making their own luck. I mean, when you get to the rim that often, you are going to shoot a high percentage, I don't care how many of them you double-pump and shoot over your head.

Do the Mavericks have any desire to stop penetration? Any? Baron Davis has borrowed Allen Iverson's crossover, circa 1998, and is getting to the rim at will. At will. No one can check the dude. Jason Richardson got the the rim whenever he wanted. Hell, I could name their entire roster. They lived in the paint.

And every time they did it, the Mavs just stood around, shooting each other dirty looks, bitching to the refs, talking under their breaths. I may have missed it, but did anyone in green look like a leader this evening? Maybe D Wade was right; maybe the Mavs don't have a leader. Every time they gave up a lay up - and this was fairly often - they just looked at each other, like, "Hey, shouldn't you be doing something about this?" No one showed even the tiniest bit of resolve.

The fact that they were losing didn't make me cheer against the Mavericks. The fact that they wouldn't wipe that entitled, pissy look off their collective face all night did. Combine that with the most joyful - yes, I said joyful - basketball I can recall seeing, and it is a no brainer: I believe.

If you want to X and O it a little bit...maybe Avery was onto something when he tried to go small ball with them. Usually when a team tries to play small ball, you go big, pound it inside, shoot two-foot shots over your shorter opponents and kill them on the glass at both ends. The team going small ball then has to rely on the three pointer and scoring in transition to make up for the difference. Height usually wins out in this instance, because, hey, it is easier to shoot layups than threes. This isn't the case in this series for a few reasons:

1. Dallas' big guys are not skilled enough to make Golden St. pay for guarding them with smaller players. Seriously, Diop & Dampier average like 4 points a game, combined. You'd think Dirk - hey, he's pretty tall, too - would just freakin' camp on the block and kill whoever the hell is guarding him, but that hasn't been the case. To be fair, GS has done a good job doubling him near the basket, but Dallas is still doing a pitiful job making the Warriors pay the price for going small around the bucket - partly because they are not skilled enough offensively to, partly because well, I don't know why.

2. Diop and Dampier - and basically their entire team - can't keep the Warrior guards - or anybody from Oakland, really - out of the paint. It looks like lay up lines. If I was more ambitious, I would look up the points in the paint, but please believe, believe it please, it wasn't even close. I remember seeing a graphic at one point and thinking, "Hey, if Golden St. was only allowed to shoot in the paint, it would still be a good game."

If Dallas had one guy - one guy - who could score from the block, this series would be wildly different. But as of right now, they don't. If Dallas is going to win this series, it is up to Dirk to get his ass on the block, say screw these double-teams, and just kill the Warriors in the paint. If he does that, Dallas will escape. If he doesn't, well...I think we need to recount those MVP ballots.

For all intents and purposes, Chicago sends Miami fishing. No team has ever come back from a 3-0 deficit, and something is telling me that Del Boca Vista (do you realize they give significant minutes to 5 guys who have been in the L for at least a decade? And their PG has been here for 8? Half their team could retire next week and I wouldn't bat an eye lash) doesn't have the energy to be the first.

I know Shaq has been complaining about the refs, and I know he is the hardest player ever to officiate in the history of the illustrious National Basketball Association, but my God, man...you gotta do better than this. Shaq should be killing the Bulls. They are guarding him with Ben Wallace who gives up like half a foot and almost 100 pounds. Yea, he's tough, but c'mon. The Bulls are basically just letting Shaq play one-on-one in the post. They come every so often with a half-hearted double team, or they'll maybe have a guard take a swipe or two once he puts it on the floor, but for the most part, he is free to score.

Usually, a 23-13 game is sufficient, but not when your playoff life is on the line, the other team doesn't even have a center and they are refusing to seriously double team you. Shaq from a few years ago would get 40 against this type of defense. The sad part is, Chicago doesn't have to double-team him because he doesn't make them pay anymore.

It is really bizarre that the two games I watched tonight featured teams winning playoff games with no semblance of a low post threat. Neither team has one, and both are in the driver's seat in their respective series. Same thing applies here, though, that applies with the Warriors - Miami doesn't make Chicago pay for going small, not enough to make them change their approach, anyways. And Chicago, as a team, just wants this series more.

Pat Reilly made a good point before the game. Basically, he said that once you become the champ, you think you dominated the entire season before. You don't remember that you doubted yourself, that there were times you didn't think you could win it, that teams got the better of you, how fortunate you were in certain instances. I thought that was a genuine, thoughtful peak into the mind of a champion, and an aging one at that. I guess that Reilly guy is pretty smart after all.

So, this series is over. The only question is how many games? If I were Chicago, I'd do everything in my power to make this a sweep. Detroit is going to close out Orlando in 4, and you don't want them getting any advantage in the rest department. Skiles will have them playing harder than ever, I am guessing - he is crazy intense: ESPN showed a close up of him staring straight ahead and I had to look away; I lost a staring contest to Scott Skiles that he didn't even know he was in - but Del Boca Vista has too much pride to go down in 4, I think.

Don't they?

And some other things:

I liked the wildly unpreicatbale, out of control Jason Williams better. Can he still do all that stuff, you think?

I can't believe Chicago "wasted" Antione Walker's performance. That ain't happening again.

Ben Gordon likes to shoot. But if I was that flippin' good at anything, I'd do it that often, too.

Vince Carter makes people in Toronto hate him ever more, if that is possible. Didn't watch it, but a few thoughts, anyways: that was one slick pass from J. Kidd. And did you see his stat line? If I told you someone had a 16, 16 and 19, you wouldn't even know what those numbers represented. What a dominant performance. Guess the knee is fine.

Vince Carter...well, if that 37 point outburst proves anything, it that he can be mentally shaken. Toronto has to steal Game 4, Vince will crumble in Game 5, and then they just have to come up with either 6 or 7. Sounds like a plan.

But seriously: 16, 16 and 19. Damn.

Quick programming note: Vote either here or in the upper left hand corner for which game should get the nod for tonight's live blog:

Opinion Polls & Market Research

Second Season: Day 6

2007-04-27T02:28:00.000-04:00

It was really a shame David Stern (or his intern, or Roger Goodell, or whoever decides these things) decided to relegate Jazz/Houston to NBATV. By all accounts, though, it doesn't sound like we missed much.

(I say "we" because I don't know anyone with NBATV. Do you have it? How is it?)

Utah wins Game 3 on its home court. Somehow, the Rockets only had four (4!) players score. First time that's ever happened in the playoffs. Listen, I love Head as much as the next guy, but if Luther doesn't knock a few down from deep, the Rockets don't have a chance.

If you are the Rockets, are you encouraged or discouraged by this? I think I'd be encouraged; I mean, it isn't like you got blown out. You hung with the Jazz on their court when only four of your guys decided to play. Not bad for playing 4 on 5 all night.

Jeff Van Gundy doesn't strike me as a glass half full type of guy, though. After the Rockets won Game 2, he might as well have given his press conference while sitting on the grave of favorite pet. He was damn near morbid. He has luggage under his eyes and a 5 o'clock shadow the minute he rolls out of bed (if he goes to sleep at all). Seems like a real joy.

And their only goal coming to Utah was to get a split. That possibility is still very much alive, Hell, all they have to do is look to LA. If anyone had an excuse, it was them after that trouncing they got in Game 2.

T-Mac (Or is it T. Mac? Someone clear this up for me. I never know.) called out his bench after the game. He seemed genuinely pissed. Maybe it isn't all on him after all.

Detroit continues to beat a team it is much better than for the first time ever. For as good as the Pistons have been in the post season over the years, this is the first time this team has ever had the chance to sweep another team.

What is it with team's in the East? Why are they all so nonchalant about everything? The Pistons are the cool kids who sit in the back of the class, smart kids who need to be challenged before they try; the Cavs are convinced they can turn it on whenever they want; the Heat have readily admitted that they haven't played as hard as they can in their first two post season losses; the Nets most well-known name is the poster child for playing when he feels like it. Hell, the Bulls might win the East just because they seem to try hard every game.

You'd think that since the East is the inferior conference, they would constantly bust their ass. Maybe that is why they are the inferior conference. The East is like Smush Parker: instead of being grateful for an opportunity they don't deserve, they coast and end up shooting themselves in the foot.

But back to the game. The Magic, at least to me, are making some odd match up choices, at least in the back court. Jameer Nelson (Chauncey Billups' Mini Me) gaurds Mr. Big Shot and Grant Hill guards Rip Hamilton. Shouldn't those be switched?

Billups just takes Jameer into the post and has his way with him; as strong as Jameer is, he isn't strong enough to bang with him, and he gives up way too many inches. Chauncey bangs, bangs, bangs and then elevates. Wouldn't Grant Hill's height bother him? And why does Grant and his surgically repaired ankles chase Rip around all those screens? Wouldn't the quick and elusive Jameer do a better job of that?

I guess it doesn't really matter, this series is over (Gone Fishin' coming soon!). I just don't get it.

LA pulls off one of the most improbable bounce backs ever. I really did not expect LA to bounce back and compete in this game, let alone win it. And once PHX got off to that 11-0 run, and then a 17-point lead, I was ready to call it a series.

But Kobe Bean Bryant handed in a virtuoso performance. He didn't come out gunning, but he turned it on when LA needed it the most. And by "when they needed it the most," I mean when they were down 17. Anyone find it odd that when he started taking over, the Lakers got back into it? Yea, me either. Makes perfect sense.

He did get a little too One Man Show towards the end (for my liking, he can never shoot too much), but for the most part, he was getting to the rim at will and finishing spectacularly, plus he was finding people for easy shots.

And that was the key: people demand he take less shots and get his teammates more involved, but Kobe has a habit of being an all or nothing guy. Either he's gunning and not passing or he is just reversing the ball, not penetrating or being a threat and just letting his teammates remind everyone how bad they are. Tonight he found the perfect medium. He was killing everyone off the dribble, but when he couldn't finish himself, he found other people - for the most part.

And that is where Kwame benefited. His performance was solely the product of Kobe finding him and Amare not being able to challenge him because of foul trouble. That performance was a fluke.

Lamar's performance was not a fluke. Well, it may have been a fluke because who knows if LA will ever get that type of line out of him ever again, but dude played a heck of a game. That is what he is capable of on a regular basis. He got to the rim a ton (even if he wasn't always successful). He is the Lakers best post player. I would tell Kwame to hit the glass (which he won't cuz he's soft) and let Lamar post up.

But this was all about Kobe. He really just leaves you shaking your head sometimes. How can anyone seriously watch him for any period of time and decide that team is better off when he is passing? He is the best scorer of this generation and people demand that he passes? That is ludicrous. He is a scorer first and foremost and his passing will flow from that.

And that is exactly what happened tonight. Plus, he is the preeminent closer in the NBA sure, but in all of sports, too. I think only Tiger and maybe Tom Brady rivals him in that department.

Can he keep that up for three more games? Probably not. Will he try? I sure as hell hope so.

Live Blog: Phoenix Suns vs. Los Angeles Lakers - Round 1, Game 3

2007-04-26T22:47:00.000-04:00

Also known as "Kobe vs. Inevitability."

This game is over already. 11-0 Suns, 4 different players have scored, they've hit a three, Stoudamire has a transition alley-oop dunk and Kobe has yet to register an FGA. Quick 20 second time out from Phil. Hey, that's better than last game, Phillip.

Kwame Brown is a joke. He demands more post touches, so far he's 0-2 with two attempts that he might as well have been earing a skirt for and a turnover. Go throw some cake, Kwame.

And Kobe is on the board! He hits a sweet fall away J from the foul line. Now do that 47 more times.

Oh yes. Yes. Kobe hits a tough runner/pull up over Bell again. 11-4, PHX.

Kwame gets to the foul line on a bail out call, but his attempt at a three point play was, um...unskilled. I don't know why I despise him so much; I think it is because he reminds me of a big kid I played with in college who was just a complete was of talent and a total prick to top it off. He was the kind of kid who would throw a cake at some dude, too.

Bell finds Nash to finish of a 4-1 fast break. 15-6. I'n not even typing PHX anymore. When you see a score, just assume PHX is the higher number.

Hey I just noticed Kurt Thomas in the starting line up. This is different, right?

Kwame blows another chance at a three point play. What a skirt.

Kurt Thomas is on fire. 2-3. Never mind that his one miss nearly cracked the backboard. The other two were as pure as a shot can be from someone who is channelling Bill Cartwright's jumper. 19-7 as we head into commercial.

You know, Kobe is letting me down. I hope this isn't Prove a Point Kobe. I like I Am Going to Score Every Time I Touch It Kobe. He's much better. Does anyone - Kobe, fans, Phil - think that Kwame flailing to the basket or Lamar missing nine striaght point blank layups is better offense that a triple teamed Kobe shooting a fadeaway from the corner? I'll take Kobe shooting left handed over anyone else wearing purple and gold.

Wow. Craig Sager has footage of a police chase that delayed Odom getting to the stadium. The cop car spun out some half naked jackass in a car that looked like it belonged in a "Life Comes at You Quickly Commercial." Speaking of Odom, he cuts it to 10 - and Farmer with a steal in the back court!

That's is actually bad...the Lakers fail to capitalize and Nash is no going to destroy Farmar for the next two minutes.

Ooooh. Farmer tried posting up Nash and Nash just jacked him in the back when he tried to shoot. I'm telling you: Nash will be at the rim on the Suns next possession. He does not enjoy Farmar at all. Wow, Nash with a turnover. This is just weird.

Holy Hell. Kobe with a ludacris baseline, reverse, hang forever lay up. Unreal. He released the ball on his way down, when he was no more than two inches from hitting the ground. Just do that every time! Of course, Barbosa answers with a three and Odom misses another shot from point blank. He is the anti-finisher; it is like he is allergic to paint.

27-14 after Marion hits the first pull up jump shot of his life. Another non-Kobe shot for the Lakers. Barbosa with another 3. Sweet Jeebus, LA. Two more non-Kobe shots. If you play for the Lakers, you have to have a pretty large pair of cajones shooting the ball. How do you look Kobe in the eye after shooting? Just give him the damn ball!

Shammond Williams checks in. A few things here: Shammond Williams! Alright, the more UNC alums in this game, the better. (Kobe drills a 3 from the corner!) Second, he has taken the roster spot of a "very healthy Radmonic," according to Doug Collins. (Bynum pulls a Kwame and blows a chance to finish when fouled. Good God, the Laker bigs are soft. I see a Charmin endorsement in their future.) So Vlad Rad can play, and he's a healthy scratch? Man, Phil must really hate him. No books for Vlad this summer.

End of 1. PHX has a lot, LA doesn't. Back after the break.

Shammond Williams is still in. Smush Parker seems to care on the sideline (that was sarcastic). 31-19.

Doug Collins says Diaw should take Brian Cook off the dribble after Diaw turns it over. I agree: Kurt Thomas beat Brian Cook off the dribble two plays ago for God's sake.

Odom misses another lay-up. Hey, he is relentless, I'll give him that. There is a fine line between being relentless and being stupid, though.

Kobe has been on the bench for a while...what happened to 48 minutes of Kobe!?!? I was promised 48 minutes of Kobe. I want my money back.

Odom knocks down a J. Makes perfect sense. Lake Show is making a little run with Kobe on the bench, they have it within 9, 35-26.

Advice from Dyan Cannon: "I think they should hope and pray." Amazingly, that is the best advice I can possibly think of. Praying should be prominently involved in all Laker game plans. Write that down, Phil - you aren't really doing anything else.

No, whistling doesn't count.

Kobe or Nash haven't been in the game for, like, a really long time. Seriously, I want my money back. I didn't tune in for Boris Diaw vs. Brain Cook, as exciting as that has been.

Craig Sager with the obligatory Triangle Offense and how does Kobe fit into it argument. I can not begin to tell you how sick of all this shit I am. Just give Kobe the ball, everyone else get out of the way, and see if he can win the game by himself. There's your offense.

Tex Winter looks like he should be slugging gulps striaght from a bottle of Jack Daniels, by the way.

Nash and Kobe are in!

Aaaaand Kobe just crossed Shawn Marion over, made him fall, and then hammered it. Hey, um, Shawn? Don't bring that up the next time you feel unappreciated. That was disgusting.

Challenge: come up with a worse playoff back court than Shammond Williams and Smush Parker. How can you play these guys at the same time?

Oh, Kobe with another gorgeous drive and finish. 13 points on 6/8 shooting. As well as he's playing, that needs to be doubled right now. 38-33.

Nash passes to Amare who hits a wide open J. It seems like Nash just throws it to wide open people all the time. Who was guarding him? Nash didn't even make an attempt to penetrate, he just threw it to him and he was open. I don't get it.

Much like this live blog, PHX seems out of sync and disjointed. Timeout for everyone as we try to regroup and get our shit together.

Bryant drives and fins Odom, who, unsurprisingly misses a lay up.

Shammond Williams forces a turnover from Meep Meep and finds Kobe for a three-point play in transition. Man, can Kobe finish. No wonder Lamar hates him.

Odom scores in the paint! Lakers within 4! I don't know which is more shocking.

Oh, wow. Kobe drives again, takes the contact, but Nash took a charge. I hope that doesn't deter Kobe...it doesn't! He hits a pull up in transition. Lakers with in 2. Kobe in transition again...! Damn, he passed. He was doing the MJ through the legs vs. Larry Bird thing, he got me all excited. And of course Smush screws everything up. I am incredibly frustrated, and I don't even like the Lakers. I don't know how Kobe put up with this shit for 82+ games.

2 minutes left, Lakers with in 5, 47-42. I have this theory that the best teams close out periods better than crappy teams. Let's see who finishes this half the best.

Odom with a put back. That's two lay ups in a row for Lamar. Gulp.

Amare answers with a pull up. His J is a lot more wet than I thought it was.

Kwame misses two, arguably three shots on one possession. What a flippin' skirt. Kurt Thomas knocks down a J to push the lead out to 6. LA should have the last shot of the half here.

Odom swishes a three off a Kobe drive. Very nice. So, under my theory, LA should win this game. We shall see. Frankly, I am thrilled this is so close.

Craig Sager is asking Amare how the Lakers were able to come back. Allow me: because Kobe went off. Got that, Sags? Write it down.

Lakers within 3 at the half. Back after the break.

Can we make Cassell a permanent part of Inside the NBA? He is terrific: "Kobe isn't Michael Jordan, but he ain't Harold Miner, either." Preach, Sam I Am, preach!

Nash hasn't played particularly well since that opening 11-0 run...if he doesn't get things going, the Lakers can win this game.Actually, no one has played really well for the Suns, and Doug Collins has done an excellent job articulating why, in my opinion. I am enjoying Doug Collins during this broadcast. Maybe it is because he isn't screaming at me.

I always wonders what happens after his parter Kevin Harlan just loses his mind and screams some nonsensical phrase like "Flight 31 is cleared for take off!" What does Collins do in the next five seconds? Just act like he didn't hear him? Roll his eyes? Involuntarily piss himself? I wish they would show this.

Luke Walton ties it at 53 with a trey. Shit, I didn't even know he was playing tonight.

James Jones unties it. No one else things he looks like a grown up version of that kid who used to say "Wut you talkin' 'bout, Willis?" Anyone?

This is one of the most awkward games of the playoffs. Nash hasn't asserted himself at all.

LA fans are cheering "MVP! MVP!" Nash should hold up two fingers right now. Or at least kiss his biceps again.

(How on God's green earth did Craig Sager win an Emmy? Are we sure it wasn't made of chocolate?)

You know what Steve Nash has brought into style? Leaving your feet to make a pass. He just drives, jumps, and then hangs as long as he can to find someone, usually with a crazy-angle bounce pass. Grade school coaches every where must cringe.

Nash just did that thing where he drives and you think he is going to take one more dribble before going into his lay up motion but just keeps going and ends up shooting a lay up with one hand while not jumping. Doug Collins: "Degree of difficulty? About a 10." I agree. He must have bigger hands than Kwame Brown.

McDonald's slogan is "I'm Loving It." I remember when they changed it, thinking how stupid it was to change a slogan everyone knew. And know I can't remember what their old slogan was. Anyone remember? Anyone? Bueller?

Kobe just scored on all five of the Suns. That's not a joke nor an exaggeration. All five had a chance to stop him, all five failed. Tell me why this is a bad strategy again? His three point play has LA up by 2, 61-59.

Farmar strips Nash's J attempt to force a shot clock violation. Farmar is playing surprisingly well against the two time MVP. Of course, LA blows it when Kwame misses a lazy fade away from two feet away. PHX scores at the other end while Kwame "writhes in pain at the other end." Must have gotten a little sand in the ol' box. Just rinse it out, Kwame, you'll be OK.

Kwame hammers one, guess he's OK. I love when guys lay there like they are dead, and then are fine two minutes later. This is like soccer guys flopping. Drives me nuts.

Lakers up two after Kwame's second dunk in a row. Barbosa misses another three. The Suns are really blowing right now.

I could watch Kobe drive all day. He is the prettiest finisher in the NBA. It is especially jarring after watching Lamar and Kwame gracelessly fire brick after brick from a foot away. What a finish he just had: drives baseline with his right hand, gets cut off, spins back middle and scoops it under the D with his right hand. Beautiful.

Alright, let's address this: Kwame has scored on like the last 5 possessions. But they have all been dunks. Wide open dunks because the D is obsessed with Kobe. Anyone could do what he is doing right now. He is taking advantage of Kobe getting him wide open and Amare being in foul trouble. Basically, he just isn't fucking up. Any time a defender has been within a foot of him or made any type of effort to stop him, he has failed with flying colors. When you read that Kwame had his best playoff game ever tomorrow, take it with a grain of salt. In fact, take it with a pound of salt.

Lakers are up 6. I'd like to say they are playing a hell of a game, but it really isn't the case. This is all about Phoenix. There is just no rhythm, no semblance of an offense. I'm with my man Doug Collins: after they got off to that huge start, they coasted. Now, they can't get it back. Nash should get it going in the fourth, though - he always plays his best as the end of the game. Of course, if it stays close, LA has the best closer in the L. This is shaping up to be a terrific finish.

Bean's shot rims out to end the third quarter, but Barbosa travels with .1 left on the clock. The Lakers try to inbound, but the score keeper screws up the horn. Doug Collins, without missing a beat: "That was the score keeper from Munich! I was wondering where he went." Have I said I'm enjoying Doug Collins tonight?

Lakers up 74-70 after the third. Ending should be a good one.

And the first comment ever during a Point 23 live blog. Everyone, remember where you were. I know I always will.

Iverson4MVP said...
Kobe is sweet in the lane I'll give you that. But after watching T-Mac slice through Jazz the other night, I am going to have to say he is the most graceful, prettiest finisher in the NBA... then again T-Mac is always settling for fade away 3's and rarely driving so...

It is definitely a two-man contest between T Mac and Kobe for prettiest finisher. T Mac had some gorgeous finishes against the Jazz, no doubt. I think after watching all the Kobettes around the rim, it is just so jarring seeing Kobe doing the things he does around the rim. What makes T Mac so pretty is that he looks like he isn't even trying; it is so effortless. Great debate, though.

Uh oh. Barbosa has a quick 5 points - but so does No. 24. Damn, he just missed a heat check 3. By the way, I have no idea who I am cheering for. Every time the Suns score, I approve. Anytime Kobe scores, I approve. I guess I am just cheering against any Laker not named Bean.

Oh boy. Kobe is in Shoot Every Time Mode. Finally. He is dribbling all over the place, spinning, getting late calls. This is what I want to see! Lakers up 5, 10 minutes to go.

Kobe has 37 with just under 9 left. 50 is not unreasonable. Lakers up 5. Do any of those idiots that were demanding Kobe not shoot the ball want to pipe up now?Any of you? K, just checking.

Barbosa is starting to get aggressive. He's not screwin' around. My question: where the hell is Steve Nash? Where are those pin point pick and roll passes? I can't believe the Smush/Shammond duo is doing tis kind of of job on Nash. Speaking of Nash, he just threw a jump pass right to Kobe, who had another pretty finish in transition.

Kobe is going to break the NBA record for Times Dribbled Through Legs.

It took me a while, but the reason Nash isn't getting those pick and roll passes is because they are switching the ball screens. Well, then, why is he settling for long jumpers instead of beating the big stiff off the dribble and then finding guys when the help comes? I think he should do that. Lakers still with a slim lead.


Iverson4MVP said...: So the Brasilian Blurr is just killing it this series. Completely just kills the Lakers whenever he is in there. So I am wondering, how many teams does he start for in the NBA?
Before the game, Sam Cassell was saying he isn't a starter, but that is just because he always needs the ball in his hands. Which is a fair point. But I think that only means he couldn't start with the Suns, because Nash will dominate the ball. I wonder when his contract is up, because if the Suns don't lock him up before that, he will definitely get starter money from a handful of teams.

I am curious to see him run the Suns offense once Nash retires. He is faster than Nash, sure, so the tempo won't change, but his vision and passing isn't even close. Wonder if his insane speed can make up for his passing ability?

Kobe gets to the rim again. My God, fellas, whoever is guarding Smush can double team him, you know that? I mean, he'll probably still score, but at least make him work for it. Smush is useless.

This is really shaping up. First buzzer beater of the Second Season? I think so.

Shammond Williams inexplicably jacks a contested college three. Luckily the Suns are playing horrendously and they can't capitalize.

Ooooh, Barbosa with a heck of a 3 from the corner to tie it. Odom answers with a score in the paint. He sure is getting better at that, isn't he?

I'm not entirely sure Shammond knows why he is out there. That isn't Dean Smith on the sidelines, my man. Play good defense and pass the ball to Kobe. No more wild shots. Actually, no more shots, period.

I think the Laker fans need to come up with some more lame chants. They sound like a pathetic high school student cheering section.

Kobe. So pretty. He's art, really. That's what he is. A gorgeous J to push it to 5, then Kobe gets fouled and makes both to push it to 7. 20 ticks left. Gonna need a miracle, PHX.

Here is the immatury and idiocy of Smush Parker on full display for the world to see. Phoenix jacks up a bad shot, misses, Lamar guns it to the other end and Smush just happens to run under it. There is two seconds left; all he has to do is dribble once or twice and the game is over. Instead, he tried to go in for a hard dunk, Raja Bell hits him with a hard foul, and D'Antoni is pissed.

So now, instead of PHX just thinking they played bad and have to bounce back, they now have the image of Smush Parker being a classless jackass right in front of their bench, trying to rub it in. I would have cut him yesterday.

So LA gets a game and makes it a series, 2-1. Coming in, I wanted to see Kobe take on the Suns. Kobe pretty much lived up to my expectations, but the Suns played one of their worst games of the season. If they play even a little better in Game 4, PHX can wrap it up on their home court. If not, this series might go a little longer than everyone expected.

And props to Iverson4MVP. You are the MVP.

Do the Mock Drafters Have Any Idea What They Are Talking About?

2007-04-26T17:00:00.000-04:00

Well, we are about to find out.

Kiper and McShay, obviously, are all over ESPN, so I gather that they are the two preeminent mock drafters there is. Peter King is probably the most read football writer on the planet, and he is always yapping about how good Rick Gosselin is (and I read about his mock-awesomeness in a Slate article - why hasn't anyone scooped him up yet?). That mock drafter on the end is a moron; just ignore whatever he says.

These guys are the voice of reason heading into the draft, but no one ever holds them accountable after the fact. It is high time for someone to do just that, and who better than an obscure sports blog? Exactly.

We'll grade this a few ways:

1. How many picks do you get right? Now, it's hard to account for trades, so here's what we are going to do. It took me forever to put all those little helmets in this table, so if you match the player to the helmet, you get a point.

Mel says the Raiders are nabbing JaMarcus Russell with the first pick. If someone jumps up to No. 1 and grabs Russell, Mel gets no points, even though he did say JaMarcus was going No. 1. Player has to match the helmet. (If you had to click the same five buttons in a row 32 straight times; you'd agree with me.)

2. Number of picks in the first round. This kind of protects against trades and what not and tries to gauge whether these guys know who the top 32 picks are.

And there we have it. I'll fill in the most up-to-date mock draft I can find from each mock drafter before the draft starts. I may or may not update it in real time, but we'll see after the draft who did the best.

Full disclosure: I highly suspect Mel is full of shit, I have no idea what to expect from new kid on the block McShay, I don't even know if Peter King does a mock draft, but if it is as useful as his fantasy predictions, I can't wait (!) and I bet Gosselin gets 30 out of 32.

If I didn't include your favorite mock drafter, let me know, link me to his latest mock draft, and I'll add him to the list.

Who do you think will do the best? Will anyone even come close to doing well?

Mek Kiper, Jr.	Todd McShay	Peter King	Rick Gosselin	Point 23

The Most Meaningless Conspiracy of All Time

2007-04-26T07:23:00.000-04:00

Oh, this is not going to go away quickly.

George Eads of the Boston Globe reports this morning about some comments that Gary Thorne made during last night's Boston/Baltimore game. Thorne casually mentions that he was told by BoSox catcher Doug Mirabelli - over two years ago - that Curt Schilling's famous bloody sock wasn't bloody at all. It was paint.

That's...I'm just...wow. I don't know what to say. Hmm.

Someone is coming out of this with a marred reputation, I think. I don't see how this ends with all parties not looking like jackasses. Man, this is going to be so much fun. So, so much fun.

The immediate reaction is that Mirabelli was just messing around with Thorne and Thorne just misunderstood him, until you get Mirabelli's reaction to hearing what Thorne said.

"What? Are you kidding me? He's [expletive] lying. A straight lie. I never said that. I know it was blood. Everybody knows it was blood."

So Mirabelli is flat out denying saying it. That means either he or Thorne is lying. There is just no other way to describe it. This is awesome.

"I honestly don't know who Gary Thorne is, that's a straight lie."

Wow, Mirabelli. You don't even know the guy? Seriously, who's making shit up here? I cannot wait until we find out who is lying here. This is going to be even better than I originally thought.

There's an obvious way to figure this out, which is just to test the sock for blood. The sock is at the freakin' Hall of Fame, so we should be able to get our hands on it. Get Gil Grissom on the phone; he'll have this whole matter cleared up before the first commercial break.

But any kind of testing will probably never happen, which almost makes this better. Say this whole thing was faked, and the Red Sox decided to paint Curt Schilling's sock - for PR, as Gary Thorne puts it. Where would that rank in the grand scheme of all-time scandals in the sports world?

It is just so bizarre; it is in a category all of its own. It didn't affect the outcome of a game, a series, a season. This isn't Bonds taking 'roids and gaining an advantage over everyone else (well, OK...an advantage over a few guys). This is purely aesthetics. It has nothing to do with anything, really, except maybe the lure of the moment.

Even if it does come out the it was paint or ketchup or whatever, it doesn't really change anything. MLB can't punish someone for wearing paint on their sock. The outcome of the game won't be held in disrepute. It will just make Curt Schilling look like the most crazed, insane, over-the-top ego maniac to ever lace 'em up. He was in the Top 10 already; this would lock up the No. 1 spot in a heart beat.

I can't think of anything to compare this to, but I can't even make up anything to compare it to. I am trying to think of a sporting moment that basically everyone in the nation with even a passing interest in sports was paying attention to but could somehow be tainted in a manner that in no way, shape or form affects the outcome.

How could you taint George Mason's run to the Final Four? Or Lance Armstrong's seventh Tour de France win? Or Federer's recent dominance? How could those be tainted, but without cheating? It is so bizarre. Just so, so bizarre.

And not to be overlooked is just how casually Thorne throws it out there:

"The great story we were talking about the other night was that famous red stocking that he wore when they finally won, the blood on his stocking. Nah. It was painted. Doug Mirabelli confessed up to it after. It was all for PR. Two-ball, two-strike count."

Does he not realize the inflammatory statement he just made? He just tainted the greatest moment in Red Sox history, and he drops it like he's talking about an anecdote from yesterday's double header. Unreal.

"Hey Red Sox nation: remember the greatest moment of your sporting life? It was all tainted. Two-ball, two-strike count."

"On the way to the ballpark, I saw a box of puppies on the side of the road. I just ran them all over. Had to have been ten, eleven puppies. Ran them over and then back over them for good measure. One away here in the fourth."

"Oh, I've slept with her countless times. She is all business. Real cougar, that one."
"Who's that, partner?"
"Your wife. Full count here, runners on the corners."

"So I just chopped the body up in a meat processor, just like I saw on the Sopranos. Harder than they make it look, ya know? Single up the middle for Crisp."

I can't wait to hear Gary Thorne defend this. I have a sneaking suspiscion this is only going to get better and better.

Second Season, Day 5

2007-04-26T02:39:00.000-04:00

I'll be honest with you: I wasn't paying the closest attention to the playoffs tonight. The game I really wanted to see was relegated to NBATV and as a result I forgot to turn on the Nugs game right away. Then I made the decision to watch LOST instead of the first half of Dallas/Golden St. And hey, that's a decision I can live with. So the Day 5 recap will be a little light with the hard hitting analysis you have come to expect. Frankly, I'm stunned I am doing this two days in a row, so at least it's something.

A quick programming note: I'd like to live blog each team at least once before they get bounced from the Second Season. That depends heavily on NBATV and my will power, both wildly inconsistent entities. As best I can tell, Thursday's games are Pistons/Magic, Rockets/Jazz and Suns/Lakers. Rockets/Jazz gets bounced to no man's land, so tomorrow's choices are Pistons/Magic or Suns/Lakers.

Tell ya what: we'll leave it up to a vote. Odds are, this vote ends 1-0, but still. So whatever game you want live-blogged tomorrow, vote right below, and that's the game you get. Just remember: if you screw me and vote for the Pistons, you're gonna have to read about it. Its kinda like cheating on a test: in the long run, you are only cheating yourself.

Opinion Polls & Market Research

Onto the Day 5 recap...

Cavs go up 2-0 on the Wizards. Good, Cavs, good. You still get the feeling that Cleveland really doesn't care yet, though. They had a 15 point lead at one point, but the Wizards were still in it with under a minute to go. I guess they are taking care of business, but it's isn't very convincing, is it? If The Light Switches (they genuinely believe they can turn it on whenever they so choose, I think) win the next two games and wrap things up in Washington, no matter how close, I'll feel a little better - a little - but a blow out would ease my mind a little bit.

LeBron has played solidly in the first two games, but hasn't dominated. On the bright side, Larry Hughes owned Game 1 and Drew Gooden and Drew Gooden's Hair Patch on the Back of His Head owned Game 2. If Z drops 30 in Game 3 I can live with this trend; if not, LeBron needs to dominate a game.

Nuggets late game rally falls just short; series heads to Denver tied 1-1. Man, Denver almost had it. Maybe if they would have made one of the 13 lay ups the blew in the first half, it would have been a different game, but who knows. I don't think Denver could ask for much more than a win and a nail-biter in San Antonio. Their confidence should be brimming heading back to Denver.

If I was Denver, the match up I would be the most scared of is Steve Blake guarding Tony Parker. Parker lived in the paint last night; there was nothing Blake could do to stop him. I don't know how they remedy that short of switching defenders because no strategy is going to stop it - Blake just can't keep Mr. Longoria out of the paint. Hopefully Tony forgets he can do this or has a crappy night shooting.

How much of a beast is Nene? Two to three times a game he dunks balls that I am stunned he dunks - and he just hammers them through the rim. Dudes are just ducking to get out of the way. Iverson found him a couple of times and I was expecting a little floater - "he's just a tad too far away to dunk this" - and then he nearly pops the ball as he positively destroys the rim.

Along those same lines, Old Man Bob Horry has dunk-tipped two or three balls with surprising power and grace. I didn't even know he ventured inside the three point line anymore. Impressive.

If they can get two - and that's a tall order, but not completely unrealistic - then this series is over. A split pretty much wraps it up for San Antonio. This will end up being the best series of the first round because...

Dallas has figured out Golden St. Well, that was fun while it lasted, but this series is over. Oakland should be sufficiently fired up for its first playoff game in 47 years, but Dallas is just too good. Seems to me like two things happened:

1) Avery decided that the strategy that won him the most games in the league would probably work against the No. 8 seed in the playoffs.

2) Dallas took it personal. They looked particularly fired up, especially Jason Terry. Dirk is their best player, but I would guess that JET is their emotional leader. He'll sleep in a Golden St. uni all week and have them ready to take care of business in the next three games.

You know what this means, though? At least three more games of Don Nelson's "we don't have a chance in hell of winning" comments where everyone knows he's lying and it is actually starting to become disrespectful to the Mavs. If I played for the Mavs, that would piss me off more than anything, because the implication is, Yea, I'm saying we can't win, but everyone here knows I'm lying. I'm secretly outsmarting the best team in the NBA. Just watch the shit I'm gonna come up with next...

Hopefully we only have to hear that bullshit for three more games.

You know what was shocking, though? Stephen Jackson got tossed. Frankly, I was stunned. Didn't see it coming. And when he wouldn't leave the court? Totally out of character.

How 'bout Reggie Miller defending him? Deep down, Stephen Jackson is a good guy...he is just a little tempermental, like I was. Really, Reggie? I don't recall you charging into the stands during a game, or firing off five "warning shots" (I was more excited that "warning shots" was introduced into my vocabulary than "making it rain." I love that term.) outside a club, or your team taking on two terrible, terrible contracts just to get rid of you. You are the face of the problem player for the NBA?

I'm sure Reggie has talked with him and knows him a little bit, but I think he may be getting hoodwinked. He has it backwards, I think: on the surface, Stephen is a good guy; deep down, he's certifiably insane. That track record speaks for itself.

Second Season: Day 4

2007-04-25T01:14:00.000-04:00

Here's the goal: after each day's slate of games wraps up, I want to get a post up about the night that was in the NBA. Now, keep in mind that I have fallen short of every single goal I have ever set for this website - seriously, every single one - so, you know, take this for what it's worth.

Just to get it out of the way: the Raptors evened their series with the Nets, but since it was on NBATV, five people saw it. Good for you, Toronto. Steal one in NJ and we'll talk.

Now.

TNT beamed two beat downs into my living room last night: Chicago kicked off the evening with a thorough thrashing of the listless Heat and then Phoenix annihilated the Lakers. Here's the difference: both losers head home where they have a chance to even their respective series. If Miami won a game, I don't think you'd be too hard pressed to find someone who was all that caught off guard. If LA somehow managed to come up with a W, I would be shocked. Shocked.

PHX didn't just blow out the Lakers, they crushed their spirit. They broke them. They tore their heart out. The Suns were relentless. They just pushed and pushed and pushed and then crammed the ball down the Lakers' throat. It was almost to the point where it was too much. I kept seeing Mel Gibson in Braveheart killing dudes that'd been dead for ten minutes. You could see it in Phoenix' eyes: they were sending a message, and if the Lakers didn't get it, let me paraphrase: You can not play with us. Get the hell off our court. Don't even bother trying, because it won't be worth it.

And you know what? LA did just that. Early in the third quarter, the Lakers - sans Ronny Turiaf (maters) - quit. They just had enough. They couldn't take it anymore. They just laid down and let Phoenix run all over them. They didn't put up a fight. No one yelled, slammed a ball, committed a hard foul (Odom grabbing Nash for no good reason doesn't count; in any other game, Nash kissing his little biceps in response would have been the most denigrating aspect of the night). They just let Phoenix score, hung their head, inbounded the ball, made some sorry, half-assed attempt to score and then let the whole process happen all over again. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

Kobe took it personal when he was accused on bailing on his team in this exact same instance last season. All signs pointed to him tanking, but, hey - he was the ultimate competitor, the closest thing to MJ since MJ, and it just didn't add up. But he quit last night and you'll never convince me otherwise.

There was a play early in the third quarter where he had the ball stripped from him and he just stopped playing. Just stopped. He didn't bust his ass back to try to get the ball back, he didn't trail the play, he didn't even bitch to a ref. He just stopped, like, fuck this. He just had enough of killing himself for no good reason. Whether he has reason enough to quit - hey, they ain't winning anyways - is up to smarter people than me to figure out, but he quit tonight (and probably last year, too).

He has to be feeling underappreciated. He kills himself for 48 minutes trying to keep a critically undermanned team in a game to the point that he's so exhausted in the fourth quarter that he can barely keep up, and then all he hears - from the media, from his own coach - is that he has to involve his teammates more. You can see why he'd balk at the idea: no one out there is playing even half as hard as he is, except for Ronny Turiaf (matters). Smush doesn't even try, Odom gets lost staring into space, Kwame is worthless, Farmar is better off not trying because every time he does, Nash takes it personal for some reason and just abuses him for the next minute or so (Nash had some weird fixation with Farmar, I think: watch the next time Farmer scores - Nash will push it faster than usual, take him one-on-one, get to the rim and either score or find some one. Every time). So, yea, Kobe stops being Kobe just to send a message. It's a misguided attempt to show just how important he is, but I can see where he is coming from.

But the Lakers are done. They are 12 mental midgets being coached by someone who thinks he's "letting his players figure things out" but is really "not coaching." Seriously, Phil - 9 and a half minutes to call a time out in the third? You sure you are trying?

That series is over.

The Heat, on the other hand, still have a chance, but that is about it. If they don't get both games in Miami, they are D-U-N.

Miami's guards just can't handle Chicago's. It looks like a March Madness game, guards penetrating at will, driving and kicking all over the place. In fact, that is exactly what it is: the Bulls are a random 12-seed you never heard of who pull the opening weekend upset.

They have guards who can drive and kick and then knock down the open shot, they have the foreign dude who does a little bit of everything, they have the freaky athletic guy who wreaks havoc all over the place, and they have the small, undersized post player who has to outplay everyone with his effort.

The Heat are the under achieving conference powerhouse: the dominant big man, the super star guard, a bunch of role players who defer to them and then un-clutch when they get called upon in the big stage.

Lucky for the Heat this is a seven-game series and not a one-and-done proposition. How can anyone really expect the Heat to win this series, though, when after Game 1, Wade said the Heat played like this was a regular season game (I knew they didn't always play hard!) and then after Game 2, Shaq says the intensity needs to go about by "two times, three times, ten times." They are just getting outplayed; the Bulls want it more.

It'll be interesting to see how both the Heat and Lakers play for game three. If the Heat show up, they have a chance; it really doesn't matter what the Lakers do.

David Halberstam Passes Away at 73.

2007-04-24T03:09:00.000-04:00

Some sad news: David Halberstam died last night.

He was on his way to interview YA Title for a new book he was working on and was blindsided by another car. He was 73 years old. What a shame.

I've read three of Halberstam's books: Playing for Keeps, The Education of a Coach, and The Breaks of the Game.

He was just a terrific writer. This is going to be said by much smarter people who knew the man and the author much better than me, but he was easily one of the best writers I ever read. He was so good that he made me disappointed in nearly any other sports book I read.

Two things struck me about Halberstam's writing: first, I could come across a random, unattributed paragraph - maybe even just a single sentence - and know without a doubt that Halberstam wrote it. His writing was that distinct and unique. I can't say that about too many other authors.

The other aspect came across after reading an entire book. The attention to detail and tireless reporting he put into his work really showed. His books are filled with these wonderful side stories and digressions from the main point, but they are never without purpose. He had just interviewed his subjects so thoroughly - and so many of them; seriously, look at the acknowledgements in the back of one of his books - that he has so much information to use. But what they end up doing is putting the entire story in terrific context. You remember these little anecdotes after reading the book and through them you remember the larger point Halberstam was trying to make.

I know he won a Pulitzer for his work with the Vietnam War, but I only know him through his sports writing. He wrote about some pretty important things, but sports is my connection to him. If that is all it ever is, then that is good enough for me.

And I hope that I can say I am doing something I loved when I am 73 years old. How many people can say that?

Why Does TNT Think Magic Johnson on "Inside the NBA" is a Good Idea?

2007-04-24T00:35:00.000-04:00

You know what I've never heard before? "Man, Inside the NBA is pretty good, but it is just missing something, ya know?"

I've also never heard, "Hey, I was watching Inside the NBA last night and I thought that they needed some one to the left of Ernie. I mean, there's all this space over there...why don't they use it?"

Similarly, no one has ever said to me, "Hey, don't you think Inside the NBA could use someone who talked very slow and methodically and made very broad, very obvious statements? I really think that could take the show to a whole new level."

It seems to me that it was a pretty universally agreed upon truth that Inside the NBA was the perfect NBA studio show. It won awards and stuff, right? Everyone loves it, don't they?

When you are settling in to watch that evening's NBA slate of games, and you flick to TNT, and you see Kyra Sedgewick fumbling through her purse (Seriously, what the hell is she always doing that for? Do the criminals in that show just tell her shit while she's digging through there?) and then you flick to ESPN to see Bill Walton's shit-eating grin, doesn't your stomach sink a little?

Ernie, Kenny and Chuck have stumbled upon studio show gold, but for some reason TNT thinks it's a marvelous idea to throw Magic Johnson into the mix. Where they got this notion escapes me, but they seem pretty geeked about it.

I've come up with two theories. First, TNT thinks Magic really brings insightful analysis to the table; his clever, engaging banter with the fellas helps the show flow smoothly from one segment to the next and viewers tune it just to see his charming smile. I quickly dismissed this as preposterous, however, and settled on theory number two: Magic hangs around in the Green Room and they just can't get rid of him.

I think when Kenny and Chuck walk into the studio, they walk past Ernie (who has obviously been there for hours already), he gives them The Look and they just know. Shit. Magic is here again. Then Magic comes bouncing out of the green room with two Diet Cokes and three plates full of snacks, grinning from ear to ear, trying to slap high fives and balance his food at the same time. The producers have tried to tell him that he isn't scheduled for next show, but he convienently forgets, and hey, since I'm here, I might as well go on! Right? Huh, guys! Right!?!?!

That has to be it. Because no one at TNT can watch the show with him and then watch it without him and possibly think that his presence makes the show better.

Listen, I like Magic Johnson. I think he's a good guy, has a passion for basketball, seems fairly knowledgeable about the game. He's been very successful in many other areas of his life: he is one of the greatest players ever, he is a terrific inner-city businessman; he inexplicably and super-humanly somehow defeated AIDS. But he's just not good with a microphone clipped to his collar. Doesn't mean he isn't an accomplished dude, just means he's killing one of the reasons playoff basketball is so great.

(But seriously, he defeated AIDS! That's impossible, right? Hell, if I did that, I would probably convince myself I could do anything I wanted to, too. He should try to scale Everest.)

It is just excrutating with him involved. Ernie will broach a new topic, then turn to his left, say "Magic, what do you think of that?" and then Magic will make the same point he's been making for a week, slowly and methodically, using his hands as much as possible, while everyone patiently waits for him to finish, like when the teacher accidentally calls on the dyslexic kid who reads the same line five times before some one has the heart to tell him to move on. Then Kenny and Chuck talk, and its like waking up from a terrible nap. Oh, there we go...people talking that I want to listen to...what just happened there? I blacked out for a minute.

Kenny and Chuck go out of their way to include him on the conversations, and hesitate to disagree with him. Ernie, Kenny and Chuck all argue with each other like they are brothers; with Magic, they are reticent to bust his chops too much, probably because they are afraid he won't get it. It's just all so akward, everyone handling him with kid gloves. The reason the show is so great is because of its spontaneity; with Magic, its like he gets his turn to talk and then the real show resumes.

Basically, he's ruining everything.

And even besides all that, he just looks stupid and out of place sitting over there by himself on the left. I like to think that when he shows up, the head producer belts out over the PA system, "Get out The Magic Desk!" while Ernie, Kenny and Chuck all mumble son of a bitch! under thier breaths.

Soon enough, they are going to be actively thinking of ways to get rid of him, kind of like ABC with Paul McGuire when they stuck him in that ludicrous roving ladder thing and he was somehow ever more annoying. Magic on a roving ladder would be a splendid idea, I think, if only because an in-studio wreck would be the greatest moment ever on Inside the NBA.

Hey, "in-studio wreck" pretty well sums up Magic to begin with, eh?